Emma and the Vampires

I've never read the original 'Emma' but I should hope it's not as weak as this offering. I trudged through this book for almost a month and should have given up on it long before then. Unfortunately, I'm a tad too stubborn and was "rewarded" with nonsensical vegan vampires, with no explanation on how they came to be, and a story with more holes than a donut convention. I didn't like the book cover either. Why the frick does the vampire have a smirk on his face? Having just had his head cut off shouldn't he have had a look of anguish or horror? And as the head is the heaviest part of the body how is Emma holding it when her hand appears to be relaxed and she's barely grabbing the hair?
The synopsis describes 'Emma and the Vampires' as show more being "hilarious" and yet I never even broke into a smile. At times it read like the plot to a cheesy slasher horror movie, where the college students always end up going out in the dark alone even though they know there's a killer about, as there were many instances where the characters would leave a gathering at night only to be confronted with the evil vampires attacking them. Why did they not just hold their get together during the day and save themselves the trouble? Besides, the evil vampires sucked (yeah, pun intended) anyway and always got their butts kicked so what use is the evil in the book when it never prevails over good in any way? There's no suspense involved when, for the upteenth time, the nocturnal vampires get beaten yet again and so they're more of a hindrance than any real threat in this novel. Heck, they need not have been in this novel at all for all the use they were.
Albeit a tad bit late I should mention that all men are vampires in this novel, good and evil, and Emma is trying to match up her friends with the good ones because that's obviously funny, right? About as funny as being staked in the groin over and over. I'm not wasting anymore words on this drivel and would have entered it into my 'Hall of Shame' except I felt sorry for Austen having her name associated with this heinous book...and I don't even like Austen! Horrible, horrible read. show less

An interesting - and marketable - concept, poorly rendered. Emma is my favourite Jane Austen novel, so a mashup that combines Austen's characters with my current passion for vampire fiction was impossible to resist. I should have heeded the warnings of other reviewers, however!

The gimmick is fine, in theory. Highbury is inhabited by vampires - full vampires, the ebony-eyed aristocracy of the undead who feast on human blood, and 'vegan' vampires, identified by their blue eyes, who prefer to snack on animals (presumably they ate all the racoons in the UK). Messrs. Knightley, Elton and Martin are of the first ilk, whereas Mr Weston and John Knightley are 'vegan' or half-vampires, who can have children and seem to age at a normal rate. show more (Frank Churchill, as the son of Mr Weston, is a half-vampire, but 'turns' into the full-blooded variety at twenty-three, so he doesn't age past that point.) Vampires can also move about during the day, in a laboured attempt to explain how Mr Martin, a farmer, and Mr Elton, a vicar, could possibly become creatures of the night.

The only problem I have with this supernatural spin on Austen is the pointlessness of the whole enterprise - Emma and the Vampires is little more than an abridged version of the original novel with ocassional references to vampires thrown in. Mr Knightley as a 237 year old vampire could actually work, and would certainly explain why he has never married, but the irony is wasted on Josephson. I also thought that he was building up to an alliance between Frank Churchill and the wild vampires - the gypsies - who seem to be stalking Harriet Smith, but no. Knightley and the other Highbury vampires, irrespective of their status, join with slayers Emma and Harriet to lay waste to the interlopers, and the rest of the book continues in the same vein (sorry) as Austen's Emma. That's not even spoiling the story, because anyone familiar with the original novel already knows more than Josephson includes in this weak mashup.

Badly done, Mr Josephson, badly done! show less

I am a fan of the recent trend of paranormal/classic mash-ups and Emma is my favorite novel by Jane Austen. Being that I've enjoyed every recreation of Emma that I've ever read or seen (including the movie Clueless), I had high hopes for Emma and the Vampires. Unfortunately, this retelling didn't come close to my expectations.

The thing about Emma is she believes herself to be a bit more observant than she actually is. That transfers into this version perfectly. The problem is that while Emma may completely miss obvious things, the other townswomen aren't as blind to the things going on around them. In Emma and the Vampires, almost all of the gentlemen are vampires, yet not one of the women has the slightest inclination. Everyone is show more aware that vampires are real. They know the tell-tale traits a vampire possess, yet when seeing that the men don't go out in sunlight, don't eat solid food, are pale with either black and can have red eyes, the women don't even wonder about the men who these things describe perfectly. The women even go so far as to mention the gentlemen's fangs and still they haven't a clue. It went well beyond the fun Austen was poking. It seemed as though the point of the story was that all women were stupid, unobservant twits.

Emma and the Vampires had some good points that shouldn't be overlooked. First off, it's Emma, so that automatically brings something good to the table. There is a unofficial brigade of vampire fighters that forms in response to the rogue vampires lurking about which leads to some interesting fight scenes. And of course, by reading this book, people may be more willing to give the original version of Emma a try and and anything that gets readers excited about the classics is definitely worthwhile.

