Rob Delaney

"A heart that hurts is a heart that works." -Juliana Hatfield (epigraph)

Delaney's memoir about his son Henry's sickness, diagnosis, treatment, and death doesn't mince words or feelings, and doesn't have any spare words either: it communicates, as well as anything can, what it was like for him and his family to go through loving, caring for, and losing Henry.

Quotes

That is one thing grief does to me. It makes me want to make you understand. It makes me want you to understand.
I want you to show more understand. (10)

It often felt like we were falling down a flight of stairs in slow motion. with each successive piece of bad news we got. (52)

Grandparent deaths are like practice deaths, a step above pet deaths, to help you have the barest preparation for a truly painful death. (148)

...one of those ancillary pains that accompany your child's death, like a barnacle on the whale swimming in and out of your guts day and night...You really can't even imagine the compound horrors that build up around the dying and the death itself and threaten to choke you. (150) show less

I don't think I've ever read such a funny, horrible book. If you are familiar with Rob Delaney you know what you are getting as you begin, and of course a comedian manages to be funny about the all too short life and death of his son. I wish I had taken longer to read this book to savor it, instead I tore right through.

The absolute best of the genre, comparable to modern memoir masterpieces like _Wave_ or _When Breath Becomes Air_

I hope writing this helped Rob and his family deal with this show more terrible loss. show less

Rob Delaney, one of my favorite comedians, lived through the illness and death of his two year old son, Henry, after a year of treatment for brain cancer. This book gives us the humanity, humor, anger, vulnerability, and honesty that fans expect from Delaney, who previously exposed and incorporated his "rock bottom" and addiction recovery into his stand up. This memoir is rough but so readable and, as a full grown adult woman living with a terminal illness there is so much I can relate to in show more his son's unexpected entry into the medical industrial complex and the reactions of "normies" when encountering a family going through something so unfixable and hard. Also made me wish I lived in England with their national health care system! A great book to read if you want some perspective on the human condition, a primer on what to say and not to say to someone dealing with unimaginable grief, and the serious love of a father for his sons and a man for his wife. As a wife I do feel like the 100% support super love explosion aspects of the story of their relationship sometimes wore a little thin but, hey, Rob Delaney seems pretty authentic so perhaps that is just how things roll with him. This is a strangely effective balm to the soul of anyone going through something hard, and a good reminder that we never really know exactly what is going on in the lives of the friends and strangers around us. It is also heartbreaking but at the same time frequently very very funny. (Finally, I am gobsmacked that Delaney wrote and filmed the third season of Catastrophe while Henry was in treatment and the fourth season after he died -- if you haven't watch it yet and you enjoy good and funny television, you should check it out!) show less

A book can only ever be reviewed in the context of what it aims to be. This is a deeply personal, warm, and raw expression of grief, and it succeeds entirely on its own terms. I read this shortly after my son was born, and it spoke powerfully to the quiet, universal fears that many parents recognise but rarely articulate. Rob Delaney is a wonderful man.