Bess Kalb

You don't have to be Jewish...any woman with a beloved grandma or mom will cherish this rendering of the author's conversations with her bubbe (grandmother) Bobby. Bess is guided - pushed and pulled, really - into the life Bobby thinks she wants and deserves. It's the overwhelming love that prevents Bess from killing Bobby, who is the ultimate Judgy McJudgface. Their interactions flow like the best comedy routines, even when Bobby is opining from beyond the grave, on the day of her death and show more beyond. This is a comic memoir to be savored more than once. It actually should be purchased in multiples and shared with those you love most, maybe the very same ones who make you meshuggah (crazy) and verklempt (teary).

Quotes: "Bessie, if you try on a dress and you don't immediately want to parade outside the dressing room and show it off to everyone in the store, take it off and forget it ever existed."

"San Francisco is for people who wear polar fleece to restaurants and try to convince each other to go camping."

"You must always blot your lipstick or it'll clump up and settle around the edges and you'll look like an old fortune teller."

"You've reached for me privately when you've been scared. I have no control over any of those things. What am I - a magical ghost? If the plane goes down, don't blame me. That's the last thing I need." show less

This is a lovely memoir about the relationship between Bess Kalb and her Grandma Bobby. Masterfully written in the voice of Grandma Bobby who has died, the book runs the range of emotions- laughter, tears, love. Their loving relationship is revealed through oral narratives, conversations, emails, phone calls, voicemails, and photos. You can’t help laughing at the Jewish grandmother telling her granddaughter how to live her life and the granddaughter’s respectful responses.

I loved this so much. As someone who also has a strong matriarchal narrative tradition in my family, Bobbie's voice through Bess felt familiar.
Our matriarch died several years ago and while we don't have voicemail recordings I can still hear her Jersey accent in my head, "How yah doin'? You good? You gotta a man yet?"
Bess Kalb's family story is fascinating and fun, even with all the challenging parts and the heartache we know is coming.
I finished it and immediately handed it off to my show more mother who I knew would recognize the stories and the voice very much like the women in our family.
The ending is especially powerful as we collectively grapple with how much is truth? How much do we really know what someone wanted? How much do we really know those we love? High recommend. show less

What a treasure. I giggled on just about every page and broke down and wept on five pages. A sublime yet down-to-earth story "narrated" by the author's late grandmother. Some of it is written from memory and some is drawn from precious never-deleted Grandma voicemails.

Kalb's grandmother, who had Russian Jewish immigrant parents, pulls no punches in giving "her angel" granddaughter "Bessie" her opinions about everything, from men to money to cosmetics.

"Grandma Bobbie" relates her amazing show more history in Brooklyn and Manhattan, in detail, and she is frank about her personal failings in raising Bess's mother, with whom she became unexpectedly pregnant at 40, and with whom she had nothing in common. In looking into the eyes of newborn Bess, Bobbie discovered a kindred spirit, and their bond lasted for the rest of Bobbie's life. No matter what was happening, Kalb could call her grandma and Grandma would make it better. At the Palm Court at the Plaza, if necessary. Grandma certainly had plenty of money with which to dote on her granddaughter (Grandpa was in NYC real estate), but grandmother and granddaughter would sometimes just read books, side by side, or go to the Met.

The book is full of delightful family photographs, which add to the feeling of intimacy and disclosure. I won't be needing an audiobook of this one. I felt that I could hear every word spoken in Grandma's sardonic and affectionate voice.

I recommend this book for Jewish people, people who know Jewish people, immigrants, descendants of immigrants, New Yorkers, people who love NYC, grandparents, parents, smart-mouthed women, and everyone who ever had a loving grandmother or a very frank and outspoken best friend. Oh, and everyone who likes to laugh hysterically or read about unshakeable love.

I received an advanced readers copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. show less