TPBM 91 - The sum of (one each) of our coins (of less than a dollar)

Abbotthomas suggested that his respondent can whistle a happy tune.

I wish! I can't do anything that requires breath control.

TPBM meditates.

No, but I occasionally ponder deeply.

TPBM finds that doing something seemingly unrelated while pondering helps them solves problems, and will tell us what that thing is.

Depends what I'm pondering. The seemingly unrelated something has to be unrelated to the subject matter of said ponderings.

Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of me in all my cold-weather padding as suggested in the last thread. Let's just say that there was a lot of padding and leave it at that.

The person below me is going places.

Sure! The grocery store, the doctor, the coffee shop, the library ... Yep, that's pretty much it.

TPBM has an acute sense of smell.

I shower every day!

//Nice take on 91, Whole.//

TPBM has the Midas touch.

Either that, or turmeric stains from making dinner. Will everything I touch turn to curry?

TPBM is fussy about the color of the pens they write with.

Not just the color, the line width and feel.

TPBM is fussy about paper.

Yes. I don't like it scratchy.

TPBM is also fussy about paper.

Yes, My favorite kind has $$$on it.

TPBM is fussy about coffee.

For some years all my coffee at home has been made with my Nespresso machine. I need to emphasise that I bought it well before George Clooney started advertising the brand. I am happy with the coffee and the pods mean that there are no messy grounds to deal with. I close my eyes and ears to ethical concerns about Nestlé. (end of commercial!)

TPBM has a proper espresso machine

Sure do! A Gaggia Classic after using a Gaggia Baby Millenium for almost 20 years. . . it died. The Classic makes great espresso which is all I drink. Don't ask me about anything other than espresso. . . I don't like to pollute the geat coffee flavor! I get my beans from a local roaster and they are great!

TPBM has a good local roaster close by as well!!

Wouldn't know: I prefer my caffeine either carbonated or steeped, not brewed.

The person below me has an odd caffeine preference.

Chocolate. But that's not odd. I gave up soda, but drink weak coffee in the morning as a substitute ritual. I like iced tea but can't drink it too late in the day or it keeps me up. This getting old is annoying.

The person below me can tell us an odd preference.

oops jumped but it probably counts as an odd preference.

Does caffeinated soap count?


TPBM has another example.

I may never hear the end of this, but I like cold vegetarian baked beans with red wine vinegar.

TPBM also has an odd preference.

I like Brussels sprouts, even thought I know they are bitter. Lima beans, too. Must be a chemical thing, some vitamin in them that I'm lacking.

TPBM always roots for the bull.

In bullfighting, yes. In politics, no.

//>16 SomeGuyInVirginia: If you slice them in half and roast them with olive oil, salt and pepper, brussel sprouts aren't bitter at all. They are very sweet.//

TPBM is bitter.

//But >17 morningwalker: that would ruin his pristine stove!//

//>18 John_Vaughan: Thanks for the reminder J_V, what WAS I thinking?//

Maybe a little. I had a moment of existential despair while contemplating a flock birds outside the dentist's office window. Some bitterness, mostly sadness.

On the upside, my dental problems will probably be resolved for less than seventy bucks. Smiling...

TPBM sees the upside.

Sure, from the bottom of the hole, everything is up.
I've been sick all week -- right when MrsHouseLibrary needs me the most. She has her last chemo a week ago, and she can hardly get out of bed.
I can't get anywhere near her. Currently on antibiotics. I swear, I want to pop the head off the little b*****d who (purposely) did this to me.

My neighbors are all helping us, though; next door, across the street -- great neighbors!

TPBM also has great neighbors.

Yes, one plows my driveway when we get snow dumped on us and one has daughters that take care of the pets when I need to get out of town. Then there's that one weird one...

//>21 WholeHouseLibrary: Hope things improve for you and MrsHouseLibrary//

TPBM will send WHL chicken soup and well wishes.

Consider them sent.

TPBM never takes a sick day.

Only once in 40-odd years. I had very occasional illness which might have stopped me working but it always happened in holidays or days off - must be something to do with stress hormones.

TPBM keeps their eye on the ball

//>21 WholeHouseLibrary: I feel for you. When my late husband was in the hospital with his initial diagnosis & chemo, there was a flu epidemic and I got the flu. He was in the hospital 3 week & I could hardly visit him. Three years later that I found out my somewhat atypical "flu" was in fact a flair up of a cancer I didn't know I had. :-( Life is weird.//

Today it's been keeping an eye on the timer because I'm making husband a cheesecake for his birthday tomorrow and keeping an eye on the bird feeders because we have a new suet feeder and the birds are liking it a lot.

TPBM is keeping their eye on something else.

Aak! Leapt!

It's true, I'm just counting the minutes until I can run out of here.

You better, because you can never be sure what heinous deviltry the other guy's balls are up to.

TPBM has given the devil his due.

It's going to have to wait until I sub at that school again.

TPBM ets an adequate amount of sleep each night (and will reveal how.)

Muscle relaxants because I clench my teeth at night and, since January 29th, not having to set an alarm to go to work because I retired.

TPBM gets up at an unusual time every day.

Not now, but in college I got up every morning at 6 am because I liked to.

TPBM has danced with royalty.

I believe my husband is a prince, so I guess I have.

TPBM is related to royalty.

Long ago an aunt on my dad's side did some genealogy and became convinced that we were Polish nobility, but shortly after that she was institutionalized, so who knows.

TPBM knows.

Who do you think I am -- the Shadow?

TPBM lives a clandestine life.

In the sense that nobody knows what I'm doing. But that's because I'm not doing anything they consider interesting, rather than because I'm hiding anything.

TPBM has an entourage.

Only when carrying an open can of cat food.

TPBM has a fan club.

My husband, daughter, and two kitties. They're all on my side and love me unconditionally, bless their hearts. I'm lucky.

TPBM was or is in an official fan club and will tell us what it is.

Back in my misspent youth I was very involved in the local SF and fantasy fan group and helped organize a number of SF & F cons. I met a few well-known writers. Theodore Sturgeon admired my "apricot" coloured hair. I rode in an elevator with Poul Anderson.

TPBM has had a fan girl (or boy) moment.

I once attended a small workshop at a large Star Trek convention on getting published. It was co-led by Harlan Ellison, Ray Bradbury and Robert Bloch. :::fanning:::

TPBM met ____________.

I served William Hurt rice one time and I met Barbara Rosenblat at a workshop (one of my favorite book narrators!).

The person below me met __________.

Lots of of authors at the Texas Book Festival.
Several favorite singer/songwriters over the decades.
But I'm not sure if I could top having dinner with George Burns and Carol Channing.

TPBM has been on TV, or maybe in some YouTube video.

Yikes, no I prefer to stay out of the spotlight. I don't even like my picture taken.

TPBM likes to emote.

Meh. I'm pretty sure 'expressing feelings' is the same thing as 'acting out'.

TPBM likes snickerdoodles.

I do. There are cookies I like better, but I make snickerdoodles on occasion, using the recipe my sister sent to me a zillion years ago.

TPBM thinks that putting salt on chocolate is a sin.

Oh no!! Dark caramel chocolates topped with sea salt? Da bomb!

TPBM has put in their Girl Scout cookie order.

Back in January. I give them the money and they send it overseas! They need the calories more than I do!

Does anyone put a bit of coffee in their chocolate cake? Our favorite chocolate cake with buttercream icing has a bit and nothing tastes better!

TPBM has another neat ingredient in a dessert!

Nope, I don't see any girls in ugly green dresses with ugly yellow sashes and green knee socks going door to door in my neighborhood anymore so I don't buy any.

TPBM knows what the official Girl Scout uniform is these days.

The girl scouts I know wear these cool vests that they sew all their badges on and pin their pins. Although I think skorts are still available for Brownies.

Speaking of brownies, I like nuts (pecans rather than walnuts) in my brownies.

TPBM is a brownie purist and doesn't approve of nuts.

Right! My tongue objects to stumbling over nuts in baked goods. I can only sometimes deal with them in ice cream.

TPBM knows how to deal.

And I'm not bad at shuffling, either.

TPBM deals with _____________.

Aging pets, static cling, lady bug invasion, overly packaged products.

TPBM deals with _________.

A deck stacked against me, always.

TPBM deals with ___________.

The devil, and gives him hell, too!

TPBM has noticed the first signs of spring, which are___________.

Bear scat? I'm not entirely sure, but I think that was what it was.

TPBM has a different indicator they look for.

My forsythia in bloom. Things are very confused right now, though, 2/3 of the way through winter, because it's been alternately hot and cold. I've already seen a few forsythia blooms.

TPBM likes spring but doesn't like hot humid summers.

Mud!!! Mud in the porch, mud in the kitchen, mud in the dog...

TPBM will expound on mud, mud, glorious mud.

Iʻve read an Australian author* who says
that pigs rolic in mud, not to get dirty
but to get cool; theyʻre basically a very
clean animal and mud is usually the
closest they can get to a supply of water.
Thatʻs all the expounding I can do;
anything more would only be ex-ouncing.

TPBM is used to unpaved sidewalks, and
doesnʻt mind being on a muddy or dusty
one.

*I donʻt remember her/his name.

I travel both paved and unpaved ones. However, I prefer the leaf strewn path in the woods.

TPBM takes the road less traveled.

Yes; it seems I always have and now always will.

TPBM relies on a Magic 8 Ball to make decisions.

No, just whim.

TPBM is rational

I think I'd rather say pragmatic. Although, I do have a certain fondness for Magic 8 Balls.

TPBM is pragmatic about ___________.

The inevitability of the Zombie Apocalypse. Like religion, things just started falling into place once I accepted it as fact.

TPBM is a fugitive from justice.

Despite the threats, they never actually charged me. So I'm good.

TPBM has a heck of a story to tell.

Do you want to hear the one about how I got the neighbor's bull out of my yard, or the one about how I got my horse back into it?

TPBM watches bull riding on TV and roots for the bulls, or has some other secret "vice."

No to the bull; yes to the secret -- and it shall remain so.

I want to see the story about getting the neighbor's bull out of the yard.

TPBM sill join me in demanding to hear Limelite's story.

The beans. Spill them.

//I always root for the bull. Always.//

TPBM leads the fight for law and order.

Law n'Order. Yes indeed. Our grass is at the proper height, the trees properly pruned. We anticipate more Law n'Order when we start implementing some landscaping plans in the spring.

TPBM's lawn is either under snow or puddles from recent severe storms.

Puddles today, snow tomorrow. Ah, diversity.

TPBM has a funny story to tell.

//The Bull Story//

When I lived in Miami, the folks on one side of us ran a bull on their 2.5 acres with only our chainlink fence to keep bull and us on good terms. That lasted many weeks. But nobody came to care for him or even visit; his water tank was in the hot sun; their lot was overrun with weeds. By contrast, we were usually home with our horses, dogs, and cats. Their water was clean and cool. Our yard was 2.5 acres of deep green, frequently mown, sweet smelling grass.

