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A teenage sociopath has to let his dark side out to do battle with a real monster in this first book in a darkly comic new series from author Dan Wells..
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LongDogMom Similar in style and voice. Both mid-teens who believe they might become killers and both become hunters in a unique way.
20
SomeGuyInVirginia Dan's book is better, I've only created this link because there is some thematic overlap.
Member Reviews
John Wayne Cleaver is a sociopath. His dad’s name is Sam – that makes him the “Son of Sam”, he shares a name with serial killer John Wayne Gacey, and his surname is a weapon. He also works at a mortuary and loves seeing the dead bodies that come through.
He can’t emote his feelings. He doesn’t feel any empathy. He has a monster inside of him telling him to kill, but to try not to kill he lives his life according to a set of rules he has made for himself.
So when a serial killer starts killing off people in his town, John becomes fascinated. Obsessed. He spends all his conscious moments trying to come up with a motive and a profile. And then… he sees who the killer is and makes it his effort to kill him before he strikes show more again.
It’s a really intense real, but highly entertaining. I particularly loved the parts between John and his psychologist Dr Nebler. John is very open and upfront about his thoughts and feelings and I felt like as a reader, I really learnt a lot about who John is.
We really get into John’s head during this book. See how he thinks and what his thought patterns are. It’s quite disturbing at times, especially how he thinks about Brooke in particular (his neighbour who has a crush on him – and visa versa), but it certainly was captivating and interesting none the less.
The twist that takes place about a third of the way though the book is absolutely massive. It changes the whole way you see the book and its characters, and certainly knocks John for a loop as well. Dan Wells was so clever when he wrote this book, the way that twist (really, there’s actually two twists kinda all made up into one big twist. lol) was played was absolutely brilliant!
Well written, and fascinating – I really enjoyed this book and hope to be able to read the sequel at some stage! show less
He can’t emote his feelings. He doesn’t feel any empathy. He has a monster inside of him telling him to kill, but to try not to kill he lives his life according to a set of rules he has made for himself.
So when a serial killer starts killing off people in his town, John becomes fascinated. Obsessed. He spends all his conscious moments trying to come up with a motive and a profile. And then… he sees who the killer is and makes it his effort to kill him before he strikes show more again.
It’s a really intense real, but highly entertaining. I particularly loved the parts between John and his psychologist Dr Nebler. John is very open and upfront about his thoughts and feelings and I felt like as a reader, I really learnt a lot about who John is.
We really get into John’s head during this book. See how he thinks and what his thought patterns are. It’s quite disturbing at times, especially how he thinks about Brooke in particular (his neighbour who has a crush on him – and visa versa), but it certainly was captivating and interesting none the less.
The twist that takes place about a third of the way though the book is absolutely massive. It changes the whole way you see the book and its characters, and certainly knocks John for a loop as well. Dan Wells was so clever when he wrote this book, the way that twist (really, there’s actually two twists kinda all made up into one big twist. lol) was played was absolutely brilliant!
Well written, and fascinating – I really enjoyed this book and hope to be able to read the sequel at some stage! show less
I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this book. I knew enough of Wells' work to know that it would be well-written, but I've never been a horror fan and I didn't know what to expect from the genre. Happily, I found this book to be strong on psychological suspense and character development and light on gore and other elements that would have been a turnoff for me. I also loved the main character's deadpan sense of humor.
I was so far away from the rest of the world that there was a demon between us when I tried to look back.
I came into this with few expectations beyond a prayer that I wouldn't have to awkwardly confess to myself that I didn't like the work of someone whose advice I'd been recording so diligently. So I'm very relieved and very pleased to report (to myself) that this was as structurally sound and clean as I expected from Dan-Wells-of-the-Good-Advice, but unexpectedly charming and touching with some really fascinating character work.
Firstly, because it's driving me insane to not address it: Wells spoiled the "twist" a couple times on the podcast, so I didn't get this apparently disengaging whiplash that a lot of other people had. I managed show more to find a friend who'd read John Cleaver and they told me that it seemed to come out of left field and they'd prefer it had been a human serial killer all along. Buuuuut, personally I think Wells couldn't have made a better decision. Another serial killer wouldn't have done much for John - he'd already done enough self-reflection by researching murderers, so to bring in another human would just rehash the exact foundation on which John is introduced and turn this into some battle-of-wits play. The demon aspect was worth it for the creativity and the exact quote that I added above. It would have been SO OBVIOUS to shove John in front of a mirror like "look this is what u are!!!!", but instead we got similar themes in much more agonizing ways: the monster was more human than John.
