Gerta Ital (1904–1988)

In the tradition of Zen Buddhism, satori is an immediate direct seeing into our own true inner nature. And through the experience of satori, our entire outlook and dealing with the world takes a radical shift. When hearing such language, many of us imagine a monk meditating in silence. However, as curious and unbelievable as it may seem, such a sharp, abrupt, instant opening in our mind can happen anywhere, at any time. Case in point, my first satori happened in the most unlikely spot in the world - a college locker room before running out for football practice. Some years ago I wrote a poem about my sudden shock (I changed the names to protect the not-so-innocent).

THE TROLL

“Every time I lose a game
I go right away to the bathroom and puke.”
This is what head coach Jock Tallum said
Down in Moosetown Southern at the start of
His pep talk one muggy, sticky September afternoon
In the locker room before a Tuesday practice.
“When I lose a game I just gotta puke.”
He even mimed puking.

I’m sitting there in the locker room
Thinking this is one of the
Ugliest men I’ve ever had the misfortune of
Being around.
And this is one of the ugliest group of people
I’ve ever been around.
And this is one of the ugliest situations I’ve ever
Been in.
The whole scene jolted me,
Slapped me in the face,
Hit me over the head.
I woke up, woke up enough to remain seated
When all the players and coaches rushed
Out to the practice field.

“I just gotta puke.”
I got up, walked over to the equipment room,
Took off my pads, handed them
To the equipment manager and told him
I quit.
One of the smartest things I’ve ever done.

The next morning I had a class in the humanities
Where the professor spoke about the beauty of
Classical music and played a piano sonata by
Frédéric Chopin.
Ah, how refreshing.
How uplifting.
How exhilarating.
Such beauty, I reflected, is what I would like my life to
Be like from now on.

During the following week,
When a few of my college buddies asked
About me quitting the football team
I told them about Jock Tallum’s
Puking and said I certainly don’t want to do anything
That would cause him to puke after a game.
I still could see short, fat Jock Tallum
In his baseball cap and T-shirt and gym shorts,
A disgusting little troll,
Miming how he would puke.

Never again.
Never again.
Never again.… (more)

In the tradition of Zen Buddhism, satori is an immediate direct seeing into our own true inner nature. And through the experience of satori, our entire outlook and dealing with the world takes a radical shift. When hearing such language, many of us imagine a monk meditating in silence. However, as curious and unbelievable as it may seem, such a sharp, abrupt, instant opening in our mind can happen anywhere, at any time. Case in point, my first satori happened in the most unlikely spot in the world - a college locker room before running out for football practice. Some years ago I wrote a poem about my sudden shock (I changed the names to protect the not-so-innocent).

THE TROLL

“Every time I lose a game
I go right away to the bathroom and puke.”
This is what head coach Jock Tallum said
Down in Moosetown Southern at the start of
His pep talk one muggy, sticky September afternoon
In the locker room before a Tuesday practice.
“When I lose a game I just gotta puke.”
He even mimed puking.

I’m sitting there in the locker room
Thinking this is one of the
Ugliest men I’ve ever had the misfortune of
Being around.
And this is one of the ugliest group of people
I’ve ever been around.
And this is one of the ugliest situations I’ve ever
Been in.
The whole scene jolted me,
Slapped me in the face,
Hit me over the head.
I woke up, woke up enough to remain seated
When all the players and coaches rushed
Out to the practice field.

“I just gotta puke.”
I got up, walked over to the equipment room,
Took off my pads, handed them
To the equipment manager and told him
I quit.
One of the smartest things I’ve ever done.

The next morning I had a class in the humanities
Where the professor spoke about the beauty of
Classical music and played a piano sonata by
Frédéric Chopin.
Ah, how refreshing.
How uplifting.
How exhilarating.
Such beauty, I reflected, is what I would like my life to
Be like from now on.

During the following week,
When a few of my college buddies asked
About me quitting the football team
I told them about Jock Tallum’s
Puking and said I certainly don’t want to do anything
That would cause him to puke after a game.
I still could see short, fat Jock Tallum
In his baseball cap and T-shirt and gym shorts,
A disgusting little troll,
Miming how he would puke.

Never again.
Never again.
Never again.… (more)