Dana Kollmann
Author of Never Suck A Dead Man's Hand: Curious Adventures of a CSI
About the Author
Works by Dana Kollmann
Tagged
Common Knowledge
- Gender
- female
- Education
- Towson University (BS)
George Washington University (MFS)
American University (MA, PhD) - Occupations
- Forensic Services Technician
associate professor - Short biography
- Dana Kollmann graduated from Towson University in 1990 with a BS degree in anthopology. Due in part to an internship that was set up by her faculty advisor (Dr. Fisher), Dana developed an interest in skeletal biology and forensic archaeology. She went on to complete the MFS (Master of Forensic Science) program at George Washington University, and later earned a MA. and PhD in anthropology from American University.
Dana has 11 years of crime lab experience, ten of which was obtained through her work as a Forensic Services Technician with Baltimore County Police Department. Dana also trained as one of the Department’s shoe and tire examiners. Her experience in forensic archaeology and anthropology has been obtained primarily through her training at the Smithsonian Institution. Dana has a variety of national and international experiences including mass grave exhumation and victim identification in the former Yugoslavia; analysis of Roman plague victims in Croatia; and examination of Mayan skeletal remains excavated from tombs in the Petén region of Guatemala. Dana also does archaeological consulting and is called upon to assist in the exhumation of between 3 and 6 burial sites each year.
Dana’s dissertation published in 2007, entitled Life and Death i n the Eastern Woodlands: A Bioarchaeological Synthesis of Seven Late Woodland Period Mortuary Sites in Maryland, reflects her combined interests in biological anthropology and archaeology. In this study, Dana compared two temporally distinct late prehistoric populations in Maryland’s Upper Potomac Valley and considered the biological consequences associated with the transition to maize agriculture. Ongoing research involves stable isotope analysis to quantify the contribution of maize to the prehistoric diet in populations where this data is unclear.
Dana has authored and co-authored a number of journal articles, technical reports, and recently published Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand: Curious Adventires of a CSI, which details her rather unusual experiences as a CSI. Dana has been an adjunct faculty member at Towson University from 1998 to 2006, an lecturer from 2006-2008, and in the fall of 2008, accepted the position of Assistant Professor. - Places of residence
- Catonsville, Maryland, USA
- Associated Place (for map)
- Maryland, USA
Members
Reviews
This was informative and often extremely funny -- my favorite story being the one where she called a funeral home and asked to buy two coffins for "sixteen dead people in beer boxes in my garage" which she had "dug out of the cemetery and needed to put back." (These were old skeletons from an almshouse cemetery that had been uncovered during some construction and needed to be re-interred elsewhere.) The style of writing reminds me of Mary Roach, which is a high compliment.
Forensic anthropologists come up with weird titles. From Dead Men Do Tell Tales by William R. Maples to Bone Voyage by Stanley Rhine, you can picture the authors giggling to themselves as came up with that "perfect" title. And Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand certainly fits right in, even if the author didn't finish her doctorate until after she spent ten years working for the Baltimore PD as a crime scene investigator. It's her years as a CSI that this book is about. When Kollmann got her job show more as a CSI it was during a difficult period for that department. Previously, the job had been saved for police officers nearing retirement and there was a great deal of resentment aimed at these new civilians now working that job. Kollmann was subjected to cold treatment and some not-entirely-benign hazing but she stuck with it and did her job, often working in terrible conditions.
Kollmann is not a writer and this book would have benefited from some editorial attention. The first half is far better than the second, as Kollmann runs out of stories and fills the pages with the kinds of stories that are only funny after a long day and several beers. Kollmann has had an interesting career, and includes pictures of the archaeological digs she worked on and the work she did in the Balkans identifying victims of that war. Sadly, the pictures were included, but nothing made it into the text of the book, leaving this reader convinced that had she had more time (she admits that she wrote this book while she was working on her dissertation and caring for a baby) and someone to help her with the writing, this would have been an excellent and informative book. show less
Kollmann is not a writer and this book would have benefited from some editorial attention. The first half is far better than the second, as Kollmann runs out of stories and fills the pages with the kinds of stories that are only funny after a long day and several beers. Kollmann has had an interesting career, and includes pictures of the archaeological digs she worked on and the work she did in the Balkans identifying victims of that war. Sadly, the pictures were included, but nothing made it into the text of the book, leaving this reader convinced that had she had more time (she admits that she wrote this book while she was working on her dissertation and caring for a baby) and someone to help her with the writing, this would have been an excellent and informative book. show less
In the interest of full disclosure, Dana Kollman was my forensics professor two years ago. I've heard several of the stories she tells in this book, and I paged through it to see whether she told "the ceiling fan story", which she did. It helps to have a strong stomach. She could've used a better editor, and at times her narrative wanders, but it's still a funny and touching book on real CSIs in the field.
