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Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child

by Laura Davis

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234288,614 (3.95)None
"But what about me?" "Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues?" "Will we ever make love again?" "Will the survivor love me in the end?" "How do I know if I should throw in the towel?" Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners--girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers--trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers: The Basics--answers common questions about sexual abuse. Allies in Healing--introduces key concepts of working and growing together. My Needs and Feelings--teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs. Dealing with Crisis--includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness. Intimacy and Communication--offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting. Sex--provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration. Family lssues--suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family. Partners' Stories--explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.… (more)
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This review is from: Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child (Paperback)
I am a survivor who is also an ally in healing. This book is quite good in helping you to help others. It is written by one of the authors of Courage in Healing.

If you love someone who has been abused sexually as a child, this is a good place to start. If you are a spouse, lover, partner to a survivor of abuse, this book will help to answer some of the questions you have.

For instance, Laura Davis helps you to know that you are not wrong for feeling that so much is often about the survivor and their abuse. Sometimes, you feel overwhelmed by it. Laura helps you to learn a little about how to help you and your partner so that you are not overwhelmed.

You learn how to take care of your desires, needs and more while helping your partner.

I recommend reading this book if you are trying to help someone who is a survivor
( )
  Sirsangel | Jan 17, 2015 |
This book lost half a star because the author makes unnecessary references to being a lesbian. Being abused as a child has little to do with sexual preference. At times, the author tends to "overstate" that she is a Proud Lesbian.

She may be proud, but in this book, she should be more professional. Still, highly recommended. ( )
1 vote terrybanker | Feb 22, 2007 |
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"But what about me?" "Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues?" "Will we ever make love again?" "Will the survivor love me in the end?" "How do I know if I should throw in the towel?" Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners--girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers--trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers: The Basics--answers common questions about sexual abuse. Allies in Healing--introduces key concepts of working and growing together. My Needs and Feelings--teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs. Dealing with Crisis--includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness. Intimacy and Communication--offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting. Sex--provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration. Family lssues--suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family. Partners' Stories--explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.

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