I'm the Vampire, That's Why

Go ahead and add I'm the Vampire, That's Why to the growing list of lackluster paranormals that are clogging up bookshelves around the nation. This book is like vampire paranormal goulash - Bardsley just threw plot elements from other vampire series into the pot, and waited to see what would happen.

Bardsley gallups through the setup, where we learn about her alternate reality and her main characters. She's so busy getting to the good stuff she devotes no more than a paragraph to any of the following things: (1) The narrator finding out that vampires exist (2) The narrator finding out that she's dead (3) The narrator finding out that she's a vampire (4) The narrator coming to grips with the drinking of blood. The sum total of the show more narrator's reaction to these things is: Pretty crazy, huh?

Seriously, I don't care about the rules of her alternate reality if I'm not discovering it with the narrator, feeling it with the narrator, really getting involved in the STORY.

Her vampires are basically just superheroes with fangs. They have a laundry list of supernatural powers, they wake up from their Turning extra-gorgeous, and they don't seem to have any kind of noticeable personality change from their earlier, human selves - bloodlust is mild, no hunting instincts. So vampires either volunteer blood to one another, or else they feed off of donor humans, and it's all very civilized.

Jessica's romance with Patrick would be hot...if Bardsley hadn't pretty much spoiled it from the beginning. The reader discovers almost on the first page that Jessica is wearing a very special, very ancient ring and it has been prophesied for thousands of years that whoever next wore this ring is Patrick's soul-mate. Patrick believes in this prophesy, so he's instantly devoted to Jessica; and he's a really (almost tiresomely) nice guy. So there isn't a whole lot of tension to the romance; sure, it makes sense that Jessica needs a few days to think it over, and it sucks that they can't have sex while she thinks; and yes, she ought to wonder how her kids fit into the equation, but there's no real threat to their union, just a frustrating deferral.

What else? Too many characters, introduced too quickly, without enough personality. Over the top evil villains. Jessica pretty much ignores her kids throughout the novel (it's always, "Well, there goes another night without seeing my kids...good thing I know they'r safe!"), characters say and do things at inappropriate times and places (example: Evil Ex Girlfriend interrupts a war room powwow to tell Patrick, out of the blue, "We were good before, we could be again" - don't even Evil Ex Girlfriends have a sense of timing?). A real cop-out at the ending.

Bloodless? Absolutely. show less

I'm the Vampire, That's Why (Broken Heart, Oklahoma, Book 1) Well, I don't know about you, but this book came at just the right time for me, and I was very pleased with it.
It was a light, fast read, with laugh out-loud moments, a gorgeous, yummy man, a strong and funny woman, lovable supporting characters, a world that was interesting and well explained, and a very nice and tiara filled ending.
I loved the writing style, and I couldn't put the book down once I started. I would most definitely be reading more of this series and Michele Bardsley works :)

What kind of book do you get when you mix the chick-lit sass of a soccer mom with the urban fantasy cool of a vampire clan? A really clever book, that's what.

Jessica Matthews is like any other homemaking mom when she and ten of her fellow residents of Broken Heart, Oklahoma wake up dead. Or rather-- undead. Whoops. Jess and her friends have been accidentally noshed on by a vampire being treated for an illness spreading amongst vampire kind known as the Taint. Lucky for the PTA they couldn't catch the disease as humans and a group of parakind known as the Consortium has brought them all back to life (or unlife) as vamps. How can the PTA raise kids when they drop dead asleep every morning and don't rise until dark? And what does this show more mean for their sex lives?

In Jessica's case this means she has to choose between her kids and the hot Irish stud who sired her. Or does it? You're just gonna have to read the book to find out.

Although lacking in the darker undertones of a good urban fantasy, I'm the Vampire, That's Why is a sexy and witty novel filled with all the elements of good fluffy fiction. If you prefer your paranormal romances to be darker, angstier and more serious you might not enjoy this book. But if you like to mix it up now and again with a light-hearted and more comedic story this is a standout for the genre. I didn't fall in love with our hero and heroine so much as the outside players from the German werewolf guardians and the dreamy actor Johnny Angelo (you'll love the James Dean clone) to Jessica's typical kids and her small town friends.

This is a paranormal with real heart and while lighter, fluffier reading than the heavy-weights of the genre this series is going onto my favorites shelf. show less

There was so much that I could've liked about this book, but somehow it just missed the mark as everything just felt a little too contrived. Patrick is just too good to be true, even in fiction, while the whole set up felt like one massive cliché. Not sure that I'll be hurrying to read other books in the series.

A single parent protagonist? And of under-18s too. Something different -Whoo-hoo!

The humour for me was hit-and-miss (Woobies? Seriously?) but what really intrigued me was Jessica's relationship with her dead husband, Rich and his mistress, Charlene and their baby, little Richie. The emotional side of things. You can't help feeling for Jess while she's trying to figure out how to deal the mistress of her dead husband now permanently entrenched in her life as another new vampire, sharing the same master (jealousy but that's not irrational -she steals one man, she might steal another) as well as adjusting to the undead lifestyle and holding off the enemy Wraiths. What Charlene reveals about Rich changes the way Jess feels about him but show more ultimately the outcome of her marriage would've been the same.

Aside from the constant worry for their health and safetly and considering Jess is a widowed single mother, we don't see too much of the children. I know the focus is on the couple coming together being romance and all but I was desperate to know how they felt about the werewolves and vampires in their lives beyond the obvious "Coooool!"

I liked the origin stories behind the first vampire and The Rings as well as the concept of claiming and mating for 100 years. It cuts out the possibility of straying but could leave you in a miserable situation. Overall, this was an easy, fast and fun read. show less

Wow, is this what women are reading right now? I bought this set at the library expecting some fluffy chick lit about vampires and instead I got - well, THAT - but also a lot of sex. Page after page of silly lovemaking scenes with a too gorgeous vampire who's way too possessive.

I liked Jessica, the turnblood. There were funny parts but really this entire book was just a pretence. They only needed a thin plot to divide the many sessions where they keep "doing it".

I got annoyed. I rolled my eyes. And I read the entire book. I own this series now (sigh) so might as well make the most of it.

If you're into erotica and vampires, this might be the book for you. I was bummed that its not more about her parenting. I inferred that from the show more title. Sigh. show less

I expected that there would be more domestic comedy with the vampire twist. This is what the cover and blurbs seemed to promise. The book was too much about high vampire politics. The sex scenes came too quickly, and they were too long. I kept thinking, enough already!! The Irish twist in this book was interesting, and this would have been a good background for the domestic comedy. I liked when Ruadan appeared late in the book, but it was too little too late. I would have welcomed more of the tone sounded in the daughters essay about her new family, but this was nearly the last thing in the book. I will give the sequel a chance, I guess.