Sara's 75 Books List (+ CDs & DVDs): Part 5

Here's a tag list of what I'm watching, listening to, and reading this year: http://www.librarything.com/catalog/saraslibrary&tag=2011 .

Hi Sara! From the last thread:

I thought you liked boobs?! Now you're just confusing me.

No, not at all! Wait, no, I mean yes. Well, sort of! ...I mean... *sigh* See? They're confusing even when they aren't in sight. I said they had distracting powers, and that when they are visible it's hard to concentrate.

I don't think I've ever been attracted to someone because their breasts were a certain size. I might have said "Wow, did you see that girl's chest" (with more lewd terminology) but I've also said "Wow, was she carrying a book!?"

So you see, a lady can have her breasts be as big or small as she wants them to be. Doesn't matter. They all have an ability to confuse.

Sooo, in conclusion, there's nothing wrong with large breasts, I'm just saying I won't pay $20 for a movie whose sole asset is large breasts on camera. *Yawn*

So I guess Breasts: A Documentary is out of the question, huh? Too bad for you; more boobs for me. :)

I'm totally going to see if I can Netflix that movie! It sounds interesting, am especially curious about the reduction lady and her life pre and post surgery.

Haha, yeah, ummmm...I don't think I would process a single word any of those ladies would be saying, sooo... :(

#4: From what I've heard from coworkers, it's supposed to be really good. I've been wanting to watch it, too, so if you get to it before I do, let me know how it goes. :)

#5: Well, how about the other documentary they did then: Private Dicks: Men Exposed? I've seen that one and was able to actually pay attention. So maybe you could start with that one and work your way up to the boob documentary.

Haha, now THAT sounds like a horror movie.

It's funny, despite my rantings about how little boobs matter, with my lack of...ummm... experience with them, I'm probably the most vulnerable to their powers. It's not fair. Stupid boobs. *Grumbles* :(

It's alright Stephen, from what I hear from my guy friends, it doesn't much matter how much hands-on experience you have, they still seem to have magical powers.

Hey, another movie to add to my Netflix list! Thanks Sara!

Well, I dunno about the documentaries, but what about History of the Breast

Laura: Haha, yes, I suppose. I don't like stereotypes, but when it comes to men in breasts, I think it's safe to say we are all powerless. Even when we have the beest intentions. *Sighs*

Luxx: Now THAT seems interesting. Vintage boobs! :D

Heh, it is, actually. ;) I gave it a four out of five; it lost a star for assuming that the reader is going to be a feminist scholar.

Oh dear, that I most definitely am not. Sheesh, I don't even qualify for books about breasts. *Sigh* It's hopeless I tell you, HOPELESS!

Or at least boobless.

What's the difference? :(

#7: Naw, more like a comedy. ;) I found myself laughing more than I should have.

#8: You're welcome. :) I dare ya to watch them back to back.

#9: Hmm, I can't say I like the cover too much (not scandalous enough for me), but I do like this edition's cover:



It's like breast sign language! :D

I kidnapped and ravaged this survey from Laura's thread. Pass it on! :)

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1. Favorite childhood book? Choose just one?? Ack, I can't do it! But 3 of my most read books were Charlotte's Web by E. B. White, The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle, and The Witches by Roald Dahl, followed by anything by Judy Blume.

2. What are you reading right now? At this very second: Petite Cossette: Volume 2 by Cossette House/Aniplex.

3. Bad book habit? Yes. It's a crippling habit, really. ;)

4. Do you have an e-reader? Nope. Don't plan on getting one anytime soon.

5. Do you prefer to read one book at a time or several at once? Several at once. In fact, I'm sporadically reading about a dozen books right now.

6. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog? Uh, I don't keep up with my blog anymore (I forgot I used to have one). But LT's a good enough distractor, so yes, my reading habits have slowed down tremendously. :(

7. Least favorite book you read this year (so far)? I haven't finished all the books I've started, but so far, The Box: Uncanny Stories by Richard Matheson at 3/5 stars. There were a couple good stories, but most of them were mediocre.

8. Favorite book you’ve read this year? That's a toughie. Brain Camp by Susan Kim was pretty amusing, but Counterfeit Son by Elaine Marie Alphin definitely stayed with me longest.

9. How often do you read out of your comfort zone? Almost never. Life's too short and stressful to force myself to read books I normally wouldn't go for.

10. What is your reading comfort zone? Fluff--comics/graphic novels, kids books, some genre stuff: horror, suspense, etc.

11. Can you read on the bus? Not very well, but it's great for avoiding eye contact with bus people.

12. Favorite place to read? On my bed.

13. What is your policy on book lending? Never!

14. Do you ever dog-ear books? Again, never!

15. Do you ever write in the margins of your books? Never never never!

16. What is your favorite language to read in? :D I'll have to go with English. Seriously, my favorite language? I'm not that bright.

17. What makes you love a book? If it makes me laugh.

18. What will inspire you to recommend a book? Money.

19. Favorite genre? Horror.

20. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did)? Fantasies, mysteries...

21. Favorite biography? I don't read a whole lot of biographies, but I had a hard time choosing, so here're some of my faves: Maus by Art Spiegelman, Go Ask Alice edited by Beatrice Sparks, Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler, A Girl From Yamhill by Beverly Cleary, Lucky by Alice Sebold, Night by Elie Wiesel, and Princess Spider: True Experiences of a Dominatrix by Princess Spider.

22. Have you ever read a self-help book? Of course. I need all the help I can get. ;) Ooh, you mean a title! Then He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt. It's perfect for making people think you're a pathetic loser with men. :)

23. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)? Um, Ruby Gloom's Keys to Happiness by Clam Lynch? It can be inspirational for junior goths, I guess.

24. Favorite reading snack? Carbonated anything.

25. How often do you agree with critics about a book? I've never thought about it, so I'll go with the safe answer: 50/50.

26. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews? Guilty. :(

27. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose? Doesn't matter, as long as the story's good.

28. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read? Intimidating in size? Probably a Stephen King book when I was a kid. It was one.

29. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin? The few classics I own, like a Mark Twain omnibus my sister gave me. As if classics aren't scary enough for me, did they really have to go and lump them all together in one ginormous edition??

30. Favorite Poet? I'm not a big poetry fan, so I'll stick with my childhood favorites: Dr Seuss and Shel Silverstein.

31. Favorite fictional character? Too many to list! But just for an effort, I'll go with the unicorn from The Last Unicorn, even if she's not all that sweet in the book.

32. Favorite fictional villain? Staying with The Last Unicorn, the Red Bull or King Haggard or Mommy Fortuna and her evil beasties.

33. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation? A re-read, because I doubt I'd be doing much concentrating on vacation.

34. The longest I’ve gone without reading. Weeks. Maybe even months. I've never kept track.

35. Name a book that you could/would not finish. The Bible.

36. What distracts you easily when you’re reading? The computer and/or TV, which I usually have going while I'm reading.

37. Favorite film adaptation of a novel? Oh oh, movies! :) I could go on forever here, but I'll stick with my top childhood picks: the animated versions of The Last Unicorn and Charlotte's Web.

38. Most disappointing film adaptation? (thinking) Flowers in the Attic.

39. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time? Easily over $100. I'm not sure of the exact amount.

40. How often do you skim a book before reading it? Not sure. Before I buy it, then sure, I skim bits. But before I officially read it, then I usually just start with the snyopsis, then do the normal left to right thing (unless it's manga, of course).

41. Do you like to keep your books organized? Within reason. I don't have as much room, so as long as a shelf is in alphabetical order, it's good enough for me.

42. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them? Keep 'em.

43. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding? Tons! Usually the classics and some nonfiction--anything over 300 pages.

44. Name a book that made you angry you Can't think of one. Uh . . . (awkward pause) None. Well, maybe when I was a little kid, a boardbook or two got thrown, but I'm sure they had it coming. :P

45. A book you didn’t expect to like but did? A Separate Peace by John Knowles. It was required reading in middle or high school, so normally I would hate it, but for some weird reason, I liked it. Maybe because we got to watch the movie afterwards? (shrugs)

46. A book that you expected to like but didn’t? The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards.

47. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading? Kids books.

Ok, I'm definitely skipping both of those documentaries. While they do sound fascinating, my dad would inevitably wander in at some point during the film just like he always manages to come into room during one of the scenes with the naked people in Love Actually. But I've added A History of the Breast to the wishlist, as it sounds fascinating.

I will probably snag this meme shortly but I am so glad I've found another anti-dogear-er. :)

What is it with people walking in when naked people are on screen? I remember once when I was 10-11, I was watching a Friday the 13th movie and my grandmother walked in the room about 5 seconds before a sex scene came up. Traumatizing.

I know! That always happens. The few times I watched a movie with a sex scene in it in high school (my most vivid/scarring walk-in was during Legends of the Fall... thanks, Dad!) every single time, my parents would walk in my room (I had 2 doors, so there was double the opportunity!). Now that I live alone, I don't have to worry about it, but there have been a few times in the last couple of years where I'm online here and half-watching a movie at the same time, and my parents will just randomly stop by during the one sex scene. So, not only do I look like a degenerate b/c of what's on the screen, but it looks even worse b/c I'm also on my computer during it. Thankfully, they know that if I'm online, I'm talking about books here or on goodreads, but my Dad did walk in one time and say "What, are you taking notes or something?" *sigh* Dads. He thought it was hilarious and he nearly wet his pants.

Yep, definitely. The worst part is that sex scene is forever burned into my memory. I don't want it there, but I can't forget it. -.-

Must be some sort of variation of Murphy's Law: If there are naked people on screen, more likely than not someone will walk in at that time.

Hmmmm, there's a scientific study to be had here. I will go out, buy many many hours worth of pornography, and let it run on my tv all day long, to see how long it takes for someone to knock on my door. This is all strictly for scientific purposes, of course.

Suuuuuuuuuuure. *rolls eyes*

*Sighs* Scientists are so misunderstood. *Removes cameras from Micky and Sara's bedrooms to analyze the tape, so as to further his knowledge on people in their natural environment.* Yeah, don't know why you always think they're up to no good.

#17: I was living alone at the time that I saw Private Dicks, so I wasn't worried about anyone walking in while I was watching it. But I do know what you mean about parents always walking in at the worst parts of a movie. My "traumatic sex scene" was in one of the Jason slasher movies, where two soon-to-be-dead teens were doing it in a tent. For some reason, I was in more trouble because of the sex scene than the fact the teens got butchered. Kind of messed up, huh?

Oh, yeah, can't stand dogearring--and don't get me started on those annoying little post-it notes people use as bookmarks in library books. :/ I'd like to fine those people.

#18: Traumatizing for her or for you? :P

#19: Wait, weren't there several love scenes in Legends of the Fall? Or was it just that one with the multiple positions that only felt like it was more than one love scene? Hmm, it's been awhile since I've seen that one. But yes, that's a fun one (ha!) to watch with your family. I actually watched it with my mom and sister around the time it came out. Talk about awkward. No eye contact afterwards and plenty of personal space.

lol @ I look like a degenerate. Aw, it can't be helped. I've learned to just accept my lewd behavior. The worst that can happen is your parents disown you or insist you join a support group. ;)

#20: Let me guess--you've never watched a horror movie since. ;)

#21: Definitely! And especially if you're a kid; and of course it has to be your parent(s) or something.

lol @ #22. I'm afraid to ask if you're kidding or not. But maybe the sound might keep some people from knocking on your door? :)

#24: There's nothing natural about my environment. :P And while you're at it, see that pen over there on the table? Don't move it around too much. I'm not getting a clear enough picture.

