S. G. Browne

So, the idea here is that every so often, for some reason, a dead body happens to reanimate after a few days as a zombie. Zombies have all the same memories, thoughts, and feelings (well, OK, emotions) as they did before death, but society regards them as lower than animals. Andy, who recently lost both his wife and his Breather status in a car crash, is not happy about this. Andy wants civil rights. He wants self-respect. He wants love. And he wants some more of that mystery meat his new show more zombie buddy is hoarding in his secret hideout...

Despite a zinger of an opening, this book took a little while to really get going for me, and early on I found myself reflecting that it wasn't nearly as broadly comedic as I was expecting. But it has a sly, gruesome, incredibly dark sense of humor that sneaks up on you like a zombie in a dark graveyard, and after a while I suddenly realized I was enjoying the heck out of it.

It's not for the faint of stomach, or for those who might find it disturbing not to know quite who they ought to be rooting for. But if you have a twisted sense of humor and like your comedy dark, this one is definitely worth checking out. show less

Breathers is a wonderful novel which breaks with many Zombie stereotypes. Andy, a recently reanimated Zombie, is the sympathetic anti-hero of this tale. Living in the wine cellar of his parents, despised and feared by the general populace and with no rights whatsoever, he has to make the best of his undeath. Once Andy starts attending a support group, things slowly start looking up for him. The Zombie cast of this book is entirely believable and their toil is described with lots of humor and show more a level of detail which makes you wonder whether the author has a Zombie hidden in his wine cellar too. A must-read for Zombie fans and highly recommended for anyone interested in humorous and a little bit off-beat fiction. show less

Zombies Are People Too!

“The question is not, "Can they reason?" nor, "Can they talk?" but "Can they suffer?”
― Jeremy Bentham, The Principles of Morals and Legislation

"Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?"

Andy Warner reanimated three months ago, but so far his "second chance" at life has him wishing that his DNA had just let him RIP. His wife Rachel is dead, killed in the same car accident that claimed Andy's life. Since the undead have no rights to speak of, custody of his daughter show more Annie was handed over to Rachel's sister and her husband; Andy can't even stalk her on Facebook, since zombies are prohibited from using the Internet. Forced to move back in with the 'rents after rising from the dead, Andy spends his days chugging wine and watching reruns in their wine cellar. His mother is physically repulsed by him, and his father - never the warm and cuddly type - openly loathes him.

Andy's only respite is the local chapter of Undead Anonymous (UA). There's Rita, the sexy suicide/formaldehyde fetishist Andy's falling for; Jerry, a fellow vehicular casualty who delights in showing off his exposed brain; Naomi, the biracial, chain-smoking zombie whose empty eye socket makes a convenient ashtray; kind-hearted Tom, mauled to death by dogs; and surly sourpuss Carl, who was knifed to death. Led by Helen - a counselor in her first life - the members of the group attempt to navigate a hostile world, where even the slightest misstep could land them in the pound. Even though the vast majority of zombies don't consume human flesh, they are nonetheless feared and reviled by Breathers.

Andy and his adopted family are content to toe the line - that is, until fellow group member Walter is attacked and dismembered by a group of men, thus igniting an act of civil disobedience. And when Tom loses an arm to a fraternity pledge prank, Andy and Company do the one thing they're never supposed to do: take revenge on the living. The Santa Cruz zombies are getting restless. But is their activism due to a newfound sense of purpose in life - or the "venison" given to them by a free-living zombie named Ray? (Spoiler alert: the jarred meat is Breather!)

Breathers: A Zombie's Lament is a darkly funny and sometimes poignant read. I especially love the little details: Andy's constant refrain of "if you've never....then you wouldn't understand." ("If you've never seen someone get his arm torn out of his socket by a gang of drunk college fraternity boys who slapped him in the face with his own hand, then you probably wouldn't understand.") Andy's adorably morbid haikus ("lips colored crimson / dead flesh like alabaster / my lifeless heart pounds"). The gruesome mother-son bonding moments between Andy and his mom. Helen's comically optimistic mantras (still better than Ted the psychiatrist).