Emma and the Vampires made Jane Austen's Emma different, but not exactly better. A truly great mash-up should enhance the original book, infusing it with an extra angle that might even give the original a deeper meaning or message. Emma and the Vampires isn't anything more than Emma with, well, some vampires. show less

Although some readers have found any retelling of Austen's novels blasphemous, I have to say that I found Emma and the Vampires to be pretty funny. Much of the story is almost an exact copy of Austen's original, with the addition of vampires that stumble from the bushes to attack unaware humans at the end of a social occasion. It quickly becomes obvious though that Emma can handle herself and easily uses the wooden stake tied to her leg at all times to eliminate her undead attackers.

Many of our well-known characters from the novel are also undead, but have somehow learned to rely on animals and other food sources than humans (unless it is their own spouse). Mr. Knightley, for one, is part of the undead, yet remains civilized and ready show more to stand up for the highest comportment of his society. In some ways, these vampire battles and undead characters take little away from the original tale, but rather, add a bit of humor. I found myself giggling at scenes where the undead were inserted in a casual conversation. It just seemed a little funny. In the end though, I didn't think that anything was taken away from the story, even though the majority of the plot was created and driven by Jane Austen's own imagination, only fueled by a little of the undead. show less

Josephson states that he came up with the idea smashing together Emma and vampires in order to make Jane’s novel ”accessible to modern readers, especially young adults”. And perhaps he does, but I’m not impressed. We have our beloved Knightley, our gorgeous Highbury, a heroine only Austen herself could love and it follows remarkably close to the original storyline (I applaud him for that) … but it’s told in modern nomenclature which reads incredibly dumbed down.

Is Emma really that difficult for today’s young adults to comprehend … really? I could understand it with Shakespeare (and The Scarlet Letter which Josephson has also retold and published), but I just don’t buy it with Austen. Sorry. Also, it’s a bit insulting show more to insinuate that all teens need vampires in a book in order to read it. Maybe that wasn’t the motives behind the book, but it smacks of Twilight, True Blood and Vampire Diaries influence to me.

Emma and the Vampires is an okay read—quick and doesn’t require a lot of brainpower and slightly humorous—but I just don’t see what is so inaccessible about the original Emma. In fact, if I were to recommend any of Jane’s books to young adults, Emma (along with Northanger Abbey) would be among the first. They are the most teen-friendly, in my opinion.

Oh, and also our Mr. Knightley, besides the not sleeping and not eating bit, is really not much of a vampire at all. *sadface*

Bottom line: I would have had more respect for Emma and the Vampires if it were more like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. At least PPZ kept most of Jane’s original work and certainly continued with the dearly loved syntax and style when change was called for. Throughout Emma and the Vampires, I kept pondering, like others, “why am I reading this when I could be reading the actual Emma?”

Rating: 2 out of 5—it’s decent but just wasn’t my cup of tea.

http://www.read-all-over.net/fiction/historical/emma-and-the-vampires-by-wayne-j... show less

I know that some do not like these mash-ups, but I think they are so funny. The things I love the most are the things I like to see changed or made fun of. This totally works for me. And you all know I love things Austen by now.

Most of you surely know Emma, the pretty spoiled lady who suddenly realizes that she is a great matchmaker, and of course she isn't and that leads to a string of fun misunderstandings. And this book follows that plot, it follows Emma as it should, with a few exceptions...

There are vampires around and in Highbury there are a few gentlemen vampires. The rest seems to be blissfully aware even though these men have black eyes, red eyes, never eat or sleeps and are really pale. Mr Knightley is one of these gentlemen, show more as is Mr Elton and Mr Weston. But there are also wild vampires around, and Emma who carries a stake is not a bad vampire-killer when attacked. Mr Knightley is also very handy with a sabre, cos yes he and the rest chops a few heads when attacked. A real gentlemen does not attack a lady without being asked.

Vampires works so well here because he keeps it witty and a comedy of manners. The book is hilarious and sure Emma may not be the best heroine but she does have a good heart and means well. Harriett is a vampiremagnet with her heaving bosom and slender neck, Mr Knightley as knightley as ever, Emma's dad just as he always is, and Frank Churchill, a coward, for a vampire.

For readers who wants to read something nice, I would recommend this. For readers who love mash-ups, don't forget this one, and for those that haven't try one, just plunge in, and don't be horrified that Austen's works are being turned into something else. I am pretty sure she would have gotten a few laughs from it too. show less

If you enjoy the classic novel/creature mashup genre that has recently popped up, you will probably like this book. It sticks pretty closely to the Jane Austen version with a bit of Buffy the Vampire Slayer thrown in. Adding vampires to the mix turns this classic novel into a campy romp through the English countryside.

Emma is entirely clueless as the vampire identities of all the gentlemen in the book. Their paler than pale skin and black eyes seem to be a turn on instead of a reason for concern. The only vampires that are worthy of fear are the hordes of them (who numbers increase exponentially throughout the book) who seem to pop up at the most inconvenient times and seem to be strangely attracted to Harriet’s white neck.

This book show more was great fun because of its campiness. William Josephson doesn’t take his use of Austen’s Emma too seriously and neither should the reader. Fun, fun, fun. A definite recommend. show less