Ceci n'est pas un dildo

Salonistas!

I know many of you have expressed curiosity and interest in my antique Japanese tortoiseshell dildo collection.

Recently, our very own Captain Mac has revealed to us his ownership of a vast dildo trading empire in the South Seas and East Indies.

I know that our very own Leader (Long may his praises resound!) has a small collection purloined from The Naughty Hottie when he was over at her place last time.

Who knows what other Salonistas may not have a dildo collection or two lurking in the dark corners of their residences.

I invite you, in the spirit of Enlightenment enquiry and high intellectual endeavour, of course, to share your dildos here.

here is one of my most prized pieces:

I do so wish our former banished friend you mentioned were available for comment. She's out of the country presently, tomcat, but on her behalf, I say, "thank you," for the photo.

Did you know that William S. Burroughs, in one of his novels (I forget which) inserted a dildo with the name "Steely Dan" into his narrative? And guess where that famous rock-jazzish band from the '70s, Steely Dan, got their name from? S'Truth. From that very same reference in that very same William S. Burroughs novel. Perhaps someone knows the exact reference, and could cite it for us.

Not posting any pictures yet - because I have been remiss in cataloguing all my non-book possessions into LT. Shouldn't the sex-toy category be a bit broader? I also think we could use tags to differentiate, for example, electric from acoustic... or whatever you call the non electric models...

Acoustic FOR SURE.

Shouldn't the sex-toy category be a bit broader?

Affirmative.

In case anyone thought post 3 was out to lunch regarding Naked Lunch and Steely Dan, here's incontrovertible proof to the contrary!: http://www.granatino.com/sdresource/burrough.htm

But where did Steeleye Span get their name?

One of my crewmembers, an older French (évidemment ) guy, used to take an electric, vibrating dildo with him on excursions into the primeval forests of Madagascar. He attracted a lot of native girls with his French charm (évidemment), drinks and generous tips. He would invite them into his hotelroom ( sleazy local huts évidemment ) and there he would uncover his "arme secrète" in the middle of the table.
This ivory obélisque would draw an admirative "oooooh" from the ebony beauties. And then, with a lot of French magical hand mouvements and expressions he would switch the thing on. The girls who had never seen something as magic as this would scream joyously in surprise, jump excited trough the room with fierce amazonic rebel yells and tear the pulsating dildo out of each others hand in a frenzy unseen in human memory.

(from "Les memoires de Macumbeira" )

Gawd, if old Korzeniowski was that exciting somebody might turn some of his pages with relish. What a scene with the dusky beauties and all? As Hank Kingsley would say: wow, wow, wow, wow.

: )

I make it a point not to be current with these cute signs. What do it mean : ) ?

Dear Porius !

the "smiley" is an "emoticon"which represents the smile which your cunning remark drew on my otherwise stoical expression.

Jeez, I shoulda figured that out on my own. I just didn't see the sideways face. I such a stoopid. Have you read Conrad's CHANCE? Hard on we land lubbers, or landtuna as the MD's in Ann Arbor would say. Happy trails, I mean sails to you Mac.

specially for you Por, I know you'll apreciate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QedfHL7ltzw&feature=related

haven't read chance, but I managed 4 or 5 conrad's
Loved " Heart of Darkness " - bad - bad Belgians.

Actually we have fond memories of that period !

Yes. I have reason to believe we'll all be received in Graceland.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2wUq-aTjpA

Oh Tomcat..you remind me of my actual TomCat!

Dildos? Never owned one but "tried" one, once...OUCH!...i'll take the real thing any day...given my situtation (my boyfriend dumped me in 2006..after a year of our "bliss'"...for a serioulsly OLD BAT..their Bliss lasted 10 months courtship/marriage)..she divorced him..Naturally.. i took him back..without *SEX*..we are still friends..but I don't trust him for shit

am i crazy? or do i have to write a Story to qualify? Dildos ...still don't qualify for the Real Thing

:-}

Ok, (at the risk of sounding like I'm participating in some kind of free association excercise at a Dale Carnegie course), my only literary association with dildos are the references by Nathaniel Philbrick. Apparently the 19th century sea captain's wives had some quaint name for them. I don't recall; silent husband or such.

Wasn't Philbrick the name of some guy in a 1950's teevee show named Mr. D.A. or something like that?

Evidemment.

> 18 Good book that Sandy !

speaking of beautiful, here is France Gall (évidemment )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtC24BNw-ak

I am Nowhere Near old enough for this conversation. Évidemment.