David Thomas (15) (1970–)

I received this ER book in January, and have been slowly making my way through it ever since. In the interests of full disclosure, I am reading this book not as a parent but as a school psychologist with 30 years of experience in working with boys from preschool through age 13. This book is by two men who are both experienced counselors and fathers, on the topic of raising boys.

It took me a long while to get into this book, reading it as I typically do nonfiction, a section of a chapter a show more night several nights a week. I feared at first it would be one of those pop culture type books, a fear nourished by the cute little labels the authors placed on the different developmental stages. I found it slow going through the first third of the book, when the authors were describing the various developmental stages. Looking back, I think this was because of my familiarity with this information--which would not necessarily be the case with a parent reading this.

When the authors started Part 2: The Mind of a Boy, I perked up. This is my area of expertise, after all. And it was outstanding! The identification of common errors made in dealing with boys and strategies in working with them in brain-compatible ways on top of the descriptions (highly accurate) along with specific mini-sections dealing with major issues raised this book well above the average parenting book.

When I reached Part 3: The Heart of a Boy, I had difficulty putting the book down. I have powered through this section in the last three days! The insight, the specific examples, and the strategies and game plan for nurturing boys to emotionally healthy men are simply outstanding. I now plan to order this book for both of my nephews and their wives because I value its advice for raising their young boys (one age 5, one still in utero) so highly. I also have found rich ideas for strengthening my own counseling interactions with boys in my schools.

Two caveats: 1) the current formatting of the book as an ARC: the inserts about specific problem areas broke into the flow of the chapter text and were hard to read because of the different font. Hopefully, this will be addressed in the final published edition.
2) In the final chapter of the book, "Rituals, Ceremonies, and Rites of Passage", where the authors talk about ways of integrating our boys into the larger society, they make explicit their spiritual connection to God as part of this. If you are an atheist, this may be an issue for you, but it only impacts this chapter and not the many great chapters before it. If you are a member of a religion or agnostic, you will have no difficulty, and indeed, much benefit in incorporating this dimension into your parenting.

Of all the parenting books I have read over the years, and there have been many, this book is simply outstanding and receives my highest rating of 5 stars. I cannot recommend it enough to the parents of boys both for its insights and its suggestions. show less

This book wasn't really for me. Which isn't to say that it's not well researched, well intentioned or well written. It just wasn't my sort of thing. I'm about to have my first baby, and he's a boy, so perhaps I'm not quite the intended audience. I also didn't realize I was receiving a book with Christian parenting advice, either. Had I realized that from the get go, I would have known it wasn't for me. It was generally subtle, but just having the slight Christian overtones was enough. I also show more realized that in the "nature vs. nurture" continuum, my own understanding of human beings slides much more to the side of "nurture" than it seems to do for the authors of this book. Still, it was not without it's moments. I laughed out loud at the description of how best to give directions to young boys....namely, using as few words as possible. My husband has told me the exact same thing about how he'd like me to let him know when I'd like HIM to do something. So, I wish the authors well, and hope readers value the book, but I won't be purchasing any copies for friends or families. show less

Yikes, books like these remind me why I am an athiest. While the book is filled with lots of cute and relateable references to movies and TV shows, it could have been written by the president of the National Rifle Association. The authors try and show us how young boys grow and mature and how we can help them along this journey. Now, this is listed as a Christian book, so I was not shocked at all the references to god, but I am an athiest so anytime you base your premise on the existence of show more a fictional character you are going to lose me. Many alarming things were mentioned: Pornography is evil, masturbation ruins your sex life, homosexuality "might" be wrong to name a few. But the worst was saved for the end, when a few of the tips they suggest to bond with your teenage son were to buy him a pocketknife and go shoot a gun with him. An actual quote from this section was "Nothing says power like firing a weapon." Hmm. Actually I would say that nothing is more dangerous than a religious nutjob with a weapon who thinks that the afterlife is the ultimate goal. Churchies should love this book, those of us with logic and common sense should make sure to avoid it. show less

This book scared me a bit. Okay, a lot. According to the authors, I (and my boys) have so far survived the Explorer phase and they're currently in the Lover stage...but I still have the Individual, Wanderer, and Warrior to get through. Having worked with adolescent boys, I know how...um...interesting those years can be. Luckily, this book does give a lot of good ideas for making those years tolerable.

I wasn't crazy about the religious bent of the book, but I was able to skim through most of show more the blah-blah-blah. The authors make some valid points about raising happy, mature men, but some of their language was a little overly dramatic for my taste.

What I take away from this book: I need to keep loving my boys even when they seem unlovable, force them to spend time with me (and my husband), especially time in nature (which is a big thing for our family already), and maintain my slightly crazy sense of humor both as a way of interacting with them and as a method for coping with their hormone-induced insanity. show less