Hélène Boudreau

I love mermaids, and I love stories about young girls not being all that okay with growing up - and I absolutely adore stories that deal with all the strange as fuck changes happening in young girls’ bodies at that horrible age of 14 (*cough* periods *cough*) - so it would have been nearly impossible for me not to enjoy ‘Real Mermaids Don’t Wear Toe Rings’.

Jade, our soon-to-be-finny protagonist, is fourteen years old and preparing to go into the water for the first time since her show more mother drowned on a boat cruise. Honestly, she’d rather not, but her best friend in the world is having a birthday pool party, and there is simply no way for Jade to refuse. But when the two girls go shopping for a new bathing suit for Jade (who has a pretty hard time finding any due to her pudgy figure), a label with her mother’s name on it throws Jade into emotional turmoil - but not nearly half as much as her first period, which just happens to come at that precise moment in the fitting room. And when she’s managed to get out of there (with a bloody bikini bottom and napkins shoved into her panties), to find some pads at the drugstore with the assistance of her dad, she runs right into the boy who gave her the most awful nickname of her childhood, but who also turned surprisingly cute in the year he was gone - and who then promptly gets confronted with Jade’s father yelling something about maxi pads. Talk about ‘when it rains’, huh!

But it’s not like that’s the worst part of Jade’s day. Jade gets home and takes a relaxing bath with Epsom salt, falls asleep in her tub - and wakes up with a tail! A real, huge, flapping, finny mermaid tail!

And that’s how all the hassle starts. In her quest to find out what the hillie is wrong with her, Jade has to navigate through lies she told years ago, painful transformation into a mermaid and back into her human form, middle school rivalry and something that might be first love - and of course, she has to find out what is going on in Port Toulouse. And the longer Jade has to live with her finny little secret, the more clear it seems to become that she isn’t the only one with secrets in her quiet lake-side home town…

The book is written from Jade’s first person point of view, and Hélène Boudreau just really nails that 14-year-old iffiness, the hormone-fuelled hurricane of feelings of any eighth-grader, amplified with an outright dysphoric alienation with one’s own body which is likely bound to happen when you wake up with a huge tailfin that burns like lava when it turns back into legs. Boudreau’s descriptions here absolutely got under my skin - the process of changing to a mermaid and back is raw, ripping, and savagely draining. It’s also scary as hell - or how would you feel if you had to basically drown yourself in order to change your lower half from skin to fin?

But even despite this rather grim and grimy take on magical mermaid metamorphosis, Real Mermaids Don’t Wear Toe Rings is an honestly heartwarming story about friendship, family and identity. It’s nearly painful to watch Jade fight with the lies she has to tell to her best friend in order to keep herself from becoming a fishy guinea pig in some sort of genetics laboratory, how their friendship, one of the most important things in the world for Jade (even more so after her mother’s death), nearly succumbs to this invisible wall between them. I love how her relationship with her best friend is front and center at the part of Jade’s life that’s got nothing to do with fins and water and Epsom salt, and not her budding crush for amateur sailor Luke. Female friendships are incredibly important to me, especially in middle school books, and it’s really nice to see that first love doesn’t have to always play the first fiddle.

Real Mermaids Don’t Wear Toenails is the first part of a series, and I’m really glad for this; Boudreau’s world is populated with fascinating characters and full of interesting, potential future plot threads, and even though the world of Port Toulouse is rather small at the moment, I really hope that it will be properly expanded and build upon in the rest of this series.

This book left quite a load of questions unanswered - and, to say the truth, some plot points appeared to be a little bit rushed. But since there are 4 other books out there (and the second book of the series is already on my kindle), I hope that those questions will - eventually - be answered.

In general I’d recommend this book for younger readers and people who feel young at heart ;) One thing that’s important to consider is that this book is written in a language that makes heavy use of teenage lingo - a detail I personally loved, but which might not be for everybody.

(PS: This book also contains one of the BEST chocolate mug cake recipes ever.) show less

I LOVED THIS BOOK. This is probably my favorite of the mermaid-related books I've read.

When thirteen-year-old Jade gets her first period, it also triggers her transformation into becoming a mermaid. I really enjoyed the "becoming a mermaid" concept as a metaphor for adolescence.

I also appreciated that the father in this novel was not one of those distant/crappy/negligent parents that exist in almost all YA lit. He and Jade have a great relationship (despite him embarrassing her by googling show more "menstruation" on his phone in order to help Jade through her first period.)

Until another mermaid comes along and steals my heart, Jade has it for now. She is such a refreshingly real protagonist. She's extremely capable, a good friend and daughter, as well as being very self-effacing and witty. She's got boy drama, but it doesn't envelop her entire life. She lies to her best friend (with good reason!) yet hates herself for doing it. She was such a joy to read, and I can't wait to take a swim with her again in the sequel. show less

It’s not often that I pick up a middle grade that makes me think of Margaret. I’m talking about Margaret of ARE YOU THERE GOD? fame, of course. I mean, there have been many books over the years that deal with coming of age and first periods and first crushes and all the hormonal insanity that is growing into your teen self. And many of these books are awesome in their own right. But none of them touched my heart the way Hélène Boudreau‘s REAL MERMAIDS DON’T WEAR TOE RINGS did.

