Marcelo Hernandez Castillo

this was all over the place for me, in all the worst ways. some of this was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. he's a poet, and in those moments and pages it was obvious. some of this was important but dry. some of this seemed really extraneous. partly i think i have trouble with this because of how honest he was in talking about himself. i don't like him but i think i understand his anger and his volatility and where it comes from, how we created it. maybe that's part of his point, too. but it show more made parts of this hard for me. i care about this situation, which is so unfair and nonsensical, and his family's specific situation which feels obvious in how things should have been different for them. but the book, to me, isn't as well done as i would have liked. the story he tells, though, is a crucial one and this is still worth reading.

"So much of my energy was spent trying to avoid getting caught. I wonder how much more I could have done with my life if I'd been spared the energy it took to survive." show less

I found this book in an article titled something like, "Books to Read Other Than 'American Dirt'" and I'm so glad my neighbor had a copy I could borrow. The memoir read like song lyrics at some points, painting this painful music in my heart. He writes in a way that dug deep into my soul. I finished this book and wondered if I should have been allowed to read it, it was so very deeply personal. I highly recommend it.

“When I came undocumented to the U.S., I crossed into a threshold of invisibility. Every act of living became an act of trying to remain visible. I was negotiating a simultaneous absence and presence that was begun by the act of my displacement: I am trying to dissect the moment of my erasure. “

This is a solid memoir about the immigrant experience. Castillo was five years old, when he crossed the border with his family. For the next 2 decades, it becomes a story of survival. Tales of show more deportation and displacement, a family, struggling to find footing in America, against draconian policies. The writing is good but could have used a little editing. Castillo is also a poet, so I would like to sample some of his poetry. show less

This memoir is about Hernandez Castillo's life--and those of his parents--as an undocumented immigrant. Brought to the US at age 5, he grew up largely north of Sacramento. He well knew the drill--be invisible, do not talk or argue, do not draw any attention. He went to the University of Michigan as an undocumented student.

He does an excellent job of explaining the anxiety, stress, and fear he was raised with. He saw his father deported. Even after he gets a green card after marriage, the show more anxiety is still there. The fear of border patrol, of showing his documents--it's always there.
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My only disagreement is that on page 117 he writes "I took for granted how much growing up in California quietly consoled me just by being in the presence of people like me. But in the frigid Michigan snow, in its humid summers, in small corn-fed towns that I'm sure meant well when their people asked me 'So what are you?' I had to recalibrate who I was to those around me." He then goes on to explain they had to hide the identities of their culture, and how after two years it was exhausting. I understand why he assumed this was because he (and his wife) are Latinx. But it happens to lots and lots of people, including those who in California are largely considered boring white people--Midwesterners (especially small town Midwetserners) question anyone who does not have an English/German/ Scandinavian surname, and who has dark hair and even pale olive skin. It happened to me many times in 4 years in Wisconsin. It very much IS exhausting and it DOES make you feel very unwelcome and excluded. show less