Never been walked on while there were naked people on screen, had always been careful about things like those as a kid.

And Stephen, shame on you on your general comments about boobs and cleavage since the last thread and this one, there is nothing confusing about them, they are good for world peace and that is that!

>24 Ape: Dude, that would be THE most boring footage you have ever seen. :P

>25 saraslibrary: I actually really like Legends of the Fall (as does the rest of my fam). I vaguely remember some steamy sex scenes, but I may have been too busy drooling over how fabulous Brad Pitt looked in that movie. *sigh*

>26 PiyushC: Hmm, that puts all those beauty contestant responses about world peace in a whole new context. ;)

#20: Let me guess--you've never watched a horror movie since. ;)

Haha, no, I still watch(ed) horror movies. Sex scenes were the coolest thing ever when I was, y'know, 13. They lost appeal by the time I was about 17-18 though.

I'm afraid to ask if you're kidding or not. But maybe the sound might keep some people from knocking on your door? :)

See!?!? We don't know, do we? That's why it must be studied. Who is to say the noise won't attract more people to my door? Wait no, what am I thinking? This is a horrible idea. First I have to go somewhere and buy porn (Oh, the humiliation) and then I'll have people knocking on my door?? What was I thinking. . . . .

Ironically enough, there really is a pen pointed at me... o.O Quick, wash out your eyes!

Piyush: Oh, you have a good point, they are a great instigator of world peace. Imagine a man, a suicide bomber, standing in a crowded area about to push the button. He turns around, and comes face to face with this. I bet it becomes a lot harder to hit the button!

Micky: Yeah, ummmm...well, any camera in my bedroom would be quite boring as well, as all I do in there is sleep and read. The living room is a whole different story. :P

Micky, totally agree with you - bedroom footage would be snore-inducing, probably because that's all I do in there is sleep! But there are two bookcases in there, so maybe that would be mildly interesting? But that's really stretching the limits of the word "interesting", I think.

Re: Legends of the Fall. I was so in love with that movie, I almost wore out my VHS copy (yeah - that's right - VHS, baby!) of it, and I'm still a little worried that the CD soundtrack is going to need to be replaced at some time soon. Brad Pitt is GORgeous in that movie, and I always cried multiple times. The only sex scene I can really remember right now, the Traumatic One, was that one with all of the different positions and a whole lotta nakedness and moving around. Maybe I should watch it again, you know, for scientific purposes. I think Stephen would agree with me if no one else does. Right Stephen?

Egads, I have so many pens laying around this house, I'd never notice if there was a camera attached or not - unless, you know, there's a dude attached to the camera attached to the pen.

ETA: Oh wait! There was that one scene where sexy times are implied, when Tristan is sailing all around the world, losing his mind and you see him laying naked with those two nude Asian gals. Hmmmmm, wonder if there are more.....

I do spend a lot of time in my room, but most of the footage would just be me sitting in my big comfy chair doing stuff on my computer, watching movies, or reading. Plus all the sleeping. Not too fascinating there.

Legends of the Fall used to be on tv at least once a month for a couple years, probably because it fulfilled a lot of CRTC requirements but I don't actually own a physical copy of it. I really should fix that. When I have an income again.

Man, those incomes get in the way, don't they. They kinda stink.

Nah, the income itself would be great. It's the lack of one that stinks. :P

Oh, I hear ya. I've got 2 jobs and my income level is still scraping the low end of the poverty level. Just waiting for job #3 (at a library, yay!) so I can make a livable wage. *sigh* Depressing, ain't it? ;)

So, all of us are in agreement that we have boring bedroom...except Sara, who side-stepped the topic. Hmmmm... ;)

>33 LauraBrook: I'm in the post-graduation job hunting phase. Or as my friends and I refer to it, "life vacation." I'd just like to get past the endless process of applying. *sigh*

>34 Ape: Stephen, don't you remember that Sara keeps all the zoo animals in her bedroom?

#26: I think you're the exception then. People didn't even have to appear naked on TV (they could just be kissing) for my sister and me to be told to close our eyes and plug our ears. Oh, the joys of being raised in a religious Mormon household. :/

For some reason, your world peace comment made me think of boobs as bulletproof vests, like they'd deflect bullets and bombs or something. Hmm, maybe fake boobs could do that. It'd definitely be a selling point in high crime areas.

#27: Agrees. Micky's footage would be sooo boring. ;)

You don't remember a naked Brad Pitt?? :o For shame! I command you to rewatch it, and you'll see what we're talking about. (I tried to google sex shots of Legends of the Fall, but I couldn't find any. ::pouts::)

#28: Sex scenes were the coolest thing ever when I was, y'know, 13.

(scratches head) You really are a strange boy, you know that? I won't pry.

First I have to go somewhere and buy porn

Naw, that's what the Internet was invented for. :P Just hook up some huge speakers to your computer, and you can continue with your experiment. Just don't blame me when some angry parents and cops show up.

lol @ there really is a pen pointed at me. Well, duh, I put it there! :P I am so kidding. It's just common for spy cameras to be very inconspicious items like pens or buttons, etc.

I bet it becomes a lot harder... -- Hee hee. Oh--*ahem*--I mean, so true. Suicide bombers are bad. Very bad. Brb. I'm thirsty for milk all of a sudden.

(makes note to self to remove the living room camera pronto!)

#29: Bookshelves to a bibliophile would be like a dresser to a panty-raiding pervert, so you never know what would turn Stephen some anonymous voyeur on.

VHS copy of Legends of the Fall here too! :D I have yet to get a DVD version. Sentimental reasons, I guess. I haven't listened to the movie soundtrack. I should do that when I go back to work (look-see if we have it in our system).

lol @ unless, you know, there's a dude attached to the camera attached to the pen. -- Yeah, I'd say that was a dead giveaway. Stephen, stop shrinking yourself and mailing yourself around to people's homes. You're going to get caught or eatten, I keep telling you! :P

Oh yes, the sexy times that were implied aboard that ship.... (sighs) I'm guessing there's probably an extra scene or two that we're missing. It has been a few years since I've seen it.

#30: That's what most normal people do in their room. :) That's why I find reality TV and dorm sex cams so amusing, because people don't act like that. Or so I've heard.

Omg, CRTC? Who let you guys have electricity? Oh, this is bad, veeery bad. :o

#33: Ditto on my income--it's scraping the bottom--so I had to laugh when you said "livable wage" at a library. We don't make much! :D Great perks, though. All the books you can check out. :)

#34: Side-stepping? Who's side-stepping? I wouldn't--oh, hey, would you look at that! What is that?

#35: Life vacation. I need to get me one of those. Preferrably one that pays. ;)

I think he must've forgotten about my zoo dungeon. Better that he did. (evil grin)

(scratches head) You really are a strange boy, you know that? I won't pry.

I keep telling you! My sense of humor is perverse, I am pervectly innocent. I mean perfectly!

No, seriously, I don't know, sex has never been high on my priority list. Once the social phobias set in and I developed low self-esteem and an utter lack of confidence in myself, I pretty much removed women from my to do list (so to speak). I can't speak in public to begin with, and this worsens with anyone of the opposite sex. Do you actually think I am capable of developing any kind of relationship? And, even if I could, the thought of sex is horrifying to me. So humiliating, I'd rather avoid the embarrassment.

This is why I usually say pornography is depressing. Because, well, it is. I frequently liken to to being allergic to chocolate, and having everyone tell you how wonderful it is. It must be depressing, right? Yes, it is.

Doesn't mean I can't have an incredibly perverse sense of humor, however!

See? I'm an open book, no prying required. :P

Oh, and I also have at least 20-30 pens lying all over the place around here. Yeah, seriously, if a pen 'randomly' showed up on my computer desk...errrmmm, no, I don't think I'd notice. o.O

36: Bookshelves to a bibliophile would be like a dresser to a panty-raiding pervert, so you never know what would turn Stephen some anonymous voyeur on.

Too true, too true. Hell, if I'm honest, I'd watch a TV cam in someones bedroom only to try and see if I could figure out what books they had. For reals.

VHS copy of Legends of the Fall here too! :D YAY! Though, I have to say that I do have a DVD copy of it (think I got it for Christmas a few years back) and I recently watched only that one sex scene to show one of my good friends who has never seen the movie (i know!) and wanted to see if she'd like it or not. That scene was my argument - she didn't bite. I was astonished, but then again, this is a person who only wants to see movies that are set in the present-day, have positive outcomes, and where everything is explained. Seriously, these are the only movies that she'll see - makes movie night a bit of a slog sometimes. AAAAANYways, of course the soundtrack is excellent, and of course I have it, Sara! Haven't you figured out that I'm a music whore too? And instrumental movie soundtracks are my Kryptonite/catnip/Achilles Hell/Crack. Can't help myself, I have to buy them. I'd think you'd have it in your system, it's a John Horner score. OOooooh, BTW, I just checked Amazon and it's on sale for only $5.82 - that's so friggin cheap I'm tempted to buy another copy for myownself.

Oh yes, the sexy times that were implied aboard that ship.... (sighs) I'm guessing there's probably an extra scene or two that we're missing. It has been a few years since I've seen it.

*BIG SIGH* Oh well, ALRIGHT THEN, I guess I have no choice, NO CHOICE I TELL YOU, I'm going to have to subject myself to the dreaminess of the movie, purely for scientific reasons, and report back here. Mini-series on Abraham and Mary Lincoln? Please excuse me, I have some important research to do involving a naked hot man's ass. Oh, the sacrifices I make for you guys. :)

And seriously, if when I get that library job (library page - it's bottom-rung but a foot in the door and I'm pleased as punch to have it) it will boost me up into the low-livable-wage territory. Sad but true. Right now both Job #1 and Job #2 have high hourly rates, but very few hours for various reasons. Job #3 will be peanuts, but it's steady peanuts, and that's a big difference. Isn't that kind of a sad state of affairs? College degree, fairly intelligent, responsible, nice to everyone and it takes 3 nearly-full-time-but-really-part-time jobs to make ends meet. Depressing, is what that is.

37: My sense of humor is perverse, I am pervectly innocent. I mean perfectly!? Ditto, kiddo!

Oh, and please don't closely inspect any free promotional pens you may get in the mail in the near future. That round, camera-lens-shaped part on the side is purely for decoration, to give the pen a certain Art Deco joie de vivre appearance. Yeah, that's it. A joie de vivre. It totally won't turn itself on with Hypercolor technology. :)

Too true, too true. Hell, if I'm honest, I'd watch a TV cam in someones bedroom only to try and see if I could figure out what books they had. For reals.

Ok, I have a confession here. Several times when naughty pictures found themselves on my screen (they just popped up, I swear :P) and there were books somewhere in the background, I completely lost interest in whatever what happening in the foreground and tried to read the titles. Yep, seriously.

Hypercolor technology? Haha, wow, sounds scary. At least they don't make 3D cameras that small.

...they don't, right? *Nervous laugh*

#37: If it's any consolation, chocolate's not all that great. Now, vegan egg rolls--yum! ;) But seriously, don't beat yourself up. I can totally relate to most of what you're saying, because when my social phobia takes hold, any kind of need for human contact disappears completely. And yeah, I can safely say women aren't on my To Do list either. :P (Childhood experimentation doesn't count.) For some reason, though, fetishists popped into my head when you mentioned all this social phobia and sex. They're like the perfect solution to anxiety. You can dress up head to toe in latex/leather/whatever and nobody knows it's you. Maybe there's your sexual outlet??

