Ghost of a Chance

There are books that disappointed me. There have been books that I’ve torn to shreds in my criticism. There have been books that made me physically angry. There’s only been one that I’ve actually thrown at a wall. (The other book I wanted to chuck across the room, I couldn’t because I was reading store merchandise.)

This book holds the honor of creating the rectangle indentation in my wall.

The writing is terrible. I couldn’t think it possible to pad out 260 pages, but this guy managed it. It’s repetitive, boring, and abuses adverbs. The world-building is INSANELY weak—I have no idea what the hell these institutes do, aside from ghost-busting. Oh, and there’s telepaths, but nothing’s described aside from going into show more trances and have telepathic blast battles. While the plot had some potential, it’s underdeveloped and feels like a cheap rip-off of better books/movies/etc. There are only two locations in the entire book, which I’m assuming he thought up the one and didn’t want to bother writing about anywhere else. The action scenes are lazy. THE CHARACTERS. Oh my Lord, I could go on forever about them. Our main trio is nothing but a collection of clichés—the quiet nerd who’s secretly kinky, the douchebag smooth talker and the paranoid grump. None of them do anything worthwhile, and there’s no attempt made by the author to make them connect to the reader. The villains are a complete joke. When your self-described ‘femme fatale’ shows up wearing a PINK LEATHER CATSUIT and keeps talking about how “Daddy’s bad little girl is going to have fun,” she’s not threatening, she’s a joke. Her creepster partner is no better. Also, the “I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours” scene between the villains is a complete rip-off of every James Bond-inspired gadget listing that manages not to be funny and only serves to pad because most of the gadgets (including the infamous pre-loaded incantation iPod) don’t even figure into the plot.

The point where I threw the book with great force was when the Douchebag smooth talker falls in insta-love with a ghost girl who’s being tormented by the forces of Evil. And then he gets a Heavenly power-up. No. Fuck this book.

Oh, by the way, I flipped to the end just to see what the deal was—Fenris is apparently the Big Bad. And the last line is Douchebag asking the Ghost Girl if she can transform herself into a sexy nurse. show less

I really love Simon Green's Nightside and also liked the first book in his Secret Histories Series (the only one I have read in that series so far). So when I heard he was starting a new paranormal series called Ghost Finders, I was eager to read the first book in the series. Overall it was okay, Green has created an interesting world but the characters were a bit cliche and hard to distinguish. I was hoping for more, but what was here is a start.

The book follows two teams of "ghost-hunters". The first is the Carnacki Institute, the good guys. There team consists of JC Chance (a prodigy hunter), Melody Chambers (a woman very focused on her technology) and Happy Jack Palmer (a pill popping telepath). The second team are the Crowley show more Project (The evil team); this team features a La Femme Nakita kind of telepath and a psychotic surgeon. JC's team are called on to help solve a problem in London's Underground. The trains down there have gone wrong and are eating people. When JC and team arrive they find that something more evil than they could imaging has taken root. The Crowley Project is also there to try and harness the evil for their own purposes.

Let's start with what I liked. Green does a great job with imagery and comes up with a lot of interesting and creative ideas. He's not afraid to delve deep in the macabre and that makes things entertaining. This book was a bit creepy and horrific, but never went into that "too scary to read" region for me. Overall I liked the general idea of the characters and how the Carnacki Institute team was full of "good guys" with some bad vices. This series is a good idea and this book an interesting start.

Unfortunately this book really fell flat in a couple places for me. The characters are overly characterized and come off as clownish at times, which makes it hard to take the story seriously. The dialogue between them occasionally gets campy to the point of painfulness. There were a few times I wished one of the good guys would get eaten. It also drove me nuts that JC Chance fell in love at first sight with that ghost lady. It happened so suddenly and was so improbable that it was irritating; then to have his love for this ghost drive so much of the plot...well it pretty much drove me nuts.

Overall this was not one of Green's best works. I would start with the Nightside series and then move on to the Secret Histories series before reading this one. That being said Green does set-up an interesting idea, world and characters in this book...the characters were just a bit too campy to pull it off. I will probably read the next book in the series just because I found some of the things Green did in this book intriguing. I am hoping that the next book does a better job with the characters and has a more believable plot. show less

I had previously bought and read Ghost of a Chance, the first Ghost Finders novel, not because I had read Simon R. Green's Drood or Nightside series, but because I spotted the words 'Carnacki Institute' on the back cover. I've been a fan of William Hope Hodgson's Carnacki, the Ghost Finder since I read 'The Gateway of the Monster' and 'The Whistling Room' in anthologies decades ago.

