Boundaries with Kids

I think this is one of those books that is going to take me a while to see if I actually liked it or not, depending on how well I remember its lessons, and how useful it is to implement them. It took me two months to get through a 223-page book, not a good sign in and of itself.

There feels like a lot good here, emphasizing not punishment, but boundaries with consequences. We don't need to yell at our kids, we don't need to make them feel bad. Kids are responsible for their own fun. Kids are NOT responsible for their parents' feelings, etc. Parents are responsible for setting boundaries and sticking to them. It is better not to have a boundary at all than to have a wishy-washy one that sometimes has consequences and sometimes doesn't. show more

At times I felt it was a bit too harsh. For example, I think assumptions that entitlement is always bad sets one up for a life to be made a doormat. Claims that someone feels they have earned what their boss has, or being "envious of the upper class" is someone being a classist themselves. Why do they only call it class warfare when we fight back? I also didn't like their referral too frequently to "real life" as if the life of young people is somehow fake. They also seem to make some harsh assumptions that childhood always ends the day they turn 18. While many lessons are universal there was no reference to homeschooling and seemed to assume your kids go to public school. show less

An excellent resource for parents attempting to raise their children to have proper discipline in life. The authors do quite well at explaining how the concept of boundary formation and maintenance assists children in learning how to grow up and function in a responsible and mature way in the world. The authors are believers in God and provide judicious use of quotations of Scripture.

The authors' explanation of how a lack of development proper boundaries in childhood leads to various challenges in adulthood is extremely illuminating and helps provide the "big picture" of parenting and what it is all about. The principles of maintaining firm boundaries while showing empathy for the challenges they provide for the child and also the show more distinction between hurt and harm are also quite beneficial.

Extremely good resource-- one that every parent should consider. show less

Here is the help you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend take you through the ins and outs of establishing boundaries in your parenting and instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives.

Learn how to:
- set limits and still be a loving parent
- bring control to an out-of-control family life
- apply the ten laws of boundaries to parenting
- define appropriate boundaries and consequences for your kids
...and much more.

Here is the help you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend take you through the ins and outs of establishing boundaries in your parenting and instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives.

Learn how to:
- set limits and still be a loving parent
- bring control to an out-of-control family life
- apply the ten laws of boundaries to parenting
- define appropriate boundaries and consequences for your kids
...and much more.

I was told to get this book by my lawyer during my divorce preceedings because it "looked good" in court. It never came up and I never read it...mainly because the therapist who helped me through that tough time did not like my lawyer's recommendation. She preferred "The Good Divorce" and "Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way". When it comes to my children, she seemed much more qualified in her recommendations than my lawyer. Both of those books are excellent.

A must have for parenting.

Martha Smith