Moving on - I mentioned 'structurally sound' and holy shit, I don't think I can give that title to any other book ever again. This was so ridiculously clean. No pointless scenes, no excess lines, every emotional beat and plot reveal done with just the right tone and pace and tightness. That's helped by the relative simplicity of the plot (I was often a step or two ahead of John in the mystery, and I'm SO bad at solving mysteries), but not to its detriment. Where the plot (and extra characters) were things that you could summarize in a couple sentences, most of the focus went onto deconstructing John. Who was so neat, I'm sorry, John and his paraded sociopathy made my social-justice brain go into overdrive and self-destruct, BUT HE'S A KID I CAN CHERISH, OKAY.
Like, okay, I'll admit, the first half of the book handled his diagnosis with some heavy-handedness (which made it feel very YA to me? idk). At times the tone swerved hard into "lol hey guys, I'm just your AVERAGE EDGY WACKO" but I guess I'll excuse it because John was so very aware and had accepted it. Not in the way that he was happy about it, but that he knew there was no getting away from it and for the most part it was sorta Whatever, so he didn't shy at the thought of calling himself crazy. (I also appreciated how the other characters pointed out his obvious and borderline self-congratulatory behaviour - his therapist telling John that he makes serial killers into something more special than they are, for example.)
However, once we got into parts that actually made John face his diagnosis in ways beyond his rules and shutting up about dead people, the narrative backed off and instead presented these wonderfully subtle moments of him acting on his disorder without spelling it out. And when it got back to spelling it out, well, John was kinda losing his marbles, so I was too weepy to care (and it was moreso John explaining to himself, not to us, so...I...yeah).
Also, dang it man, Wells talks so often and lovingly about John and (at least to me) it's obvious how much thought and work he put into him, even in the first book. I live 4 that stuff
I get that the ending was kinda leaving it half-open half-closed for the eventual sequels (one of which is staring at me from my ereader screen as I type), but even besides that, I found it such a satisfying relief from what I feared it would be. Thank you to incomplete closure! Thank you to things getting kinda worse, not better! Thank you to the COLOSSAL PARADE OF JOHN'S FUCK-UPS that made up the climax, because goddamn is it satisfying to see characters fail. (Which, coincidentally, is something that Wells & co. mention pretty often on the podcast, and I always kept that idea in my back pocket, but now I see just how deliciously maniacal and agonizing it is to actually write/read.)
All in all, the cleanliness and the age range (which I'm kinda guessing? thanks goodreads) made it feel a little too simple at times, but the fact that every little building block was placed so precisely and came back around to capital-M Matter made it still wholly satisfying. I was kinda irked by John in the beginning because of that YA heavy-handedness, but I'm lying if I say I'm not going to head into that sequel the next chance I get. And I will relish every monster and every genre-breaking twist that comes out of left field. show less
I came into this with few expectations beyond a prayer that I wouldn't have to awkwardly confess to myself that I didn't like the work of someone whose advice I'd been recording so diligently. So I'm very relieved and very pleased to report (to myself) that this was as structurally sound and clean as I expected from Dan-Wells-of-the-Good-Advice, but unexpectedly charming and touching with some really fascinating character work.
Firstly, because it's driving me insane to not address it: Wells spoiled the "twist" a couple times on the podcast, so I didn't get this apparently disengaging whiplash that a lot of other people had. I managed show more to find a friend who'd read John Cleaver and they told me that it seemed to come out of left field and they'd prefer it had been a human serial killer all along. Buuuuut, personally I think Wells couldn't have made a better decision. Another serial killer wouldn't have done much for John - he'd already done enough self-reflection by researching murderers, so to bring in another human would just rehash the exact foundation on which John is introduced and turn this into some battle-of-wits play. The demon aspect was worth it for the creativity and the exact quote that I added above. It would have been SO OBVIOUS to shove John in front of a mirror like "look this is what u are!!!!", but instead we got similar themes in much more agonizing ways: the monster was more human than John.