What would you do if you were a lonely, hot, and thirsty bull? He did it. A five foot chainlink fence means nothing when you weigh 3/4 of a ton. Imagine my surprise! Nevertheless, out I go to persuade Ferdinand that home is where the bull dumps are.

Now, it was my good fortune that after about half an hour of me making no progress at all, the two Cuban "cowboys" who owned Ferdy showed up on their land and I yelled at them to come get their bull. At first the language barrier prevented communication, the only words I wanted to say were, "Adios, Ferdy." Our horses watched nervously on their side of the wooden fence that kept them confined to the grove. Luckily, Ferdy had climbed in our back yard, only a little over an acre inarea. You'd think that would have made catching him easier. Yes, you would.

I looked at the two puzzled Cubans, pointed to my sweaty brow, stuck out my tongue and pointed down my throat, then pointed to the house. When I waved 'bye and left them to it, they set to work. From A/C comfort I watched for 15 minutes, sipping my limeade over ice, as they chased Ferdy up and down, back and forth, 'round and 'round. When they'd cornered him by the grapefruit tree, I figured it might be safe to think about unlocking the gate so they could herd Ferdy home.

Alas, this was not to be. Ferdy stampeded right over the top of the grapefruit tree and parked himself in front of our open garage door. That's where I met him with a pan of coarsely chopped carrots and apples; I'd thrown in a handful of sweet feed from the feed room where I also had the sudden foresight to get a horse halter and lead rope. Fully armed, I walked forward to confront poor panting Ferdy and pushed a water filled 5 gal. bucket toward his, ahem, snotty, dripping muzzle. The two "cowboys" came staggering up behind Ferdy. I made shushing sounds and gave a sign for them to stop.

After a long cooling drink, nothing makes a young bull happier than a little fresh fruit and veggie salad, sweetened. During the about 30 seconds I had with Ferdy in a blissful state, I slipped the halter around his neck, fastened the lead rope to it and signaled the "cowboys" to come and command Ferdy to heel.

That's about it. Ferdy was as sweet a bull as you could hope to meet on a dark night in a narrow alley. Sadly, I had to sign to the "cowboys" that Ferdy couldn't continue to be our neighbor, and there was our fence sagging on the ground that needed to be repaired. They understood. So, Ferdy was tied up in the shade of our bushovia tree that overhung and cast its shadow on their land until they could get a stock trailer and take him away to greener pastures. I don't remember if they ever fixed the fence or if we were left to do it. It doesn't matter, I got to make friends with an 1800 lb wanna be house pet and s story to tell as well.

Ferdy's story is nothing compared to how we survived the Burmese python in our garage! Or how we got the mama pig and her litter of piglets out of it after Hurricane Andrew. Or the story about the herd of feral horses that. . .

TPBM wisely prefers stories from professional authors. ______________ is his favorite animal story.

"Wall of Noise" (a novel) (1960s?)
by Daniel M. Stein. A great read, even though
Iʻm not a fan of horse racing, and some might not
consider it an "animal novel".
One of the main characters is a promising
race horse.

TPBM knows of an outstanding "horse" novel
or "Dog" novel.

A rather strange and interesting dog novel, Lives of the Monster Dogs. It's not exactly a Lassie story, though.

//>68 Limelite: I never had the acquaintance of a bull, but when I lived on a farm, I had a friendship with a Pineywoods ox named Albert. He's capable of a lot of mischief.
http://ncdogtraining.blogspot.com/search/label/Albert%20the%20Ox //

TPBM has a Lassie story.

I loved watching the Lassie TV series when I was little, and I always called her "Sassie Goggie". I think it's because I apparently had problems with "L"s when I was little. Of course, it's still Sassie Goggie to me, but sadly, only my mother and sister remember what this means.

TPBM has a real Lassie story.

You mean like when Timmy fell down the well? No, but my neighbor has a collie named Gracie. Sorry that's all I got...

TPBM prefers thin crust pizza.

To smart-ass collie dogs? No contest.

TPBM talks to the animals

>70 PhaedraB:

//Delightful photos of Albert, et. al. Dogs are great copyists; watching older dogs at work, pups seem to grasp what's going on beyond the joy of nipping at the heels of sheep. Is that you in the photos? You certainly look like a great animal trainer to me!

I think Ferdy would have benefited from going to your training facility. heh heh//

// >74 Limelite: No the woman in the photos is Claire Apple, an amazing animal trainer. When people in her puppy training class say it's impossible to get their pup to walk on a loose leash, she brings in one of her leash-trained cats or goats.//

//We are old friends. When my husband died, I went to live with her and her partner for awhile while I figured out what to do with the rest my life. The animals were lots of fun, and lots of work. I miss most of them, although sheep I could live without. Except lambs!//



//That's me with one or the other of the twins Coco and Chanel. Right about when this picture was taken, the lamb was peeing on my sweatshirt.//

Well I bet after that you TALKED to that animal!
//>73 abbottthomas: I think we all do, to some extent.//

TPBM thinks the English are soft on dogs.

Um, I don't really know much about the relationship between the English and their dogs, but I would hazard a guess that they are soft, since most dogs are big sweeties.

TPBM will celebrate leap year today.

I am going to listen to Joan Bakewell - aka the Thinking Man's Crumpet - talk about her new book, Stop the Clocks, about getting, and being, old. She will be signing copies but, as I have heard her reading quite a bit of it on the wireless, I may not buy one!

TPBM suffers pangs when they come upon aged crumpet.

//AAK! Leaped!//

(Blows a noise maker, throws glitter) Huzzah!

TPBM is aerodynamic.

Not since 1997.

TPBM wonders how a what you see in a mirror and what you see in a photograph could be so different, other than the obvious reversal of image.

Prolly the same reason I never think I sound like myself when I hear my recorded voice.

TPBM is fair of face.

Not me; I was born on a Monday. (A hell of a way to spend one-seventh of of your life ...)

TPBM knows what I mean.

I like to think I'm fair of mind, which is more important.

TPBM likes all kinds of fairs and will tell us us what kind is favorite. (Book fair, animal, craft, food, midway, Scarborough,etc.)

Book fair, of course! Twice a year our local Friends of the Library has a sale. It's a pretty good one - around 18,000 books. I usually spend too much money.

TPBM buys more books in a year than they read and their To Be Read pile keeps growing.

While my To Be Read pile keeps growing, I don't buy as many books as I read. I use the library a lot and I get some wins from Early Reviewers. These days I only buy books from our Friends of the Library sales and thrift stores. It's exciting because you never know what gem you will find.

TPBM likes the hunt too.

I do, but I now have a very short list of books I'm searching for.
With all that's happened in the past couple of years, MrsHouseLibrary and I have decided to begin the process of downsizing. I bought this house when my oldest was in kindergarten. Now, there's just the two of us and the infernal cockatiel -- which, by the way, has done more to devalue the house than any infestation of squirrels, bees, termites, and/or fire ants could possibly hope to accomplish. Back on topic, we have more junk items and trinkets than Goodwill can handle, and none of our kids are at all interested in our books. (They have their own.) So, we've been weeding out books, and purposely not going to bookstores, except to sell the ones that we've removed. My LT catalog hasn't been updated in a few years now, and I feel I'm being dishonest by having not removed the now-missing from the list.

Here's how bad it's gotten: My actual current read is Among the Gently Mad. It's about book collecting, and when I bought it, I was feverish with collecting FEs of certain authors. And, now that I've finally gotten around to reading the damn thing, I find I can't relate to it. My priority is in exactly the opposite direction, and it pains me to say it. Even if I unload 80% the books I've currently got, I'll still have more reading material than I could possibly get to.

So, yes, while I'm selling off books I own, I'm still looking for the half dozen or so I'm still keen on finding. But, that's it.

TPBM thinks Euclid got it all wrong.

My high school maths grades disqualify me from answering.

TPBM has an iron will.

Maybe. Mostly I think of myself as stubborn.

TPBM irons.

Only dress shirts on the rare occasions that I wear them.

TPBM approves of irony*

*The Uxbridge English Dictionary defines 'irony' as ''rather like an iron'

//>89 abbottthomas: It does!? That is ironic.//

Yes I do. I even found a place that not only approves, but helps decide what is ironic and what isn't. http://www.isitironic.com/

TPBM thinks ____________is over rated.

Most luxury brands. Coach, for example.

TPBM has room.

For 60 more books - I've culled 60 books since going through my books recently.

TPBM has a rule - a book must go for a new one to come in.

HAVE it, yes; FOLLOW it, no! But
sometimes Iʻll pat myself on the
back for giving away say, 6 books
while only taking in 5.

TPBM records any give-aways on her/his
LT "Your Books" List

I record everything: what gets thrown away, given away, sold, donated, you name it, it's recorded. I have go go put deaccession dates on a pile of books I donated today.

TPBM has a different philosophy.

'fraid so - if it's not on my shelves it's not in my LT catalog, with two exceptions:
(1) ER books that I had to review and thus keep the book in my catalog
(2) books that are currently misshelved that I haven't proven are actually out of the house

TPBM loves the Collections feature of LibraryThing.

Yes I do. Especially because these are lists I won't lose or forget where I put them.

TPBM has a nickname.

Yes, Winnie, because of my name and a yellow shirt I loved in school.

TPBM his called something else.

Yeah, I mean, what are the odds that we'd both be called Winnie?

TPBM generally doesn't like to broadcast private information about him/herself.

I don't even like to broadcast public information about myself. I think, in general, most readers like to keep to themselves most of the time. There are exceptions to every rule though.

TPBM is an exception.

Only here. I share more information on LT than anywhere else on the internet intentionally (who knows what those scum-sucking government agencies are trying to steal about all of us).

TPBM has recently tried a new food and discovered that they liked it.

I have started eating pistachio nuts regularly. What do you think the scum-sucking government agencies will make of that? >101 karenmarie: - don't think for a moment that you escape surveillance here. Mwaahaahaa!!

TPBM is only paranoid because they know someone is out to get them

Why, what did you hear? Who have you been talking to? I can trust you, right?

TPBM is looking over their shoulder right now.

No, the only thing behind me is a closet full of old coats, tables, lawn chairs, household paper products, lightbulbs, hockey cards, vases, and the vacuum cleaner. No scum-sucking government agency would ever have the resources to tackle that closet.

TPBM spies on the neighbours.

Oops! I've been lept twice!

My neighbors are great. They've house-sat (cockatiel-sat, really) for us when we've had to go to Waco to help her sister in convalescence from cancer surgery. The only "spying" I might do is if the wife ever wore a bikini -- admittedly sexist on my part, but she's built for one. Regardless, it would be a quick glance, because I know better.

This was my response to #102:

No, I'm quite aware they've already got me. But, they don't actually do anything with that information, except maybe use it as the main ingredient in sleeping pills. My life is so dill, it'll put anyone to sleep.

