The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing

A journalist’s empathetic account of people’s sexual fetishes and compulsions which includes a man with a foot fetish, one with an amputee fetish, a pedophile and a dominatrix. The four share personal reflections, and are interviewed about the impact their urges have had on their lives. Bergner also interviews a well-known psychiatrist, one of the few who treats pedophiles. I was impressed by how well Bergner conveyed the need for compassion in treating and understanding people who have innate compulsions that fall outside of the societal norms. I really found this to be an interesting book that helped deepen my understanding of an aberrant aspect of human nature and how important it is to have sympathy for one’s characters even show more if one doesn’t like them. show less

While the subject matter is compelling- what is a "kink", and how does it come about?- this book offers very little in the way of insights or information.

One problem is that the author seems overly credulous: he takes the word of his subjects, be they paraphiliacs or scientists- without weighing what they say against anything else- even published facts, in the case of the pedophile stepfather; one wouldhave thought a journalist, in particular, would have looked up the newspaper accounts sooner rather than later.

A bigger problem, though, is that the writing zooms all over the place. Partial anecdote! scientific study! Interview with therapist! then maybe zooming back to touch on one of the previous before hitting a new tangent! It did show more keep me unsure of what was going on, which tends to lead to people being more credulous themselves... but I didn't appreciate that; it felt overly manipulative, and the end result was increased confusion rather than understanding.

Not recommended if you want insight rather than "intellectual" titillation. show less

This book tells the story of four individuals who have sexual interests that are, to a greater or lesser degree, outside the mainstream. The author talks to foot fetishist, a dominatrix, a amputee fetishist and a convicted molester about their desires and how their desires affect their lives. I think the selections are uneven. The foot fetishist is the most interesting and the one that I felt the most sympathy for because he is genuinely tormented by his proclivity. The others were less sympathetic, either because of their particular interest or their personalities. I also have to say that two of the four people in the book are receiving therapy and I think the therapy may be doing more harm than good.

More a collection of four extended essays than a book, this book is slightly uneven, but still powerful. Daniel Berger zooms close in on an individual subject rather than approaching a topic from the macro level. Whether or not this works for you is likely a matter of taste.

This was really creepy and I couldn't finish it. It really felt like the author was just getting his rocks off by describing pedophile's activities..