Sue Klebold

Reading this was often excruciating, but it is so well done. I don't quite know how Sue Klebold pulled it off (both writing the book and going on to do the other things she has done since Columbine), but A Mother's Reckoning is humble, necessary, and insightful. It is also a clear-eyed, well-researched call to action. In these violence-plagued and mental health-challenged times, all of us stand to benefit from Klebold's horrifically hard-won wisdom. As Joan Baez once sang so beautifully, show more "there but for fortune, go you or I."

Note: In case anyone missed it: "All author profits from the book will be donated to research and to charitable organizations focusing on mental health issues." (book jacket) show less

Sue Klebod is bold and brave enough to invite you into her world - a world that was shattered beyond recognition on April 20, 1999, following the Columbine school shooting. She has been working for the last 18 years to find a reason to live and many of us, like me, has never even come close to standing for even a minute in her shoes. To this day, she wonders why and what could she have done differently as a parent to prevent the murder of 12 students and a teacher, the wounding of 24 others show more and the loss of her son to suicide. Each reader of this memoir has an opportunity to bear that heavy burden for 300 or so pages. Any person who walks away without empathy for the pain and suffering of this family is heartless. And any parent who does not question their own actions and decisions given the lessons that Sue Klebod departs throughout this book should start the book over from page one. She has such an important message to share. show less

I read this book as a Brit who was only 4 when Columbine happened. It was something mentioned on the peripherals of my life, some brief awareness of the two boys in trench coats shooting at students, not knowing much about the facts of the case, but you could say I was entirely detached from the event. And I think that's why I was able to go into this book without prejudice.

The reviews here are absolutely infuriating.

The reviews where people criticise Sue for defending her family and how show more she raised her kids... of course she's going to do that??? She received endless abuse, hate mail, blame and threats from essentially the entire world, so it is totally understandable that she wants to set the record straight! Who wouldn't? She would be damned if she did and damned if she didn't. She mentions in the book that people already viewed her negatively, so why not share her experience to at least try to set the record straight?

Also, the frankly idiotic reviews talking about how couldn't she have recognised the anger in Dylan as a child?! You all only say this IN HINDSIGHT. There are countless kids out there who behave like Dylan did as a kid and as a teenager that don't do what he did, and turn out to be great human beings. Do you kick off at their parents for not recognising that their kid is a little angry or too independent? No. She also covers in the book how even 4 year olds can deceive adults and FBI experts. Teens are excellent at hiding things and their true feelings.
I feel that even if Sue did everything "right" (as if her parenting had any influence at all) he would've never admitted to his mother what he was planning and she may never have been able to prevent it even if he did tell her. The world is placing far too much on Sue and her family's shoulders.

What Sue does an excellent job of is drilling into the readers' head the warning signs of depression in adolescents (they present slightly differently to adult depression). If you have a teenager at home that you're worried about, Sue shares the things she regrets not doing or saying with her son (as well as some anecdotes of parents whose child committed suicide whilst they were unaware of their feelings) and knows now what signs/opportunities that she missed, largely because she assumed her family were fine and happy, so it could be incredibly informative to a parent who doesn't know what to do for their teen. It's probably not the first resource to go to, but it's certainly very eye opening at how little parents know and understand about poor mental health in adolescents. She has done an excellent job of turning the tragedy into something positive by spreading such awareness.

My heart goes out to Sue, for the sad loss of her son who could've gone on to do great things (most likely if he had not met Eric). My heart goes out to her for the intense emotions, stress and trauma she experienced whilst having the community point their finger at her and send her abuse and hate, instead of seeing her simply as a grieving mother who has absolutely no culpability in the tragedy. I hope Dylan's family have learned to ignore the idiots that criticise them and focus on the positive comments and support from people around the world. We're out there.

And although I know Eric was the main instigator of all of this, due to his psychopathy/personality disorder, and despite not knowing absolutely anything about his family or upbringing, I still have the ability to see Eric as a human being separate from his family. His actions are his alone. It's the same for Dylan. Keep their families out of it! show less

I can count on one hand the number of books that have been this affecting. It is brutal to read an account of love, grief, and incomprehension as honest as this. Klebold's insight that murder-suicides spring from suicide radically changed my worldview in a way few things have done in recent memory. There are a few stumbles, as when she says that suicidal people are “hiding” their intentions from those around them, or that video games (vice other elements she understands such as alcohol show more or guns) contribute to mass shootings. But they are so obvious precisely because they are such outliers. At its heart, A Mother's Reckoning is a 295-page koan: What are the limits of love? How should one weigh a lifetime of human goodness and flaws against a day of unspeakable violence? When and why do feelings of hopelessness tip irrevocably to death, and how can we work to prevent the people around us from reaching that point? show less