Remember Me: A Lively Tour of the New American Way of Death

I've just finished breezing through "Remember Me" by Lisa Takeuchin Cullen, one of the more entertaining reads I've had this summer. There's nothing like poring over pages about death and funerals on a bright sunny day. Who would have though it would be so good? Yeah, neither did I.

"Remember Me" is a light, very tasteful take on how funerals, death, and life, are celebrated in America. The author, from a short assignment in Time, was inspired to continue with her journey around America and discover how the "endtertainment" or "aftercare" industry meets the varying demands of grieving Americans today. Suddenly, mourning at the chapel does not suffice anymore. Enter the new breed of people who prefer to celebrate their loved ones' lives: show more from ballroom dancing parties, to "green" burials, to mummification, to turning cremains to diamonds, it seems that America is changing the way they let their loved ones go.

The book is enjoyable as it is informative. Cullen has enlightened me on the subject that I hoped not to delve on any time soon. However, it was an absolute joy to read page after page and I've been recommending it to everyone I know. show less

The book starts off well enough with an interesting concept of a biodegradeable body-in-a-pod burial in a wood of deciduous trees. It has some other nice ideas - having your ashes cast in concrete with a brass plaque attached and dumped on a reef for the fishes to carouse around. But in between these and one or two other nice ideas the writing is tedious and has TMI on the author and her child, and finally, and tragically on a situation in her own family.

Not too long after I read this book my mother died. Three days after she died, we held a traditional Jewish burial (it is usually next day, but they allowed me time to get back to the UK). Her body was wrapped in a shroud of white cotton sewn with no knots and placed in a plain wooden show more coffin with holes drilled in the bottom so that it would be 'earth to earth'. At the conclusion of the prayers all the men put a shovelful of earth onto my mother's coffin until it was covered. To hear the first clod of earth was very hard. There were no floral tributes, that isn't a Jewish tradition. Later, at the house, for seven days, were prayers and food brought in and people visiting at all hours. Eleven months later, her gravestone was dedicated and laid.

A year later my niece died of cancer of the womb, leaving a son who was four the following week. A week after her death, she was buried in her favourite dress in a wicker basket under an oak tree in a cemetery after a humanist ceremony. Donations to charity were requested, in lieu of flowers. Afterwards, there was a small and sad party, food, drink and remembrances of our dear girl.

Shortly afterwards, they say things come in threes, don't they, one of my several-generations-older brothers-in-law died.

He was a West Indian of some note, so it was a huge funeral with tv cameras and photographers and a marquee to shade those who couldn't get into the Church. My brother-in-law's body had been embalmed ten days ago after he died. He was made-up to look just asleep and was dressed in his best suit and put on show in a sateen-lined casket in the Church where we all filed past with our floral tributes. At the graveyard, the coffin was placed into the ground and we dropped onto the casket the purple ribbons we had tied around our upper arms. There was much singing of joyful hymns of 'going home', swinging and swaying and trying not to cry.

Then one by one, all of the men, and some of the women took the spade to fill the hole and more, to pile it high with the dirt covered with the funeral flowers. When the earth sinks to nearly the level of the ground, a gravestone will be laid. Later, there were refreshments for all, and later still a buffet for the family, with take-home boxes for those that couldn't attend. A West Indian funeral is an all-day affair.

Three different traditions. The book only covered the bare bones of the death industry when it could have explored far more. It was adequate, but contrasting it to Jessica Mitford's ground-breaking [b:The American Way of Death|525561|The American Way of Death|Jessica Mitford|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nocover/60x80.png|1839053] it was just too flimsy. A good popculture read for those that like non-fiction, I enjoyed it, but it wasn't anything special. show less

This work failed to live up to his subtitle. There was nothing "lively" about this book. It lacked cohesiveness. The author is a journalist who uses far too much verbiage to arrive at a point. The author even misspelled the name of a long-time Tennessee senator, and her editors failed to catch the problem. If you are interested in some of the topics covered, skip the book and read a magazine article.

Fascinating look at different ways we have of remembering our loved ones after death. From ocean reef to diamonds. How do you want to be remembered?

Lisa looks at several different types of funerals and burials, including the artificial reefs made of concrete with a loved ones ashes added to the mix; ashes spread by plane into the ocean; ashes turned to diamonds. Cryogenics and plastination will keep the body and maybe help humanity in the future, alone with mummification that is supposed to keep the body for eternity. An interesting book.

Not deep (see Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' work for that), not radical (Jessica Mitford does a good job there) but fun. Just fun. Thanks for the fun.