My mental ears pricked up when the Hog was mentioned, because that supernatural monster comes from another Carnacki story, 'the Hog'. Using the term 'abhuman' instead of 'inhuman' is a thing Thomas Carnacki did.

A big difference between this Ghost Finders novel and one from Secret Histories or the Nightside is that Mr. Green is not telling the story in first show more person, but third person. J C (Josiah Charles) Chance, Melody Chambers, and Happy Jack Palmer are described for us instead of letting us get to know them through one character's eyes. Yes, the Carnacki stories are technically in third person because we're getting them from one of the friends he invites to hear about his latest adventure. However, when Carnacki is telling them, he uses first person. I wish Mr. Green had done that here. We are given the names and hints about previous cases this team has handled. They sounded interesting.

The Crowley Project was a bit of a puzzle for me because the book states that it has been opposed to the Carnacki Institute for centuries. Thomas Carnacki is a fictional character and one could easily suppose that he was following in the footsteps of a long line of ancestral ghost finders. Aleister Crowley was a real person who lived from 1875 to 1947. 'Do What Thou Wilt' is indeed what he preached. He might have been called the wickedest man in the world in his day, but compared to mass murderers such as Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Pol Pot, his sexcapades were nothing. Fortunately, we learn later that the project has changed its name several times. So has the Carnaki Institute, which has existed since the time of Queen Elizabeth I.

The book starts with J. C. and team handling a haunting in a supermarket car park (British for 'parking lot') in Bath. The haunting turns out to be worse than they suspected.

It was fun to find out that neither team is considered an A list team by their respective employers. The Carnacki team has been dispatched to find out what's going on in one of the Underground (British for 'subway') tunnels. The Crowley team has a simpler objective: kill the Carnacki team, especially J. C.

What's going on in that underground is deeply dangerous and the fate of that one train's riders was nightmare fodder. So was that type of vampire I don't recall encountering anywhere else.
In fact, the danger makes the first chapter's case seem tame and that case was scary. show less

The Carnacki Institute of London—secretly located within the walls of Buckingham Palace—is to ghosts what Torchwood is to aliens (with a little of the Talamasca Caste thrown in). Their job is to protect the Queen’s country and people from the things that go bump in the night, and also to study them and gather knowledge of the arcane.

Ghost of a Chance is the first in a new series by popular author, Simon R. Green and begins with an incredibly creepy prologue. Let’s just say, I started this book around 1 a.m. and it didn’t take long for me to get unnerved (but a good kind of unnerved.)

“There are such things as ghosts whether you believe in them or not. Tapping on your window late at night, waiting patiently to be noticed at show more the foot of your bed, stubbornly refusing to lie down.” (pg. 2-3)

If that’s not a good set up for what’s to come, I don’t know what is. The opening scene takes us to the lovely Georgian city of Bath, and provides an outstanding build up for the majority of this fast-paced novel which takes place in London’s Underground (which if I ever get to visit, will now induce a creepy sensation lol).

I adore the main three characters (JC, Melody and Happy). They are real, flawed and their banter was fantastic. I caught myself laughing out loud on a good many occasions due to their witty trading of insults and sarcasm (the agents of the Crowley Project included). The plot is strong, absorbing, and suspenseful. Even though I wanted to find out how it all ended—and what our big baddie was—I had a bit of a pout when I finished the last page. The esoteric references were great as well, I really enjoyed seeing a lot of things I’ve read about put into fictional use.

My only real complaint about this amazing novel regards the cutesy romance. I don’t want to name names and spoil anything for you guys, but I just found the entire thing out of place (you’ll know what I’m talking about when you read it) and in conflict with the character of the person it involved; it didn’t seem like them at all. I can do sappy, I’m not saying I can’t, but I prefer it in straight-forward romance books not in a gritty, gory urban fantasy. I found it a bit annoying and distracting.

However, other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed Ghost of a Chance and cannot wait for the next installment (even if I have to deal with more lovey-dovey, this ‘verse is just too interesting to pass up).