20-30 pens lying around?? So that's where my stash of pens have gone to! Your house is like my Bermuda Triangle. You haven't happened to find like a dozen mismatched socks, have you?

#38: I'd watch a TV cam in someones bedroom only to try and see if I could figure out what books they had. -- Oookay, I'll keep that in mind next time I hear of someone's house being broken into and their books ransacked. ;)

I'm not really into the happy-ever-after movies either. I think that's why I liked Legends of the Fall so much--because there's no sweet little bow on it by the end. It's really pretty depressing, if you think about it; most of the characters end up dying horribly. Oops, kinda gave away the ending there. Oh well. I can't imagine anyone who really wanted to see it wouldn't have done so by now.

That LotF soundtrack on Amazon sounds tempting (I just did a check at my library, and we don't have it), but I'm going to have to wait on any new purchases. I just shopped at Half Price Books yesterday, and a few more bills just crept up on me, so it's back to let's-count-the-days-til-payday again. Joy.

Oh, the sacrifices I make for you guys. :) -- So, how many sex scenes were there? I'm only counting 3 or 4 in my head, but I'm sure there were one or two I somehow missed.

That would be awesome if you got a page job! :) That's what I've been doing for the past bajillion years, and am happy to continue being just a page, considering all the stress and responsibilities my superiors have. And that does suck about the college degree and still having to juggle multiple jobs. :( I know several people like that (coworkers and a couple patrons), and college just seems like a big waste of money to me.

#39: there were books somewhere in the background -- No way do I believe that! Of all the porn I've seen, I have yet to see 1 book in a shot. Where have you seen--nope, never mind, don't wanna know! Lalalala.

Nope, I can say definitively that leather fetishes are not for me. Besides, one of my major insecurities is pretty much impossible to hide during such activities. Unless I dry hump people in a furry animal suit. :P

My social phobias don't cause need for human contact to disappear, they just make them not worth the effort. I'd sooner be alone than even attempt any kind of social interaction with anyone, for the most part. It's just easier that way. =/

I'm also trying to get a page job. It's not looking too great so far though. Still hoping though.

...there have been books in the background...several times. I should note that, when the icky stuff randomly popped up on my screen, it seemed very amateurish and non-professional. Which is good, because that fancy 'professionals' with their freakishly huge penises are always depressing...and the women are always hideous with their fake breasts/faces. That has been my observation, anyway, when it pops up on my computer against my will. At least, y'know, the 1 or 2 times it has happened. *cough cough*

I am ignoring all references to porn. They're just not there. *waves magic wand* Oh wait let's replace that with *Jeannie blink*

And I believe the more common term for paid life vacation, Sara, is "life of leisure" which is obtainable for the low low price of marrying rich. ;)

#41: lol @ Unless I dry hump people in a furry animal suit. -- Hey, you never know what's out there til you look. ;) Believe me, I've seenheard of some weird things.

Oh, my counselor would be all over you for that--I'd sooner be alone than even attempt any kind of social interaction with anyone. Hmm, maybe I should sic her on you! ;)

Definitely keep trying for the page job. It's one of the easier jobs in a library to get, and it's so worth it since you're into books. If I were you, I'd try and knock off one of the pages they have already; that way a position will be sure to open immediately! Genius, yes? :D

Hey, I like my porn stars hideously fake. It makes the show all the more amusing. And the less real they look, the less intimidated I feel, because I know they just weren't born with body parts that defy gravity.

#42: Hee hee. You said wand. You probably shouldn't bring up any phallic tools on my thread. ;)

Marrying rich? Oh god, marriage?? :o You don't know how deathly allergic I am to that word. I'd rather be a bum.

Haha, I didn't notice the wand-waving part. Good eye, Sara!
Yep, that's my reaction to porn as well, Micky. :P

Counselor!? *Cringe* Oh dear, not only do they want to talk alot, but they ask QUESTIONS. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Gravity defying body parts, yes, those are present from the male perspective too. Actually maybe the opposite, have you ever noticed exceedingly-large men frequently seem to be just as droopy when erect as non-erect? I wonder if that limits clitoral stimulation. Hmmmm... *Rubs chin in thought*

Sorry, am I thinking about this too scientifically? That happens sometimes. *adjust lab coat and removes spandex gloves* D'oh.

June 28
$73.78 @ Half Price Books

Books:

* Blueprint for Disaster, Ignorance, Thy Name Is Bucky, Scrum Bums, and Dumbheart by Darby Conley (yes, I obviously love Get Fuzzy :)
* The Mammath Book of Paranormal Romance edited by Trisha Telep
* Maximum Ride 1 by NaRae Lee & James Patterson (graphic novel version)
* Nightmares & Fairy Tales: Beautiful Beasts by Serena Valentino, et al.
* The Circle Series by Ted Dekker (I know this is a Christian series--not something I'd normally read--but this graphic version looks halfway interesting ::fingers crossed::)
* Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (I already have this book, but this edition is the one I read as a kid--hardcover and full of pictures--awesome nostalgic find :)

DVDs:

* The Toolbox Murders
* Once Upon a Time in the Midlands
* Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Complete Sixth Season
* Smiley Face (seen, loved)
* Role Models (ditto)
* Snow Angels (ditto)
* Weirdsville
* Beverly Hills 90210: The Complete First Season
* Eight Legged Freaks (finally, I found a replacement copy :)
* Jaws 2
* Facing Windows
* 2009: Lost Memories
* Son in Law (replacement for my VHS copy)
* Happy Birthday to Me
* Casshern

---

FYI: Some of touchstones link to the wrong item, and I'm too lazy to fix 'em all. ;)

#44: For me, it's not just the questions, but they actually make you think about everything you do until the next visit. Urgh. That's why I always treat myself to books after every visit. I doubt I would see my counselor otherwise.

Hmm, to be honest, I don't really pay much attention to guy junk. Sounds odd, I know, but that's not my focus. Maybe you should do some studying and get back to us. What would it be--the pros and cons of penis enlargements?

40: Well, there really was only that one scene! There were the suggested sexy times with the lovely Asian ladies on board that ship, and when Tristan and Isabelle 2 finally hook up, you see him laying with his head on her stomach and she's naked, but that's really it. Sara, you're right, part of the reason I like that movie so much is that it isn't all rainbows and bunnies at the end. Well that, and lovely looking lads are in it! You know the part when Brad and Aidan are on the front porch after The Sex Scene, the next morning, and Brad asks him something, and Aidan turns around, and kinda grunty-screams "YEEEES!"? That part still made me giggle nervously and I must've seen it over 4 dozen times. :)

I didn't know you're a page! Awesome! The HR lady who interviewed me asked if I was interested in moving up, and I said yes - but maybe not any more. Since then I've been at the library probably a dozen times at least and all of the librarians, while very nice and pleasant and seeming-like-they-like-their-jobs, if you watch them long enough (not that long, I'm not a stalker) you can see the little guard that drops down and they look like there're some thing that maybe they don't really want to do. I know it's true of every job, though, so I guess I'll just wait and see what kind of thing might open up once I'm there. IDK. I'm just happy to be getting a job where I'm surrounded by books and customer service won't be like in a regular store!

42: Micky, the only way I think I'll ever have money is if I marry rich - sooooo not looking likely!

44: Dr. Stephen is in the house, everyone! Gird your loins! ;)

45: Nice haul, Sara!

What would it be--the pros and cons of penis enlargements?

Nope, just a general assessment of whether or not size matters. *Adjusts comical nerdy scientist glasses* We know, physically-speaking, that it does indeed matter, as a larger penis (in girth, not length) stretches the vagina more and, thus, stimulates the clitoris better. (We're ruling out the emotional aspect as a variable.) However, can a smaller, more erect penis apply more pressure than its droopier counterpart? THAT is the question.

Of course, I suppose it doesn't matter anyway. I do believe in Mary Roach's Bonk, she mentioned a statistic stating that a pathetically small percentage of women actually have orgasms through penetration alone. Bah, it's all hopeless. *Curls up under a blanket and weeps*

*Peeks out from under covers* See? This is so much less complicated. *Ducks back under*

#47: Only one scene?! I guess my imagination got the better of me and stretched it into multiple scenes throughout the movie. My bad. ;) And absolutely--they really cast that movie well! I can't think of one actor on there I didn't like.

Oh yes, I've been a page for . . . (trying to count) . . . lots of years? Is that accurate enough? :D I think it's something like 8 years. Idk. I had planned on doing the page thing, then moving up to a branch assistant (the ones who help you check out, etc), but after only a few months of watching those b.a.'s work, I quickly realized I had it good as a page! You're probably right when you caught those few moments when the ladies at your library let their guard drop, because I've noticed library work is almost like the postal system--it's endless! Hmm. Now I'm making it sound like hell. Sorry, it's really not. :D Work is just work; it depends on if you can handle the people part of it. That's the most stressful. Good luck! I'm sure you'll get hired. :)

#48: I'm not saying this just to be nice or placate guys, but I honestly don't take size into consideration. All I'm focused on is my clit, rarely trying to fill my vagina until it bursts. (Ew, nice image there--erupting vaginas.) Oh, and let's not forget about lesbians. No dick there; yet they probably have more orgasms than most hetero couples (I'm just assuming, since I know a lot of straight girls fake it for guys). And yes, Ms Roach is correct in stating few women come via penetration alone. I know I don't.

Oops, I forgot to gird my loins. I hope they're still intact. :o

Ok, I'm just going to avoid Stephen's entire study (covers eyes).

As for your new acquisitions, I cheer for Little Women and the sixth season of Buffy (lots of Spike, plus, Once More With Feeling :D). I'm also intrigued by the Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance. Is it an anthology or just a listing of books?

I have tremendous respect for pages, not only because I am forever running over my feet with book trucks, but because they do so much stuff and are always willing to help out with random stuff. I am a (unemployed) certified librarian and it does have its challenges like every job but I really love it.

#50: Yeah, I almost want to re-read Little Women right away, but flipped through to the pictures instead. I have waaay too many books to finish before I start another one.

I'm not sure when I'm going to do a Buffy marathon, but I plan on doing one eventually. And yeah, Spike was one of my favorite characters on there. :)

The Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance is an anthology with 24 stories by--(looks @ cover)--Mary Jo Putney, Kelley Armstrong, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Cheyenne McCray, Alyssa Day, etc. I'm not a big romance fan, but paranormal romance I can stomach.

Well, I think the only brave thing we pages do is touch books with really smelly/sticky/wet/gross things on them. Maybe we could get a raise on a per nasty book basis? That'd be awesome!

Oh, and let's not forget about lesbians. No dick there; yet they probably have more orgasms than most hetero couples (I'm just assuming, since I know a lot of straight girls fake it for guys).

Yes, I remember this was mentioned in Bonk as well. I believe the reasoning was that it's pretty much impossible to be a selfish lover in a homosexual relationship. For the most part, the entire act of sex in gay relationships is pleasuring your partner, or in the case of guys at least 'taking turns.' It's rather difficult for a gay couple to have sex without all parties in question having orgasms. Most straight men, however, seem to lack the selflessness required to satisfy their partner.

