The School of Life

As far as it goes, this is a fairly useful and decent little book that does a good job in explaining what psychotherapy is, why it might be useful and what to expect from it (not too much, as it happens).

To be clear, this reviewer is not 'against' psychotherapy. On the contrary, I see it to be a very useful palliative if you have the time and money and, as a 'technology', it is more advanced than religion in dealing with at least some of the torments and questions of existence.

But I retain show more my doubts even after reading this very lucid explanation of its worth and methodology. Some of those doubts arise from the fact of the book itself. In a moment of lucidity, I realised that the 'School of Life' had cannily got me to pay £10.00 for the privilege of being marketed to.

For be in no doubt that the 'School of Life' is a business of sorts selling improved mental functioning the way that the late capitalist medical system sells physical healthcare or lawyers sell (in effect) survival or advantage in a complex social system.

And this is part of my problem with psychotherapy. It is not that it oversells (this book is clear and fair about its limitations) but that it sells at all. It is transactional and even mildly exploitative. It takes the tragedy of existence and intermediates through the illusion of the 'professonal'.

Or rather it would like to be seen as a 'profession', one that has earned the right to be so regarded after 100 years of practice and has its panoply of lineages, schools, certificates and so forth. But at the end of the day there is a person sitting there with a commercial pay-off - they sell their time.

No matter, if it works, of course. It can be a good living for some and it can certainly help many people in the process (though some will shell out the cash and get no further if they have the wrong therapist or attitude). It really is 'caveat emptor'. Maybe even a bit of a gamble.

But there are deeper suspicions. In a rare flash of self exposure, the book introduces us to the main one on page 37:

"This period of freedom [basically the unconditional love of the good enough parent, to use Bettelheim's term] prepares us one day to submit to the demands of society without having to rebel in self-defeating ways (rebels being at heart, people who have had to obey too much too early). We can knuckle down and tow the line when it's in our long term interest to do so."

Hmmmmm! The point goes on to seem reasonable, that Aristotelian balance between 'slavish compliance and self-destructive defiance' but a cat is let out of the bag. Inherent in 'bourgeois' psychotherapy is a tendency to submission to the given that is the world.

And that 'long term interest', what actually is it? Simple survival in a society as it is. Mastery of that society on 'our terms'? And what are 'our terms' if those terms are compromises with society.

Does not psychotherapy effectively try to square our emotional weaknesses with social conformity so that we are enabled to come to terms with (currently) late liberal capitalism but, in another age, Aztec blood sacrifice, negritude, social democracy or being a Catholic.

I know I am in a minority in our transactional age but I find all this cause for caution and I write as someone who has used psychotherapy three times in my life, found it useful, might well recommend it to others but not been seduced by some of its more quasi-spiritual implicit claims.

To say that it is useful as a tool is not, however, to accept the whole package at its own face value. What we have here is a business model wrapped in its own ideology and serving a cadre of professionals who cannot escape from the dominant culture of the time.

This comes out most clearly in the four case studies which a) show just how useful psychotherapy can be but also b) how it panders to the lack of self awareness of an international middle class which is scrabbling to cope with social conditions which they are not encouraged to question.

The silent listening of psychotherapy fascinates me - the precise opposite of the dialectic of Socrates - and I see how this works to build emotional awareness but it also blocks off the analytical element necessary to contextualise the workings of past experience in the present.

You are supposed to sit there waiting, after much time and money, to come to a self-questioning of 'why am I where I am' when a dynamic dialectical questioning of 'why am I where I am' might be not so much equally useful as central to the final answer.

The screening off of dialectical reason is understandable as far as process is concerned but the process may be flawed insofar as it discourages direct intervention with radical questioning of a current situation rather than reference back to causes that have consequences.

In other words, to the concerns as to its transactional nature and its tendency to adaptation to social order, I might add this doubt as to methodology (based on my own experience) - the lack of an element of dialectic.

Alhough I have rated it lowly because it classically borrowed my watch to tell me the time, I would still recommend the book - but get one copy, pass it around to people who might benefit from this simple account of the 'profession' and then ask your own critical questions about it and yourself.