Due to the nature of my first job working with computers, the FBI had to do a background check on me. This was in the late '70s; no internet (with all its tubes and such.) A few years earlier, my then-wife and I did a long-distance bicycle trip by ourselves, so we were essentially off the grid for a few months. The only info I provided at the time of the job interview was the general dates and terminus points; nothing about the route, nothing about where we stayed. You wouldn't believe the amount of information they were able to compile -- interviews with people we met along the way, bookings from campgrounds and the occasional motel/hostel/park/tourist attraction we spent the night at; all kinds of things. The long and short of this is that the report was about an inch and a half thick.

I don't lose any sleep over what my government collects about me. They scan it electronically, and if a flag gets raised because I happened to use some hot word or phrase, they'll have a quick look-see and that'll (most likely) be the end of it.

I am much more concerned with what "corporate America" gets access to. The government isn't out to steal my money, but businesses -- that's all they're in business for.

TPBM thinks I should have stopped writing after the word "no."

Na, that's OK. I feel somewhat the same way. As long as my checks don't bounce I'm a happy camper. TPBM has never had their credit card number stolen. It's a pain but it didn't cost me any money so that's why I keep using it!!!

Nope, never had. Of course, I don't have credit cards anymore. If someone stole my debit card info, they wouldn't get much more than bus fare, anyway.

TPBM gets much more.

As to bus fares, because I'm so old, I don't pay bus fares, just flash a card. That's getting more than the young, anyway. It carries a photo so, in theory, anyone who stole it wouldn't be able to use it but I have never seen a bus driver look at the picture, just my grey beard.

(It wasn't free but, as a foreigner, I was very impressed by being bussed from Silverlake to Downtown LA for a quarter.)

TPBM has shown that mony a mickle mak's a muckle.

Not only that, but it's changed my life. Why, if I had a dime for every...oh, mickle. Never mind.

TPBM knows where to start.

At the beginning. When you get to the end, stop.

TPBM has better advice.

Damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead.

Hmmm, apparently not.

But, TPBM has better advice.

Well, I don't know if it's true or not but I've heard...if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.

TPBM is reveling in sunshine.

Yes! Spring has sprung in the Nation's Blah, tra la.

TPBM is all atwitter.

Because of your messy fallen cherry-blossoms? Afraid not.

TPBM is at wits end.

Sans eyes, sans teeth, sans every thing, do you mean? Not quite there yet. Still more the lean and slipper'd pantaloon with spectacles on nose - well, not exactly lean, but there you go.

TPBM is celebrating Shakespeare next month

A mile away from my apartment is the home of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, whose season runs from February to November. Since the town's economy very much depends on OSF tourism, we're already celebrating.

https://www.osfashland.org/en.aspx

TPBM has a tourist draw in their town.

I'd like to see all politicians caged and charge a nickle to see 'em. But that's just me, I'm a people person.

TPBM knows how to get rich quick.

Not with that scheme SGiV...who'd pay?
Best BECOME a Pol to get rich.

TPBM has another sure-fire plan.

Get-rich-quick schemes are sundry but funny
To partake, you just part with your money
If you’ve got any sense
Walk away, no offence,
And try not to get fooled again, sonny.

TPBM is bedevilled by ______________

//>118 John_Vaughan: Are you KIDDING ME??!! Who'd PAY MONEY to see this gang BEHIND BARS??!! In a politician ZOO??!! I mean, besides EVERYBODY?!

I think I just had a tizzy.//

Love, such a mystery.

//Oh my gawd. If we could put them in chains in cages it would be ACTUAL PORN!!//

TPBM does it the hard way.

Apparently. I haven't found the easy way yet.

//>120 SomeGuyInVirginia: Before I paid one red cent I'd have to know the politicians weren't getting the money to further their "gag" political careers.//

TPBM is Irish.

No, but my ancestors were Welsh, so still a Gaul.
//>120 SomeGuyInVirginia: Yes. It worked too.//

TPBM still celebrates Paddy's day anyway.

Mmm, corned beef...

TPBM know a spectacular way to cook cabbage.

I'm remembering a new years eve recipe that involves frying sauerkraut and tomatoes. Mmmm. The longer it sat in the pan the more flavorful it got.

I may pull it out to celebrate Paddy's Day.

TPBM has foresworn frying.

Yes, I call it sautéing now.

TPBM specializes in __________ cooking.

Vegetarian. Made quinoa and kale toasted cheese burgers, homemade coleslaw, hand cut French fries and fresh bean soup for my brother over the weekend. He isn't a vegetarian, but appreciates homemade food and is going through some tough times.

TPBM specializes in _________.

Eating out. When I move, all I'm going to have to do to clean my kitchen is dust.

TPBM recently went through a change of routine.

//>123 John_Vaughan: I hope I didn't seem to be jumping on you with cleats, I'm missing that part of my brain that tells me when I kidding my dear friends too brusquely. I didn't mean too.//

Yep, instead of reaching for the warm woolly winter socks, I reached for the thin cotton anklets. Ah, spring is in the air.

TPBM would rather be working outside today.

Groan!!! You had to make me look out the window. Yesterday we propped the backdoor of the office open. Yay spring!

TPBM says "bring it on!"

Oh god, yes. I'm looking forward to spring the way polygamists in Idaho look forward to heaven.

TPBM leads the charge.

Huh? What are you saying? What do you think I'm capable of with a mere three cups of coffee in me? Lead what charge?
It's chilly and rainy here in central Texas (thunder and lightning), and I just want to nap with some Hayden playing on the background.

TPBM also feels the gentle tug of hibernation at his/her sleeve.

I do, I took a sleeping pill last night and woke up this morning with zombieitis. I would have paid work to let me stay home and sleep another 5 hours.

TPBM welcomes the morn in leaps and bounds.

Sure, sometime after 10 am and two cups of coffee.

TPBM has thoughts about morning.

It's generally darkest before the dawn.

TPBM has more thoughts.

More than who?

TPBM spends about 37.8% of her/his
time daily in thought.

I have pjs I call "Thought." At night they're called "Dream." So, I suppose 37.8% of the daylight hours are spent in "Thought."

TPBM prefers moonlight over sunlight.

Since I am a very fair redhead, undoubtedly yes. My natural habitat is a temperate rainforest.

TPBM has a happier relationship with the sun.

My sun is rather distant, and hot tempered, so, no.

TPBM keeps the living room so dark, mushrooms could bloom.

No way! Unless I'm watching a movie, dark rooms depress me.

TPBM leaves a candle burning.

With a curious cat around? Do I look like I want a house fire?!

>139 carod: I'm also a fair-skinned redhead. I tell people that I come in two colors, pale and burnt.

The person below me carries a torch and/or pitchfork.

I haven't carried a pitchfork since they ran ole Frankenstein out of town.

TPBM can recommend a good movie for a rainy weekend.

TV series instead of a movie, but I'd binge-watch The West Wing.

The person below me is dreading spring allergy season.

I am, rather.

//SGiV, say "Hi" to the Prime Minister for me, while he's down in your neck of the woods. Just tell security that Sylvia sent you. They'll understand. //

TPBM has a favourite sign of spring.

Yes! 'No lifeguard on duty.'

//Sylvia, not me (they don't let me out among refined people) but someone in the office has gone across the street to greet PM Zoolander this morning.//

TPBM has their inner demons on a leash.

How many times do I have to tell you? I am NOT a Pet Person!

TPBM can relate (in general, not necessarily to my statement.)

I think your mother was a second cousin I don't know how many times removed to my paternal grandfather, so stretching it, we can probably relate.

TPBM can reach the pope in less than 7 degrees of separation.

No, but I am 3 degrees from Kevin Bacon.

TPBM has a Bacon/bacon story.

Aaak! Leaped! Um, Kevin was running late for breakfast at the diner, but I ordered for him and when he got there I said 'Hey! Saved your bacon!'

Yes. Me/God/Pope. We'd hang out more but I'm tired of him doing that Marilyn Monroe on a subway vent gag. It's not funny your Holiness!

TPBM has crossed paths with the god heroin prays to.

Yes! I know a handful of people who are in pain management and what they sometimes take is frightening to consider. Still, it's better than their being in excruciating pain. I also met a kid who is an actual junkie and could solve the Rubic's cube in seconds. I asked him how he did it and he said 'there's just an algorithm.' If he weren't a junkie he'd probably be a tech whiz making yooge coin.

TPBM is painting eggs.

No, I hard boil a dozen at a time and eat at lest once a day. Painting seems wasteful.

TPBM knows when to use further and farther correctly in sentences.

Further along, I'll explain it. But it will be farther away than you think.

TPBM has insight.

No, trust me.

TPBM set their sights higher.

I don't really like heights. I avoid standing on ladders. A problem since I am rather short. I have shelves in my kitchen on which I only store things I need to access once a year or so. I used to have a ceiling light that I would only be able to change when I invited my tall nephew over and offered to feed him.

TPBM is a sight for sore eyes.

You must be thinking of somebody else.

TPBM has a sty.

My 'study' is sometimes described as a pig-sty: papers, books, stuff everywhere. I bought my wife The Life-changing Magic of Tidying for Christmas (she has her own problems) and am now reading it myself. Marie Kondo's tip for decluttering books is to put them ALL on the floor! You then touch every one to see if it inspires a feeling of joy. I have found three so far that don't. The author doesn't lead me anywhere after that. She has, however given me a new word - komono. Komono means insignificant items, aka stuff.

TPBM can deal with their own komono

Actually, that concept, even if I didn't know the word, helped me a lot when going through my storage locker and my late husband's things. I asked myself a couple of questions:

1) if it's something that's usable, how I am going to use it if it's boxed up in a storage locker?

2) If I keep it for sentimental value, can I get the benefit of the sentiment if it's boxed up in a storage locker? I don't get the buzz from a memento unless I see it or handle it; if I'm not doing that, I might not even remember I have it.

3) The fact that a thing was previously owned by a dead person doesn't endow it with must-keep magic, unless that thing also means something to me. Hence, "I have no idea what this is or why he had it" is a candidate for being let go, while the tweed sports coat he wore constantly is still hanging in my closet because every time I go to give it away, my heart hurts so much I can't let it go.

TPBM has dealt with an estate.

From a legal standpoint, no. That task went to the northerly (Waco) WholeHouse-S-i-L. It took six years to finish that job.

From the practical standpoint, yeah, I was in the thick of it. My wife's parents died about six months apart, but the house they owned sat relatively unattended as my MiL had been moved to a nursing home. (Long story.) But after she died, I went in and photographed every wall of every room and contents of drawers, etc., plus the exterior and the property -- over 500 pictures. I then removed the jewelry, my FiL's 900+ books and 21 bookcases. I had already cataloged them, so it was a matter of weeding out the abused books and sorting the rest. If only one of three sisters wanted a book, she got it. Otherwise, a different-backed quarter went into a plastic coffee can, and whoever was assigned that quarter I (blindly) retrieved from the container, got the book. Later, we did exactly the same procedure for every item in their house. Four truckloads of "stuff" went to Goodwill. Overall, it was a fairly even (value-wise) distribution of the wanted items.

