Christa Parravani

The Urban Dictionary defines a "hot mess" as "When [one's] thoughts or appearance are in a state of disarray but [he or she] they maintain[s] an undeniable attractiveness or beauty." Hot mess is just the term for twins Cara and Christa Parravani. Abandoned by their father as children, the two sisters spent their twenties going from man to man and substance to substance. They had a seriously codependent relationship with each other; Cara begged Christa and her new husband to let her (Cara) show more join them on their honeymoon. After Cara was the victim of a devastating rape, she fell into a downward spiral that ended in her death. Surviving twin Christa, the author of this affecting memoir, had to learn a new way of living as a "twinless twin". I highly recommend this beautifully written and compelling memoir. show less

Christa and Cara are identical twins who embody the myth of closeness - two people, one soul. Their bond is not only forged from biology and the womb but strengthened by overcoming a difficult childhood and all adversities that come with poverty and abuse.
But, what happens when one twin starts to spiral out of control? Does the other twin remain independently strong or does she get dragged down with her mirror image sibling? When Cara survives a brutal rape the violence never leaves her show more mind and she embarks on a journey full of drugs and self destruction. The more Cara sinks into depression and recklessness the more Christa struggles to stay above her sister's chaos. Christa wrestles with finding the delicate balance between loving her sister and wanting to save herself. This becomes especially dangerous when she is desperate to save her sister at the risk of losing herself. Finally, when faced with failure Christa has the seemingly insurmountable task of extracting her life from that of her sister's. To look into Cara's coffin was to see herself. Part Two of her is Christa's journey to find herself; to crawl out from under the mountain of grief; to be her own singular person.

Postscript ~ Being very familiar with the area where Cara was raped I refrained from looking at Christa's photography until I was finished with the book. I have to be honest, the photographs are so striking I kept returning to them. They add an air of quiet melancholy and bring Cara and Christa's "twinness" into sharper focus. I would say to add more of these photographs to the memoir would make the story even more haunting (if that was even possible). show less

Her is a memoir written by Christa Parravani. Christa's sister Cara died from a drug overdose sending her sister spiraling into grief. This is very well written and quite possibly one of the saddest books I've ever read. After just a few pages in I had to go look for myself of the photographs of Christa and Cara on the website mentioned in the letter that accompanied the book. I think this will be one of those books that I think about long after the last page.

This raw memoir, a love letter to the author's twin, broke my heart. It took me much longer than usual to finish this book because the story drained me emotionally.

After the death of a twin, the surviving sibling's chance of long term survival decreases dramatically. Christa Parravani was on the path to become another statistic after her twin, Cara, died of a drug overdose in her bathroom, but pulled herself out of the spiral of self-destructive behavior and found redemption through the show more writing process.

Any writer can understand how putting pen to paper has the power to heal. This book made my heart ache but also renewed my faith in the power of words. show less