Moving on - I mentioned 'structurally sound' and holy shit, I don't think I can give that title to any other book ever again. This was so ridiculously clean. No pointless scenes, no excess lines, every emotional beat and plot reveal done with just the right tone and pace and tightness. That's helped by the relative simplicity of the plot (I was often a step or two ahead of John in the mystery, and I'm SO bad at solving mysteries), but not to its detriment. Where the plot (and extra characters) were things that you could summarize in a couple sentences, most of the focus went onto deconstructing John. Who was so neat, I'm sorry, John and his paraded sociopathy made my social-justice brain go into overdrive and self-destruct, BUT HE'S A KID I CAN CHERISH, OKAY.
Like, okay, I'll admit, the first half of the book handled his diagnosis with some heavy-handedness (which made it feel very YA to me? idk). At times the tone swerved hard into "lol hey guys, I'm just your AVERAGE EDGY WACKO" but I guess I'll excuse it because John was so very aware and had accepted it. Not in the way that he was happy about it, but that he knew there was no getting away from it and for the most part it was sorta Whatever, so he didn't shy at the thought of calling himself crazy. (I also appreciated how the other characters pointed out his obvious and borderline self-congratulatory behaviour - his therapist telling John that he makes serial killers into something more special than they are, for example.)
However, once we got into parts that actually made John face his diagnosis in ways beyond his rules and shutting up about dead people, the narrative backed off and instead presented these wonderfully subtle moments of him acting on his disorder without spelling it out. And when it got back to spelling it out, well, John was kinda losing his marbles, so I was too weepy to care (and it was moreso John explaining to himself, not to us, so...I...yeah).
Also, dang it man, Wells talks so often and lovingly about John and (at least to me) it's obvious how much thought and work he put into him, even in the first book. I live 4 that stuff
I get that the ending was kinda leaving it half-open half-closed for the eventual sequels (one of which is staring at me from my ereader screen as I type), but even besides that, I found it such a satisfying relief from what I feared it would be. Thank you to incomplete closure! Thank you to things getting kinda worse, not better! Thank you to the COLOSSAL PARADE OF JOHN'S FUCK-UPS that made up the climax, because goddamn is it satisfying to see characters fail. (Which, coincidentally, is something that Wells & co. mention pretty often on the podcast, and I always kept that idea in my back pocket, but now I see just how deliciously maniacal and agonizing it is to actually write/read.)
All in all, the cleanliness and the age range (which I'm kinda guessing? thanks goodreads) made it feel a little too simple at times, but the fact that every little building block was placed so precisely and came back around to capital-M Matter made it still wholly satisfying. I was kinda irked by John in the beginning because of that YA heavy-handedness, but I'm lying if I say I'm not going to head into that sequel the next chance I get. And I will relish every monster and every genre-breaking twist that comes out of left field. show less
I think my wife is a serial killer waiting to be unleashed on the world.
I had not heard of this novel but ran across a Powell’s Books author reading late last month by Dan Wells. I read a summary of his recent book and then scheduled appropriately to go and listen to him. Jenn went with me and whispered creepy serial killer/mass murderer stats in my ear.. it was disturbing how much she knew.. When Dan asked people to name 5 killers in order to win a t-shirt, she stayed quiet and named 14 under her breath. no one but the Author could compete with her, naming less than five, 2 of which Wells had used as examples……
please send the police after her FIRST if i ever drop off the radar (after she reads this, my stats will weigh against show more me.).. DO NOT enter our home, make sure to arrive with witnesses, and be careful if she offers you refreshments, it is a distraction tactic. Bring gelato if you plan on surviving..
so, the long –> short of it is that i bought a copy of I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER. Dan Wells scribbled his John Hancock into the cover and i went home.. I had some must reads already waiting that needed to be pushed through my brain machine before i could get to this.. How i waited nearly a month, i really do not know….. it was very, very good…
John Wayne Cleaver is a 15 year old boy in a small town. Overall he is a nice kid who just can’t find any connection to the people around him. he has only one friend and is a freak among his peers. He grew up in a family of morticians. He helps out around the house and business. John is an outcast because he firmly believes he will grow up to be a serial killer.
John does not WANT to be a serial killer, but he thinks that the universe has stacked the deck against him, starting with his name. His namesake is an actor who shares a name with a killer (c’mon pilgrim..). His father is Sam Cleaver, making him the Son of Sam. His last name is a tool for cutting meat.
Interestingly enough, the town John lives in has a new killer hanging around, killing people and leaving their bodies lying about with parts missing. John obsessively investigates the killer, attempting to determine his motives and methodologies. This is in part because of his interest in the subject matter, and in part because of his fear of joining the ranks.. the more he knows, the better prepared he will be.