Y'know what is sad? Even if I guy were totally selfish, he could reason with himself that if he spent an extra amount of time pleasing his partner, she would be more likely to want to have sex more often. Does that not make sense? Yet they don't even realize that? *Rolls eyes*

#52: I know this is totally going to be taken out of context, but I wish I were a lesbian. :( But nooo, I get stuck being attracted to the other half of the population that's responsible for murders, rapes, and all that fun stuff. (sigh)

But you're right--I don't think men realize they actually have to but forth a little effort. Or maybe they do realize; they just don't care. Humans are pretty selfish in general.

Haha, hey, I wish I were a lesbian too! :P

Isn't attraction a fickle thing? Being attracted to men seems much more logical to me. They are horny as hell and easy to get in bed. I mean really, do you ladies really have to try to hard to sleep with a guy if you want to? I don't know too many guys who'd say no to...well, anyone, really.

Here's how to sleep with a guy: Get him to a private area and tear your clothes off. Yeah, that's it. And the private area is probably optional. Guys are easy.

Doesn't matter though, I can't be gay. Even though I am an open-minded person, and even though I can't think of any logical reason why I couldn't be, at the very least, emotionally attracted to a man, it just isn't possible. The thought of a naked man makes me cringe a bit, actually. I can't imagine what you ladies find so attractive about us. ... *Shudders*

Whilst 'browsing Google' and 'accidentally' finding naughty things, even the grossest EWWW-inducing things don't effect me much. I just say "EWWW" and hit the back button, and then continue my journey into depravity. Gay porn, however, is very difficult to recover from. *Cringe*

No offense to gay men, but it's definitely not for me.

Lesbians, though, are a different story. :P

>51 saraslibrary: I think the last time I re-read Little Women was when I wrote a paper on it for a class I was taking on Pilgrim's Progress. I still remember coming across an article while I was researching that paper and finding out that LMA perversely chose to have Jo not marry Laurie because she kept getting tons of letters demanding that they do. I was so angry at her for her stubbornness (although I totally understood, because I can be stubborn like that too and do the opposite of what everyone wants me to do). But I think my great love for Laurie is mostly based on many viewings of the Winona Ryder film version where Christian Bale played Laurie. *sigh*

Buffy marathons are SO easy to do. I can put it on, intending to only watch an episode or two and then be sucked in for many, many hours. At the moment, though, I'm once again watching Gilmore Girls. :)

And massive respect for handling nasty books. Free rubber gloves for you! ;)

Yikes, I'm such a neat freak when it comes to books that I hadn't considered the gross aspect of handling all of those books. *gulp* I'll bring a pair of nitrite gloves whenever I work. Yech!

Earlier this year I started watching Buffy and stopped somewhere in Season 2, party b/c I wasn't paying attention at all, and partly b/c I didn't have the whole season, so I just gave up. Eventually, I'll return to it, but I've been craving a Gilmore Girls Thon more recently. I only watched the show sporadically when it was on and always liked it. It'd be fun to see all of the episodes and kick myself for missing out. Well, relatively fun. :) Thankfully, the shows that suck me in that I own are usually only a season or two long so I don't waste too many days.

>56 LauraBrook: I avidly started watching Gilmore Girls during its second season and missed only a handful of episodes when it was still running. Now I tend to rewatch them at least once a year. Most of the shows that I have on DVD have a minimum of 5 seasons, although most are 7 (NCIS is even more). I think the only two shows I have that are small collections are Firefly and Pushing Daisies.

#54: You are a lesbian. Of sorts. :P

Funny thing is, I'm not all that into trying to get laid. Go figure. So all that getting guys to a private area and tearing their clothes off . . . (shrugs) I'd rather read a book. But women, in general, I have to agree, have it pretty easy when it comes to getting laid. Unfortuantely, they're usually attracted to a-holes. People are funny-stupid that way.

I can't imagine what you ladies find so attractive about us. -- I don't know either. I think it's a lie. Stop spreading rumors, Stephen. :P

lol @ gay porn...is very difficult to recover from. Really? I find it all very scientific. It doesn't do anything for me. I could probably watch it all day like a documentary. Ditto with lesbians. There is so much faking it in porn that I can't imagine any of what they do actually turns them on anymore, which then turns me off. So, I forget, why do I watch porn? (scratches head)

#55: Ditto on my great love for Laurie is mostly based on many viewings of the Winona Ryder film version where Christian Bale played Laurie. Christian Bale's awesome. :) And I had no idea that was Louisa May Alcott's reasoning behind not marrying the two. Interesting; I completely respect her for doing that.

I haven't gotten anywhere near my Buffy DVDs yet, but I'm going through some of my other movies. Gilmore Girls . . . hmm, don't think I ever watched that. (trying to remember if there were any hot guys in that one)

Oooh, thank you! (dances around with her rubber gloves on, touching everything)

#56: Even if you weren't a neat freak, you'd soon develop an obsessive hand-washing routine. Mine got so bad, I developed a bad eczema outbreak that kept me from working for a couple days. It was nasty. XP Just remember to moisturize, moisturize, moisturize all the time.

That's part of the reason why I haven't started a Buffy marathon--I don't own all the seasons back-to-back, just 3 & 6. But maybe just one season this upcoming 4th of July might do it for me. :)

#57: Love Pushing Daisies! :) I'm always on the lookout for that one when I'm out shopping. I check it out from work once in a blue moon, but it always sucks having to return it. :(

Oops, forgot to mention I won an ER ebook:



The No. 1 Car Spotter by Atinuke

Yes, an ebook. Not one of my favorite things in the world. But hey, it looks pretty cute, and I haven't read too many books set in Africa, so why not? If it's short, I may start this one next.

>58 saraslibrary: I think it should be required that EVERYONE love Pushing Daisies (although obviously they didn't because it was cancelled). And a huge part of that is Lee Pace (dude, I talk about attractive men A LOT on your thread, Sara. Why is that?). May have to go swoon over Lee Pace for a little while now.

>59 saraslibrary: My ER win was also an ebook. Not counting the Midnight Sun fragment (yes, I read it. Multiple times. You will not shame me about that), this will be my first real ebook. I don't actually have an ereader though, so lots of reading on my computer. You know, once I've read all the YA books I want to get through this month.

Pushing Daisies is AWESOME, and Lee Pace just amps it up even more. It's such a great series, I'm still disappointed that it was cancelled. I may have some swooning happening over at my house on Sunday morning with The Fall.

Congrats on your ER win! I started to read Midnight Sun but reading on my computer drove me nuts so I had to stop. I wanted to print it off to read but the interwebs gods wouldn't let me. :( I'd like to reread the whole Twilight series - so addictive! - but first I want to reread all the Harry Potters. So far the closest I've gotten is to pull the first book off of my shelf. Hey, it's a step!

Oh great, I already have eczema on my hands due to lots of antibacterial gel usage for chair massage. Usually the whole having-my-hands-in-massage-creme-for-hours-a-day would combat it nicely, but since chair massage work has increased, regular massages have decreased and well... it seems I'm stuck with it. It's just on one hand, and only bothers me if I use the antibac stuff too much or use a drying soap, but still. Sucks, doesn't it? At least it's not noticeable to anyone else but me unless I point it out. Still, I'll keep plastic gloves (maybe even cotton ones) with me in case the book-handling drives me nuts. :)

Oh, well Helloooo there, Mr. Pace! Rawr!

>62 LauraBrook: Thanks for the visual aid for the swooning, Laura. ;)

>61 LauraBrook: I really love to swoon over Lee Pace in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. He is so fantastic in that film. It also helps that it has my girl-crush, Amy Adams, in it. I was so psyched when I found out he was going to be in the last Twilight film(s?) (he's playing one of the many vampires from the third section of Breaking Dawn so it really depends on where they're splitting as to whether he'll be in Part 1). I think I'm going to re-read the Harry Potter and Twilight series after I reach my 75 books (probably by the end of this month). Then out of my annual re-reads I'll only have Gone with the Wind and Scarlett left.

I aim to please!

Funny thing is, I'm not all that into trying to get laid.

That's what I was saying, when I ssid it's low on my priority list. It's just not worth bothering over. If the opportunity 'presented itself' ...or should I say if the opportunity 'landed in my lap,' so to speak, I doubt I would complain much. I'm just not interested enough to put in any effort. *Yawn* Books are better. Plus they last longer.

Oh, there is definitely something scientific about gay (male) porn. Isn't there an issue with erection overstaying their welcome when some men take Viagra or whatnot? Gay porn would work as an antidote for me, I think. *Shrug* There's no reason for it, I have nothing against anyone or their sexual preferences, but for some inexplicable reason it's hardwired in my brain to think 'OMG EEEEK!' whenever I see something like that. =/

Yay for free books. :)

#60: I hate to admit it, but I was one of those people who never watched Pushing Daisies when it aired. I think it was on when I was at work, so I never got to it. Thank god for DVDs, so I can play catch-up!

dude, I talk about attractive men A LOT on your thread, Sara. Why is that? -- Well, we could always talk about unattractive guys if you want... :P

Midnight Sun--hmm, I didn't know Stephenie Meyer did a rewrite of Twilight (as if weren't long enough). Going by the reviews, I'm guessing it includes Edward's p.o.v. as well? Or is it all Edward? I still need to finish Breaking Dawn and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner before I start doing any re-reads, though.

#61: I want to re-read the Harry Potter books, too, but maybe I should actually read them a first time. ;) I don't know why I keep procrastinating with those books. They're just so HUGE!

Yeah, it sounds gross, but soap and I aren't friends. :/ At least using it on my hands, over and over again. I don't know if there's any way around it. Like you mentioned, I used cotton gloves the first couple days back to work, but they're so bulky, I kept dropping everything. Latex gloves worked for a bit, until I remembered how drying they are, and I was back to irritated hands again. All I do now is wash my hands with water (no soap) and keep my hands as lotioned as possible with Shikai.

#62: That doesn't help me keep on task with reading, y'know! :P If I don't make 75 books this year, I know who to blame--you and Lee Pace!

#63: There wasn't enough Lee Pace in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day; that's probably why it's not one of my favorite movies with him in it.

(is totally speechless at the mention of numerous re-reads) And you'll be done by the end of this month?? Wow. That's all I have to say. :D I'm seriously impressed. You've really been kicking butt.

#65: Books are better. Plus they last longer. -- And you don't get funny little rashes from them either. Hmm. Well, you probably could, but I'm sure it'd be very unlikely.