I say about yourself advisedly because (until something better comes along that is not embedded in late liberal capitalist transactionalism) there are points of useful self-reflexion in this book and you may find the tool aspect of psychotherapy useful if you have sufficient time and leisure. show less

On Confidence is not a loud book. It does not come dressed as some chest-beating manual about becoming an alpha, crushing the room, or learning to stare at yourself in the mirror while chanting lies until the rent comes due. Thank God.

The book circles the strange humiliating fact that confidence is not really about believing you are brilliant. It is about surviving the possibility that you are not. That you might fail. That you might look stupid. That someone might laugh. That the world show more might not applaud the trembling little performance you have assembled from childhood wounds, caffeine, and hope.

And still, somehow, you go.

That is the useful thing here. The School of Life frames confidence less as a personality trait and more as a practice of self-permission. A willingness to act before certainty arrives. Because certainty rarely arrives. It is usually late, drunk, and useless.

The book is short, clean, and very readable. Maybe too polished at times, but there is value in that. Sometimes you need someone to take the ugly mess and make it legible.

I liked it because it does not promise transformation. It offers a quieter, harder thing: the reminder that most people are improvising, most authority is costume, and most fear shrinks once you stop worshipping it.

A strong read for anyone waiting to feel ready before beginning. Which is to say, almost everyone. show less

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How to Travel by The School of Life consists of short essays about traveling. The School of Life is an organization which is devoted to show people how to lead a more fulfilling life.

This is the first “School of Life” book I have read, I figured I’d get some insights since I really enjoy traveling, as oppose to just “going places”. The difference, for me, is that traveling involves meeting people, show more experiencing food, and different culture. Going places is basically checking off places from a list.

How to Travel by The School of Life is sometimes interesting, somewhat enlightening but mostly pretentious. It is not the travelogue we think of when we see the “Travel” tag. There were several essays I enjoyed “What is Exotic”, “Small Pleasures”, and “Water Towers”, to name a few.

Other essays however seem to be written as an intellectual exercise, with a self-centered perspective. There are thousands of resources from many “experts” about the joys and benefits of traveling. This book is more concerned with interaction with where you go, as oppose to simply going places.
Which, as I mentioned, is traveling.

I disagree with several of the suggestions in the book, but that’s objective. For example, I don’t think it’s necessary to travel to poor and disadvantaged countries to realize how lucky you are. Just by being able to afford to travel, or someone else to cook for you (“going out”) you’re better off than the majority of the people in the world.

This book does, however, opens one’s eyes to what traveling is all about. Not just a destination, but the way one interacts with places and people they encounter. show less

Finally! An incredibly well written book that celebrates the most neglected but valuable emotion we can feel:: melancholy. I happen to be on of those people who lives life in a near constant state of melancholy, a really misunderstood state of being that has not been properly discussed much less explained until now.

The main point of this book is to point out that above all else melancholy is NOT depression, rage, or bitterness We are not cynical or in need of medication, Rather it’s a show more serene, wise, and kindly response to the difficulties of being alive, a perspective that steers a mid-way course between despair on the one hand and naïve optimism on the other. Contrary to popular belief the truth remains that there may be no better way to confront the misery and lack of wholeness or direction than to settle on melancholy

Personally, this reader feels as though melancholy can be a philosophy of sorts, a useful, practical perspective that allows people to view much of life's experience in a different sort of light (that is often mistaken for shadows by most of the people we know). Melancholy spares us from many disappointments in life as The Melancholy approach life in such a way that allows us serenity in the face of chaos. While others fall a part we remain strong. By now, you may be shaking your head, or rolling your eyes believing that we are delusional at best, Before you complete write me off however, grab a copy of this book and prepare to walk away with a better understanding and maybe even the strength to allow yourself to join us in our different but valid celebration of life.

Varieties of Melancholy is a perfectly crafted collection of the various forms of the most recognized states of melancholy and provides expert quality explanations and reasonings in a way that is easy to read and understand. I have no doubts that this will be a golden tool for teaching the masses what melancholy is and what it is not by diving right in to the thought process of the melancholic person and step by step leads readers to the truth hidden behind the emotion from beginning to end.

I highly recommend this book to everyone who enjoys psychology, sociology or are just plain curious as to what is between the pages of this eye catching title.

Thank you to netgalley and the School of Life for providing an e-copy for me to read so I can share my honest opinions on this material. show less