The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-first Century

Alarming trends: 1 out of 4 americans confided in "no one" in the last 6 months; more people rather talk a/b being "depressed" instead of being "lonely"; B. Ehrenreich's "cult of busyness" as a badge of honor; "cocooning inside their own homes and the absence of witnesses"; fathers not wanting to be like their dads so they spend more time with their kids/family but at what costs to their social relationships; "being neighborly used to mean visiting people; now being nice to your neighbors means not bothering them." Well-written discussion on the increasing social disconnection and drifting in our society and what we can do about it by two psychiatrists, who also happen to be married to one another. The importance of "staying limber." show more (Odd note: Judd Apatow's "Knocked Up" actually makes many of the same points albeit disguised behind crude toilet humor. Apatow's films seem rude, crude and obnoxious on the surface, but just beneath are some real relevant topics facing men today. I am thinking of "Superbad.") Related tags: Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone, Philip Slater's Pursuit of Loneliness, Emerson's "self-reliance", Robin Dunbar's Grooming, Gossip & The Evolution of Language, neuroscience, neurobiology of attachment and "being left out", oxytocin, outsider myth, overexuberant individualism, marriage & high expectations, children's emotional problems, substance abuse, global warming. show less

This is a wise and thoughtful book about subtle changes in our lives and our communities that I had felt but not been able to identify. (Awareness of how we have stepped back from people is a key step.) The authors discuss how our culture's appreciation of solitude and independence has created various complicated problems, including but not limited to loneliness. Also very well written!

I see loneliness as endemic to contemporary America. Everywhere I go, I meet the lonely. Olds explores this issue. How did this come to occur? Why? Where? What can be done about it?Like most books about social problems, the thinnest section of the book is home remedies. And that is the section we need most.

IFS apparently not mentioned