Rating: 4 biotech kitties out of 5!

http://www.read-all-over.net/fiction/urban-fantasy/ghost-of-a-chance-by-simon-gr... show less

Sigh. I've now read at least one book in most of Simon R. Green's major series, and I think I'm going to give up. I find the concepts of his books tantalizing in general, and even though there's nothing I fundamentally dislike about his books, I'm just somehow the wrong audience type.

Ghost of A Chance is an urban-fantasy action adventure story--basically what you'd get if you mashed together Ghostbusters with James Bond.

HERE IS YOUR BOOK, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT.

THE TEAM:
The Leader: J.C. Chance. "The rising star of the Carnacki institute," as our narrator informs us, his codename is actually 007. Handsome, debonair, apparently charismatic, dresses in elegant suits, and wears sunglasses, even in a train station. Repeatedly refers show more to his team as "children" in a cheerfully patronising manner. Smiles constantly. The narration will repeatedly point out how special he is. Everything he ever does will turn out right, even if all of heaven and earth must interfere to make it so. Note the unsubtle initials. WWJD indeed.

The Smart Guy: Jack "Happy" Palmer, slobbish, short, balding, chubby, depressed, class-10 telepath. The ironically-nicknamed Happy is able to read the emotions of those around him and instigate and defend against psychic attacks, but is also a nervous wreck to the point of psychosis. He spends most of his time either high on various prescribed antipsychotics, antidepressants, and anti-anything-elses, or comedically sulking and depressed, or both. He gets to act as The Paranoid/Comedic Screamer whenever they encounter something frightening.

The Chick: Melody Chambers. The Narration introduces her as "the main brain and science geek", except that her tech is entirely useless throughout the entire plot, so she really functions as Edgy Female. There is really only one word that succinctly describes her (it rhymes with 'itch'), but I've been trying pretty hard not to write profanity in my reviews, so I can't use it. Pretty, fierce, nervous, emotional, sexualized, and bad-tempered. Jokes around her involve skirts, vibrators (how worse her temper is because hers is broken, urk), and how she can bed various other members of the team into happiness. Spends the rest of her time in pointless bickering with everyone she comes in contact with.

We also have a Distressed Damsel, Dark Chick, and The Brute but more details are a little spoilery, and, if I'm honest, I'm really bored with writing this, so I'll leave it to you to discover them. In terms of the villains, let it simply be noted that (1) a pink catsuit is involved, (2) the only POC is described as having a heart darker than her skin (kill me now), and (3) they are notable for their tendency to eat ghosts and (literally) torture kitties in a really horrifically disturbing and graphic manner, just to avoid any semblance of moral complexity. They're also comic relief. I had trouble putting those two facts together.

THEIR MISSION:
Something has taken over the Underground. Commuters have been whisked away by ghost trains and terrible things have bubbled up from the deeps. Most of the commuters who could be salvaged are now sectionable. The Team's task: stop whatever is doing it, all the while avoiding the rival team from the Crawley Institute.

THE DOSSIER:
I think my major issue is that Green's books tend to be very much about characters, yet the characters are extremely static. Action certainly happens, but it tends not to be enfolded in a tight plot. Things just happen and characters react (statically) to them. As a mystery reader, I can't really cope with the former; I am still irritated by not having a clear understanding of what on earth was going on. Since characters are really why I read, I also can't deal with the latter. I think the books would function well as movies; it's been over a decade since I saw it, but the character dynamics really do remind me of Ghostbusters. The comedic dialogue is constant and never-ending, and while the characters' circumstances will change, including one case of ridiculously superficial InstaLove, their personalities remain entirely static. To enjoy this book, you need to go in realizing that Our Hero is already The Hero. You can watch him gain power and confidence, but he already has all of the skills and experiences to succeed.

