A. Lee Martinez

If you're looking for something light, fun, and more than a little weird to pass away a long car ride or two, listen to the audiobook version of "Gil's All Fright Diner" and join two good old boys, crossing the desert in a beat-up pick-up. Earl, the skinny, anxious, vocal one is a vampire. Duke the over-large taciturn guy is a werewolf. Nearly out of gas and in need of food, they stop at Gil's All Night Diner, only to find themselves involved in the local zombie problem.

After that, it starts show more to get weird.

A dark irreverence powers the humour in this book as it pokes a stick at the horror genre from the Dark God's of H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos through to Scott Stewart's "Legion". (except the book was 2005 and Legion was 2010 - but you know what I mean).

The cast of characters is broad but familiar, the canny sheriff, the robust, shotgun-toting woman running the Diner, the teen-nymphete with dangerous ambitions, and a cute ghost dog. If you're still not sure of the kind of book this is,then I have two words for you: Zombie Cows.

If you set this to music and added some dance numbers, you'd have another Rocky Horror Show on your hands.

What made this more than an extended sketch was the characters of Duke and Earl and the relationship between them. It was solid and believable, even taking into account their respective species.

Fred Berman did a fine job with the narration of this tale. The voices of all the characters fit but the voices of Duke and Earl are perfect. show less

This book makes my brain hurt. It’s a story published in 2008, set in the future but written in a 1940s noir style from the point of view of someone in the 1970s. If that doesn’t make your head spin, you’re not a biological as they say in this world.

Our hero is Mack Megaton, a 716 lb. robot, built by an evil criminal mastermind to be an enforcer but now working as a cabbie in Empire, (aka Mutantburg. Robotville. The Big Gray Haze, or The City That Never Functions). When one of his show more human friends and her children get kidnapped by a four-armed mutant, Mack sets out to track them down and rescue them.

What really makes this story is the author’s keen ear for dry noir humor and his tongue-in-cheek style ability to create a world where a beautiful dame like Lucia Napier, could fall for a big, and I mean big, bot like Mack. I also loved how Martinez slipped in the cynical philosophizing that is a quintessential part of all noir fiction. After all, ” A bot had to find his own way, and I’d figured out that functioning for function’s sake was pointless. The real question was finding a directive worth getting scrapped for.”
4 stars
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FYI: On a 5-point scale I assign stars based on my assessment of what the book needs in the way of improvements:
*5 Stars – Nothing at all. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
*4 Stars – It could stand for a few tweaks here and there but it’s pretty good as it is.
*3 Stars – A solid C grade. Some serious rewriting would be needed in order for this book to be considered great or memorable.
*2 Stars – This book needs a lot of work. A good start would be to change the plot, the character development, the writing style and the ending.
*1 Star - The only thing that would improve this book is a good bonfire. show less

ORIGINALLY POSTED AT Fantasy Literature.

Everyone knows that that the invertebrates of Neptune are the most intelligent minds in the galaxy. That�??s how, years ago, a bored mollusk from Neptune was able to conquer the Earth and set himself up as Warlord. To subdue the planet he had to use a few nasty tricks such as doping the water supply with anti-aggression drugs, but now that he has all of humanity under his tentacle, Emperor Mollusk is actually a pretty swell guy and he has even show more developed a soft spot (or should I say ƒ??softer spotƒ?) for planet Earth, though heƒ??ll be quick to tell you that heƒ??s not reformed ƒ?? just retired. Nowadays, he spends most of his time tinkering in his laboratory and coming up with ways to solve Earthƒ??s numerous problems. He fixed the energy crisis long ago and so far heƒ??s been able to protect Earth from aliens from Mars, Venus, and Saturn. Pretty good for a slimy cephalopod that you could easily squash under the heel of your boot.