Jade show more is almost fourteen when she gets her first period in a department store bathroom while trying to find a bathing suit that compliments her “muffin top.” And she can’t tell her best friend, Cori, since she kind of sort of fibbed about getting it back when everyone else did, when they were twelve. She can’t tell her mom, since she died about a year ago — and how Jade wishes she were there more than ever! She doesn’t want to tell her dad, but is forced to when she realizes she spent all her money on the bathing suit post-period-panic and now hasn’t got the cash for “feminine hygiene products.” So Dad comes to the rescue, which unfortunately means loading up a shopping cart — a shopping cart! — with everything on the shelves while reading menstrual remedies aloud from Google results on his smart phone. Jade thinks she can just walk away and deal until Luke shows up. Adorable, evil Luke who has called her Scissor-Lips for years after a spin-the bottle accident that involved Jade’s braces and Luke’s head. Woops. But Luke looks different. And he’s looking at Jade different. If only Dad didn’t choose that moment to price-compare pads.

The worst part? The worst part is that the drug store fiasco wasn’t the worst part. When Jade takes an Epsom-salt bath, she falls asleep in the tub. When she wakes up, she’s sprouted a scaly, gross tail where her legs were. It can’t be real, and yet it is. And that’s when her dad breaks down and tells her: Jade’s mom was a mermaid. And Jade is, too.

But here’s the thing — if her mom was a mermaid, how could she have drowned? As soon as Jade’s legs have transformed back — thank goodness! — she wants to run to Cori and spill her guts, but sworn to silence she finds herself tangled up in secret after secret. And as the mystery of her mom’s death begins to unravel, the lies she has to tell keep piling up. Jade feels like the worst friend ever as Cori begins to turn to the snotty Lainey instead, and even though she’s starting to have mushy crushy feelings for Luke, she’s got way too much on her plate to even think that he’d be interested in a plus-sized mer-girl anyway.

REAL MERMAIDS DON’T WEAR TOE RINGS is an unputdownable adventure, part Judy Blume, part Hans Christian Anderson, and 100% delightful, this fun, fresh tale (tail?) will have girls begging for a sequel. The mer-mythology is solidly constructed around an exciting story, and Jade’s voice is so real, so authentically thirteen, that I feel like she’s the girl next door. And, you know, I remember being that age. Getting your first period, having boobs that you’re dissatisfied with (whether too big or too small), trying to figure out boys — it’s a lot like turning into an otherworldly creature, if you really think about it. Hélène Boudreau‘s REAL MERMAIDS is absolutely the book to share with your favorite pre-teen girl this December.

REAL MERMAIDS DON’T WEAR TOE RINGS is available next month on December 1st. Pre-order your jillion copies now, or head to your local bookstore or library STAT and make sure they’ll be getting it in! show less

Helene Boudreau has written a humorous coming-of-age story; brilliantly combining contemporary and fantasy! I wish that this book was around when I was a tween - so witty, entertaining and fun - loved every second I spent with Jade!

Jade is your average tween just trying to find the perfect swimsuit for her best friend's pool party... so happy to have found the perfect one, she was not prepared for all that happens afterwards!
First period. First crush run-in. Major embarrassing moment with show more Dad in front of first crush.
Could Jade's day get any worse?
How 'bout a giant fish-tail???
Yes. It is completely possible for a bad day to get worse.
Poor Jade! In less than 24 hours, Jade 'becomes a woman' and finds out that she's half human, half mermaid. And that her mother used to be a mermaid too.
Her mother who drowned in the lake last summer.

Everything about Jade, her family and friends, her life seemed so realistic. Her attitude, whit and independence made Jade such a strong character that many girls will love and admire. Jade is inspiring, no matter what happened, she dealt with it the best way she could. And I loved that she was so close to her dad and was able to go to him for anything that she needed help with - including the embarrassing trip to the store! Which made their relationship and story so much more realistic and relatable. There were so many laugh-out-loud moments, I was smiling the entire time. And of course, there were moments where my heart went out to Jade - this is an age where a girl really could use a mother figure and she was truly missing her mom so much, there were quite a few tender moments where she needed her so much.

Oh, and Jade's crush, Luke.
I wasn't sure at first if he was a keeper or not. Still not sure.
But Luke's got a few secrets of his own!
He's a keeper, for now!

Also, the way that the author was able to integrate Jade's transformation from human to mermaid was so natural. Every time it happened it seemed like something normal, something that may actually be able to happen in real life. The changes that Jade went through physically were not simple, but the explanation and details made it seem very believable and mesmerizing.

I am really looking forward to watching Jade grow and blossom, and also learning more about Luke and what has happened to Jade's mom in the next book,
Real Mermaids Don't Hold Their Breath. show less