Families and How to Survive Them

This is an easy-to-read introduction to family therapy, presented as a dialogue between psychiatrist Robin Skynner and comedian John Cleese, who had participated in group therapy with Skynner. Skynner’s special interests within the broader field of family therapy seem to have been what leads us to marry the person we do and the characteristics of happy families.
The book is more than forty years old, and more than once, such as in the presentation of the causes of autism, the definition of borderline disorder, or the factors shaping sexual identity, I wondered what more recent research might say.
Beyond that, I found myself bored. After ninety or so pages, I skipped ahead to the final chapter, on sex, and found even that couldn’t keep show more my interest. I guess that, given that Cleese was a co-author, I expected it to be funnier (the cartoons were nice, though). Still, there were parts that I found enlightening and helpful. show less

Excellent. Written as conversations between John Cleese (of Fawlty Towers fame) and his family therapist, Robin Skynner. This book looks at psychiatry for the layman, in terms of why some people are happy while others aren't; why some people have repressed emotions, and what happens to them; what can cause people to become 'stuck' in their development from babyhood. I don't agree with every word - the recommendations about strict discipline for children seem over-harsh to me, for instance - but much of what's said is revelatory and fascinating. I first read this about twelve years ago, and found it extremely helpful in understanding my sons better. Even now, as an empty-nester, I can see a lot of value in this for self-help, and show more figuring out how people tick and why some are easier to get along with than others - quite apart from their different personality preferences.

The humour is decidedly 'British', and a non-British friend once told me that she simply didn't get the cartoons, which she even found mildly offensive in places. Take it with a pinch of salt - but if you ever wanted to know why some families get along and others don't, in broad terms, I'd recommend this book highly. show less

My goodness, was this accepted as true thirty years ago?

Robin Skynner says that the parents are to blame for everything that goes wrong in a child, except they can't help it because of their parents. Pretty hopeless, really.

Especially to blame for sexual 'deviance'. He specifically doesn't want homosexuallity called perversion, but he is convinced that it is caused by the upbringing and could be cured if the patient really wanted that. (But too much trouble really, so we don't bother. And we won't insist on rubbing it in that it's really very abnormal, even if it is. Aren't we kind and considerate?)

He also seems to think that all interaction between mental and physical illness starts at the mental side, and that medicinal care could be show more replaced with psychiatric treatment. show less

Written in an unconventional dialogue form, this book explores the inner workings of the modern family, and the interactions between couples and their children.

Spooky good. Some may question the science, and I wondered if the information is dated, but it made so much sense that I have nothing bad to say about it.

De verhaalstijl van het boek is pakkend, de auteur doet je dat ook verwachten. Maar de positie die het boek in neemt over bijvoorbeeld 'afwijkende' sexuele voorkeuren en keuzes maakt de inhoud een stuk discutabeler.

Zeer duidelijke uitleg over hoe relaties functioneren en waarom mensen doen zoals ze doen. Met de beschrijvingen over homoseksualiteit waagt hij zich op glad ijs.