Several months later, it became my task to prepare the house for sale. They had lived there for over forty years, and had never painted it -- inside or out. I tore out the carpet, and painted ceilings, walls and trim -- first with primer, then with the appropriate paint for the surface, having to first cover over the wood paneling. The Waco SiL insisted that I not paint any of the closets. I argued that they should be done, since there was no carpet on the floor at the time, but no, she forbade me to do it. So, once I was done, she had new carpeting installed, and afterward, came to see how it all looked. In short, it took me as long to get the closets painted as it did to do the entire rest of the house. And I ended up with a case of frozen shoulder for my effort.

From the time my FiL took ill to the time the house got sold, I wrote every day in a pocket-sized Moleskine® journal. Filled the thing -- both sides of the page. It took me two years to translate it to a file on my computer -- almost 50 pages. My intention is to make it into a novella-sized memoir, but it's a daunting task, and I'll probably have to wait until both SiLs are dead because they won't like what I recorded about their behavior.

TPBM has a big project that has been put off for too long.

For a long while I have been meaning to set down the story of my great-grand father who was born near the Welsh coast and educated himself up to a level enough to qualify as a master mariner. He sailed round the Horn, found himself a bride in Savannah and perished in the North Atlantic. While no family documents have passed down to me - apart from a copy of his statement to the Chief Justice of the Falkland Islands after he had shot a troublesome crew member - I found excerpts from a diary published in a book of Welsh maritime history and there is a surprising amount of detail about his voyages in Lloyds records and ships' logs. Much of the latter is in the keeping of the University of Nova Scotia but maybe they'll digitise it one day.

TPBM has a forebear whose story is worth telling.

Only of Sir Roger, the first one to arrive in Kent. They chopped his head off for rebellion in Meopham moat so its very short.

TPBM has one as interesting as our dear Abbott's.

//I have just been told that today is my 5th year on LT. Feels like I have been friends with you guys much longer!//

Afraid not. I did hear of one of my sainted ancestors who, in the 18th century, got so hammered that he fell down walking home and drowned in a mud puddle. I thought it was funny as a kid and it still cracks me up. But that's me, I'm a people person.

TPBM has someone famous in their family tree.

A few noteworthy ones. My father's youngest brother. a Jesuit priest, was one of the principal anthropologists in the study of the Tasaday tribe in the Philippines back in the late 70s. The oldest brother did quite well in the wrought iron and statuary business -- a good reputation and lots of his work all over the globe. Yet, he was better known for being a pathological liar. So says many who knew him. Honest in business; just ignore whatever else he tells you. I imagine he would have made a great politician.

I'm told that the Lynch who signed the Declaration of Independence was an ancestor, but the one who told me that was the aforementioned pathological liar. The signer, at best, would have been a far-removed relative because my direct ancestors arrived in the Bowery a hundred years later.

Keep this going. TPBM has someone famous in his/her family tree.

Not so much famous, maybe, but interesting. My late Uncle Bob, as an 18-yr-old machinist's mate, helped tool the graphite blocks for the very first nuclear reactor under the bleachers at the University of Chicago. He later was in the Pacific for atomic and h-bomb testing, and despite having never gone to college, made a career as a nuclear engineer. He spent time at Los Alamos where he said he got some great home movies of Nobel Prize winners roaring drunk at picnics.

His specialty was radiation detection equipment, and he designed some for the first lunar lander. He said before he installed the equipment, he wrote his name on a teeny tiny piece of paper and stuck it inside the lander. So if some future explorer or civilization decides to dismantle that piece of space junk, they just might find the name Robert Louis Schuch.

At the end of his career, Uncle Bob worked at Yucca Mountain in Nevada, which was intended to be a place for multi-millennia storage of nuclear waste. He was featured in an article in Discover Magazine about the project. So, a moment of fame.

TPBM is related to a notable person.

Well, some of my relatives are notable, but I'd rather not say in what way...

TPBM likes old black and white movies.

It wouldn't be Christmas without a Hope and Crosby Road movie.

//>165 PhaedraB: Oh man, that would be a sight to see. I've heard that those guys at the Institute for Advanced Study at Princeton could get pretty wild.//

TPBM is nostalgic.

//>165 PhaedraB: Oh, I almost forgot: Uncle Bob was named after Robert Louis Stevenson. When he was born, my grandparents told my Aunt Caroline that it was her turn to name the baby (there were a lot of kids) and she happened to be reading a book by RLS at the time. So, another RLS.//

Kinda. Sorta. I miss the old DC subway that was clean and safe and actually ran. Sure the underground stations were dark and creepy and looked like something out of a Planet of the Apes movie. But who cared. Then, I mean. We were all so young and nothing was ever really amiss. Oh I get, now, why people sell their soul for eternal youth but back then I thought it was just natural for everybody to be beautiful and smart and about to do something interesting with their life. And because I was a DC resident it cost $1.10 to get to work. Now the trains smell like urine or Graham crackers or human grease every day, gangs of 14 year old kids are beating people up with their Transformer backpacks, and...the whole thing is shut down tomorrow. They say it's for a safety check but I know it's a way to control the wide spread panic that will inevitably occur when our alien overlords attempt too sieze control of the city tomorrow at 2:38pm. I'm guessing. Christ, remember how long it took to get out of town on 9/11? We didn't even think of driving, just walked out through Georgetown and across the Key bridge into Virginia. Well, Rosslyn. Blackhawk helicopters buzzing our heads the whole time and the Pentagon in flames on our left. Don't tell me I've never seen combat. And don't tell me they're unexpectedly shutting the arterial transportation vector of one of the largest cities in the western world because somebody smelled smoke. I call shenanigans.

TPBM dreamed last night about spiders.

No, I never dream about spiders. My anxiety dreams are usually about rats. Or having to write an exam for a course I don't remember taking. Or appearing on stage singing a song I never practiced.

TPBM has worn pajamas in public in their dreams.

//>169 SomeGuyInVirginia: I dreamt about a spider the other day. It had a big web built between the house and stair railing of the house I lived in when I was a kid. What made it really strange was that it had a fish caught in the web and was wrapping it up.//

I can't recall one like that, but I do recall dreaming about being in public in my underwear.

TPBM has worn all or part of their pajamas while actually out in public.

I was ready to vehemently say NEVER, because I get annoyed when I see people in Wal-Mart or out on the street in pajamas. I mean how much effort does it take to put clothes on to go outside. But then I remembered that sometimes when I walk in the morning, (in the dark and I see no one) and it's cold outside, I just slip my sweats on over pjs. So, sigh, I guess I am guilty as charged.

TPBM is also guilty of something society frowns on.

What have you heard!?
Where e'er thou art,
Where e'er thou be,
let thy wind blow free.
In church or chapel,
let it rattle!
//>169 SomeGuyInVirginia: It IS a strange story, with little explanation about either the plans, or the actual event. Perhaps it was not smoke they smelt?//

TPBM has an entirely rational explanation.

I can rationalize anything.

TPBM has an example.

Watching tee-vee shows on the computer doesn't count because it's not tee-vee. Ergo, I can buy a season pass to The Walking Dead and not worry about Brain Shrinkage.

Ta-da!

TPBM is otherwise rational.

//Happy St. Patrick's Day!//

Sometimes. Except when the voices start telling me otherwise...

TPBM is sighing with relief because it' FRIDAY.

Don't make no difference no more!

TPBM still says TGIF

>178 abbottthomas: You're not listening to me. YES, hence my post at >177 morningwalker:. TGIF, TGIF. Today's mantra.

TPBM has a different mantra.

Ahoooooom..why does my movie ticket cost $16.86...ooom...Seriously, were do they even get that weird price...om

TPBM believes in Mantra Claus.

Om Dasher. Om Dancer ... etc; well, when I was a kid. Then I grew up (in the 70s) so it became "Right Om."

TPBM finds joy in the little things in life and will offer an example.

My dad's beatific smile this morning when I entered his hospital room. (Not that he knew me, but he's not in pain today)

TPBM is a handy-dandy fixer.

Madly trying to organize my crazy family by phone and email around my father's health crisis since I am still recovering from 'flu and don't want to expose anyone to my germs. I am not sure how much fixing I am succeeding in doing, but am trying to be the voice of reason.

TPBM is always the voice of reason.

In times of crisis, yes absolutely. If we're not about to crash and burn, not really.

//>182 2wonderY: >183 carod: Sorry you guys are having a tough time. Not being in pain is yooge, 2wY. carod, just tell them what they're going to be doing, don't bother trying to get them on the same page. If they balk, tell them yes they are, because they have to. Families can suck. Anybody want my brother? He's a tech millionaire and still single. For a reason. He's yours, returns not accepted.//

TPBM is a little tea pot.

Short and stout. How did you know?

//>184 SomeGuyInVirginia: Does your brother like older women who are in financial need? Asking for a friend...//

TPBM tips over.

//>184 SomeGuyInVirginia: : I am my father's Executrix (as he likes to say) so after he passes I can bring out the black leather and whips and get everyone to do as I say. In the meantime, I am trying to be more diplomatic. //

Only sometimes.

The person below me falls off the floor.

Wow! The news really gets around fast!

TPBM is low maintenance.

Full disclosure- no.

//>185 PhaedraB: You'd regret it. Then he'd make you regret it.

>186 carod: Whips and leather? Whoo-hoo!//

TPBM writes in the margins.

Very lightly, in pencil.

TPBM leaves not a mark.

I'm invisible like a piece of furniture you see every day but never notice.

TPBM is the centre of attention.

That depends. What am I accused of this time?

TPBM knows.

All I know is that the Shadow knows, and that's all I need to know.

TPBM has a favorite radio program.

Love Ira Glass and This American Life.

TPBM has a favorite Podcast.

I don't listen to any, got some suggestions?

TPBM has their own podcast.

A friend has been bugging me for years to host a show on his Internet radio thing, but I am so bad at small talk I couldn't imagine how I could consistently fill an hour, even with guests. Instant anxiety attack.

TPBM has another suggestion.

I can give you a list of people who have no off button.

TPBM has a relative with that condition.

Several. I try to avoid them when possible.

//>195 SomeGuyInVirginia: I like This American Life, of course, 99% Invisible, Lore, Stuff you Missed in History Class, Snap Judgement, Criminal, etc. There are new ones showing up all the time that I try and sometimes like or discard. It just depends on your interests. There seems to be something for everyone. They're great for listening to on a walk, while cooking, or while knitting.//

TPBM is enjoying a beverage right now.

Does Alka Seltzer count? I am enjoying, iced, in a highball glass. I do find, as Rumpole said of chateaux fleet-street, that it keeps me ...