This really was a great book. IANASK is a mild thriller, and a must read for anyone who has found themselves spending an afternoon reading through the Internet Crime Library or whiling away nights watching true crime shows on TV. Wells did a great job breaking down the mind of a killer and really leaves you mentally cheering for the 15 year old sociopath that is the main character. You know he could turn out to be a horrible person in a couple years, but hope for the best because really, his is just a great kid. classically misunderstood.
The book is portioned well, focusing on John’s internal struggle as much as his obsessions with finding and stopping the local killer.
It is a little gory in some spots, but not overly so.. of course, i could also be desensitized :).. ok, well, just assume that i am desensitized..
One of my favorite aspects of John Cleaver is that he has already identified character traits of his that make him fear for his future. He has created a series of rules that will help himself suppress these character traits. These rules are mandatory to keep himself from crossing over, they keep his darker side in check.. ignoring these rules and he threatens to unleash his darkness, self named “Mr. Monster”
Examples of his rules:
- To keep stalker qualities subdued, he avoids people for a full week if he finds he is taking too much interest in them. too many conversations and he cuts off contact. if he finds himself following them home, they get back burner’d.
- If he feels like doing bodily harm on someone, he should distract himself by being overly nice and saying nice things about them. Thinking and saying nice tings tends to push back the bad… you know the classic “Think Positive” motivational posters? He should have one tattooed on the back of his hand.
- He must hand out with Max, another outcast in his grade. having max as a friend makes him more normal. after all, sociopaths do not have friends, so having a friend combats his sociopathy.
The book is humorous and intense in all the right places.
If you pick this book up, let me know what you thought of the Halloween Dance chapter. It cracked me up enough that i read sections aloud to people who were uncomfortable with a large insistent bearded man enthusiastically reading aloud a book titled ‘I am not a serial killer’… don’t get why that would make people feel “off” but it apparently does :)
surprised that i still have a job considering the number of people who gave me uncomfortable looks on the elevator or in the break room.
This was book one in a trilogy, i am very interested to see how the characters in this series turn out. Mr Wells, Get to releasing the books.. NOW! if you need someone to read them in advance, i would gladly volunteer :) (hint hint) show less
I had not heard of this novel but ran across a Powell’s Books author reading late last month by Dan Wells. I read a summary of his recent book and then scheduled appropriately to go and listen to him. Jenn went with me and whispered creepy serial killer/mass murderer stats in my ear.. it was disturbing how much she knew.. When Dan asked people to name 5 killers in order to win a t-shirt, she stayed quiet and named 14 under her breath. no one but the Author could compete with her, naming less than five, 2 of which Wells had used as examples……
please send the police after her FIRST if i ever drop off the radar (after she reads this, my stats will weigh against show more me.).. DO NOT enter our home, make sure to arrive with witnesses, and be careful if she offers you refreshments, it is a distraction tactic. Bring gelato if you plan on surviving..
so, the long –> short of it is that i bought a copy of I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER. Dan Wells scribbled his John Hancock into the cover and i went home.. I had some must reads already waiting that needed to be pushed through my brain machine before i could get to this.. How i waited nearly a month, i really do not know….. it was very, very good…
John Wayne Cleaver is a 15 year old boy in a small town. Overall he is a nice kid who just can’t find any connection to the people around him. he has only one friend and is a freak among his peers. He grew up in a family of morticians. He helps out around the house and business. John is an outcast because he firmly believes he will grow up to be a serial killer.
John does not WANT to be a serial killer, but he thinks that the universe has stacked the deck against him, starting with his name. His namesake is an actor who shares a name with a killer (c’mon pilgrim..). His father is Sam Cleaver, making him the Son of Sam. His last name is a tool for cutting meat.
Interestingly enough, the town John lives in has a new killer hanging around, killing people and leaving their bodies lying about with parts missing. John obsessively investigates the killer, attempting to determine his motives and methodologies. This is in part because of his interest in the subject matter, and in part because of his fear of joining the ranks.. the more he knows, the better prepared he will be.
This really was a great book. IANASK is a mild thriller, and a must read for anyone who has found themselves spending an afternoon reading through the Internet Crime Library or whiling away nights watching true crime shows on TV. Wells did a great job breaking down the mind of a killer and really leaves you mentally cheering for the 15 year old sociopath that is the main character. You know he could turn out to be a horrible person in a couple years, but hope for the best because really, his is just a great kid. classically misunderstood.