Unfortunately, most of Emperor Molluskƒ??s experiments on Earth tend to cause unexpected and dastardly consequences, and the emperor usually ends up needing to develop even more brilliant solutions to the problems he created. Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain is an account of the Emperorƒ??s various adventures as he attempts to save humans from all the disasters that would not have befallen them if the Emperor had never set his slippery tentacle on the planet in the first place. Disasters such as an island of radioactive dinosaurs, giant fireants, missing countries, an anti-time radio, and the rampaging brain of Madam Curie. He even has to deal with assassins from Atlantis, killer scorpions, a clone of himself, and the sinister brain who wants to challenge him for world domination.

Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain, A. Lee Martinezƒ??s newest novel, is a hilariously wacky story with a preposterous premise, impossible characters, and an absurd plot. Iƒ??m rather picky about humorous fantasy so Iƒ??m surprised that I enjoyed the non-stop comedy here, but Martinez has his pacing down and he knows exactly when to stop. I like Martinezƒ??s bizarre situations and droll sense of humor, and he balances all of it with a well-developed protagonist who we canƒ??t help but love, even though heƒ??s slimy (literally) and he keeps telling us heƒ??s an evil overlord.

Fans of Douglas Adamsƒ?? THE HITCHHIKERƒ??S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY shouldnƒ??t miss Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain. Let me highly recommend the audio version produced by Audible Frontiers and performed by actor Scott Aiello. This was the first time Iƒ??d heard Mr. Aiello (he is a new narrator) and I was extremely impressed with his performance ƒ?? he made the novel even funnier. He was absolutely perfect for this role and I look forward to hearing more from him in the future. show less

Although the Robinsons--Teri and Phil, a nice young couple--have never before felt the need to hook up with a personal god, as Divine Misfortune opens they've recently been rethinking that stance. Phil's once again been passed up for a promotion, and this time it's patently clear that if he'd been paying obeisance to even a minor deity he would have been on more equal footing with the guy who got it.

And so, after going back and forth on it--Phil wants one, Teri doesn't, then he changes his show more mind, then she does--they settle in to watch videos on Pantheon.com. Since any deity who has to resort to personals is by definition not a deity much in demand, the videos tend toward the cheesy.

"Hello. My name is Anubis. I like long walks on the beach, carrying departed souls into the underworld, and the cinema of Mr. Woody Allen."

Eventually they find one they can agree on. Luka, god of prosperity and good fortune, who's got a racoon head and a fresh, open attitude.

"Let's be honest here. You don't care about what I like or don't. You just want to know what I can give you and what I want in return. I've seen better days. Kind of ironic, considering I'm a god of luck...All I really need is a fresh start, and maybe that's all you need, too. I don't need your blood. None of that animal sacfice nonsense. You won't have to mutilate yourself or promise to wear your shoes backward or leave the lid off your trash can."

They click the proper button (which does require a bit of blood from each of them), and as they're wondering whether Luka's idol will be delivered to them or if they'll have to pick it up, the doorbell rings. It's not an idol, it's Luka ("Call me Lucky") himself, and he's moving in.

Hilarity ensues.

As the Robinsons learn, even when a god of prosperity and good fortune is living with you, you still have to take the occasional bad hair day along with all the change you find in the sofa cushions. And when that god has a millennia-long feud with another ancient deity, and is being stalked by yet another, it begins to seem that their karmic wheel is continuing to tilt in the wrong direction despite the tribute they're paying by having Lucky (and his buddy Quetzalcoatl--just call him Quick--laying low for a few centuries after the debacle of having let his worshipper base fall to the conquistadores) live with them. I mean, sure, Teri's car miraculously avoids being crushed by the giant truck that rolls over it in a multi-car pileup she's involved in...but would the pileup even have happened if Lucky hadn't come to stay?

A. Lee Martinez is a master of the light and antic, action-packed but still intelligent science fiction romp. His novels are populated with gods and monsters and demons and other supernatural beings, all just trying to make their way in the modern world alongside their mundane planet-mates, people. If you want a full course meal, go ahead and settle in with Neil Gaiman's American Gods. But if you want a delicious puff pastry appetizer or a sweet and wonderful dessert, then pick up one of Martinez's books. You'll certainly want more, but you just as certainly won't be unsatisfied. show less