//>198 morningwalker: but you have forgotten SGiV does not cook ... he may knit though. Pink, fluffy bondage-rompers perhaps?//

TPBM prefers Libations.

>199 John_Vaughan: I think I have a podcast to help SGIV - it's called Cooking Issues...Hahaha. Ewww don't give me the image of SGIV knitting pink fluffy bondage rompers - or who they may be for????//

//>195 SomeGuyInVirginia: I thought of a couple more - Darkness Radio, Someone knows Something, In our Time, and The Moth.//

>199 John_Vaughan: Trying to recall my rudimentary Classical education, but don't libations involve pouring wine on the floor? Malbec is very bad for carpets! I'll swallow with a brief 'Thank you' to the Gods.

TPBM has lares and penates.

// Do you know, John, if it is true that if a seagull swallows an Alka-Seltzer tablet it will explode? Or is that a figment of my disturbed imagination?//

//I think my husband said that while in the Navy in New London CT, USA, they would throw Alka Seltzer tablets into the air, the birds would catch them, and then, yes, explode. Our military in action. :) //

//In the Red sea we would add water to a half full can of Liver Salts, hammer on the lids and feed the sharks.//

No, we have a security alarm system instead.

TPBM (Except WHL) has a watch dog.

Okay, I tried to get her picture to appear here but just couldn't get it to work so this is IZZY and she's watching. http://www.librarything.com/pic/5249927.

TPBM is gifted.

I wish.

//That kitty litter cake still cracks me up. And thanks for the pod cast suggestions, I'll check them out.//

TPBM holds their breath going past a graveyard.

Why?
I've dug three graves; F-i-L; M-i-L; B-i-L. There's nothing superstitious about it.

TPBM holds his/her breath as the bowling ball rolls down the alley.

No, I turn around and walk away, so that if the ball actually hits something, I'll have a pleasant surprise.

TPBM plays darts.

Not recently but I was stupendously bad at darts. More hit the sides than the target. However, I am much better with my .45 Colt. :)

TPBM has an interesting sport that they are good at.

Is solitaire a sport?

TPBM is/was an athlete.

It depends on your point of view. My right hand was sliced open when I was four. I'm right handed, mostly, but can't grip anything with it. Yeah, I can hold a pen, but not too well, and if a ball is smaller than my head, not at all. So baseball, softball, football -- can't play them. I can't hold on to a baseball bat, and swinging a hammer is a dangerous exercise for me.

I could run, though. My record for the mile was five minutes flat (in high school.) I played JV soccer until a kid from an opposing team relocated my kneecap about eight inches higher. His nickname was Leadfoot. I had been a decent soccer player, but that was the end of it for me. About four years later, my hip was broken in a car-motorcycle accident, and I was paralyzed (right leg from the hip, down) for several weeks, and had to learn to walk all over again. The leg is now an inch and a half shorter than the left one.

Despite all of that, in 1977, my then-wife and I rode bicycles from my parent's home in northern NJ to far-western Florida. It's a great way to lose forty pounds. I completed a Century ride not long after we arrived, and played a game of football (not as the QB) that still amazes me.

Upon returning from Florida, I commuted twenty-two miles (r.t) to work for almost two years and was very involved with a bicycling club that sponsored rides every weekend -- until I got hit by another car.

If you want to deem any of the above as being athletic, that's your choice.

TPBM has played a harp.

Trombone - harp comes next.

TPBM whistles - you know how to whistle, don't you?

I know you are to put your lips together and blow, but I can only make a slight whistling sound when blowing in. I can't make any sound blowing out.

TPBM will always have Paris.

Nah! She's too skinny for my taste.

Gotta say though, MrsHouseLibrary is away for the weekend, and when I get home from this writing group meeting I'm at, I'm going to watch Midnight in Paris for what may be the eightieth time. Love that movie.

TPBM has been to Paris.

Bien sûr! Peut-être cinq fois. Vive le Eurostar! Vive la France!

TPBM is OK with tunnels.

Yes, whether they are under rock or under water. And since we now have options other than radio, I don't even have to get annoyed when my music cuts out.

TPBM is not OK with ________.

absentee voting by ordinary voters:
itʻs an accident waiting to happen,
has the potential of making Florida 2000
look like a fair, orderly election.

TPBM has voted absentee, whether or not that
was the only option.

Yes, I did, in 2008. We were living outside NYC and were going to be in Europe in mid-October, and on the off-chance that something awful would happen and we wouldn't get back in time, we decided to do absentee ballots before we left. We traveled through several European countries wearing Obama buttons & got into the most interesting conversations with people. In the airport in Amsterdam, a woman was wearing a blouse with a huge line-art graphic of Obama on it. We asked her where she got it, and she said "Ghana."

Now that I'm in Oregon, all voting is by mail which is pretty much the same procedure as absentee anyway, so it's kinda a moot point.

TPBM has an opinion on that.

I do. I actually like voting in person. I makes me feel like my vote is important. (It usually isn't.) But I have voted absentee when traveling and I know many people who can't get to a polling place easily. And after what just happened here in Arizona (5 hour waiting times at the polls but not for me, thank heavens), I think we'll see more absentee voting. I was concerned when I heard on NPR that online voting is being considered. I think that has some problems too...

The person below me loves tulips. (I am going to Holland in two weeks!!!!!)

I do! And crocuses and daffodils, too. They are a sign that spring is really coming, and their splashes of colour cheer me up after all the brown and white of winter.

I hope @xorscape has a wonderful trip to Holland!

TPBM will describe their dream vacation.

Thanks, SylviaC!

Well, to start it would last three months.

TPBM wants more.

I think Sinead O'Connor summed it up very nicely for me when she sang: I Don't Want What I Haven't Got.

TPBM philosophizes.

Yes, and sometimes my mind just wanders aimlessly. I think it's usually a nice balance.

TPBM is well balanced.

I wish! My right leg is an inch and a half shorter than my left. I wear a lift in the right shoe that makes up half the difference.

TPBM is bilaterally symmetrical.

Yes, but I can't belly dance so, really, what's the point?

TPBM has come across real magic.

Sure have and still *shudder* thinking about it. Black magic. In college in CA in 1973. Best left alone.

TPBM has come across real white magic.

My late husband wrote Real Magic: An Introductory Treatise on the Basic Principles of Yellow Magic which has lots of colors in it.

(Search seems to be dead in the water at the moment, so no touchstone.)

TPBM will speculate upon the meaning of yellow magic.

I don't know, but I do know not to eat that yellow snow!

TPBM has a favorite book that they've read at least 20 times.

Sure! It's The Common Sense no-frills, plain-english guide to Being a Successful Dad: (that every mother should read too) by Ronald L. Klinger

// and the touchstones seem do be dead in the water here as well. I did a copy-and-paste operation of both the title and the name from my LT catalog, and I still get bupkiss.//

It tries to show to dads that their role in child rearing is not limited to just providing financially for the family. It's really inspiring. I got it back in the early 2000s and continue to re-read it every six months or so, despite the fact my youngest will be twenty-seven in two weeks, and moved out when he was nineteen. I've gotten a copy for each of my sons and WholeHouseStep-Son for when they are ready to have children of their own. Now, WHS-S is a daddy twice over, and I gave him his book. He hasn't claimed to have read it.

I like the question, so I'll repeat it, but slacken the requirement.

TPBM has a favorite book that they've read at least 10 times.

No, I tend to limit access to known favorites so that they don't go stale. I did read textbooks in school 10 times or more, but I was kind of a grind. When I wasn't dong my Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas thing.

TPBM remembers the details.

There were details? I'd make a terrible witness.

TPBM doesn't mind the little things.

Ah! Leapt
I love our little things and an off to Spain in May to meet them.

I most certainly do and it still revolts me.

TPBM knows why SGiV must keep his head down when downtown today.

I haven't a clue. Probably because I don't pay attention to details...

TPBM will enlighten us.

I think it has to do with SGiV working in/near the Nation's Blah and the shooter at the Capitol Visitor Center yesterday.

TPBM doesn't pay as much attention to the news as they used to.

I sure don't. I think it should be a requirement that news programs cannot film opinions as news ("I'm the neighbor and I saw that man once" kinda thing) and that there should be a feel-good segment on every show (except when something catastrophic happens). The news media. Bah.

The person below me has tried a new dessert lately.

Quite the opposite! I watch six hours of news on four different channels every day, just to be sure I see the same thing from different perspectives. Over the past year, I've noticed that two of the channels have shifted the bias (ever so slightly) in their punditry to a more center stance. Never thought I'd see the day.

TPBM still gets a newspaper.

No, they're just the echo chamber of the bourgeoisie. Down with them!

TPBM gets the New Yorker's cartoons.

If I don't, I just change the caption to "I'd like to add you to my network on LinkedIn."

TPBM adds another.

I usually just mutter "Nice work if you can get it" to myself.

TPBM is draconian.

Only with myself.

TPBM's favorite nursery rhyme is/was_______.

Was. Itsy Bitsy Spider. I'm not partial to spiders any more. But I remember when little that we had a whole array of finger movements that went along with the rhyme.

TPBM has a fear.

Yes, a month ago I found out I was claustrophobic when they tried to give me an MRI, or as I called it a constricted trap of irrevocable suffocating death.

TPBM is fearless.

Not where MRIs are concerned. The "stand-up" machine is even worse as they strap your head!

TPBM is fearful,

Not yet, but I empathise with >243 SomeGuyInVirginia: and >244 John_Vaughan:. There is a chap buried vertically, head down, at the top of Box Hill in Surrey - always seemed an odd idea to me.

I used to have recurring dreams of being stuck in very tiny houses a la Alice in Wonderland.

TPBM has other recurring dreams

Anxiety dreams, dreams of houses or apartments I return to repeatedly over the years, not being able to find my locker or dorm room (I never even lived in a dorm), dreams with two of my ex-husbands but not with my most beloved late husband, and last night a travel dream where I was stuck in a small town and couldn't find my bus tickets, or the bus stop, which may be related to the airline tickets I booked yesterday.

Anxiety disorders are tiresome. But I'm ok with MRIs.

TPBM is anxious about ____________.

My sister's husband's health. He's only 59 but has a host of problems. This causes much stress for my sister.

TPBM is so lucky to have good health.

Up until a few years ago I was, but I seemed to have stepped into a pile of cosmic doggie poo recently. Hopefully I can shake it off.

TPBM does it in rhyming couplets.

I can if I'm pressed
But as for the rest
Of the time I'm afraid
Little effort is made
And scansion and rhyme
Go out of the window.

TPBM prefers sonnets

and any other form of poetry as long as there is a rhyming structure. Heresy - to me it's not poetry if there is no rhyme in it. Sorry, but there it is.

We're reading Brown Girl Dreaming for RL bookclub's meeting on April and it's a pure slog.

TPBM has much more tolerance for non-rhyming poetry.

Delicate haiku
Is an acceptable form
Of non-rhyming verse.

TPBM will write a limerick.