The book is portioned well, focusing on John’s internal struggle as much as his obsessions with finding and stopping the local killer.
It is a little gory in some spots, but not overly so.. of course, i could also be desensitized :).. ok, well, just assume that i am desensitized..
One of my favorite aspects of John Cleaver is that he has already identified character traits of his that make him fear for his future. He has created a series of rules that will help himself suppress these character traits. These rules are mandatory to keep himself from crossing over, they keep his darker side in check.. ignoring these rules and he threatens to unleash his darkness, self named “Mr. Monster”
Examples of his rules:
- To keep stalker qualities subdued, he avoids people for a full week if he finds he is taking too much interest in them. too many conversations and he cuts off contact. if he finds himself following them home, they get back burner’d.
- If he feels like doing bodily harm on someone, he should distract himself by being overly nice and saying nice things about them. Thinking and saying nice tings tends to push back the bad… you know the classic “Think Positive” motivational posters? He should have one tattooed on the back of his hand.
- He must hand out with Max, another outcast in his grade. having max as a friend makes him more normal. after all, sociopaths do not have friends, so having a friend combats his sociopathy.
The book is humorous and intense in all the right places.
If you pick this book up, let me know what you thought of the Halloween Dance chapter. It cracked me up enough that i read sections aloud to people who were uncomfortable with a large insistent bearded man enthusiastically reading aloud a book titled ‘I am not a serial killer’… don’t get why that would make people feel “off” but it apparently does :)
surprised that i still have a job considering the number of people who gave me uncomfortable looks on the elevator or in the break room.
This was book one in a trilogy, i am very interested to see how the characters in this series turn out. Mr Wells, Get to releasing the books.. NOW! if you need someone to read them in advance, i would gladly volunteer :) (hint hint) show less
As a long-time fan of writing excuses, a writing podcast that Dan Wells and three other authors make every week, I decided it was high-time I read some of what these people who I had been taking advice from for so long wrote. I bought the John Cleaver series by Dan Wells, Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn trilogy, and a short story collection by Mary Robinette Kowal. This is the first of those books I’ve read, and so far I am not disappointed.
*Spoilers Ahead*
I had a feeling I would like this book, as I have always found serial killers pretty interesting. I was still hesitant though, because I have been burned before, *cough* Dexter. Speaking of Dexter, a lot of people are making comparisons between those books and these books. As much as show more that offends me, I can’t deny that it’s an apt comparison—they’re both told in first-person and feature sociopathic protagonists, though John Cleaver isn’t a killer yet and Dexter is, and both series add a supernatural element to the mix. The difference is that when Dexter added that supernatural element it was in book three of the series, and neither of the previous two books foreshadowed it at all. Also, it was stupid. Very, very stupid. Book three of Dexter was probably the most disappointing book I have ever read, and it soured me on the entire series. Jeff Lindsay is either an idiot that got extremely lucky twice, or he just lost his freaking mind when he wrote the third book.
The supernatural twist in I Am Not a Serial Killer, on the other hand, comes roughly halfway through the book, and it’s explicitly foreshadowed twice even earlier than that. It’s a good twist. The kind of twist that you figure out right before it happens. It was expertly done, and I found myself wanting to give Wells a standing ovation.
So yeah, this book isn’t really a serial killer book. It’s a book about a kid who may or may not become a serial killer at some point. He lacks empathy, is attracted to dead things, and knows a lot about serial killers—more than anyone in his town—and because of that he recognizes that the murders that have been happening lately don’t fit the pattern of either regular murder or serial killings, and winds up witnessing something supernatural because of his undue curiosity. That, to me, is way more interesting than the non-supernatural alternatives that the story could have taken, and I actually really like serial killer stories, so that’s saying something.
Bottom line—if you didn’t dig the supernatural element in this book, it’s not the book’s fault, it’s just you. I like fantasy. I like supernatural stuff. If you’re the type of person who only reads crime/mystery/thriller novels and you didn’t know that this book was supernatural going in, I could see how it would disappoint, but it’s well done. show less
*Spoilers Ahead*
I had a feeling I would like this book, as I have always found serial killers pretty interesting. I was still hesitant though, because I have been burned before, *cough* Dexter. Speaking of Dexter, a lot of people are making comparisons between those books and these books. As much as show more that offends me, I can’t deny that it’s an apt comparison—they’re both told in first-person and feature sociopathic protagonists, though John Cleaver isn’t a killer yet and Dexter is, and both series add a supernatural element to the mix. The difference is that when Dexter added that supernatural element it was in book three of the series, and neither of the previous two books foreshadowed it at all. Also, it was stupid. Very, very stupid. Book three of Dexter was probably the most disappointing book I have ever read, and it soured me on the entire series. Jeff Lindsay is either an idiot that got extremely lucky twice, or he just lost his freaking mind when he wrote the third book.