Maybe more gay porn is in order then! All for science, of course. You'll be like that poor, defenseless monkey at the beginning of 28 Days Later, but forced to watch gay porn instead. We'll desensitize you yet--bwaha! ;)

JULY

Books

1. Vampire Haiku by Ryan Mecum (3/5)
2. Ju-On: Video Side by Miki Rinno (3/5)
3. Grimmer Tales: A Wicked Collection of Happily Never After Stories by Erik Bergstrom (4/5)
4. Thank You Notes by Jimmy Fallon (5/5)
5. Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer by Van Jensen & Dusty Higgins (5/5)
6. Bitter With Baggage Seeks Same: The Life and Times of Some Chickens by Sloane Tanen (3/5)
7. Over the Hedge: Stuffed Animals by Michael Fry & T. Lewis (5/5)

---

CDs

1. Telegram by Björk (4/5)
2. Year Zero by Nine Inch Nails (5/5)

---

DVDs

1. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules directed by David Bowers (5/5)
2. The Human Centipede: First Sequence directed by Tom Six (5/5)
3. Dead Fish directed by Charley Stadler (5/5)
4. The Deaths of Ian Stone directed by Dario Piana (4/5)
5. Unhinged directed by Don Gronquist (2/5)
6. Harm's Way directed by Melanie Orr (5/5)
7. Forget Me Not directed by Tyler Oliver (4/5)
8. Exorcismus directed by Manuel Carballo (4/5)
9. Limitless directed by Neil Burger (5/5)
10. The Cottage directed by Paul Andrew Williams (5/5)
11. Hack! directed by Matt Flynn (3/5)
12. Rango directed Gore Verbinski (4/5)
13. Head in the Clouds directed by John Duigan (5/5)
14. Source Code directed by Duncan Jones (4/5)
15. Private Lessons directed by Alan Myerson (3/5)
16. Resident Evil directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (4/5)

I am so surprised that you did not watch Pushing Daisies, Sara. It seems exactly like your kind of thing. Plus, you know, Lee Pace. Speaking of whom, let's just stick to discussing attractive men. The alternative frightens me. :P

And in case it ever shows up on Jeopardy, Midnight Sun is a project Stephenie Meyer started of Twilight from Edward's perspective. However, when someone leaked a draft on the internet, she was upset and stopped working on it. And now it lives in limbo on her website. Where you can read it in PDF form.

Most of my planned reads for this month are YA which I can blitz through quite easily (I read two books today during drive to, visit with, and drive back from my grandmother's), so it's not so impressive. And re-reads are a staple for me. There are certain books I get cravings for and I have read again. It's weird.

Maybe more gay porn is in order then! All for science, of course. You'll be like that poor, defenseless monkey at the beginning of 28 Days Later, but forced to watch gay porn instead. We'll desensitize you yet--bwaha! ;)

Oh dear! Don't pornographic movies spoof other movies a lot? That sounds perfect. 28 Gays Later or something, where a straight man is strapped down to a table and forced to watch gay porn, and then homophobes break in and try to free the poor defenseless straight man, thus releasing a virus that turns men into raging homicidal homosexuals. :P

Uhhhmmmmm, Stephen? Is there something you'd like to share with the rest of the class?



http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/28_Gays_Later

Are you sure that $$ is from your car sale, and not the DVD profits?

Haha! Damn, someone got to it before me. :P

#68: I had no clue about all that going on. I'll have to download Midnight Sun when I can, because it'd be interesting to read all that drama from Edward's perspective. Don't know if I'll be able to read the entire thing, though.

You read 2 books yesterday? :o Ok, I've never gotten close to that, except when I was a kid. Or when I've bought picture books. I don't think my brain'd let me focus on a book for more than an hour.

#69: Wow, you summarized that one too well. Are you sure you haven't watched it already? ;)

#70: That is just . . . wow. I'm speechless. :D Somehow I don't see our library ordering that one.

#71: You could always do a sequel. What was it called--28 Twinks Later? You could do 28 Mouths Later or something.

>72 saraslibrary: Sadly (or not, depending on whether you like the Twilight series), Midnight Sun is incomplete and is only 200 (or possibly less) pages.

I don't often read 2 books in one day. I usually don't do much else, if I do that. I did the math afterwards and I read close to 700 pages yesterday. Ok, enough bragging. Did you have to work the long weekend?

I didn't mind reading the Twilight books (after all, I think I gave them 4's & 5's); they were just a little too verbose for me. So seeing that Midnight Sun is only 200 pages, that makes me a little happier. :)

700 pages?? (sputters) Yeah, I've never reached anything like that. :D

Actually, yeah, I did work the weekend. I had the 4th off, but did squat, except visit Half Price Books in the afternoon/evening (I'll have to post that shopping spree soon). What about you? Did you do anything fun for Canada Day?

Hmm, what did I do for Canada Day weekend? There was quite a bit of reading. I've also recently become addicted to Vlogbrothers on YouTube and spent (and continue to spend) way too much time watching those. Went to visit my grandmother. And that was pretty much it. Oh, I did see fireworks on Canada Day although I didn't go down to where the festivities were. I just watched from my front step, which was fun. And that's pretty much my long weekend.

So now I'm back to job applications, goofing off on the internet, and reading. Not that different from my long weekend really. :P

That doesn't sound too bad. It's definitely more exciting than my 4th of July! I'd like to say I'm cool and know what the Vlogbrothers is, but I haven't a clue. Plus YouTube and dial-up don't get along very well. :/ I'll have to check it out at work sometime.

I'm not a big fan of fireworks, so I stayed inside the whole day. Awful noise, awful smell, poor scared pets. :( Not exactly my favorite holiday.

(sighs) Goofing off on the internet. I miss those days. Lucky you. :)

My mom has a dog that tries to eat fireworks as they are lighting off. We had to tie him up. Shyanne seems to be neutral towards them... o.o

>76 saraslibrary: As of a week and a half ago, I had no clue what Vlogbrothers was either. And then someone told me about it and I shortly thereafter became an addict. It's a vlog done by John Green and his brother, Hank, in which they are generally bright and amusing. And because I'm a completist, I have to watch 3.5 years worth of videos. I just finished year one today. Helps that I have all that time to goof off on the internet.

As for fireworks, they are legal to purchase in Canada (as far as I know), but from what I can tell not many people do. We tend to just enjoy the displays set up by the professionals. Which are pretty freakin' awesome.

#77: Oh dear, what a . . . special dog your mom's got there. Glad he got tied up. That's an accident waiting to happen. :(

#78: 3.5 years worth of videos?? Omg. Well, good luck to you, and I hope your eyes don't start bleeding. ;) I think I might pass on the Vlogbrothers. I have enough DVDs to get caught up on.

I'm pretty much the same way. Just show me pictures of stuff exploding, and I'm good. No need to blow stuff up outside my house all night.

I blame the holidays for making me go shopping so soon. Not that I regret it, but how many days until next pay day??

July 4
$55.09 @ Half Price Books

Books:

* Ju-On: Video Side by Miki Rinno (read; kind of meh: 3/5)
* A House Divided by Deborah LeBlanc
* Midnighters #2: Touching Darkness by Scott Westerfeld
* Hexbound by Chloe Neill
* Family Storms by V. C. Andrews
* Vampire Haiku by Ryan Mecum (thanks to Stephen for this rec; not too shabby: 3/5)
* Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel (thanks again to Stephen for this rec; you're contaminating my library! :P)
* Owning It: Stories About Teens With Disabilities edited by Donald R. Gallo
* Princess Ai: Rumors from the Other Side and Princess Ai: The Prism of Midnight Dawn by Courtney Love, DJ Milky, et al.
* The Edge chronicles #1: Beyond the Deepwoods byPaul Stewart & Chris Riddell
* The Enchanted Castle by E. Nesbit

CDs:

* Dance Party (like it's 2001) by Various Artists
* Facets of Blue by Gitane Demone
* Torture Technique by Sister Machine Gun
* In Utero by Nirvana
* Life is Killing Me by Type O Negative
* Year Zero by Ninch Inch Nails
* Trait by Pailhead
* Diamond Life by Sade
* Telegram by Bjork

DVDs:

* Malcolm in the Middle: The Complete First Season (seen; liked)
* When Will I Be Loved
* The Deaths of Ian Stone
* Dead Fish
* Quid Pro Quo (seen; liked)

Bwahaha, yay for contaminating people's libraries! >:D Fun Home is definitely one of my favorite graphic novels. And I'm not just saying that because there is a lesbian sex scene or two. :P

I have In Utero. "Dumb" makes me wonderful/depressing, at the same time. Year Zero would have been a good purchase had it been this Year Zero. :P

I wasn't even aware I bought two of your recs until I got home, and kept thinking, "Where did I hear these from?" And lesbian sex scenes? Oh no! o_0 I will have to draw some clothes on those ladies then. Make them all decent and proper and hetero-looking. :P

(gasp) We have similar CDs?? That just can't happen. I'll have to return it right away! ;) j/k. I'm just surprised I never bought that one earlier when I was a kid. And sorry, no, my Year Zero is this one. It's still depressing stuff, if that makes you feel any better. ;)

>79 saraslibrary: I am now halfway through year 2 (much less videos in year 2 than in year one where they made a video every weekday). Yay! But I understand you're passing on them. Not everyone has massive amounts of free time like me, right now.

Nothing on any of those lists jumped up and grabbed me. But I'm glad they grabbed somebody. ;P

Bwahaha, you didn't even know you were buying my recs? Sounds like I'm contaminating your mind too! No wait, that's already contaminated...

Your taste in music is so eclectic it's pretty much inevitable you'd buy something I owned eventually. Still waiting for you to buy an Arcturus cd, however. :P

#83: Ah yes, books have a tendency to cop a feel when I walk by. That's why I can't help but bring almost the entire store home. ;)

So, how goes it with the Vlogbrothers? You're probably done with all 3 years by now, aren't you?

#84: I had no idea those were your recs. I just figured I'd seen them at work or something, even though I knew we didn't have Vampire Haiku (I had checked a long time ago). And stranger still, when I was shelving at work yesterday, I came across Fun Home in our graphic section. Just odd, 'cause it doesn't really stand out with a bright cover like all the rest.

Oh, hardy har har about my contaminated mind. :P I can't help it if I have no filtering system in my brain. It makes contaminating others all the more fun! (evil grin)

Considering I've never heard of Arcturus, I'm gonna guess it'll be awhile before I buy something of theirs. Don't hold your breath. Not that I wouldn't try them; I'm just guessing they're not going to be in the pop/rock clearance shelves anytime soon.

>85 saraslibrary: That gives whole new meaning to this picture. :D

I haven't watched any Vlogbrothers yet today (I finished a book instead) so I'm still in roughly the same spot. Believe me, there will be much crowing when I've caught up. :P

Oh yes, I've seen that one before, and for some reason, it seriously creeps me out, moreso than if a book cover pinched my butt or something. Don't know why.

You read a book instead? Wow, what a concept. ;) I'm doing just the opposite--watching TV. But captions are on, so does that count?

Bah! Why can't I say anything on this thread without feeling like I'm saying something dirty, even when I'm not! I starting typing that I was wiggling my fingers in Sara's subconscious, which would be perfectly okay on any other thread, but here? Nooooo... -.-

Wiggling your fingers is a serious naughty offense on this thread. You'll get some dirty, hard, deep, sweaty, uh... where whas I going with this? Oh, yeah--punishment! Punishment is what I meant. :P

I do not even want to know what the last comment was about :)

Just checking in, Sara, since I am woefully behind on threads. . . again.

Oh dear!

*Plants hands firmly in pockets, where is wiggling fingers won't cause any problems.*

*Develops a face with unfocused eyes and a stupid grin*

...OH MY!

*Removes wiggly-fingered hands from pockets* These things are not safe around here!

#90: Not to worry about catching up, Stasia. :) Nothing new going on here. Very little reading and a whole lotta misbehaving appendages.

#91: You can borrow my meat cleaver. I always keep one nearby. :)

Meat cleaver? That's why I took my hands out of my pockets in the first place...

To remove your troublesome fingers?

No, to distance them from any meat cleavers. Those things are deadly!

>87 saraslibrary: Hmm, I'm not sure captions count. I usually try to split my time between reading and tv so I get a fair amount of both.

As for wiggling fingers: SPIRIT FINGERS!!!! :D

#95: Not necessarily. You'll just have a slight disadvantage at playing the guitar. ;)

#96: But two hours of reading captions--that's gotta count for something!