//Oops, SylviaC, I do love haiku. My bad.//

There was an old man from Nantucket
Who's...sorry I forgot this was a PG atmosphere.

TPBM loves Shel Silverstein poetry.

Okay, I guess I'm the only one who loves Shel Silverstein poetry...sigh.

Is anyone still out there????

TPBM has not been abducted by zombies, aliens or bigfoot.

Alien abductions have been a bit thin on the ground in Surrey of late, and I've not seen a zombie in years. 'Tis quiet, though.

TPBM is stirring

It wasn't me! Ohmahgawd- ZOMBIES!

TPBM is prepared.

Well, I do have a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide. Haven't read it yet, though.

TPBM is, or intends to be, a zombie.

Every morning ... until that second mug of coffee kicks in.

TPBM knows the feeling.

Two hours and two cups of coffee if you want me to feel anything.

TPBM feels _____________.

Sleepy, I can hardly keep my eyes open. Tonight's drive home should be fun.

TPBM just guns it.

Gunned it all the way from the sunroom to the kitchen. Oh. Wait. Car. Nope. I'm rather sedate as I like to have decent gas mileage.

TPBM loved listening to Car Talk.

They still play reruns of it on my local NPR station.

TPBM has another public broadcasting favorite.

I like Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me and This American Life. I don't get to hear them often, though.

TPBM has been on the radio.

I used to have a radio show when I was in college. The music was all different styles, but had a common thread -- something that connected them all together. The challenge for the listeners was to figure out what that link was and then call into the station with their answers. My most difficult one was that every song was written in B-flat, but usually it would be that each song was about growing up, or have a specific word or phrase in it. I'd also do some live-music shows, and once interviewed a streaker. (Hey! It was the mid-seventies!)

TPBM sleeps in the nude.

That's between me and my sheets!

TPBM prefers white sheets.

In the summertime, white sheets. While the weather is colder, light blue microfleece sheets that are oh so toasty.

TPBM used to have a waterbed.

Thought about it but didn't think our 2nd floor bedroom in our 1820 house would handle the load.

TPBM has one in an older home than mine!!

Ugh, I wouldn't have one. All I remember of a waterbed was feeling seasick.

TPBM uses memory foam.

Sometimes I feel like my brain is made from the stuff...

Yeah, about five years ago, we replaced our conventional mattress with a memory-foam mattress.

It's now got a high spot running down the middle and troughs on either side. My back aches is I spend too much time in bed.
Could really use the money we spent for it!

TPBM remembers when bubble memory was the highly touted data storage medium.

//The idea of memory foam makes me think of Mother's bed in Psycho - Ugh!//

The phrase rings a bell, but I guess 'no'?

TPBM is convinced the data stores will, like almost all lie-berry's, someday burn.

Of course. Burn, get hacked, get corrupted, get taken over by The Bad Buys or The Good Guys in a continually escalating need to know everything about us and invade our privacy.

TPBM is not quite so pessimistic.

Who are The Good Guys of whom you speak?
Yes, I am.

TPBM is an incurable optimist. (And that has nothing to do with spectacles.)

As I once told my brother-in-law, despite the fact I am a depressive, I am also an optimist. Why else would I have gotten married four times?

TPBM is optimistic about ___________.

Always being able to imagine something worse.

Quote: "When I wrote my 1997 letter I thought I had little to look forward to in 1998, but it turns out that I was stupidly optimistic."

TPBM knows this quote.

I'm completely in the dark, but I am curious.

TPBM woke up tired.

I did, and the building's water had been turned off for repairs. So nertz to me. I took a shower at work.

TPBM is signed, sealed, delivered.

//>275 bnielsen: More poems!//

Well, my degree is finally all but! I'll be getting my degree in May, but back-dated to February since I'm not taking classes this term.

The person below me has their own good news to share.

Sure. The Bellman is happy:

He had bought a large map representing the sea,
Without the least vestige of land:
And the crew were much pleased when they found it to be
A map they could all understand.

TPBM see this as the picture of any manager, they've ever met.

Excellent if a bit 'snarky' ;-)

//I see your #275 quote is an epigraph to the last Morse story but I know nothing of its source.//

TPBM is a snapper-up of unconsidered trifles

No, and sometimes I feel as if I've been hit on the head with a mallet. At least, I'm guessing that stunned, foggy thing I have going on is what being hit on the head with a mallet would feel like. Except for the pain. And concussion. Yeah, you know it's probably nothing like what being hit with a mallet feels like, except when I do feel that way that's the only thing I can come up with. Because I'm stunned and foggy.

TPBM has made a waiter cry.

No, but I made my yard man cry. He threatened to never come back but he did.

The person below me has often cried.

Yes. But I never made a waiter or yard man cry. I tend to empathize with the underdog.

TPBM understands.

Yes! I cry every time the restaurant doesn't have Heineken on tap. It's a tragedy of epic proportions! Dead, dead and never called me mother kind of stuff!

//>283 xorscape: I always knew you were a heart breaker, Rox.//

TPBM usually reads in another century.

Yep. I got far more reading done in the twentieth century than in the present one. The thing they don't tell you when you're a kid is how much adulting eats into your free time.

TPBM actually has free time.

//285>SGIV: It was more a case of the best defense is a good offense. He cut down a tree and when I was surprised (not mad, just surprised), he said the neighbor didn't like it. I said that he works for me and can't do what the neighbor says without asking. He cried. Said I didn't appreciate him. So I had to tell him what a good job he does, etc. But also, don't do what the neighbor says. He cried more. Sigh. But all is well this month. Who knows what drama next month will bring?

Well, yes, now, finally, since I retired in January of this year. O frabjous day, callooh callay!

Of course it's taken up with putzing, doodling, relaxing, reading, procrastinating, playing cell phone games, and napping.

TPBM looks forward to retirement.

You betcha! So sick of this desk chair! Four years and a little to go...

TPBM is ready for launch.

Yes, but I can't decide what to have.

Oh.

I thought you said 'lunch.'

TPBM is taking off.

Yes! T-3 mins and oh yeah I am counting.

TPBM has lift off.

No, my face always looks this way.

(A former member of my writing group was the voice of the Apollo countdowns.)

TPBM has been ripped off.

Your whole post had me associating ripped off with face - OWEE!

But yes,my precious laptop was stolen. Family photo archives and 6 years of research fun gone. And then the indignity of Windows 10 on the replacement machine. I finally foiled the last irritant. I found a tiny pawn shop that still had a couple of Windows 7 laptops. Ah! Some relief!

TPBM likes Windows 8 - 10.

I have, in the last month, spent 25 or more hours with Dell Tech Concierge getting rid of the odious Windows 10. It turns out that my Dell laptop is NOT compatible with Windows 10, and Dell told me I should have looked on their website to see the list of Dell products NOT compatible with Windows 10. The only things to do are restore Windows Live Mail and re-re-re-install my printer drivers. So no, I HATE Windows 10 and will avoid it until my next laptop - sometime in the murky future.

I had to spend $249 to buy a year's warranty with Dell Tech Concierge, and take great joy in logging another hour against that $249 as repayment for the "You should have looked on our website to see if your computer was compatible" remark. We're down to around $10/hour now, with another several hours on Monday, I think.

Windows 8.1, on the other hand, is tolerable. I use the Start Menu but do go to the Desktop periodically. Took me a while, but now it's okay. Not wonderful, but okay.

TPBM is considering a new computer.

Not in my budget, but will have to do the "upgrade" soon enough.

Before I do, though, I have to replace the fan and the keyboard, plus get serious about getting some (HP) firmware installed correctly. The "connection manager" software update failed to install properly some years ago, and I've sent them reports and such, but they've done nothing to correct the situation.

TPBM is an early adopter of new technology.

Of course. Started using a PC in 1989. I was all of 3 years old and couldn't read yet, but I knew my DOS commands. Oh, not what you meant? :) I love new tech, but I usually can't afford the hardware. I do tend to be an early adopter of operating systems and such, though. I got Windows 10 last November, and I love it. So much better than 7.

I'll take your last sentence as the 'TPBM indicator' just so I can disagree with you ;-( I am getting used to it but it has taken months with lots of things not working properly, Live Mail among others. I suppose that avoiding the repeated new versions of Windows will make it all worth while???

TPBM avoids Microsoft

//Sorry! It was supposed to say "TPBM likes new technology better," but I was interrupted by my cat, who does not like technology because it distracts me from paying attention to him.//

I do. The last Windows computer I owned ran XP. My late husband was a Mac fiend so he convinced me to replace it with a Mac. I was irritated with it for awhile but now I can't imagine going back. Switching over reminded me of learning to drive a stick after driving automatics for 30 years. It's not that it's hard, it's that you have to unlearn 30 years of doing it differently.

TPBM did the opposite.

Yep. Started driving a stick and now drive automatic and started on Mac and now have Microsoft PC. Neither by choice, it's just the way it happened.

TPBM learns something new every day.

I like it when I do. Sometimes it is just something about myself.

The person below me has a great gift idea for someone turning 102. (My cousin, Ida. Still spry and active.)

My mom is 93. I send her flowers or go visit her (a big deal because I'm on the other side of the country). The last thing she wants at this point is more things to dust.

How about a Netflix subscription?

TPBM has a better idea.

A savings bond. Consider it as incentive to be around for another twenty-five years.

TPBM has an even better idea.

Consumables. Chocolate, a favorite food, a meal out at a favorite restaurant. My husband's step-grandmother loved chocolate truffles, so that's what we always got her. They were always a hit.

TPBM, although not 102, does not want one more thing to display and dust.

I don't have room. I don't do well with clutter, so anything I'd buy would go right to storage, which is nuts. Not that it's stopping me, I just bought this print even though I don't have wall space for it anywhere. It will stay in the tube I get it in for another year at least. Still, kind of cool, no? It was 70 bucks. That's, like, on sale! It would have been wrong not to buy it. ...oh god I need a hoarder's intervention...



TPBM stands firm, stiffens the sinews and summons up the blood in the face of stuff.

I wish. I've had to make up a card that says, "Do not buy this. It doesn't help you meet your life goals." Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

Yes, great movie, great poster!

Thanks for all the ideas. I usually give her chocolate and was planning to do the same, but thought I'd see if anyone else had a better idea. Her daughter says she likes McDonalds certificates. I found some old letters from our grandfather to our grandmother dated 1896 when he was working in the mines in Colorado and she was still back in Wisconsin with the first of the babies. I copied as many as I could and sent those too. I'll take chocolates when I go visit in May. You guys are great. Thanks!

The person below me hates packing for a trip and then flying in airplanes with little seats.

I'm short so the seats are not as bad as they could be. But I hate, hate, hate packing. I'm leaving Thursday for Chicago. Chicago in April could be pleasant or a foot of snow. There's only so much room in the suitcase, and I have only so many things that can be layered. Do I bring a heavy coat? Do I bring a light coat but a sweater for under it? Do I have a suitable sweater? And what danged shoes am I going to wear to that wedding?

