Lucky Girl: A Memoir

One of the best things about reading a memoir is when it is a happy one. When the author has had a reasonably good life and has an even better attitude about it. It was refreshing to read a story about an adopted individual who a) knew all along she had been adopted as an infant, b) was actually okay with it, and c) had no desire to hunt down her birth family if only to ask "why did you give me up?" There was no malice, no repressed feelings of abandonment or resentment. Hopgood had adjusted well to life with midwest American parents and bore no hard feelings toward the Taiwan family who couldn't keep her. Hopgood's memoir instead focuses on how her life changes when her Chinese family not only seeks her, but pulls her into their world. show more As she reconnects with her heritage the core of who she is culturally comes to the surface. She gains a deeper understanding of what it means to be American, to have Chinese roots, to have more family than she knows what to do with. In the end there is an element of forgiveness as well..even though she didn't know she needed it. The honesty and humor that Hopgood writes with is delightful and the photographs are the perfect addition to an already enjoyable story. show less

Mei-Ling Hopgood was adopted from Taiwan as a baby- this is her memoir of reconnecting with her birth family two decades later. Unlike many adoptees Hopgood never really wanted to know more about her birth family. She happily embraced the culture of the American midwest, her adoptive parents, and her two brothers. As a young adult Hopgood discovered that her Chinese family had been looking for her. Unsure of what she was getting into, Hopgood dug deeper, and discovered she had a large family in Taiwan- birth parents, sisters, neices, nephews, and a brother. And so she met her birth family. After an exciting honeymoon period, Hopgood was confronted with a whole host of uncomfortable questions she had never anticipated. Her birth mother's show more submissiveness, her birth father's clear preference for sons over daughters. Coming to terms with these things is the substance of Hopgood's memoir. A written record of nearly ten years spent working out the complicated relationship with her Chinese family, Hopgood has written an engaging tale. There are many good memoirs concerning adoption and immigration issues. I'm not certain that Hopgood's offers much above and beyond the others, but is certainly a strong choice for those who wish to read such a memoir. Both well-written and compelling. show less

In 1974, a baby girl from Taiwan arrived in America, the newly adopted child of a loving couple in Michigan. Mei-Ling Hopgood had an all-American upbringing, never really identifying with her Asian roots or harboring a desire to uncover her ancestry. She believed that she was lucky to have escaped a life that was surely one of poverty and misery, to grow up comfortable with her doting parents and brothers.
Then, when she's in her twenties, her birth family comes calling. Not the rural peasants she expected, they are a boisterous, loving, bossy, complicated middle-class family who hound her daily life by phone, fax, and letter, in a language she doesn't understand until she returns to Taiwan to meet them. As her sisters and parents pull show more her into their lives, claiming her as one of their own, the devastating secrets that still haunt this family begin to emerge. Spanning cultures and continents, Lucky Girl brings home a tale of joy and regret, hilarity, deep sadness, and great discovery as the author untangles the unlikely strands that formed her destiny. show less

Lucky Girl is the enjoyable story of a normal, well-loved girl who discovers her birth family in her twenties. Two of my three children are adopted and I like to read other stories of adoption. I appreciated Mei-Ling Hopgood's experiences growing up racially different in Detriot, MI in the 70's and 80's. I also loved how she vividly conveyed the culture of China and Taiwan when she went back to visit her new-found family. I only hope I can encourage my kids to seek answers to their questions as openly and with as much love as Mei-Ling's mom, Chris! Worth reading.

Lucky Girl is a memoir about what it's like to have been adopted and to be able to go back and attempt to rejoin one's birth family, and especially what it's like to have two families from such different cultures and classes. The story isn't so much about China or America specifically, but about family.

It was an interesting read, which I finished in 2 days - much more quickly than some others I've been pushing myself to finish recently, so I can't say that I didn't enjoy reading it. I do think that it was a bit uneven, though, when it came to some of the family-history revelations. Sometimes, it seemed like Mei-Ling wanted to add drama to the narrative with the revelations, the same way she learned of them, but then she undercuts it by show more having revealed the details earlier in the book.

I actually found it a little harder to identify with Mei-Ling's American family than her Chinese birth family, because while I expected to have very little in common with the Wangs, whereas the Hopgoods were advertised as All-American, and how could I not be familiar with that, due to television and books and so on? But I found that with the family drama and large number of siblings, the Wang family felt more real to me - even if life in rural Taiwan is very, very different to my life in Florida. But the Hopgood family were depicted through rose-colored nostalgia and was a little too All-American and a little too good to be true, though I understand that this is partly due to the way Mei-Ling was trying to underscore the differences in her two families, partly due to grief for her recently deceased father, and partly because (as she tells us in the book) she spent most of her life rejecting her birth heritage and trying to be as All-American as she could be.

Overall, though, I'm glad I spent the time reading the book, and I think that if you are interested in this kind of memoir, it's definitely worth a try. I'm probably not the best reader for it!

(Note: there are references to infanticide and child neglect, due to the Confucian society, which also means plenty of misogyny. I feel that it's big enough that it warrants a trigger warning.) show less

When’s the last time you read a memoir about someone who just has an interesting story? Someone whose life was not screwed up by tragic illness, crazy parents, or drug addiction? *Waits* Okay, it has been awhile for me too. Now, I like many of those memoirs, but they can get to be too much. Sometimes you need a break from the scope of human tragedy, especially if that tragedy devolves into ‘why me?’ complaining and blame passing. “Lucky Girl” is, in my opinion, a cure for those who have over-indulged in the tragic/victim memoir.

Mei-Ling Hopgood was born in Taiwan in the 1970s and adopted by an American couple in Michigan. A few years later, their family was enlarged by first one than another young boy adopted from Korea. show more Despite not having a large Asian-American community in their immediate vicinity, Mei-Ling and her brothers grew up remarkably well-adjusted. They loved their parents, got along well as a family, and never really dwelt on their birth families.

After reconnecting with the nun who made her adoption possible, Mei-Ling decides to go ahead and make an inquiry about her birth family at the hospital in which she was born. Imagine her surprise when she discovers her birth family has been looking for her for years and when she begins getting calls from her sisters, along with offers from her father to fly her to Taiwan to meet them and celebrate New Years with them. Mei-Ling has a bit of a wild ride in meeting her birth family, with her submissive mother, domineering (and son-obsessed) father, and her numerous sisters dying to both get to know and shield her from family secrets.

I really enjoyed “Lucky Girl.” For one thing, it was fascinating watching Mei-Ling so successfully bridge two cultures. Part of that is the fact that her parents, although Anglo, were conscientious about raising her and her brothers with as much of their birth cultures as possible. Part of it was also simply Mei-Ling’s attitude. Yes, she wanted to learn more about her birth family, yes it was often very difficult dealing with this family who agreed to let her go so many years ago, yes she had tragedy in her life in both families. Never, though, did she seem to find herself a victim of her circumstances. She might feel pain and sadness, but she was always looking to make things work, or to figure out what was necessary for her own well-being and sanity.

I would definitely recommend “Lucky Girl” for those interested in Taiwan, adoption, bridging of cultures, or for those who simply need the antidote to the ‘what a tragedy’ memoir. show less

A very interesting memoir about a young women, adopted as a baby from Taiwan, who is practically thrown together with her birth family in her early twenties. Mei-Ling uses her journalism training to find out more about her birth family and their secrets and because of it, isn't afraid to ask the hard questions of her birth parents and her biological sisters. I recommend this book especially for those interested in the adoption triad and first family reunions.