Big Red Lollipop

When Rubina is invited to a classmate's birthday party, she is thrilled - until her mother insists that she bring her little sister Sana along. Deaf to her explanations that this just isn't done, Ami insists: either Rubina brings Sana, or she doesn't go herself. Predictably, the results are disastrous: Sana misbehaves at the party, throwing a temper tantrum whenever she doesn't win at the games, and - having gobbled down all the treats in her own goody-bag - eats Rubina's lollipop, carefully saved as a indulgence for later. Rubina's anger at this theft, and her protests about its unfairness, are met with a lecture about sharing, while Sana's rudeness at the party, which ensures that her older sister doesn't receive any further show more invitations, is never addressed. When Sana herself is confronted with a similar situation, a few years later, and Ami insists that little Maryam be taken along to a party, what will Rubina do...?

Reading the online reviews for Big Red Lollipop, and seeing the almost universal praise heaped upon it - encomiums to its message of forgiveness, commentary on its narrative of values, whether conflicted, because this is an immigrant story, or universal, because this is family dynamics writ large - I was struck yet again by how out of step I often feel, when it comes to the larger society around me. While I agree that forgiveness - as witnessed by Rubina's decision to speak up for Sana, and by her acceptance of Sana's peace offering, at the end - is both desirable and laudable, so too are limitations, discipline and fairness. All three of which seem signally absent from Khan's narrative, and from her parental model, which, whatever the author's intention with her conclusion, is what really stood out to me.

It simply amazes me that so few reviewers are struck by the fact that the conflict here is driven, not by what Ami tells Rubina to do, but by what she doesn't tell Sana to do. She never tells her that she has to behave well, when a guest in someone else's home, and she never tells her that it is wrong to be greedy, and take all of a treat, leaving nothing for anyone else. It really discourages me to see some reviewers putting this behavior down to differing values in the Pakistani-Canadian community, as I think that: 1) many parents of younger children would insist, or at least encourage, their offspring to include one another in special events (my own parents certainly did this), and 2) while there are few truly universal values, I suspect that courtesy to a host, and the obligations created by hospitality, would be among those few.

I suppose one could read this as a "making lemonade from lemons" kind of tale: sometimes life is just unfair (as are parents), and there's nothing really to be done but make the best of it. But this is a second-best kind of solution: if life is unfair kids, just be NICE! Be FORGIVING! And above all: DON'T PROTEST! How I would have loathed that very Victorian sentiment, as a girl...

NOTE: the two stars here are for Sophie Blackall's gorgeous artwork, which I gave short shrift to in the review above. They're definitely worth checking out, for their own sake, and fully deserved the praise they won, including getting Big Red Lollipop chosen as one of The New York Times Best Illustrated Children's Book for 2010. show less

Rubina has been invited to her first birthday party. She is SO EXCITED...until her mother, Ami, says she has to take her fussy little sister Sana along. Ami just doesn't understand how birthday parties work! It's not much fun with Sana along, but the worst thing happens after they get home with their party favors. A long time later, it's Sana's turn to be invited...and now Ami says she has to take the littlest sister, Maryam, along. What will Rubina do?
There are several reasons this is an outstanding story. First, it's a universal theme that children will recognize and understand, although it's not one often seen in picturebooks. The absolute, helpless anger at an adult who just doesn't understand is so, so perfect. I think every child show more will recognize that frustration and every adult can remember a time when they felt those emotions. The clash between siblings, the older child who feels the younger one is getting away with everything, and Rubina's struggle to decide whether or not she'll help Sana, are all sympathetically and realistically portrayed. Finally, I was glad to see the realistic consequences of Sana's attendance at the party - Rubina doesn't get any invitations "for a really long time." Contrary to all those happy multicultural books, where a student from another culture is first mocked for their strangeness, and then accepted without difficulty....Khan says it like it is; kids are the ultimate conformists and they don't generally like different. Rubina's fellow students don't become fascinated by Pakistani family structure, they don't flock around her begging to know about her family; they avoid her. Rubina has to learn how to reconcile the different cultures she is part of - her family and her school - on her own.
Sometimes I'm a fan of Sophie Blackall's art and sometimes I'm not. Here, I definitely am. The energy and movement of her round-faced children, their excited, angry, hurt, happy expressions, and the changing perspectives are the perfect complement to Khan's text.