Oh god, I've been to the Urban Dictionary again: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=spirit%20fingers . Please tell me which spirit fingers you meant! o_0

>97 saraslibrary: Thanks for sharing the very scarring experience of visiting Urban Dictionary. For future reference, I meant the first definition of spirit fingers. Which you can see many examples of (and hear references to) in Bring It On (oh teen years where I watched movies about cheerleaders *le sigh*).

Oh, you're soooo welcome! ;) And I kind of guessed you meant the jazz hands, but you just never know until you ask. Bring It On . . . hmm, nope, I don't think I ever saw any of those movies.

I've only watched the first one, which came out when I was in junior high. Of course, back then it was like SO cool. Now, I'm not quite sure what I found so compelling about watching cheerleaders shake... things. ;) However, it is notable for its inclusion of Eliza Dushku as one of the main characters.

Spirit fingers...interesting...

I have a younger sister. The worst part about it is I saw a lot of 'her' movies when she watched them in the living room. As a result, I've seen Bring It On. I'm so, so ashamed of myself.

Nothing is worse than From Justin to Kelly, as far as I'm concerned. It is the WORST thing I have ever seen in my entire life. My BFF and I watched three movies in a row, all were supposed to be some of the worst ever made. I don't remember the first one, but the second one we watched was FJTK, and it was so bad that we were laughing and cringing 10 minutes in. The last one we watched was Gigli, which we both agreed was totally cheated out of the Oscar for Best Picture.

Well, comparatively, at least.

I have tried to watch From Justin to Kelly. I think the longest I've survived is maybe 20 minutes. It is hideously bad. Compared to that, Bring It On is on par with Lawrence of Arabia. :P

#100: I'm not quite sure what I found so compelling about watching cheerleaders shake... things. -- Oh dear. I wouldn't mention that in public. ;) Reminds me of that whole cheerleader obsession in American Beauty.

Ha ha! Eliza Dushku was in that? I can't imagine her in a teen role. I guess I've seen her in too many scary movies to think she could crack a smile.

#101: Ooh, Stephen, I'm ashamed of you too! ;) j/k. Believe me, I've seen my fair share of crap movies.

#102: I have no intentions of watching that one. Not only is it a musical (urgh), but it got 1.7/10 stars at IMDb. Ouch!

I haven't seen Gigli either. I just can't do it.

#103: You watched From Just to Kelly?? 20 minutes?? You brave, brave girl.

#104 Hey! No badmouthing American Beauty!

Too bad, no Urban Dictionary entry for 'badmouthing.' Someone needs to capitalize on that one.

>104 saraslibrary: You must not be watching the right stuff. I'm sure she smiled in every Joss Whedon production she worked on. :P

I will never attempt watching any really bad movie again. It's not worth the brain cells I can feel dying.

>106 Ape: Well, we know what you're doing this morning. :P

Well, we know what you're doing this morning. :P

What!? So you really do have a pen-camera on my desk!? Eeek!

#105: American Beauty sucks! (runs for cover) Not really. I just think it was overhyped.

#106: Well, bad mouthed is close enough: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bad%20mouthed . :x

#107: In Buffy, she probably did smile a whole lot. I was thinking more along the lines of Wrong Turn, Open Graves, The Alphabet Killer, Soul Survivors, etc. And grimaces and sneers don't count. ;)

#108: And clean up your room, Stephen. :P

My bedroom? That's where the camera is? *Phew* Good, then you didn't see anything scandalous, in that case.

>109 saraslibrary: And in that list of films I have seen exactly... none. However, she was in Bottle Shock and she may or may not have smiled. I was too busy trying to ignore Chris Pine's awful wig.

#110: Um, bathroom then?

#111: Bottle Shock...hmm, nope I haven't seen that one. I'll have to see if we have it at work. I like Chris Pine, awful wig or not. ;)

#109 I agree, it featuring in IMDB Top 250 may be overdoing it, but it isn't a movie to be criticised.

>112 saraslibrary: Bottle Shock is actually pretty good. Chris Pine is always attractive (even in the awful wig). Plus it has Alan Rickman in it. And it's a well-known fact that Alan Rickman makes any move 10x better. ;)

#114: it's a well-known fact that Alan Rickman makes any move 10x better

In some cases, 100x times better :)

#113: I think I was burned out by it when it first came out and won a ton of awards. Now I don't mind it so much. I'd even buy a copy if I found one cheap enough.

#114: I had to google Alan Rickman, but I recognized his picture immediately. (I'm terrible with names!) I love a lot of movies he's in (Perfume: The Story of a Murderer especially), but I think I'm gonna skip with Bottle Shock. I have a ton of movies I need to watch before they're due.

#115: I agree--he made an awesome bad guy in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

To go back to Eliza Dushku (I swear I'm not obsessed with this topic, I just had a random moment yesterday that I will explain outside of these parentheses), my parents were watching True Lies yesterday. And Eliza Dushku is in that. And she smiled. Mind you, it's pre-teen Eliza Dushku, but she smiled all the same. Although, I'm not sure what casting director thought Arnold Schwarzenegger could pass for her father. Anyway, just thought that was enjoyably random. :)

Can't imagine why when I stumbled on this while browsing Google I felt the urge to post it on this thread in particular.



Now that's a bath toy.

Oh Stephen. What are you saying about Ernie now?

Haha, oh dear, I didn't think of that. *Reads the lyrics.* ...oh...dear...

Corrupting childhood memories once again.

Heh heh heh.

#117: Ok, ok, I give. Yes, Eliza smiles (occasionally)--



--but this is how I always remember her:



And Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter?? I think not. Does he even have a daughter? 'Cause the only mental image I'm getting is a pig-tailed fraulein on steroids.

#118: I don't know whether to feel flattered that you thought of my thread when you found that or a tad grossed out. . . . I'm going with grossed out. :P

#119 - 123: I have no idea what the Ernie connection is, so I'm off to google that.

Love the naughty ducky pic, btw. :)

#124: Arnold's two oldest children are both daughters, Sara.

Aww, c'mon, this is the only thread I've ever known to discuss 'personal massagers.' It was a perfectly reasonable association. :P

#125: Arnold having children . . . nope, I can't get my teensy little brain around that one. He's still the Terminator to me.

#126: Hmm, you're right. Now just give me a sec to find something zombie-ish to post on your thread. ;)

>124 saraslibrary: It's not a bad mental picture to have of Eliza Dushku. :)

And dude, how did you not get the Sesame Street reference??? I am so sad that that went over your head.

Would you believe I wasn't let out of my closet until I stopped biting people? By then, I missed all the really cool TV shows. (sighs) But you should see my toenail collection--it's huge! ;)

I saw on the tv show Oddities a lady who made figurines out of finger/toenails. They were cool! :D

I wonder if she made any money from it.... o_0

What do you make of this guy??

Actually, she was visiting the shop to sell her collection of toenails (in a jar) that apparently she wasn't using, and wound up selling one of the shopkeepers one of her pieces.

As far as THAT guy... *cringe* Ohhh, the BACTERIA! Icky...

I don't know which is crazier--that she thought she could sell her toenails, or that someone would buy them?! Just odd.

Yeah, unfortunately (or maybe not), there aren't too many toe/fingernail pictures on google. Just that guy and a few others. Maybe I need to get more creative with my search words, like add fetish in there somewhere.

I'll leave you to that. *Shudders*

What, no useful words?? You're no help. :P

Btw, be warned: if you google toenail fetish, it automatically thinks you mean toenail fungus. XP

Wow! Google took a naughty search and made it less-naughty? Okay, that's it, I'm convinced toenails have some sort of magical power with inherently evil properties, it's the only thing that makes sense.

I wish it were so, but I'm gonna have to take back what I said. On my work computer, all I got were toenail fungus pics. But at home:



It's Mamma Bear from the Berenstain Bears! :)

And never mind the toenail fetish sites I found. Not clicking those after seeing that.

And somehow SHE made it into my search results. Go figure. Just thought I'd share since it's Sunday--Amen! Hallelujah! and all that hocus pocus. Plus I've been seeing Catholic nuns and priests nonstop in the past couple horror flicks I've been watching. Spooky, aren't they? The nuns, I mean. Not the chainsaw-wielding wackos. ;)

Now that's something worth worshipping...

Not acknowledging the toenails. *Vomits*

Ugh! I go away for a day and suddenly it's a gross-a-palooza on Sara's thread. I should know better than to click on links around these parts and yet I do anyway. *shudder*

#137 The "She" is scary for some reason I cannot explain.

Praying-mantis-like, in the sense that she will devour you afterward? Yes, well...I'm okay with that. :P

All right it's time for something cute and fluffy around here.

Awww, reminds me of the little ducky vibrator I posted above... ;)

You're a sick, sick man, Stephen. :P

It's not my fault this time. I naturally associate Disney with naughtiness, what with all the male genitalia they plaster all over their movie covers. That in combination with the fact that we are posting on You-Know-Who's thread, there isn't anything that can't incite perverse thoughts around here. *Weeps* I'm innocent!

#138: Glad you included the toenail comment or I would've thought you meant worshipping those feet.

And next time, bring a vomit bag when you come to my dungeon. It's hard to get all those chunks to go down the drain in the floor.

#139: Because you're secretly a gross perv deep at heart. Admit it! Just don't click this link now or you're really a perv!

#140: I think that's the point. All that punishment and naughtiness ahead. Hee hee!

#141: Don't forget, they also tend to eat the male during sex, too. Praying mantises, I mean. Hmm, and probably leather-clad dominatrixes too. I wouldn't put it past them.

#142: Ok, now you're just trying to scare me! Am I the only one who thinks Stitch is flippin' creepy?? Those teeth!



#143: Hey, google duck vibrators for me, will ya? I tried to at work and kept getting the most G-rated results. (pouts) Well, except for this one:



It was just flippin' bizarre. That's the X-ray of a duck with an alien hiding inside. Suuure. Don't believe me? Here's the article: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/06/01/alien_duck/ .

#144: That he is. And thankfully, he's highly contagious--and there's no cure! :)

#145: Well, we'll see what Sister Latex Boobs (mss #137) has to say about that. ;)

#138: Glad you included the toenail comment or I would've thought you meant worshipping those feet.

I didn't, initially, but I was afraid that was going to happen so I added it real quick before hitting the post button. Phew, I'm so glad I did, now. :P

*Clicks* Awww...disappointing...

I already posted a picture of a duck vibrator, it's in post 118! :) Here's a custom version of the above toy, and it goes nicely with the Sister Latex Boobs conversation.

>146 saraslibrary: Now there's a link I can appreciate! You're creeped out by Stitch and you let Stephen hang around on your thread. You are a woman of many contradictions. ;)

#147: Aren't you glad that little Edit button's there? :)

And speaking of Edit buttons, I probably should've said: "Stephen, don't click this link." I mean, we already know you're a perv. So does that just make you a smidge more pervier or gayer? Hmm, I'll have to consult my Magic 8 ball for such a question. Make that 2 questions:

1) Is Stephen pervier? A: Very Doubtful Without A Doubt
2) Is Stephen gayer? A: My Reply Is No Signs Point To Yes

(Hmph. :/ Needless to say, I didn't like those answers. So I scratched them out and changed them. :)

I am somehow more bothered by a poor duck in bondage than anything else. :o That's just so wrong. A nun I can see in leather, but a duck? Nooo. Or Hello Kitty! Just so, so wrong. (shakes head)

#148: You're welcome. :) And are you comparing Stephen to a blue alien? Don't know if he'll like that. ;) Besides, I don't think Stephen has nails and teeth like that little guy, so he (Stephen) doesn't scare me at all.