The supernatural twist in I Am Not a Serial Killer, on the other hand, comes roughly halfway through the book, and it’s explicitly foreshadowed twice even earlier than that. It’s a good twist. The kind of twist that you figure out right before it happens. It was expertly done, and I found myself wanting to give Wells a standing ovation.
So yeah, this book isn’t really a serial killer book. It’s a book about a kid who may or may not become a serial killer at some point. He lacks empathy, is attracted to dead things, and knows a lot about serial killers—more than anyone in his town—and because of that he recognizes that the murders that have been happening lately don’t fit the pattern of either regular murder or serial killings, and winds up witnessing something supernatural because of his undue curiosity. That, to me, is way more interesting than the non-supernatural alternatives that the story could have taken, and I actually really like serial killer stories, so that’s saying something.
Bottom line—if you didn’t dig the supernatural element in this book, it’s not the book’s fault, it’s just you. I like fantasy. I like supernatural stuff. If you’re the type of person who only reads crime/mystery/thriller novels and you didn’t know that this book was supernatural going in, I could see how it would disappoint, but it’s well done. show less
Rating: 3.5* of five
The Publisher Says: John Wayne Cleaver is dangerous, and he knows it.
He’s spent his life doing his best not to live up to his potential.
He’s obsessed with serial killers, but really doesn’t want to become one. So for his own sake, and the safety of those around him, he lives by rigid rules he’s written for himself, practicing normal life as if it were a private religion that could save him from damnation.
Dead bodies are normal to John. He likes them, actually. They don’t demand or expect the empathy he’s unable to offer. Perhaps that’s what gives him the objectivity to recognize that there’s something different about the body the police have just found behind the Wash-n-Dry Laundromat---and to show more appreciate what that difference means.
Now, for the first time, John has to confront a danger outside himself, a threat he can’t control, a menace to everything and everyone he would love, if only he could.
I RECEIVED AN ARC FROM THE PUBLISHER AT MY REQUEST. THANK YOU.
My Review: What a great idea! A kid comes to terms with being, well, different, and an adolescent doesn't entirely succeed in identifying how and why he is. The misunderstanding is perfectly logical, and rationally absurd. His personality traits are, and this is putting it mildly, DEPPLY disturbing and there is stuff that happens which, frankly, squicked me out. The reason I rate it as highly as I do is that I *got* why what happened to squick me out happened. I won't pursue the series as I don't want it to happen in front of me again.
I read this as an ARC in 2010 and apparently reviewed it somewhere/for someone I can't find. show less
The Publisher Says: John Wayne Cleaver is dangerous, and he knows it.
He’s spent his life doing his best not to live up to his potential.
He’s obsessed with serial killers, but really doesn’t want to become one. So for his own sake, and the safety of those around him, he lives by rigid rules he’s written for himself, practicing normal life as if it were a private religion that could save him from damnation.
Dead bodies are normal to John. He likes them, actually. They don’t demand or expect the empathy he’s unable to offer. Perhaps that’s what gives him the objectivity to recognize that there’s something different about the body the police have just found behind the Wash-n-Dry Laundromat---and to show more appreciate what that difference means.
Now, for the first time, John has to confront a danger outside himself, a threat he can’t control, a menace to everything and everyone he would love, if only he could.
I RECEIVED AN ARC FROM THE PUBLISHER AT MY REQUEST. THANK YOU.
My Review: What a great idea! A kid comes to terms with being, well, different, and an adolescent doesn't entirely succeed in identifying how and why he is. The misunderstanding is perfectly logical, and rationally absurd. His personality traits are, and this is putting it mildly, DEPPLY disturbing and there is stuff that happens which, frankly, squicked me out. The reason I rate it as highly as I do is that I *got* why what happened to squick me out happened. I won't pursue the series as I don't want it to happen in front of me again.