Verdict: A beautifully nuanced story with elements that will resonate with a wide range of children of different ages and experiences. The basic plot will draw in younger children in a storytime atmosphere, but this book is also an excellent story to give to older elementary children. Recommended for children dealing with different cultures at home and at school, for children with siblings, and for anyone who's ever been frustrated that someone just doesn't understand. show less

As the older of two sisters, I not only loved this, but totally identified with the main character--a little girl whose mom makes her take her li'l sis to a friend's birthday party. Ugh, Mom! Why?!

The mom in this story actually doesn't know about the custom of celebrating birthdays in the United States, which should be an intriguing point for most young American readers. Some people don't celebrate birthdays? Really?

The central conflict in this occurs when the middle sister eats most of the oldest sister's birthday party lollipop. The illustrations hilariously show the angry chase that ensues, culminating in the oldest sister throwing the lollipop under the couch in frustration. Then the middle sister fishes it out and eats the rest. show more Gross! Funny!

In a move not often seen in picture books, the story elapses over an entire year (maybe two--we see the youngest sister grow up noticeably) which allows us to see the development of the characters. When the middle sister is told she has to take the youngest to a birthday party, you'll be surprised what happens.

A fantastic book about fairness, maturity, and sibling relations. show less

I have to admit that I nearly tossed this book aside in fury about 3/4 of the way through. Glad I didn't, because all of my issues were resolved in a very good way.

Rubina is so excited when she's invited to a birthday party, but her mother, unfamiliar with American birthday customs, makes her take her little sister Sana along too, and Sana ruins everything - even the lollipop in the goody bag that Rubina was saving. When, a year or two later, Sana herself comes home from school with exciting news, Ami says that she has to take her sisters Rubina and Maryam along too. "Leave me out of it," Rubina says. She thinks about letting her sister repeat her own experience, but ultimately steps in to intervene on Sana's behalf. Sana is allowed to go to the party by herself, and when she returns, she has a present for Rubina - a big green lollipop.

The girls and their mother have very light brown skin; Ami show more wears a headscarf. show less

I liked this book for three reasons. First, the illustrations were entertaining and each action described through the text was shown in a matching illustration. For example, on pages 16 and 17 Rubina is chasing Sana around the house because Sana has eaten her lollipop. The dialogue reads, "Quick as a rat, she scoots through my legs and runs around and around the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, yelling, "Ami! Ami! Help! Help!" The illustration covers both pages and shows most of the house. Throughout the picture, you can see Rubina chasing Sana through each area of the house with black streaks trailing behind the girls to show their motion. In the illustrations, you can see the action as well as the emotion on both girls' show more faces. Rubina has an angry look on her face and Sana looks frightened. Next, I enjoyed the plot of the story as it promotes acceptance and deals with the common problem of jealousy between siblings as they grow up. Rubina was embarrassed by the fact that she had to bring her little sister Sana to a party. Rubina believed that bringing Sana to the party caused her not to be invited to any more parties that year. When Sana was faced with a similar situation, Rubina urged her mother to let Sana attend the party without their youngest sister. Rubina wanted to save Sana the embarrassment that she felt. Lastly, the writing in "Big Red Lollipop" was paced well and engaging. The pages did not seem cluttered and the action described in the text of each page fits perfectly with the illustrations. For example, two pages show a conversation between Sana and Rubina. The text reads, "Sana runs to the fridge and brings back the triangle stuck to the stick. "Look! I didn't eat all of your lollipop! I left the triangle for you!" This bit of dialogue is preceded by a picture of Sana handing the lollipop to Rubina. Under this bit of text is another illustration with a short line of dialogue that follows. The broken up writing gives the reader time to visualize the action even without the illustrations that tell the story. The underlying message of this book is one of self-sacrifice and empathy. Rubina did not want Sana to go through the embarrassment she felt so she stuck up for Sana when she was faced with the same problem of bringing her little sister to a friend's party. Instead of being spiteful and allowing Sana to deal with a similar fate, Rubina stepped in and saved her from the embarrassment. show less

Great story about sisters and a family from another culture learning about how Americans celebrate birthday's. The ink and watercolor illustrations by Sophie Blackall are absolutely lovely and wonderfully detailed. My favorite part of the book is the overall message of family and that, while life has difficult situations, siblings are a special relationship. It also shows the maturity of the sister, instead of feeling like everything has to be "fair" all the time, she learns real love and compassion and ultimately how to be friends with her little sister.