*Snickers* Shaking a ball to determine whether I'm perverted/gay. Haha, yeah, umm, it's remarkably similar to my own method. :P

I can't speak for nails but my teeth are pretty scary. That's why you won't ever see me smile for a picture. What scares you more, alien-thing fangs or crazy gapped 'hillbilly' teeth.

(And by 'hillbilly' teeth I mean 'poverty-stricken' teeth. They are just hillbilly teeth because of my location. If I lived in a bad neighborhood in a big city they'd be 'ghetto' teeth.)

:P

Technically, I didn't shake anything, so :P* I just rolled the ball in my hands a few times. That's a completely innocent statement, thank you. Double :P atcha if you think otherwise.

lmao @ ghetto/hillbilly teeth definition. I think that might be good enough for the Urban Dictionary. I haven't checked yet.

But whether "alien-thing fangs or crazy gapped 'hillbilly' teeth" scare me more, I'm gonna have to go with alien-thing fangs. It's like saying which is scarier, Aliens or Deliverance. Gaps don't inflict as much pain as pointy teeth.

While I can't speak from experience, I honestly worry that my magneficiently bucked/gapped/horizontal-slanted teeth could cause pain to a person when I least want them to...d'oh.

Nope, nothing weird about rolling a magical ball in your hand to determine whether or not a man is perverted or gay. It seems like a solid method to me.

We've gone 4 posts with no sight of Micky and look what happens? Depravity! It's not that I'm a pervert, I'm just not as good as her at keeping you on the straight and narrow. Wait, no, that's not what I meant, bad choice of words...

Heh heh heh. Didn't get near my computer yesterday and since LT doesn't have an app (WHY?????), I couldn't check it on my shiny new phone. But I'm back now and here to make sure things don't get too pervy. How about a nice debate over whether Archie should marry Betty or Veronica? Anyone? Anyone?

I confess to having no clue what you were talking about until I Googled. Ummm... *Shrug* Which one reads books? :D

Oh, and I took the 'innocent' route there. You asked which of two women a man should marry!? You realize there are a MILLION ways to turn that perverse, right? :P

Whoa, Stephen and innocent in the same sentence. I think my mind was just blown. ;)

As for not knowing Archie comics... there are no words. I owned only one Archie comic as a kid (and I was never huge on comic books) but they're always in with the magazines at the grocery store check out. Not knowing who Archie and gang are also blows my mind. Now you're going to tell me you don't know The Flintstones or Scooby-doo... O_o

#152: :D Oh, dear. I'm trying to keep a straight face here, but where exactly would your teeth be on a person that could cause them pain? My brain is sooo going the gay route there. Stop it, brain, stop it!

Yep, all my life decisions come down to my magic 8 ball. And as for whether a guy is perverted or gay, I just assume he's both until he proves me otherwise. ;) And even then, I have my doubts.

Micky's AWOL?? Oh no! :o No, wait. There she is. (waves @ Micky) Better hand her the whipping stick, Stephen. You don't seem to be keeping me in line at all. :P

#153: Not to worry about actually having a life, Micky. :) And congrats on getting a shiny new phone! I'm not a big fan of cell phones, but one would be so handy when I'm out shopping, so I don't end up buying doubles of something I already have on LT.

Archie's getting married?? I thought they were all just kids? (shrugs) Either way, I think Archie should convert to Mormonism and marry them both. ;)



See? It could work out. (FYI: it's kinda pretty scary how many adult threesome pics are out there of Archie, Betty, and Veronica.)

#154: What? One of those girls actually reads?? I don't believe it.

#155: Ha! You said blown.

I've never read any of the Archie comics, but we have a ton of them at work, so I'm fairly familiar with them, though I still don't know which chick is which.

#156: I still don't know which chick is which.

Veronica is on the left. Betty is on the right. Now you know :)

Thank you, Professor Stasia! :)

Being old has to count for something, right?

My front teeth are practically horizontal, as a kid they rested on my bottom lip actually. As I grew older and more self-conscious I began 'sucking them in' (not helping with the gay thoughts, there) so now instead of having vertical hillbilly teeth sticking out of my mouth I just have a huge bottom lip. They don't seriously stick out further than my tongue though, no worries. Still, I'm prone to irrational fears, if you haven't figured that out yet. :)

as for whether a guy is perverted or gay, I just assume he's both until he proves me otherwise. ;)

Wait wait wait, how? How can a guy prove he's not gay without appearing perverted? Geez, no wonder you ladies always think all men a perverts, if this is your method for determining such. :P

#159: Absolutely, even if it's just to correct us ignorant youngin's about comic book characters. I knew we kept you old people around for a reason. ;)

#160: There's only one cure for that--homemade braces! Yay! You're not against a little pain now, are you? I figure homemade braces would be a little less invasive than homemade dentures. ;) Sooo kidding, but I know what you mean about being self-conscious about your teeth. I had friends growing up who would tease me about my teeth, because I had two in front that were poorly repaired (no insurance=crappy service), not to mention some others that were uneven. I guess I was lucky to get braces later on in high school, but the upkeep is neverending (I have to get my front ones redone every couple of years, because they stain easily, etc etc etc). I don't really have any good advice other than 1) get loads of facial piercings (they can't see your teeth when they're staring at a row of metal loops hanging from your eyebrows), 2) become a mute, 3) pretend to be contagious and wear a medical mask at all times, or 4) be thankful you even have teeth. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that last one, even though dentures start looking good after awhile.

no wonder you ladies always think all men a perverts

Oh, I don't think so, I know so. :P There's a giant P or G--or sometimes both!--on your guys' foreheads that only women can see. We have special powers like that. ;)

I'm taking the mute route, if my social phobias are any indication. ^_^

There's a giant P or G--or sometimes both!--on your guys' foreheads that only women can see. We have special powers like that. ;)

Don't be so sure of yourself. Men have that power too, they just never notice because they are too busy staring at the woman's breasts. :P

I kinda figured you'd go the mute route. Don't like piercings, I guess? ;) Keep up on your sign language skills then or nobody'll believe you're mute.

Oh, pshaw! Women are never perverts. They're too innocent for that. :P

they are too busy staring at the woman's breasts.

Like I said: women aren't pervs. :P

Sara, of all people, says women aren't pervs. Haha, oh dear, very funny. :P

Piercings are fine on other people, they are even attractive sometimes. I just don't get any satifaction from hanging metal from puncture wounds in my face, is all. :( Nope, being mute is much more effecient.

Wow I have so much to catch up on...

Ahem. I'm right here and the living embodiment of the fact that women aren't pervs. :P

Now where's that whipping stick to keep the two of you in line? ;)

No no, Micky, you don't count. We are all readers here, so we are not accurate representations of the 'average' person. Nope. Besides, if we book freaks were like 'normal' people I would behave just like any other man, and we know that isn't true. I mean, I'm not like them, I don't act like them and I don't OMG DID YOU SEE THE JOGGER RUN BY JUST NOW!?!?!? *ahem* What was I saying...?

I was reading these posts during work and I was really trying to hold back my laughter. Plus I couldn't click on the links because they would most likely be blocked. Now I will try to really catch up on the posts.

>167 Ape: I was nowhere near Ohio today, Stephen. How did you know I went running? O_o

Now, while I am the first to admit that I am not normal (seriously, I had a debate last night with one of my friends after seeing a production of Othello whether race was a major motivating factor for Iago's actions), I think I'm nearer to the normal end of the spectrum when compared with you and Sara.

Monica: Haha, yes, this thread isn't exactly something you want to read in public. Not only does Sara do that, but she searches for pictures to post in public! In a library, no less! :o

Micky: Sure, sure, you are so much normaler than us. *Plucks french fry from Micky's hair* Yep...

The only reason there's a french fry in my hair to begin with is because you threw it there, Stephen. :P So hey, any reading going on, Sara?

See? You bring up books and the thread dies. This thread is literally fueled by dirty jokes and phallus-shaped objects. Sara beats them until they liquefy, and then inserts them into her tank. ...it's an interesting process.

LMAO! I beat phallus-shaped objects until they liquefy, then insert them into my "tank"?? XD That sounds a tad bit icky.

And sorry for not responding sooner! I'm waaay behind on everything it seems, but I promise once my shift's over (in 2.5 more hours), I'll try and respond to messages.

*whistles innocently and then twiddles thumbs while waiting for Sara*

Seriously though, no worries. The bloodstains on your wall are all from Stephen's zombies. Well, some of it might be Stephen's. Crossbows are not that easy to aim it turns out. *shrug* :D

Sara: Oh no, it's a beautiful thing, not icky at all. It's the results that are icky. Just look at this place. :P

*Pulls crossbow bolt out of eye* At least I don't die when I take a shot to the brain. Zombies are SO weak. *Crushes beer can with forehead for no apparent reason*

Oops, did I say I'd respond to messages right after my shift? Sorry, a tad bit late.

#164: I still stick by my "women aren't pervs" motto. It's just not possible. End of story. :P

(writes note to self) No piercing Stephen in his sleep either. Bummer. :(

#165: So do I, Monica. Don't worry about it. :)

#166: Yes, you certainly deserve sainthood. 0:)

As for whipping sticks, I'll loan you this lady and her, um, rolling pin(?!), because you really don't want to see what I found on Google. I've got butt sympathy pains from all those pics. X(

#167: Micky doesn't count as a woman? (gulp) I'm hiding for that one. Let's hope she's merciful at least. (hides behind sofa)

But I do agree we're not an accurate representation of the average person. (mumbles) Especially you.

And stop chasing women! They'll stop running if you stop chasing them. :P

#168: Oh, yes, don't ever click a link on my thread--especially if you're at work! :o Unless you work where I do, and then nobody thinks twice about you looking at things like sports bras online. Go figure. Bunch of pervs, I tell you. ;)

#169: You see that satellite up in the sky, Micky? That's how he does it. And you thought he had a really, really big *ahem* binoculars.

Othello . . . Oh, um, suuure. That one story about that one guy. Read it loads of times. (quickly clicks link)

Normal end of the spectrum? You can have it. Whenever I read that word, I keep seeing rectum instead. Stupid dyslexia (not really).

#170: Hee hee. No, not good public reading--or any kind of reading, for that matter. But I like to test how strict our google searches are at work. Like the other day, I was googling something innocent (seriously!) and found my first porn pic. (mock gasp) I have been scarred for life. I'll have to walk around with my hands up like horse blinders so I can't see the opposite sex. Might as well hold my thumb over their wanker parts, too, so as to further protect my innocence. I really don't think I'm gonna get too much work done this week.

(looks @ French fry) You going to eat that or keep waving it around like a wand?

#171: Why do you let Stephen throw food in your hair? It's not very hygenic, I'll tell you that. ;)

Oh, reading . . . uh . . . (scratches head and consults list) Grimmer Tales: A Wicked Collection of Happily Never After Stories, Thank You Notes by Jimmy Fallon, and Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer--all pretty good. I even checked out Thank You Notes from work. I think that's probably the second book I've checked out from work this year. Pretty pathetic, right? I work in a library and only check out movies. Sheesh.

#174: Hope your thumbs haven't fallen off by now.

Bloodstains? On my walls? How can you tell? It all blends in after awhile.