Animal people might also enjoy the parallels drawn between the treatment of nonhuman animals and zombies, which are many and begin at the moment of a zombie's reanimation. New zombies are captured by Animal Control and taken to the SPCA, where their families are given a week to claim them. Those unlucky enough to reanimate while not carrying a valid form of ID are held for three days before being turned over to the county. Unwanted or troublesome zombies can meet any one of a myriad of horrific fates: they may be salvaged for spare parts. Used in medical experiments. Made into crash test dummies. Chained up on forensic research facilities and left to rot. Still others might be sent to zombie zoos or cast on zombie reality shows. Much like nonhuman animals, human cruelty towards zombies knows no bounds.

All zombies are required to register with the County Department of Resurrection, where they're issued ID tags, just like companion dogs and cats. Zombies are prohibited from harming (or even inconveniencing) Breathers, even in self-defense. Much like "dangerous" animals, dangerous zombies are earmarked for destruction. Zombie attacks are granted excessive media coverage (think "Shark Week"), while acts of zombie kindness (or even normalcy) go ignored.

In fact, the only humans who treat zombies with some modicum of respect, Andy notes, are the SPCA employees. In an attempt to save unwanted zombies from being tortured or destroyed, the local SPCA has even initiated a companion zombie program and attempted to find foster homes for those zombies who don't have a human guardian to claim them.

Particularly touching is the passage in which Andy - issued a rare invite upstairs, to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner at the table, in the company of the living - begins to relate to the animal on his plate:

So I keep quiet and eat my dinner and look around the table, at my disappointed mother and my brooding father, at all of the food and splendor of this silent, oppressive Thanksgiving feast, until my gaze falls on the turkey with its blistered skin and its vanishing flesh. The more I stare at it, the more I realize that I can relate to it, empathize with it, and it strikes me how much we have in common. True, it's dead and cooked and partially devoured, but is that so different from me?

As it's slowly consumed, the bones appear bit by bit, the cartilage and ribs revealing themselves as meat is stripped from the skeleton. Eventually, it will be nothing but a carcass. And I wonder: am I being destroyed by Breathers? [...]

The longer I stare at the turkey, the more I begin to feel a sort of kinship with it. The more I see it as a metaphor of my current existence. The more I begin to understand why Tom would want to become a vegetarian.

Andy's contemplations give way to a hilarious scene that ends in a father-son tug-of-war over the dismembered bird.

Still, it'd be a stretch to call Breathers vegan-friendly; even though it's completely unnecessary, Andy and his friends continue to consume animal meat out of habit. Tom the "vegetarian" eats fishes (but at least Jerry calls him out on it). And of course by story's end, the "neo-Breathers" are consuming human flesh by the bucketful.

Overall, I found myself pleasantly surprised by Breathers: A Zombie's Lament; comparisons to Max Brooks aren't off the mark. I can't wait to pick up the sequel, I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus (though part of me wants to save it for next December, to get me in the holiday spirit. Nothing says "Christmas" quite like zombies.)

http://www.easyvegan.info/2015/01/09/breathers-a-zombies-lament-by-s-g-browne/ show less

In Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament by S.G. Browne we are introduced to Andy, a recently reanimated corpse. He and his undead friends attend a Zombie Self Help Group as they try to come to terms with their new lifestyle and find a purpose and reason for their existence. Andy died in a horrific car accident that also took his wife. He reanimated but she remained dead. His closest friend now is Rita who committed suicide only to find herself having to live out her life as an “undead". There show more are many rules and regulations to being a zombie, and if they step out of line they are gathered up by the SPCA and held until a guardian pays a fine, upon which they are released into the guardian’s custody. Andy lives in his parents wine cellar in the basement, his mother tries to find common ground with him, but his father is simply disgusted.

Things start to change when Andy accepts the offer of food from a new zombie acquaintance. Supposedly a jar of venison, this meat taste delicious and leaves him craving more. As he and his friends eat more of this marvellous meat, they notice some changes occurring. They are healing, Andy’s speech is rapidly improving and then, one day first Rita and then Andy realize that their hearts have started up. Of course they soon realize that what they are eating is human flesh.

At times both funny and thoughtful, Breathers: a Zombie’s Lament, is an original look at zombies. I admit to feeling a good deal of sympathy for Andy, even as I cringed and snickered at the black humour. A different, unique read that was good enough that I can even forgive the author for putting me off BBQ Ribs. show less