Mary H.K. Choi

This one’s pretty emotionally dark throughout, touching on eating disorders, cancer, anxiety, etc., it’s the kind of story you’ll need to be in the right headspace for, I definitely preferred reading it in short intervals rather than sitting with it for long stretches.

The entire story is told from Jayne’s point of view, but her sister June’s personality and psychology ended up being of such interest to me that I found myself wishing this had been a duel POV book, I would have show more loved to have spent some time in June’s undoubtedly fascinating head and heart.

My favorite thing about this book was how warts and all it was about its characters and their relationships, how much of a struggle it is for them to connect and reach out, they are messy and ugly at times, even the relationship between the sisters and with their mother has more cringe-inducing moments than heartwarming ones, which made them come across as really human and achingly vulnerable and when those few and far between heartwarming moments do materialize, there’s nothing schmaltzy in them, nothing false.

I imagine some readers would prefer a more traditionally satisfying ending, but given the life-like quality of the story and the fact that mental health and cancer battles don’t tend to wrap up tidily, I was good with things not being tied up in neat little bows here either. show less

Trigger Warnings: eating disorder(s), body dysmorphia, cancer, miscarriage, mental illness

Jayne Baek is struggling, severely. She's just making it through fashion school, her "boyfriend" is a deadbeat, and her "friends" aren't on the best paths themselves. On top of it all, she's battling an eating disorder that she's not ready to confront. But she's in New York, she's no longer stuck in Texas, and the city that never sleeps feels right for her.

Her sister, June, on the other hand, is super show more rich with a well paying finance job and a massive apartment, she's never struggled in her life. Until she finds out she has uterine cancer. Suddenly, the sisters who have never had anything in common are living together. Because, even if they're estranged, sisterly obligations are important when one of you is dying.

* Please be aware! This book provides a deep insight into bulimia and body dysmorphia. If this might be a potential triggering subject, you need to be aware it's in this novel. Please be gentle with yourself.

My honest truth: Jayne Baek made my heart hurt. She's chaotic, anxious, superficial, and painfully comparative to everyone around her. She's a hot mess, on top of a hot mess, with a side of hot mess. But even with all those things, she's one of the most honest, realistically written characters I've read in a long time. Even at times she made me want to scream, I could never truly hate her. Reading Jayne's story was like talking with a close friend - with both the good and the bad.

As a white American woman, I have no personal experience of what it's like to have immigrant parents and how that impacts my identity. This novel explores what it's like being Korean American - the pressures, the responsibilities, the expectations, Jayne covers it. I personally found the novel very insightful.

The relationship between Jayne and her sister June is heartbreaking in it's own way. Jayne believes she's so alone in this world while June does everything she can to protect her. There's a story that's told about June's doll that had me near tears. It takes a while for Jayne to discover just how much she has failed and misjudged June while growing up. This novel really dives into growing from a rocky childhood sibling relationship, to the relationship siblings have once they're out on their own. Mary H.K. Choi beautifully captures the sister dynamic those two share.

This book is going on my "Keep Forever Bookshelf", and I highly recommend this to anyone who wants that connection with the true and raw character that is Jayne. I honestly wouldn't list this as YA - if anything, it would be NEW YA. Jayne is out in college and deals with a lot more mature issues than you find in a typical YA novel. It's a heavy topic book but it's one that shares a story not often told. show less

The Austin setting, the imperfections in the characters appearances and personalities, the quietness of the plot mixed with super talkative relationships, and just the overall slightly less glossy style of story than is often found in contemporary YA had this one reminding me of some of the independent movies I love, kind of Richard Linklater vibes.

I really liked Penny and Sam’s chemistry romantically and better still the friendship underneath the sparks, but I also appreciated that the show more book took the time to fill out their lives apart from each other, their individual artistic pursuits, as well as their complicated family lives and other tentative friendships.

As an added bonus there were a couple secondary characters that I absolutely fell in love with, Jude, Penny’s roommate/Sam’s niece, and Celeste, Penny’s Mom, both brought this big loving (verging on smothering) and vulnerable energy that I found mostly adorable and their personalities beautifully played off of Penny and Sam’s somewhat pricklier natures. show less

With tons of thought and a masterful weave, this book jumps with both legs into tough topics, jerks the emotions all over the place, and leaves a lasting impression.

Beginning college student Jayne's life is tough, and she's fighting an eating disorder among other things. Her sister, June, has the 'perfect' life of luxury...not the Jayne knows her. Jayne's battle with her identity as a 2nd generation Korean, extreme self-critical issues, and general dislike of everything about herself, throws show more her from one disastrous relationship into another. Until she meets June. June has been diagnosed with cancer and has stolen Jayne's identity to claim social health insurance payments to pay for her treatments. While the two aren't about to spend giggly moments together, they might be exactly what they other one needs.

I expected a slightly more whimsical...or at least, not quite so harsh...tale. But this book dives into the darker side of a coming-of-age and other issues. This is not an easy, light read, and not one for less mature readers. Topics such as eating disorders and self-identity issues hit with full force. There is also no pardon when describing certain female issues. Nor is there any halt in the harsher language area. So, this is definitely not a book for everyone. But for those who are ready for such topics...well, they are in for a treat.

This is a very well-woven tale, which digs close to both characters and their issues. And these characters, especially Jayne, are not sweet. The author does an amazing job with Jayne...and not in the expected way. Jayne is a character with more sharp edges, corners and hard spots than any person should have. She is not nice, not sympathetic, and very hard to embrace. And yet, there's something about her which makes this tale stick. I disliked her from beginning to end. Completely. But that is part of the story, and a bit of what makes it as powerful as it is.

Sibling relations, even when they aren't smooth and nice, hold a special significance. June does her best to help Jayne get a grip on her life, and she does this while struggling with cancer. Jayne, on the other hand, doesn't ignore her sister's issues, either, but offers help as needed. It's a strong tale for family and being there for each other no matter what. And that glides along with all of the other themes, each which pack their own punch. The only real criticism I have concerns the ending, which leaves June's condition hanging. So, it feels as if things aren't really wrapped up.

Summed up, this is a book which tackles difficult themes head-on and with grit, roughness, and without a pinch of sugar. But it's powerful and leaves thoughts lingering behind. And that's what a good read is also about.

I received an ARC and found it to be an interesting read. show less