And no Stephen zombies on my thread! You have my permission to shoot them all you like, Micky.

#175: Are you saying I don't know how to keep a dungeon clean, huh?

(pokes Stephen's eyeball) I don't think you're gonna get much reading done with only one eyeball. You might want to harvest some eyes from your zombies before Micky shoots the other one out. Just saying, she shoots like a girl.

My faith in humanity would plummet dramatically if I were an accurate representation of the average human. What a horrible, horrible thought. By the way, I think you just admitted I'm NOT a pervert, otherwise I'd be just like every other 'gentleman.' :D

Nope, no really, really big binoculars here. Mine are tiny and made of cheap plastic. Don't make fun of me! They are compact and fit neatly into their little box! ...STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! :_(

Micky doesn't shoot like a 'girl.' Her aim is just compromised from spending so much time at the normal end of the rectum.

I most certainly did not say you weren't a pervert. Where? When did I say that? I plead insanity. The blonde dyes have finally leaked into my brain and muddled what I meant to say, which is Stephen, you are a most definitely a pervert. There. No confusion now. :P

And I must say, I'm surprised you still have faith in humanity at all, especially with all the science books and whatnot you read. And even though you're 100% a pervert, you're still better than most people in this world, so be glad you don't fit into the normal/average mold. Wow. That almost sounded nice of me. Don't know what's gotten into me. (shakes head)

(trying to keep a straight face) There, there, Stephen. Nobody's mocking the size of your, um, binoculars. I'm sure they do a swell job as being a backup pair of opera glasses. ;)

(snorts) Ha! You said rectum. :D

You most definitely did say I was not a pervert.

EXACT QUOTE as posted by SARA in post 176:

But I do agree we're not an accurate representation of the average person. (mumbles) Especially you.

See? Men are perverts by nature (it is actually a instinctual need to replicate one's genes (y'know, inside a woman's vagina) being misconstrued as perverseness) and, not being an accurate representation of the average man makes me non-pervy! Muahaha!

Wow, that paragraph is a tangled mess. Oh well.

I am flabbergasted by the niceness as well. I'm not so much concerned about what's gotten into you as to what may have gotten into your drink. *Inspects closely* Hmmm, nope, no explanation there.

And didn't say something nice about you on my thread? The humidity must be melting our frigid hearts. *Kicks someone in the shin in hopes of restoring normalcy*

My, um, binoculars do indeed do a swell job. Besides, most guys think they can see things better with a bigger set of...binoculars. Me? I would prefer to do the extra effort and just get up close and personal with whatever I'm binocularing.

Ooooh, that. That wasn't a compliment at all. If anything, I think I called you a freak. (quickly hides behind her dogs) No fast moves or they'll lick you to death! Won't you, my sweet little babies?

Hmm . . . (ponders the average man perv logic) Makes sense. Kind of. But doesn't that just make you a woman then?

My drink? (eyeballs ingredients) Nothing but a buttload of caffeine and other bad things I really shouldn't be ingesting. Maybe it's the movie I'm watching (Resident Evil--nothing like a few zombies to make me feel all warm and fuzzy) or the music I'm listening to (who doesn't like a little goth/industrial noise?).

You said something nice about me on your thread? Nu-uh. I don't believe it. (kicks the invisible nobody in the other shin) Besides, it's not humid here at all. Kinda nice. 70's. I even got away with wearing two shirts today. :P

Binocularing? :D Only you could make binoculars sound all penis-y.

All this talk of binoculars and I've suddenly pictured Stephen birdwatching and creeping up really close to a bluejay or something. :P

And I do shoot like a girl. I also run like a girl and throw like a girl. It's the natural side effect of BEING a girl. On the bright side, I can put my head against a wall and pick up a chair while Stephen can't. So that makes up for everything else... ;)

As for mostly checking out movies from the library, Sara, that's totally fine. Libraries specialize in all sorts of narrative media. I'm not going to judge you.

Oh yes, Stephen creeping around with binoculars I can definitely see, but a bluejay? This is Ape Man we're talking about here. No matter how non-pervy he insists he is, he still has testosterone floating around in that head (*ahem* no comment from you, mister) of his. Replace bluejay with a near-naked chick and you've got the perfect image.

Is there something special about being able to put your head against a wall and picking up a chair? I mean, I knew our vaginas are strong and all (gotta do those Kiegels, girls), but not that strong to lift a chair.

Riiight. The last time someone told me they wouldn't judge me, I distinctly saw an eyeroll. ;)

Women's centre of gravity is lower and thus they can lift the chair, whereas men's centre of gravity is higher and they can't. I remember doing this experiment proving this fact in science class in junior high. *shrug*

No eyerolls here, I swear. Now if you happen to have a candy sushi roll, I'm all over that. :D

But again, Sara, considering how odd, strange, and pervy most guys are, being 'freakish' is most definitely a compliment. And yes, I believe I called you had a sweet and nice side somewhere buried under all the naked people in your mind.

As far as being a woman, nope, pretty far from it. All I have is man-boobs. (You'll notice the word 'man' there.)

Micky: That's what you pictured? After the last paragraph of post 179 you should have been picturing something a bit more like this. Or did my innuendo go wrong somewhere? :(

Sara is wrong, I don't do that with binoculars. Why go through all the trouble when I have the internet, no bionculars required?

What Micky mean's to say is that she is better at bending over chairs than me. :(

#183: All women's center of gravity is low or does it just have to do with height? That's interesting. I'll have to try that at home.

Candy sushi roll?? Bleh! I'm seriously hoping there's no fish in that. Just soymilk and applesauce for lunch here, I'm afraid.

#184: Are you sure freakish is a compliment?



But hey, they're hiring! I call dibs on being the fire eater.

Oh yes, the naked people compliment. I forgot about that. All I remembered were naked people, and I couldn't figure out if you meant dead or alive people. Unconscious is acceptable, I guess.

Man boobs? I never quite figured that one out. It's not like we women call our knockers women boobs. Stop giving your boobs airs. :P

lmao & eww-ing at the same time. What the hell, dude? I'm at work. Stop Keep posting such odd pictures on my thread. XD

Yes, that's the nice thing about the internet--no binoculars needed and so much more is legal (for now anyway, until they start making laws ::heavy sigh::).

lol @ she is better at bending over chairs than me. That could so be misinterpreted. ;)

No no, Sara, we have to maintain a certain level of perviness on this thread. I get to be the fire eater, you have to be the sword swallower. :)

On man-boobs: They are a feminine thing that I would prefer not to have. You are perfectly welcome to call them 'lady-testicles' if you ever find such a thing on your body. o.o

I was going to post a picture of a lady 'picking up a chair.' As in, I was going to post a picture of a lady 'bent over' a chair, and say "Micky mean's she's better than I am at doing this." But I couldn't find a non-explicit image to use. D'oh.

>184 Ape: Ewww. Stephen, that picture is terrifyingly creepy. And I can safely say that no pictures like that existed in my brain until this moment. So thanks for that *she said sarcastically*.

>185 saraslibrary: As far as I remember, all women's centre of gravity is lower. Has something to do with the hips, I think. Junior high science is a little fuzzy these days.

>186 Ape: Yet more reasons why I am very careful in what I google...

Women have wider hips, men have broarder shoulders, so yeah, again with the bending over thing...but breasts have no effect? Hmmmm...I'm not so sure, I've never known breasts to have no effect on anything.

I've been reading google articles about it. Supposedly you are supposed to take 3 steps away from the wall (heel-to-toe steps) and it could be that women have smaller feet, so they stand closer to the wall. Of course, they are shorter too. Now I need to find a foot size-to-height average ratio statistic for men and women.

A better way to test the theory would be to measure height, and then use that to determine how far away from the wall a person should stand. The 'take 3 steps' technique sounds unreliable and is a variable that needs to be removed for more accurate results.

>188 Ape: Mmm, I've found my breasts have very little effect on most aspects of my life. Running and when I eat popcorn are usually about the only times they seem to interfere.

But all your google research matches up from what I remember from science class, Stephen, so good job there. :)

Just running and eating popcorn? Really? Hmmm, well, I guess the same is true for my testicles. Except the eating popcorn part.

Well, really the eating popcorn rules applies to anything (i.e. food) that could potentially fall into my cleavage.

Sounds convenient, having it fall on the floor is such a waste of good popcorn.

#186: (whines) Why do I have to always swallow stuff? Not fair! That's just plain sexist.

lol @ lady testicles. Well, yes, I suppose I do have those, except mine haven't descended yet, and I think my doctor prefers the term ovaries. I'll stick with ovaries, thank you. :P

I think your saying Micky's better at bending over chairs is enough of a sexual innuendo than posting any pic you could find on google (which is hard to find one that's not pervy, I agree; I looked too).

#187: Isn't that tongue picture something else? Too bad we don't have one of those glory holes at my work. :( All we get is extra toilet paper.

Women's center of gravity is lower? Is that code for women=fat asses. How depressing.

You're lucky you remember anything from jr high. I try to block anything school-related from my mind. Not good memories there.

#188: I would think breasts would at least have the effect of getting in the way, so I'm still baffled by the whole chair-lifting experiment. I think I'll pass in trying it out for myself.

#190: LOL! I read your message too fast. For a sec, I thought you meant your testicles get in the way of your eating popcorn. Glad I re-read that one!

#191: Who needs pockets when you've got good cleavage? Remind me to invite you to the movies, so you can sneak in some snacks for everyone. ;)

lol @ lady testicles. Well, yes, I suppose I do have those, except mine haven't descended yet, and I think my doctor prefers the term ovaries. I'll stick with ovaries, thank you. :P

Have you ever had a gynecologist tell you to turn your head and cough during an exam? :P

You should have seen the other results I got when looking for 'licking' pictures. That one made me laugh though, and it was an interesting perspective for what I was intending it to imply.

Nope, my testicles don't usually get in the way when I eat popcorn. Most of the time...

You ladies have all the advantages when it comes to smuggling things. Purses, cleavage, vaginas. *sigh* No fair.

I really prefer to smuggle food into the theatre with my purse as my cleavage isn't THAT big, whereas I always make sure my purse can hold a book, and thus there is always room for a snack. :D But that's the only place I use to smuggle things. Besides Stephen, you're a guy and thus you multiple pockets on every piece of clothing you could wear. Clothes for women are severely lacking in the pockets department and even more severely lacking in the useful pockets department. *sigh*

#194: Ok, ok, testicle point taken.

I wish I'd seen your licking pic results, because I'm googling at work (I'm on lunch), and it's oh so disappointing. :( @#!% restrictions!

Crotch food's the best. Just when you think you've eaten everything, you look down and hooray! Something's stuck to your crotch. Preferably something that stains very badly. That's the best. ;)

Carrying my wallet in my vagina? Good god, I had a friend in high school who used to say that. Yes, he was obviously a guy and really wanted a vagina just so he could do that. Could you imagine how uncomfortable that would be? No, never mind. You're a guy. :P Then just imagine what it would look like with a guy wearing a chain on his wallet that leads into his pants instead of his pocket. o_0

#195: I actually don't own a purse, but jackets and loose tops are great, too. And pockets are a must when I buy pants! I never compared men's and women's jeans, though, so I don't know who has more pockets, but I'll just blame men since Stephen's here. :P

Btw, it's the beginning of August and I'm nearing 200 messages, so I started a new thread: http://www.librarything.com/topic/121441 .