TPBM has a large shoe budget.

Not really. I'm a 9-1/2 EEEE; not all that big. I've been wearing a specific brand and style of walking shoes for years now; buy a new pair every 18 months or so.
It breaks down to an expense of around $30/year.
The store I usually gt them from has stopped carrying them, so I'm going to have to resort to finding them online now. It seems that most of things I purchase infrequently, I now have to find on the internet machine (with all its tubes), and has to be delivered to my house. Seems like a real waste of time and gas to me.

TPBM budgets everything.

Only in retrospect - where I'm headed is more of an adventure.

TPBM is constantly surprised

Yes, and in most cases I don't like it. I like predictability and sameness most of the time.

TPBM is constantly surprised and thrives on it.

Yes, and no. My life in DC is why I have to take Nexium for a sour stomach.

TPBM went to a museum over the weekend.

We went to an escape room adventure titled "The Museum Heist". Is that close enough?

TPBM has a favourite museum.

I think I need to visit more before I can pick a favorite. I find The Warhol interesting just because it's close to me and dedicated to one artist.

TPBM has a favorite artist.

After my youngest son's work I guess it would probably be Bruegel, The Elder. Although I love Leonardo. Oh, also Rodin. And Sutherland. No, I guessed wrong and should just answer ... no.

TPBM caught the reference to the summer of dormice in >309 abbottthomas:

Dude, I didn't catch it after you pointed out there was something there.

TPBM is getting the old act together.

It's only Monday but I've already started packing for my trip on Thursday. I've not just gotten my act together, I'm shocking audiences.

TPBM shocks _____________.

I've always considered myself a well-grounded individual, so nobody, probably.

But, to not waste a perfectly good challenge ...

TPBM shocks _____________.

Probably no one. I'm pretty routinely boring.

TPBM is in a rut or maybe an abyss.

We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.

TPBM will get out as soon as they can summon up the energy.

Well, I would have gone out ten minutes ago, but the cat saw what was coming and hid. She does not like the vet, that cat.

The person below me is an expert cat wrangler.

This might be a good place to summon something:

https://www.google.dk/maps/place/721+Shatzer+Rd,+Albright,+WV+26519,+USA/@39.568...

TPBM would want that place.

No, I'm playing hooky today so I've been up and about, seeking whom I may devour.

TPBM likes ballroom dancing.

Leap frogged! But yes I'm good at cars. And have the scars to prove it. Please continue from >321 bnielsen:

Huh?

>321 bnielsen: Think how busy that place'll be once the invitees arrive.

TPBM has it all planned.

# I'm not risking another leap, so I rest my case :-)

I'm soooo confused...

>321 bnielsen: Did you realize that place is for sale? !!!

http://www.homefacts.com/for-sale/721-Shatzer-Road-Bruceton-Mills-West-Virginia-...

Let's all buy it

>326 morningwalker: Me too. (And I still don't know where my cat is hiding.)

Aak! I leapt before I looked.

//My phone's not picking up the image, I'll have to wait till later.//

>324 2wonderY: Kinda Sorta. I'm pretty big on structure.

TPBM never spills anything.

I can't say that is true. I have to attach external keyboards to my laptop because, during a long-term illness that ended about a year ago, I spilled a 20-oz glass of water into it (The computer, not the illness.) There's a slew of keys right down the middle that I can't use anymore. Two months later, I repeated the blunder with one of the external keyboards; only one of the two Enter keys stopped working.

If I spill coffee on the carpet, I cut out that area and wring it out into the mug. Can't waste the stuff, you know.

TPBM has spilled the beans on someone. (You don't need to name names.)

No. On my lawyer's advice, I refused to testify unless they offered me immunity, which they wouldn't, the stinkers.

//>327 2wonderY: Not without a decent kitchen and master bath.//

TPBM is immune to ____________.

......blandishments.

TPBM loves orchids.

Yes, although I don't have the 10,000 that Nero Wolfe does. Daughter bought one for me several years ago and no matter how I try to kill it, it keeps blooming!

TPBM has a green thumb.

Maybe. It's too calloused over from playing he guitar to discern an optical tonal quality.

TPBM has a thumb that's two feet long from years of hitchhiking on the highways.
In lieu of that, TPBM knows that reference.
In lieu of that, TPBM can say anything s/he damn well pleases as long as it's not about religion or politics.

Hello, I'm running for office and with God's help and your vote we can win!

A malicious cabal is keeping TPBM from assuming the vast estates he or she is heir to.

There are certain members of my family who believe that we are descended from Cornelius Bogardus/Anneke Jans and are thus the rightful owners of the land where Trinity Church in NYC now sits. It's complete bunk, but I guess people like to believe that but for a ridiculous judicial ruling, we could be rich.

TPBM has a "colorful" ancestor story (true or otherwise).

Renee Piatt, born ~1650 in France, fled to Holland some time prior to 1678 and then America, when his marriage to Elizabeth Sheffield is recorded in New Jersey. This is true. He is my 7th-great grandfather on my father's father's mother's mother's side.

TPBM has another "colorful" ancestor story (true or otherwise.)

Well, this is a story that appeared in the local newspaper a few years ago about my nephew (who still hasn't quite grown up). (the names have been removed to protect the guilty AND the innocent.)

"A teenager was charged for allegedly stealing a state police cruiser as the trooper offered assistance to the teen's friends.
Trooper ****** was patrolling Interstate 79 when he pulled over in****** Township, near *******, around 10:45 p.m. Friday to offer help to two men in a stopped vehicle, police said.

The men told Trooper ***that they were looking for (my nephew)***** *****, 19, of ******. While they were talking,(my nephew) ********appeared, jumped into the trooper's patrol car and sped south on I-79, according to police.

Other troopers searched for the car and found it parked along the highway a short distance away, and ****** was arrested after a chase on foot, Trooper ********said. He was arraigned before District Judge ****** on charges of theft of a motor vehicle, resisting arrest and drunken driving."

I guess the trooper got quite the razzing about letting a drunk kid steal his car while looking for the kid.

TPBM has yet another "colorful" ancestor story (true or otherwise.)

//And this from a lady that said "pretty routinely boring." in >318 morningwalker://

//>339 John_Vaughan: I said I'm pretty routinely boring. Now my family's motto is "It's not really a family reunion until the police show up." (I'm sort of the white sheep in a flock of black sheep - pretty vanilla)

>328 AnnaClaire: did you find your kitty?

>335 SomeGuyInVirginia: Hee hee. I think you got WHL good with that one//

>338 morningwalker: Only that my mother is part of the Mayflower Society so I guess that makes me part of it. . . didn't apply though!

TPBM can decide if this is boring or not. . .it is to me!!

Genealogy can be boring or fascinating; it's all relative.

TPBM can trace.

<tangent>
>340 morningwalker: She eventually emerged on her own. Still gotta figure out how to get her to the vet tomorrow, though. Possibly using a confined space, and second breakfast as bait,
</tangent>

Sadly, no. It seems all my fine-motor control is wired to my gross muscles. Even stick figures are monstrosities. It's a wonder I can play the guitar at all.

TPBM competes in ___________.

Musical chairs on the sub'emway. Argh! I gave my seat up to an elderly lady with a cane and before she could sit down I practically had to clothesline someone else from taking it. Pretty shameless behavior.

TPBM goes with the flow.

Well, you've got to, really, don't you think?

TPBM goes full steam ahead.

Yes, once I'm enthusiastic about something I go full-tilt boogie. Right now it's the Outlander series of books and TV series and working on the rec room soon to become my media room.

TPBM has a new project.

Seems to be my brother. His wife of 28 years left him and I have been talking to him, taking him food and helping get his finances on track (he didn't know anything about them, just gave his check each week to his wife). Will probably spend time this weekend getting his bills set up online and showing him how to pay them.

TPBM has a more fun project.

Sure. Trying to come to grips with my dad's finances, which are healthy, but very convoluted.
Reward will be a sisters dinner party celebrating youngest sister's 50th birthday. (There are 6 of us)

TPBM will tell us a wonderful mom story.

Well, when she turned ninety, she decided she wanted to celebrate it six months later with a ten-day family reunion in Ireland. All we had to do is show up, and pay airfare and a few of our meals. Nineteen of us went.

And that's kind of it. When I was a kid, she was known by everyone n my neighborhood as the Five Fingers of Death; didn't take any backtalk from any kids, and they' d end up going home with welts where her bony finger strafed the poor kid's face. Before he got there, she would have already called the kid's parents and told them why. More often than not, the kid came home to a belt waiting for him. These were certainly different times.

TPBM (to keep things balanced) will tell a wonderful dad story (of which I have dozens, but you should tell your own.)

My mom and dad's marriage was the strongest I've ever seen anywhere. Toward the end of her life Mom was all but confined to a wheelchair, and dad all but blind. When mom died, dad said he didn't know what he was going to do because he was her feet and she was his eyes. It's poignant, but not really sad when I think about it. They took on everything together, they loved each other and were happy together.

TPBM has a family story.

So many I don't know what to relate. I'm at my sister's house because her daughter is getting married tomorrow. We've been telling lots of stories.

How about this one: when my grandfather was courting my grandmother, she moved from Chicago back to her father's farm near Wausau, WI. Grandpa continued the courtship by traveling the 300 miles back and forth via motorcycle. Circa 1915-1916.

TPBM has another story.

My parents met when my father was in his forties, and was losing his eyesight. My mother, who was blind since birth, was his rehabilitation teacher. The first time she went out to the farm, and they were sitting at the table, he dropped something on the floor so that he would have an excuse to bend down and get close enough to see her legs. He used to write her love letters in his Braille homework.

TPBM will also tell a family story.

Thanksgiving at my parent's house in New Jersey involved seventy family members. We'd borrow cafeteria tables and fold-up chairs from the parochial school we (were forced to) attend(ed). We had a large dining room table that would seat twelve plus a round table that would accommodate another six (I think). One cafeteria table spanned the dining room to the living room and three more ran the length of the rest of the house. Upstairs, we'd take beds apart to make room for more tables in three bedrooms.

My grandmother would arrive early in the morning with a couple of baskets of plates and utensils, several apple pies, and three freshly killed, still warm thirty-pound turkeys, ready for stuffing and being placed in the oven. The neighbors on both sides of the house would always go away for Thanksgiving, so they'd give my parents a key to the house so my folks could user their ovens.

Leaving was the hard part. It could be thirty degrees outside, and invariable, when it was time to head home, you'd say goodbye and open the front door, and be stuck talking to relatives for the next hour, easy. My oldest sister (still four years younger than me) worked out a solution that we all use today. At the first chance you can say anything, you say, "Okay, bye!" and walk out the door, ignoring everyone else. Seriously, I've been living in Texas for twenty seven years now, and I think if my sister hadn't come up with that answer to the problem, I'd still be standing at the front door of my parent's house.

