Mason Deaver

Benjamin is in the last year of high school when they come out to their parents as non-binary and are thrown out of their house with only the clothes they wear. Not knowing what else to do, Ben calls their sister Hannah whom they have not met for years, and moves in with her and her husband. They transfer to a new school, where they meet Nathan, a popular and handsome boy. The two develop a close and complex friendship, but after their first coming out went so wrong, Ben does not dare to show more open up to Nathan - not about their gender identity, and not about the feelings they have.

This is a wonderful novel that drew me in because of the characters who felt totally real and authentic to me. Usually I don't prefer high school settings, but this one was well done and felt like a school with a positive atmosphere, so I enjoyed reading about it. I rooted for Ben and their personal story of growing confident and strong, and for Ben and Nathan as a couple. There are so many tender and touching scenes, and I could't stop reading. The only aspect I have to criticize is that some of the dialogue feels a bit artificial, especially towards the end. I still totally loved this novel, though. The author is non-binary, too, so that makes me confident that the book is a good representation of non-binary identities, and I am looking forward to reading more of their work. show less

i devoured this book and consider me officially a Mason Deaver stan! they made me fall in love with with this story and touched my heart in so many ways. we. love. flawed. characters! The Feeling of Falling in Love is a story about a boy who’s been through a lot and slowly realizes that it’s okay to let people in and live and fall in love despite the hurt it might cause in the future. it’s beautiful and heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time and after finishing it i smiled show more so big show less

I cried so much reading this. This book, more than anything, is sad. It hits you right in a deep place and makes the tears flow. And it's cathartic.

The plot was not what I was expecting. Based on the synopsis and Deaver's previous novel, I was expecting it to be more of a rom-com than anything else. Instead, it's an exploration of the grief one experiences when losing a loved one so close to them. But it's good. It's really, really good. Just make sure you have the tissue box ready.

TW: show more Suicidal thoughts, attempted self-harm show less

My goal this year is to read more diverse stories, specifically more diverse romance stories and this book started my year off really strong. Reading a singular perspective of a young trans boy figuring out how to fall in love was refreshing and ultimately reminded me of the various parts of my own experience with young love that were similar to Neil and Wyatt. I found the characters enduring, and even though Neil made decisions I didn't always agree with, the tension and conflict that comes show more with battling ones self worth is unique to his character and his experiences, but also universally to readers. I think it was a really great book to start of my year. show less