CSI CSI, CSI CSI CSI CSI. CSICSICSI.
Ok, sorry, I just needed to get that out. Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand is a book about forensic science. It is written by a 'crime lab lady' with a morbid sense of humor and a love for dead things. It's also glaringly marketed for fans of the TV show, CSI. The acronym is plastered all over the cover and even loudly proclaims fans of the show will love the book.
The funny part is, the author spends a whole chapter telling you how the real thing is nothing show more like the show, yet despite her seeming intention to distance herself from the inaccurate TV version of her job she frequently refers to it and other television programs in her text. I'm not really sure what she was going for here.
When I first got to know Dana through her book, I really liked her. She described how hard it was the be a female civilian trying to make it in the male-dominated world of police. I was cheering for her, I admired her fortitude and strength, and unwillingness to be intimidated. She seemed smart, funny, and strong, and I really appreciated what she went through to do what she loved.
Unfortunately, as she went on to describe some of the cases she dealt with over the years, I slowly began to hate her. She's snide and immature, there is no wit in her humor, and I found her mean-spirited commentary very off-putting and sometimes even offensive. I get the dark sense of humor, I like the stuff myself, and she needed it considering what she did for a living. And yes, she dealt with lots of bad people and saw lots of bad things. I don't care. That doesn't make her rude attitude acceptable in my book.
She's funny when she talks about herself. I guess because she doesn't have anyone but herself to be the butt of her jokes. The chapters about her schooling, her childhood, some of the mistakes she made or weird circumstances she found herself in, and the actual science were great. Technically the stories were interesting too. I just couldn't enjoy them when she was calling the fat man "front butt" or her repeated descriptions of how ugly certain women were. She just came off as a snotty, judgmental bitch. Sorry. show less
Ok, sorry, I just needed to get that out. Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand is a book about forensic science. It is written by a 'crime lab lady' with a morbid sense of humor and a love for dead things. It's also glaringly marketed for fans of the TV show, CSI. The acronym is plastered all over the cover and even loudly proclaims fans of the show will love the book.
The funny part is, the author spends a whole chapter telling you how the real thing is nothing show more like the show, yet despite her seeming intention to distance herself from the inaccurate TV version of her job she frequently refers to it and other television programs in her text. I'm not really sure what she was going for here.
When I first got to know Dana through her book, I really liked her. She described how hard it was the be a female civilian trying to make it in the male-dominated world of police. I was cheering for her, I admired her fortitude and strength, and unwillingness to be intimidated. She seemed smart, funny, and strong, and I really appreciated what she went through to do what she loved.
Unfortunately, as she went on to describe some of the cases she dealt with over the years, I slowly began to hate her. She's snide and immature, there is no wit in her humor, and I found her mean-spirited commentary very off-putting and sometimes even offensive. I get the dark sense of humor, I like the stuff myself, and she needed it considering what she did for a living. And yes, she dealt with lots of bad people and saw lots of bad things. I don't care. That doesn't make her rude attitude acceptable in my book.
She's funny when she talks about herself. I guess because she doesn't have anyone but herself to be the butt of her jokes. The chapters about her schooling, her childhood, some of the mistakes she made or weird circumstances she found herself in, and the actual science were great. Technically the stories were interesting too. I just couldn't enjoy them when she was calling the fat man "front butt" or her repeated descriptions of how ugly certain women were. She just came off as a snotty, judgmental bitch. Sorry. show less
You May Also Like
Statistics
- Works
- 1
- Members
- 199
- Popularity
- #110,456
- Rating
- 3.8
- Reviews
- 11
- ISBNs
- 9
- Languages
- 1














