Lauren Drain

When she was 14 years old, Lauren Drain’s father set out to make a documentary about the Westboro Baptist Church, but became an adherent instead. He moved this wife and two daughters from Florida to Topeka so they could all join the church. Her mother was reluctant at first but acquiesced.

Drain tells her story of trying to be an obedient daughter and faithful follower of the church while also increasingly questioning those practices. As she grew older, the church grew more radical. They show more had been picketing for many years, but then they began to attend military funerals and celebrating the deaths of 9/11. When she would speak up regarding inconsistencies in the church’s doctrine, she was shut down and shamed.

When she was caught speaking to a man through email who was not a member of the church, she was reprimanded and put on house arrest, only allowed to leave under strict guidelines. She still managed to communicate with her fellow, though, and was found out. One day she came home from work and was told to leave and never come back. She hasn’t seen anyone from the church since, including her parents and siblings.

She has come to see the church as a cult and is glad she is no longer a part of it. While reading this book, I couldn’t help but think of how much damage this situation must have done to her. Being told you are shameful and going to hell and then being abandoned by your family is devastating. Trying to find a new belief system after seven years of indoctrination must have been confusing. She seems to have come out if it well, though I’m sure there is still some injury. show less

Very, very disturbing. These people aren't Christian, they belong to a nasty cult. The double-standard in the church, the Phelps spawn get second chances, while those not of the clan, get held to a higher standard and then tossed out on their ears for minor infractions.

She "escapes" aka "gets banished" and ends up finding a new spiritual teacher in Arnold Murray's televised bible studies. Um...the same Arnold Murray that the Southern Poverty Law Center monitors for preaching Christian Identity teachings? I can't help but feel that Lauren Drain wrote this book before she was really ready to.

It gives some insight into the inner workings of the WBC, but it isn't able to touch on how someone rebuilds their life after an extreme experience like that, which I show more think is why some of the other reviewers felt she came off a "whiny" or only unhappy with the church now that she is banished from it. And, I'm hoping, why she ends the book with the "fascinating" teachings of a preacher with close ties to the white supremacist movement...

Maybe who she is barely two years after leaving a highly controlling environment is who she will always be, but, at least based on the public statements of two of Phelps' sons who left much earlier, healing and finding one's own identity after being part of a fringe group like the WBC is a very long road. The book written two years after leaving can't possibly capture that.

Also, found the totally weird and abusive dynamic of her nuclear family really compelling. Like her father started hitting her and calling her a whore for flirting with a boy in Jr high. Also, as she got older her mother had her raise her two younger siblings beginning in high school and continuing through college. The weirdest of all was her parents taking out a credit card in her name to pay for extravagant upgrades to the house, her father's camera equipment, and the down payment on a truck (F-150 naturally) that the college student then had to pay off in addition to paying her own college tuition. Girl definitely got dealt a bum hand because, at least how she tells it, the people around her seemed to keep her around to use her and then discarded her when they were done with her. show less

At fifteen Lauren Drain moved from Florida to Kansas with her family to join the Westboro Baptist Church, famous for picketing the funerals of American soldiers killed in battle with huge signs and shouted slogans denouncing homosexuality. The church and its teachings were her world for eight years, and then she was banished. While a member of the church she embraced its belief in a wrathful God bent on punishing just about everyone. She didn’t see the church’s protest messages as show more hateful--she saw passion, bravery, and superior reasoning ability, and was proud, at the time, to be a member of the group.

As someone interested trying to understand people’s motivations, beliefs, and behavior I found Lauren’s story fascinating and moving. She wanted to be a full and faithful member of the Westboro Baptist Church, but not being part of the Phelps family she always felt some insecurity, and her need to seek clarification on several Biblical issues got her branded as a trouble maker. When even her family turned their backs on her, she was forced to find a new way to live and think. Lauren writes about the evolution of her beliefs and actions with openness and honesty. It’s a mesmerizing and often heartbreaking book, which she ends with an apology for the hurt she has caused. show less