Keep it going.
TPBM will also tell a family story.

My brother Doug and I loved to fish from the time we could hold cane poles with a worm on a hook on the end. We were either at Lake Elsinore or Cachuma, I think, Doug and I no more than 2 and 4 respectively, and there was a fish tugging on both our poles! We pulled up our cane poles each thinking it was MY fish. The lines, all of 6' or 7' each, were hopelessly tangled in that mass that only fishing line can attain, with the fish dangling from a loop between the poles. It was a baby blue gill.

TPBM will tell a fishing story.

I went đeep sea fishing as a kid and hooked something so big it made the boat tilt. Whatever it was wasn't coming up so the captain cut the line. Probably a turtle, but to me it will always be a sea monster or Jaws.

TPBM had a shaggy dog story.

Yes. It's part of the first of a series of four stories titled I Am Not a Pet Person. Perhaps you've heard about them.

TPBM has.

Yes, I read the whole series but I'm not convinced you are not a pet person.

TPBM also read them and will comment.

More of a bald dog I thought.

TPBM agree that WHL is a secret pet lover.

He was profiled in Secret Pet Lover magazine. Has 'Spot' tattooed on his left shoulder.

TPBM saw that article.

I sure did! I am amazed at all the pets mentioned - cockatiels, dogs, cats, geckos, parrots, de-scented skunks, goats, etc. Bravo WHL!

TPBM can't imagine life without LT.

Nope.

//>357 WholeHouseLibrary: will burst into tears over a cute kitten gif. Offered to walk my dog, and when I said I didn't have a dog offered to give me one of his. Serial 'liker' at DailySquee.com. Wears bunny slippers. Has a picture of Morris the Cat stuck in his mirror, tells it 'you complete me'. President of his local Mickey Mouse Fan Club, insists all other members be actual mice.//

TPBM knows of what I speak.

//You can all take a flying leap!//
//(tic)//

Well, I only read the books. I don't know anything about what he does in his private.

//>363 WholeHouseLibrary: You know we're only kidding...right???//

TPBM has an upcoming book sale in their neck of the woods.

Yes! The Annual Leesburg Friends of the Lie-berry sale in June. I'm going, but will limit myself to less than 21 books. I'm busy thinning out my shelves. That sale is one of the last big sales in this area.

//>364 morningwalker: Whole can't answer, he's busy teaching holistic consciousness raising to the shut-ins at the animal shelter. Namaste!//

Soon TPBM will be invincible.

I'm working on it. I just need to improve my Xhosa, learn to play the sackbut and perform one more animal sacrifice on Midsummer sunrise and there'll be no stopping me. 'Faster than a speeding bullet?' Pshaw! Beginner's stuff!

TPBM has taken the Path of Enlightenment.

Is that the one next to the primrose path?

"There's the road to heaven, and there's the road to hell, and there? That's the road to Faerie."
~ Thomas, the Rhymer

TPBM knows a good road to ______.

Perdition.

TPBM wants directions.

Holy crap! I've been preempted three times over! I think that's a record!

// #364 - My dear friend morningwalker, and all the rest of you whom I hold in high regards -- except maybe SGiV (I'm still on the fence about you):
Yes, absolutely I was kidding. That's what the tic was supposed to indicate -- tongue in cheek. I love you guys.//

// #365 - The shut-ins are volunteers! You can't teach a rock. There's no hope for them.//

//And now, back to the TPBM thing, which is already in progress.//

I sure would love to be able to say yes to that, but every day seems to be a step in the wrong direction.

I don't need directions; I've got two screws in my right hip. Float me in a pool of water, and I'll end up facing west. I'll find it on my own in due time.

TPBM geocaches.

Nope, but I used to fossil cache.

//>369 WholeHouseLibrary:. Moi? Euzinho? Little ole me? Why, what ever do you mean, Dances With Rover?//

TPBM was caught up in the Panama Canal bank scandal.

No, I don't geocache,although it sounds fun.

//>369 WholeHouseLibrary: oh thank goodness you know it's all in jest. I was quite willing to throw SGIV under the bus and blame it all on him for starting it. You are probably right to have doubts about him!!. I wasn't aware of what tic meant. I thought maybe all our harassing had caused some kind of nervous tics in you. It's so hard to tell sometimes how someone takes things when you aren't face to face. I I would never mean to make someone feel bad. There's too much anger and hatred out there and I would never intentionally make someone feel bad, especially on LT. Do you really have a spot tattoo?.//

TPBM also relies on their LT friends and hasn't a clue about the Panama bank scandal.

Yes and yes. Mental sanity from LT friends and unfortunate ignorance. I don't watch TV news and am listening to NPR less.

TPBM is having fun planning their garden.

Somewhat. I'd be happier if the tomato seeds that I'm starting on my windowsill had had more than a 30% germination rate. Fortunately, the one variety that is doing well is my favourite yellow pear-shaped cherry tomato. (Can you still call them cherry tomatoes if they are yellow and pear-shaped?)

TPBM eats their vegetables.

Yes! Love, love, love my veggies.

TPBM likes to dig in the dirt.

Guilty, as long as it has nothing to do with stooped, agrarian labor. I hunted fossils and bottles in my yute. Dearly loved both. I've got a great uncle who's a treasure hunter, or salvage specialist if you're in the biz (the same way it's not gambling, it's gaming when you're in Nevada.)

TPBM has tilled the ruby fields of Xanadu.

How about the sapphire mines of Montana? I still have the 1.5 carat sapphire, now emerald-cut, that I found there.

TPBM has traveled extensively in a country where they don't speak the native language(s).

Yes, many.
Africa, Russia, Indonesia, South & Central America, Canada and the USA ... But I had English, French, Spanish and a tiny bit of German so I got by.

TPBM has never learned English.

Yes, but don't tell any of my clients. I edit books.

TPBM has an opinion regarding the use of interrobangs. (‽)

Gee, you think‽

The person below me has an opinion on cherry blossoms. (It is, after all, that time of year in this hemisphere.)

When it's windy outside my apt., it looks like there are big fluffy snowflakes cruising past my window. Being from fiercer climates than where I live now, I find the cherry blossom petal storm disturbing.

TPBM is disturbed by ____________.

Stepping outside for a morning walk (in semi-dark) and having someone dressed in full camo-military garb walking slightly ahead of you down the rural road.

TPBM fears________.

The zombie apocalypse, natch.

TPBM knows that when hell is full the dead will walk the earth to feed on the living.

Sure, but that just leads to realizing that it's been an on-going thing for almost forty years now. We're doomed.

TPBM will change the subject.

To spiders, re: >381 morningwalker:, one of the things that fill me with intense disgust and unease. I saw a clip online of a guy who opens his mouth and a big spider crawls out. I had to go lie down. Or the clip where this guy is trying to catch a HOOGE spider on his ceiling using what looks like a plastic cake cover...and it jumps right on him...I don't...I mean it just...I can't...

//Great now he's dead. I hope you're happy- eds.//

TPBM fears something else.

//>384 SomeGuyInVirginia: I couldn't even read your post!//

Not having enough time to read the 1,606 books I've currently got tagged TBR (To Be Read) in addition to all the books I'll still be re-reading and buying for the next 30 years.

TPBM has a more manageable TBR list.

Unfortunately, no. I look at my entire lie-berry as a TBR, and am thinning the shelves by weighing each book against 'Is it reasonable to assume that I will realistically read this book in the allotted three score and 10, or is this a desert island purchase (where I'd read it if I had all the time in the world for a very long time.) Jeez, I still have an early reviewer's book to read!

//>385 PhaedraB: Whatever you do, DO NOT google 'gif spiders mouth'. You're welcome.//

TPBM does not read every day.

//Larry - even thinking about googling 'gif spiders mouth' gives me the heebie-jeebies.//

I have to read every day. Otherwise I may kill someone ( or at least hurt them badly).

//>384 SomeGuyInVirginia: for some reason spiders don't bother me. Once on vacation in a cabin in the woods I lazed about on the deck most of the day and watched a spider spin its web. It was amazing. I never kill one in my house. If they are a bit bigger than the norm I gently escort them outside. Now robots, like on the Terminator, those scare me!!//

TPBM is mourning Prince.

Jamie Starr Christopher Alexander Nevermind The Purple One Joey Coco ? The Artist Formerly Known as Prince? No.

TPBM mourns the passing of classical music.

I can turn on the radio and get classical music every day. Prince, however, I will miss.

TPBM mourns something/someone else.

I was thinking last night how sad I'll be when Bill Murray kicks the bucket. It'll probably be worse for me than when Bob Hope died.

//>388 karenmarie: I know. **shudder**; >389 morningwalker: I can deal with spiders but I really don't like it. Once, cleaning out my grandparent's large shed/retreat for my grandfather, I just brushed a black widow aside when I saw it was crawling on a box of old Star Wars action figures that belonged to my cousins. In fact, the damn place was crawling with Black Widows, or maybe by that time I was hallucinating. Of course, when I got outside I did a full-body hand-jive dance for about 5 minutes and wondered what the hell I was thinking.//

TPBM is made of sterner stuff.

Apparently. Of course, I was married to ThiMs, and survived, so ... yeah.

TPBM has a story of survival.

Yes. Every weekday I somehow survive and get through the workday and make it to the weekend.

//>392 SomeGuyInVirginia: ticks are way more disturbing and disgusting than spiders. Ewww I hate them. Blood sucking parasites, they remind me of politicians.//

TPBM has eaten ramps.

I tend to use them these days instead of the stairs but I have never considered eating one.

TPBM has ramped up their eating.

Yes, Saturday I went to my secret place where wild ramps grow, gathered some, cleaned them, sent some home with my brother and then cooked some in scrambled eggs for breakfast on Sunday. Yummy.

TPBM has a selfie stick.

Yes. It's called my arm. I admit that I have taken several in the last several months, mostly to send to my sister, who does the same, sending me selfies of her.

TPBM has a computer, a cell phone, and a tablet to meet their all their technology needs.

I do, and it seems like they're all merging into one thing.

TPBM has a home theater.

No, I make due with the cell phone, tablet, netbook, and desktop computer. Three of these can stream to my T.V. if I wish. Although I rarely find anything worth streaming. I find whenever I consider finding something to watch, I decide the book I am reading is more tempting.

TPBM would rather read than stream.

Either read, or knit and listen to a podcast. I do the same thing >399 carod:. I scroll through Netflix and after wasting precious reading time decide even if it's not a great book, it's better than what is available to watch.

TPBM has used an Uber driver.

I haven't, in part because they expect a bigger tip than a cab driver. Cab and roses used to be really cheap in DC went I first moved here. You could pick up a dozen roses from a street vendor and jump in a cab to Georgetown and love. Now, not so much.

TPBM, however, has used an Uber driver.

No: when I need to arrange a ride, usually there's a car service of the more traditional variety, or a friend/relative with a car.

The person below me is an Uber driver.