Marla Cilley

One of the beautiful, terrible things of knowing someone for a long time is that they know all of your weaknesses and foibles. Take this January, for instance, when I was freaking out about my recent weight gain. M’s response was something along the lines of, “Hmm. I’ll bet it has something to do with the mystery of where all the veggie corn dogs went.” No, I’m kidding. M patiently listens when I get overemotional about gaining weight, but she is also not afraid to call me out on show more the fact that I tend to use eating as a coping mechanism. And so, after I recently hit the highest weight I have ever been, I freaked out and re-rejoined Weight Watchers. M bought me this book.

M loves the FLY Lady, aka Marla Cilley. She frequently cites the FLY lady as having turned her life around, having convinced her to love herself and having revolutionized the way M cleans. I read the website. I was… antagonistic. Cilley’s main mantra is that we have to let go of our inner perfectionist, because no one can be perfect. Thus, you will constantly be comparing yourself to an impossible standard, you will start to feel down and you will give up. Cilley applies this logic to cleaning, housework, family tactical planning, and (in this book) dieting.

If you have any sort of issue with food, I suggest you pick this book up. The ideas can get a little repetitive sometimes, but I think that over-eaters have spent so long negatively hard-wiring our brains that repetition is possibly the only way to get through. This is not a diet book. Instead, it’s more of an attitude makeover towards food. The biggest message I took away from the book was this: aren’t you worth taking care of? Then make the right choice for your health, even if it’s just a tiny choice.
I accept that information. It’s really just the aversion to perfectionism that I am adverse to. The idea that I might try to stifle my inner perfectionist shuts down my brain. Maybe I’m just thinking in too many extremes, but in my mind the projected time span between “ignoring my inner perfectionist” and “dropping out of law school and living on my couch in my pajamas forever” is about three days. But I can also already hear Future M defending her champion, telling me that deciding to not hold yourself to an unreasonable standard does not equate giving up on all achievements or self-improvement. All I need to do is accept that I am a human who gets tired, has a penchant for carbohydrates, and should probably exercise just a bit more (especially as I do really enjoy exercise when I do it). Knowing these things about myself and accepting them will allow me to make better choices about my health.

I should also note that there are these journal exercises at the back of each chapter that are designed to help you figure out why you overeat. What emotional need are you looking to satisfy? What food memories do you have? Stuff like that. I did not do the journal exercises this go round, but will once I go back through the book again in a few months. I’m also going to warn you that this book’s plan has you writing down everything you eat, so be forewarned if you get weird about that (remember— perfectionism is a BAD thing).

Rating: 4 stars- This will be on my non-fiction, re-read guide pile. However, I am still reluctant to let go of my inner perfectionist. Sorry FLY Lady. I’m working on it, but I’m not there yet. I do think that anyone on Weight Watchers should check this book out though— there’s a lot of overlap about the attitude towards food stuff. show less

I liked the friendly tone to this housekeeping tip book. It was a very quick read, but one I’ll need to page back through to remind myself of the tips I want to follow. The thing I like most is her emphasis on not being a perfectionist about cleaning. Her take is perfectionism causes procrastination—people don’t want to start anything they don’t have time to do perfectly (and maybe she’s equating perfection with thoroughness a bit here). Time is definitely my setback, and I’m show more very skilled at making it a versatile setback. For work days, it’s “I work all day, so I want to rest when I get home and not spend it cleaning.” For days off, it’s “It’s my day off. I want to have fun, not clean.” Yes, I’m very talented.

With each chapter (they’re extremely short, so it’s easy to scan back through for what you want to reread) she emphasizes how little time different tasks can take. “Set your timer,” she says, and then she’ll outline a 5, 10, or 15-minute cleaning job you can do. It doesn’t have to be perfect—doing a little bit is better than waiting until you can spend a thousand hours on it (side note: the time estimate in my household for any unpleasant task is “5,000 years”).

These short tasks are meant to be worked into routines until they become habits. The author spent a year devoting a month per habit in order to get her act together. I’m not ready to launch into that, but I do plan to try a few things out.

What I’ll probably try:
1. The author’s crisis cleaning techniques
2. Using old shampoos as makeshift cleaning products (gets rid of stray bottles without wasting the little bits of leftover soap that are keeping you from throwing them out)
3. Extinguish my hot spots (drop/piling points for stuff when I get home from work)
4. Clearing surfaces and finding a home for everything (this one’s hard because I don’t have a lot of space, but I admit it looks better).
5. Store extra sheets folded flat under the mattress (genius!)
6. Sneak attacks (5-minute cleaning forays) on the basement and “computer room” which no longer has a computer but is filled with stuff

What I probably won’t try:
1. The author’s sticky note system
2. Getting dressed “to the shoes” before I start my day.
3. Getting rid of books to make room on shelves (someday, FlyLady, but today is not that day)
4. Get rid of old t-shirts, even ones with sentimental value (No can do. I need my old gymnastics t-shirt from 4th grade. Besides, my teddy bear is wearing it. Do you want Teddy to be naked? What? I should do what with Teddy???)
5. Do a load of laundry a day (we are a household of two)

I would have loved to see a chapter or two dedicated to apartments and small homes. I hate cleaning, true, but part of my problem is definitely limited space. I don’t have a linen closet to clean out and convert into a pantry, for example.

This book is as much about being kind to yourself as it is about improving your home and developing good habits. Worth a look for folks who feel overwhelmed by a messy house. show less

There are so many diet books on the market. There are so many ways to be constantly reminded of how you are not eating and exercising correctly. Fly Lady goes beyond the obvious. She delves into other areas we must all consider: socially, mentally, physically, etc... This book has gems of information that are really not addressed in most diet/nutrition/exercise books. It is worth reading slowly and taking notes. Each person is different, and this book addresses way more reasons that could show more sabotage weight loss goals. To me it was also inspiring. She mentioned dressing for the body you have in an ATTRACTIVE way. Your number does not dictate your beauty. You should only wear items and colors that make yourself happy. I rated this book five stars because if you keep the book, and your life situation changes, you can always go back to remind yourself how to handle the stresses of life that may be keeping you from your goals. show less

This was very interesting as a lot of home organisation guides I have read go into minute detail on how to clean this or that *perfectly* whereas Marla’s chief aim is to get you into the habit of gradually chipping away at the home and bringing about gradual change to the level of comfort in the home. This means that you don’t get the “WOW moment” till possibly a few weeks in, but it does help develop habits that would stick and make for a routine that becomes much more natural to show more maintain. show less