Dissertation Topics we won't be seeing anytime soon

Following on the thread about book titles, I come here from the lit snobs list annoyed at how important junk lit is supposed to be (i.e., Ayn Rand) and was inspired to start a fake dissertation title thread.

I Need a Shower: An in-depth psychological study of Atlas Shrugged and its protagonists, ideology and fringe political impact over 40 years

The Relative Declivity ACROSS Sugar Mounds: The 'Common' Ant and the Prepubescent Pimply Teen

Dexterity Entwined: The Comparative Percentages of Left Versus Right Handed in the Crafting of Prosthetics: Left, Right, Up, Down

The Use of the Colon: in Literature, Academia, and: the Toilet

Degenerative Grammar: Prolegomena of the New Syntax in the Rhetoric of Yoda, George W. Bush, and Sarah Palin

It No Longer Rises: Impotence, Mourning, and Masculinity in the Novels of Hemingway

phroar!

What Falls Off When Atlas Shrugs: A Dermatological Study of Desquamatory Infectious Debris

LOL at #6

Poor Papa.

Also #4, Rick, you slay me.

The Very Model of a Modern Industry General: Gilbert-Sullivanian Motifs in the works of Ayn Rand

6>It no longer rises?

Try this.

Rabbit Stew: Cannibalism in the Works of John Updike

The swart and sappy life of chambliss beach-comber

Ain't Life Rand: A Study of Victims of Random Randism

Impotence and its Doppelganger: Who Took the Y From Rand

As LT's biggest fan of Mr. Barns and Lady Brett, I almost peed meself over #6.

Across the River of Multiple Pees

Atlas Drugged: Pharmacological Analysis of Randian Hallucinations

Origin of Species: The Life-Story of the Great Creator God

Atlas Plugged: Anal Warts as the Result of Over-reading? We Don't Think So

Origin of the Specie: Fit, Counterfeit, and Jesus' Summer in Socotra

The Structure in the Sparkle: A Foucaultian Neo-Structural Deconstruction of Twilight

Atlas Mugged: Toward a Randian Theory of Crime

How about some theses from the art and fashion world:

Hatless, Ugged: Interpretting Fashion Statements of the Galtian Strikers

Thus Spake Fanny Loosebra: The Effects of Tight Fashion on the Body Beautiful

Specious Origins: The Darwin Myth and its Effect on Stuff

That which We Have Studied, Complete with Charts, Graphs, and Words

#6

*hearting*

No Time for Enzymes: The Benficial Effects of Ultra-rapid Consumption

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?: an Analysis of Our Innate Misanthropy, Misogyny and Tetchiness

Some of the best faux dissertation-like titles are in the footnotes of Infinite Jest.

32: I knew I had gotten the idea from somewhere. Yes, I remember now, those were hilarious.

Should I read Infinite Jest? Is it a GREAT book?

just read amazing murr review of IJ and Martini review. I have to get the book.

It's a great book.

Proof of the Twinstone Theory of Divergence: Infinte Jest and Diminishing Attention Spans of the United States of Reading Readers

Redundancy's Festival: Posting Rick Harsch Posts Again

yes, it is a great book.

John Galt Snickered: The Phenomenon of Literate Liberals Devoting Years to Their Lives (In Small Chunks) to the Derision of Ayn Rand, thus Raising Consciousness of Her Output in the Collective American Psyche and Diverting Attention from Liberal and Literary Causes

Gorgon Give Head: The Perpetual Pornography of Prehensile Mythology (translated from the low English by a flying pofukanababa who can't scratch the hair off her middle back.)

Love these!! I am commenting (late, I know) to bring it back to the forefront so that you all will think of more.

Le Salon Litteraire du Peuple pour le Peuple: A History, psychology in the making.

Has anyone thought of writing a history of the salon? All the raw material is here.

The Sea, The Sea, The Sea; or how British Novelists are surrounded by the Thing

42> Our History from our Wiki page. I didn't write it. I suspect someone very a_musing did!

In any case the writing is splendid, so modernistic, so joycean, so freaky...

Words, words, words: I write because I am told I have to