Homes and Other Black Holes

Dave Barry's short, humorously useless 1988 guide to home-buying and home-ownership.

I find Dave Barry less side-splittingly funny now than I used to back in the day. Maybe that's just because having read approximately a gazillion of his books, his humor has become a little over-familiar. Still, this one did make me chuckle out loud a few times. And it made me remember how glad I am not to be buying a new house and moving any time soon. Or, if I can help it, at all. Ever.

This books is an illustrated close look at many aspects of homeownership, from looking at houses to lawn care. Dave Barry mercilessly distorts very familiar situations you will recognize, for the sake of amusement. With a useless "Index". (Under "Death, Penis" you discover that a rock band provides T-shirts to your workmen festooned, with photographs, of Death Penis? Who knew?)

First words: "The desire to own a home of one's own has been a part of human nature ever since that fateful moment, millions of years ago, when our earliest ancestors climbed down out of their trees and moved into their very first caves. It was a major moment in history, and its glory was dimmed only slightly by the fact that their furniture did not arrive for show more another 250,000 years."

Sample quote: "If God had wanted us to spend all our time fretting about the problems of homeownership, He would never have created beer."

Illustrated by Jeff MacNelly (creator of "Shoe" and "Skyler"): Drawing of homeowner in the aisle of a hardware store gazing at the labels on parts on sale racks--"Friggins", "Nibben Rims", "Barfits", "Weasel Pins", "Narndle bolts", "Metric Fimble Dampers", and of course, "Crudgins". show less

Honestly, it is almost like shooting fish in a barrel to write a humor book about the process of selling your home, buying a new one, and moving. It's a process rife with annoyances and such annoyances are a great basis for humor.

That said, this book is very brief. It has some funny, laugh out loud moments. Not that many, but some. It's not especially original or creative or anything, but if you like Dave Barry it's a fun little read. He's written better.

One of my favorite passages is one where Barry makes fun of Architectural Digest where he claims a typical article reads as follows:

"The owners - he, a prominent industrialist neurosurgeon and president of four major investment firms: she, a bestselling novelist and Queen of Belgium - show more knew exactly what they wanted when they decided to build the Villa de Mucho Simoleons. "We wanted," they said, in unison, "the kind of informal and inviting home where we could entertain our friends, and if we felt like it, play polo in the foyer."

And on moving being harder than bearing children:

"You take Couple A, who just had a baby, and Couple B, who just moved their household, and if you keep track of them, you'll find that years from now, when Couple A's baby has grown up, left home, and started a family, Couple B will still be rooting through boxes full of wadded-up newspaper, looking for the lid to their Mr. Coffee. Also, during childbirth, when things go wrong, trained professionals give you powerful drugs. Nobody is ever this thoughtful during a move."

So amusing (to me and probably anyone who has actually moved a household). show less

A fun little book, hitting just close enough to the real horrors of house buying and owning that we can laugh a knowing laugh.

Do NOT get rid of this book! Even though it's a bit dated, and some of Dave's humor... is kinda hard to get, this is a MUST read the next time you contemplate moving. My wife and I have moved three times in our marriage... and each time we fervently vow it will be the last. We read this book together for a little comedy.. and it helps.

The author has experience purchasing, owning, and selling a home but puts none of it in this book, instead using his experiences as a flimsy tent for airplane food jokes. "Rap music makes you dumb" (paraphrased from page 150) - jeez, that joke was bad even in 1995 when this book was written, and it certainly hasn't aged well.

Bought this originally for my parents just after they finished building their home. I read it recently and found it funny and sarcastic. As a homeowner myself, now, I could really relate to it!