Another issue I had with this book in particular was the sheer extreme of Tell rather than Show. Every single character emotion and reaction is provided by our narrator. Sometimes it's helpful; when one of the characters undergoes InstaLove with a female he has seen for less than a minute and who has spoken about three words to him, I actually appreciated the narrator explaining that he had discovered "True love for the first time," because there is no way I would have guessed that on my own. Other times, it's less than helpful, especially since the narrator often paraphrases what the characters just said out loud a few sentences before, or facts that are so mind-numbingly obvious that they are better left unsaid. I also have trouble judging Green as a pure humour writer; his descriptions of various ghostly atrocities are graphic and disturbing and he also tends to try to drop into Earnest Adventure Story Mode. Take an example (names removed to protect the innocent from spoilers.)
"If [he] persisted in his attempt to rescue [her]...he would die. And his soul would be trapped on the hell train forever....[he] knew that, as surely and certainly as he knew anything, and didn't give a damn. It might be true, or it might not; you couldn't trust anything on a hell train. But even if someone he trusted had told him he was doomed, and damned, he would have gone on anyway. Because [she] needed him. So he thrust his face into the bitter cold wind, and stamped his frozen feet, and forced himself down the length of the car, one hard step at a time. Forcing himself on, against everything the train could throw at him.
Because in the end that's what love is. To go on, despite everything, driven by hope and faith alone."

or

"She flew down the car towards him....[he] walked in glory down the car to meet her. They came together in the middle, and the whole of the car was full of their love, a force so powerful it seemed to beat on the air like great wings. [He] reached out to her, and she put out her hands to take his; and his fingers passed right through hers. Because he was alive, and she was dead, he was flesh and blood and she was just a ghost; and because there were some things even the Light could not change.... “We can never touch,” said [..]. “But we have
each other.” “You say the sweetest things,” said [..]"

Whether or not you find that touching and sentimental or ludicrous, glutinous, purple prose depends on your level of cynicism.

For all that, I think the book could be fun if you go into it with your comedy/adventure-movie mentality firmly in place. Even I found myself chuckling at certain well-placed one-liners such as, "Confidence is fun. Sanity is better". The constant character quipping is reasonably well-done, the interactions between the team and its antagonists are entertaining, and the storytelling is fast-paced. I've never been into superheroes, but I think the dynamic here is very similar; if you like those, this may be a good match. So if you are looking for a pure and light ghostly adventure, this may well be worth a look.


IF YOU CHOOSE TO READ THIS BOOK, THIS REVIEWER DISAVOWS ALL RESPONSIBILITY.
THIS REVIEW WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN APPROXIMATELY 5e12 SECONDS.
GOOD LUCK. show less

I mostly really enjoyed this book. JC Chance leads a team of Ghost Finders for the secret Carnackie Institute, an organization which protects England from paranormal disasters. Happy is the team's telepath and pill popper. Melody is the tech support. Something has gone horribly wrong in London's Underground Tube system. Passengers have disappeared by the hundreds and a ghost train tears through the tunnels. While investigating, the team meats up with Kim, a young woman who was murdered at the Tube station just that morning. JC figures that she might be involved with this haunting. To make things worse The Project ( evil nemesis of the Institute) has also sent 2 vile agents to assassinate JC and company. This is where My liking of the show more book diminishes. One of the Project agents is a mad scientist/doctor who does disgusting experiments on animals an humans. He has a computer topped with a cat's head. The animal is sentient and in constant agony. I cannot abide animal abuse, and even though this is fiction, it makes my stomach churn. It ruined a perfectly good story for me. I may read more of this series as I like the quirky "good guy" characters. But, if I come across more unnecessary animal abuse, that will be the end of this series for me. Time will tell. show less

Ahhhhhhh Simon once again has captivated me with his wit, whimsy, charm, and shenanigans. This is the first of The Ghost Finders series. The Carnacki Institute exits to protect the planet from all sorts of ghosts, goblins, spooks, things that go bump in the night. Basically all of your halloween villainy (my words). JC Chance, Melody Chambers, and Happy Jack Palmer make up the best of the b list or is it c list from the Institute. They get sent in after the a list groups have all ready died or disappeared.

For the first novel they are sent deep into the Underground at London's Oxford Circus tube station to find out what's haunting it. Opposing them are 2 agents of the Crowley Project, femme fatale Natasha Chang (ghost eater) and rouge show more scientist Eric Grossman (mad doctor). They are there to prevent JC's group from succeeding in their mission and to cause all sorts of general chaos and mayhem.

For a change Simon wrote this in 3rd person. So for those of you that don't like first person (YES I'M LOOKING AT YOU AND GLARING) read this book. I was looking for references to his other series and i think i found some real subtle ones. I'll have to check back to see. I can't wait to see some cross-over between the Nightside or the Drood family.

Check out this book and laugh your ass off!!! show less