Until the Real Thing Comes Along

It's the recipe for ultimate disappointment - being in love with your best friend who happens to be gay. I found myself feeling impatient with Patty - professing to want a husband and babies so very badly but being completely fixated on the idea that only her gay friend, Ethan, will do in the role of building a family. Really this novel is about the experiment the two decide to conduct - maybe they can make it work, since they both really want a baby. It is only when reality sets in that Patty finally comes to some kind of resolution about both her relationship with Ethan, and her perpetual longings.

This book fits into the "too close for comfort" shelf so well I had to create one just for it. Now, I may not have a gay best friend that I'm in love with, or do a ridiculously poor job of selling houses, but the baby-craving to absurd levels (as in "maybe you should stop staring at other people's children before someone calls the cops on you" levels)? Hell yeah: I'm right there.

And Berg is one of my favorite authors, and she tackles the subject maybe a little bit too well, because the book made me uncomfortable. I did not want to find out how Patty solved her problems, mostly because I knew it would not be a solution applicable to my problems. Also, Patty's ability to shield herself from things she doesn't want to recognize (they are show more too long and spoiler-ish to list here, but trust me, as a reader you see them coming from miles away & a few of those plot points were also uncomfortably close to my own experiences dealing with family and friends) was, perhaps, also a little bit too close to the bone for me.

Usually, seeing characters I can relate to is what reading is all about for me, but, as much as I enjoy Berg's writing style and her ability to describe things in concise and apt ways - "I always thought I'd have five or six children, and I have imagined so many lovely domestic scenes featuring me and my offspring. Here we are outside on a hot summer day, running through the sprinkler, The children wear bright fluorescent bathing suits in pink and green and yellow; I wear cutoffs and a T-shirt. There is fruit salad in the refrigerator. Later, I will let the older ones squirt whipped cream for the younger ones; then, if they pester me enough in the right way, I'll let them squirt it into their mouths - and mine." - I almost couldn't finish the book, it was that bad. Melancholy mood to begin with, add a dose of (much too realistic) fiction, and even one of my favorite authors gets a bad rating, unfortunately. show less

From the book jacket: What do you do when your life isn’t living up to your dreams? When the man you love is unavailable, and yet you long for a family, a home? What is the cost of compromising until the real thing comes along?

My reactions
I really wanted to like this. I’ve read a number of Berg’s books and liked them all. She has a gift for dialogue and for letting the reader into her character’s lives and motivations. But …

Patty’s constant wishy-washy attitudes, her complete inability to move on with her life just irritate the heck out of me. I didn’t care what happened to her in her sad little life.

I WAS interested in the story with her parents, and wish Berg had explored that storyline rather than Patty’s show more non-existent fantasy love life. show less

Like I do with most Bergs, I read this in one day. Her poignant, feel-it-in-your-spine observations were thick on the page, as they are in all of her books. I was especially touched by the descriptions of babies as the main character struggled with singleness and the ticking of her biological clock. I was less thrilled with
her solution to the problem (becoming pregnant by her gay ex-lover). It was an interesting idea, and the author is honest about the emotional difficulties involved, but it just didn't resonate
with me, and I didn't want her to go through with it. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the book, and Ms. Berg certainly didn't miss her mark with her trademark raw, emotional descriptions that make you
realize that you've thought the same show more thing your whole life but just never thought to put it exactly that way. show less

Splendid writing! I loved the writing and felt as though I was right there in the room listening to the conversation. It's not an action book or a mystery, although there is some level of mystery, if you will, concerning what is going to happen in the lives of the people. This is a very realistic slice of life, told with real talent and humor by the author.

Originally, this book was slow and boring, but as the characters developed I was drawn into the story of Patti who loved Ethan who was gay who loved Patti but not in the way she needed and of Patti's father who loveed his wife who develops alzheimers and thus is no longer able to love him as she originally did before her mind was taken from her.

While at first this seemed to be a light, breezy kind of read, it truly is a book filled with incredible poignancy and understanding of the trite but true phrase "the meaning of love."

Not my favorite Berg book, but the way she writes dialogue saved it for me. The story-line wasn't all that captivating but some of the dialogue was delicious. I particularly liked the bits with Patty's parents and with real estate clients of hers (the Berkenheimers), both couples that have been together for eons, their love love for each other shining through the bickering or nattering of day-to-day life. Had Patty and Ethan been as vivid for me, I would probably enjoyed the book a lot more. Still, it was a easy reading book for a quiet Sunday, and it will do, until the real thing comes along.