I read this as an ARC in 2010 and apparently reviewed it somewhere/for someone I can't find. show less
Fifteen-year-old John Wayne Cleaver, despite his inauspicious name, is not a serial killer. But he could be. He has all the hallmarks, up to and including a semi-official diagnosis as a sociopath, and he's pretty sure he'd really, really enjoy it. But even though his understanding that killing is wrong is only an intellectual one, he has decided that a killer is not who he wants to be. So he has rules -- quite reasonable and effective ones -- for diverting his thoughts and behaviors away from dangerously obsessive and violent channels. Until, that is, someone -- or something -- else starts killing people in the sleepy little town where lives, and he has to face the possibility of letting out his inner demons in order to fight an show more external one.
This is one of those books that I strongly suspect is, objectively, not nearly as good as I think it is. Because, yes, John's discussions of his internal states sometimes have something of a tell-don't-show quality to them, and, yes, it never quite reaches the intense heights of disturbing creepiness that it might have aspired to. But I really don't care, because the premise hooked me in very effectively, and I found John's psychology, his rules, and his choices genuinely fascinating. I also quite enjoyed the plot. It does feature some supernatural elements that, at first, felt very out of place to me, but I think what the author does with them ultimately works extremely well.
Apparently there are sequels forthcoming, which I will definitely be interested in reading. show less
This is one of those books that I strongly suspect is, objectively, not nearly as good as I think it is. Because, yes, John's discussions of his internal states sometimes have something of a tell-don't-show quality to them, and, yes, it never quite reaches the intense heights of disturbing creepiness that it might have aspired to. But I really don't care, because the premise hooked me in very effectively, and I found John's psychology, his rules, and his choices genuinely fascinating. I also quite enjoyed the plot. It does feature some supernatural elements that, at first, felt very out of place to me, but I think what the author does with them ultimately works extremely well.
Apparently there are sequels forthcoming, which I will definitely be interested in reading. show less
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ThingScore 88
"I liked I Am Not a Serial Killer. It wasn’t a perfect book but it was engaging and creepy while still managing to be sweet. "
added by r.orrison
Great pacing, a likable character, and a combination of horror and supernatural elements make this title in a new trilogy appealing.
added by Katya0133
[T]his deft mix of several genres features a completely believable teenage sociopath (with a heart of gold), dark humor, a riveting mystery and enough description of embalming to make any teen squeamish even if they won't admit it.
added by Katya0133
Lists
Pleasant Surprises: Books That Exceeded Our Expectations
418 works; 143 members
Books Read in 2023
5,547 works; 145 members
Cheesy pleasures and odd lots!
119 works; 7 members
Books Read in 2016
4,666 works; 199 members
Author Information
33+ Works 8,194 Members
Awards and Honors
Awards
Series
Work Relationships
Common Knowledge
- Canonical title
- I Am Not a Serial Killer
- Original title
- I Am Not a Serial Killer
- Original publication date
- 2009
- People/Characters
- John Wayne Cleaver; Max Bowen; Mrs. Cleaver; Dr. Neblin; Bill Crowley; Brooke Watson (show all 15); Kay Crowley; Lauren Bacall Cleaver; Aunt Margaret; Sam Cleaver; Jeb Jolley; Greg Olson; Ted Rask; Dave Bird; Roger Bowen
- Important places
- Clayton County
- Related movies
- I Am Not a Serial Killer (2016 | IMDb)
- Epigraph
- I should have been a pair of ragged claws / Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
- The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock - Dedication
- For Rob, who gave me the best incentive a little brother can give, he got published first.
- First words
- Mrs. Anderson was dead.
Nothing flashy, just old age—she went to bed one night and never woke up. They say it was a peaceful, dignified way to die, which I suppose is technically true, but the three days it took for ... (show all)someone to realize they hadn’t seen her in a while removed most of the dignity from the situation. Her daughter eventually dropped by to check on her and found her corpse three days rotted and stinking like roadkill. And the worst part isn’t the rotting, it’s the three days—three whole days before anyone cared enough to say, "Wait, where’s that old lady that lives down by the canal?" There’s not a lot of dignity in that. - Quotations
- Tiger, tiger, burning bright / In the forests of the night / What immortal hand or eye / Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
- Last words
- (Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)You'll never see us coming.
- Blurbers
- Wilson, F. Paul; Sanderson, Brandon
Classifications
Statistics
- Members
- 1,955
- Popularity
- 10,837
- Reviews
- 140
- Rating
- (3.67)
- Languages
- 7 — Czech, English, French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish
- Media
- Paper, Audiobook, Ebook
- ISBNs
- 28
- ASINs
- 13