Karrine Steffans

Synopsis:

The Vixen Manual combines self help, how to advice, sex tips, and humor. The book is divided into fifty short chapters and five main parts: (1) Being Single, (2) How to Attract Him, (3) How to Engage Him, (4) How to Release Him, and (5) Maybe It's You. Don't read Karrine's manual for revolutionary concepts, instead compare her advice to what you've heard and learned over the years.

Review:

Some statements from The Vixen Manual reminded me of advice I'd received from my grandmother show more with a twist. Being Single covers the basic attitude and approach towards dating, love, and men. Karrine describes the concept of the "dance card" of the 18th century and discourages women from being too quick to commit to one man which is an inefficient use of scarce time. Karrine's advice is similar to the "collect and select" suggestion that I'd heard from my grandmother. But Karrine adds her own twist to this: collect men, rank them using a written list, and let them know how they compare. But be careful not to throw casual sex into the mix because women are wired to feel an emotional connection to our sexual partners.

Similarly, in Chapter 10, Preparation Meets Opportunity, Karrine recommends that any single woman looking for love should prepare for her man now - get fit, keep your place neat, and act as though you're in love and you'll attract the man that you want. She does point out that getting ready extends beyond your looks to cover educational, financial and emotional preparation. Though this advice isn't new, it is useful and surely can't hurt. It's easy enough to procrastinate on your fitness regimen or other aspects of our lives and we all can do with the gentle reminder to take good care of all aspects of yourself.

The advice is interspersed with humor. For instance, "Dating Younger Men" has tips like "Check ID when dating someone significantly younger and be sure you're not breaking any laws" and "Never hang out with him and his friends. You are a cougar; see him only in your den." Similarly, the chapter "How to Handle Rejection" listed the things you should not do and watch out for, such as, "you don't want to wind up having your voice mail played over and over to a room full of his buddies as they knock back beers and laugh at what a loon you are...think of every message you leave as a potential sound bite that can work against you."

I should mention that the chapter on Sex has quite explicit instructions and diagrams of various recommended techniques.

While some advice predated the women's lib movement, Karrine Steffans is likely to be laughing all the way to the bank.

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (July 13, 2009), 272 pages.
Courtesy of Hatchette Books Group. show less

Video Vixen was actually much better than I initially expected. The author was very forthcoming with her life story and acknowledges that she didn't necessarily make the best choices. She pretty much confirms what many already suspect about the rap / hip hop video industry, i.e., impressionable young women, adultery, etc. Others have criticized the author for writing a kiss and tell book however it seems to me that she and the rap artists both used one another for their own means.

Literally speaking the The Vixen Manual comes as a surprise. As someone who had try to read Steffans' first work Confessions of A Video Vixen, the expectations of her writing ability were pretty low. There are varying opinions on whether or not Steffans uses a ghost writer. It is reported that she does but she claims that she writes all her books herself. If she is to be believed there is a remarkable jump in her writing ability from the first book to her third book (The Vixen Manual). The show more writing in The Vixen Manual is superb, in fact, better than some people with English degrees (my roommates opinion). It's hard to believe that she wrote this book (am I just hating?). While, the writing was good, after about the first half of the books it is annoying. Steffans writing seems to take on this tone that becomes unpleasant and patornizing. The impressive writing starts to wear off. To top that off she has a tendency to repeat herself. There is very little difference in the chapters, they basically all have the same point. It became hard to want to complete the book because it became very predictable.

I can't say that the book lives up to the title, it doesn't tell you how to find, seduce and keep the man you want. Mainly Steffans repeats the same on message over and over again; respect and love yourself. That is it. There are no exciting new sex tips (she does advice women to be more sexually adventurous). There is no advice on where to find the sort of man that you are looking for. In fact, the information isn't that different from anything that can't be found in online article or Cosmo. At times the information seemed like common sense. Steffans does encourge women to work on themselves and achieve their goals. While some of the messages she delievers are okay, there were a few that seemed sort of off. In what she calls "The New Dating Game", she advices women to date more than one man at a time, to rank them and tell them where they stand. That is sort of degrading. What woman worth her grain of salt would stay with a man that told her she was number 3 out of 5 on his list of females. There isn't anything wrong with dating one than one person at a time (if there is no sex involoved). There is nothing wrong with ranking people that you are dating, as long as you don't tell them. That is disrespectful. She contradicts herself by saying that it is okay to sleep with more than one person at a time (but remember to be safe) and then stating that beware of your so you don't come off as a slut. Doesn't these two thing behavior s sort of contradict themselves. Another issue is that she plays into the Superwoman sterotype. In her message there is the feeling that a woman should be all things to her man and that if she doesn't an he leaves than it is her fault. A woman should be able to work, cook, clean, raise children, and look hot at all times. This is unrealistic and potentially exhuasting course. Not anywhere in her book does it say anyting about forming a partnership and finding out a way to split the responisblitiy to the house, kids, and careers together. The woman sort of becomes the work horse and the man has to be feel and be treated like king all the time.

If you are reading this book to get the freaky sex tips this is not the book. There are about a total of two diagrams showing different sexual positions. But that is all.

It is a interesting read at first, but quickly losses it appeal. show less

Ilistened to the 6 cd set of this book. WOW. I after listening to each cd, I could not decide if I needed a cold shower or needed some illegal stimulant to unjangle my nerves. Karin does a excellent job of putting her experince into verbal format. Even if you know nothing about rap, hip hop or the NBA, this is a book (or cd) that you will have a hard time puttting down.