Barbara Feinman Todd

One of the reasons I enjoyed the movie the Post so much was watching Meryl Streep's performance as Kay Graham. I could certainly identify with Graham's self-doubt and hesitancy before finding her voice and owning the powerful decision made at the heart of the film. What a delight then to pick up this book from my book pile and realize there were echoes here by Barbara Feinman Todd for a number of reasons. One--because Feinman Todd actually began her career at the Post and we get a different show more perspective of what it is like to work there at the start of your career especially as a young woman starting out. Two--because Feinman Todd worked directly for Ben Bradlee (and Woodward and Bernstein) researching important books for them. A major part of the books is also about her work for Hillary Clinton on It Takes a Village--so we really learn what it can be like to be caught up in a Clintonesque maelstrom. (Yikes!) So we also get a glimpse at the world of Washington D.C., the power, the intrigue and what it is like to work close with powerful people. Third--because in addition to teaching journalism, Feinman Todd is a book researcher, ghost writer and book doctor, so we get a good sense how that works and how her career plays out. Any writer or editor would find this of interest. And finally, because Feinman Todd does some soul searching and questions her own hesitancy at finding her own voice. All that time writing for others and taking on their voices--would she have been better off finding her own instead? My answer to Barbara Feinmann Todd is that I'm glad you've taken. Through you we have a record of those in Washington and now your own view. I hope to read more from this author. show less

Barbara Feinman Todd, in "Pretend I'm Not Here," recounts her experiences as a ghostwriter for such luminaries as Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein, Ben Bradlee, Bob Kerrey, and Hillary Clinton. Todd's journey took her "from researcher to book doctor, to collaborator, to ghost." She confides that, "Like Woody Allen's Zelig character, I found myself orbiting on the periphery of people in the public eye." Although hobnobbing with men and women who shaped public opinion was intoxicating, Barbara show more feared that she was paying too high a price. Instead of pursuing a career that would allow her to express herself freely, she silenced her inner voice and rendered herself invisible.

With a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor, the author describes her stint as a copy aide for the Washington Post, which led to her working with Woodward on his book, "Veil: The Secret Wars of the CIA 1981-1987." Woodward became Barbara's mentor. Just transcribing his interviews "was a master class in technique, persistence, and finesse." This job led to others, and Barbara eventually earned enough to live nicely and, for a while, she felt like an insider. On the other hand, she was at the beck and call of whoever was paying her, and she felt her sense of identity eroding. Ultimately, she was hurt by a series of betrayals that she could not have foreseen. Fortunately, she found other avenues, such as teaching journalism at Georgetown University, marrying, and becoming a mother that brought her the fulfillment she craved.

Todd is implicitly cautioning young people who are starting out to carefully consider how they want to spend their lives. Although Barbara enjoyed associating with talented authors and famous politicians, she realizes that for too long she failed to nurture herself emotionally and professionally. Her experiences also taught her to be careful whom you trust; sometimes the most unlikely people will turn on you. This breezy and literate memoir is an enlightening and entertaining look at the life and times of a former ghostwriter, as well as an exploration of the false values and chicanery of influential but unprincipled individuals in our nation's capital and other corridors of power. show less

Liked the nitty-gritty descriptions of research, journalism (loved the party-crashing anecdote), and ghost-writing; and the Washington DC setting. The main reason it doesn't get 5 stars from me is that the rehashing of HR Clinton not acknowledging Feinman Todd in the book Feinman Todd basically wrote (or at least co-wrote) felt like the same behavior Feinman Todd was criticizing. Very nit-picky, mostly of interest to insiders. I imagine Feinman Todd debated a lot with herself about going show more into such detail, and I think I understand the reasons why she included it. It just dragged a little bit. show less