Wait for Me!: Memoirs

Deborah Cavendish, better known as the Dowager Duchess of Devonshire and the last remaining Mitford sister, has lived a life so eventful that it almost seems mythical. From her oft-discussed childhood with her five sisters to tea with Hitler and helping to revive the ailing fortunes of the famed Cavendish estate, there is much in Debo’s life that has yet to be covered by the numerous biographies, memoirs of her sisters and collections of letters that have packed the shelves. Unfortunately, “Wait For Me!” manages to achieve the impossible by being insufferably dull. Cavendish’s writing lacks the wit and skill that her sisters Nancy and Jessica seemed to pull off with ease, with random vignettes of plodding prose in place of a show more sturdier narrative. While there are moments of genuine wit, Cavendish’s storytelling priorities seem questionable. More time and attention is given to recounting her days of fox hunting and debutante balls than to tea with Hitler and attending John F. Kennedy’s inauguration (an event which shockingly made her miss the beginning of hunting season). An unashamedly conservative figure, the reader’s mileage may vary when it comes to Cavendish’s outrage over having to sell a few Rembrandts to pay inheritance tax, as well as her uncomfortable defence of her Nazi sympathising sisters Diana and Unity’s politics. The book earns some points with Debo’s stoic but heart-breaking account of becoming the last remaining Mitford, but “Wait For Me!” is oddly lacking in insight and one for hard core Mitford devotees only. show less

Born in 1920, Deborah Mitford has lived across a span of years which has seen enormous changes in virtually every aspect of life. She captures this in “Wait for Me!”, beginning with her idyllic childhood filled with the joys of country life and ending with the surprisingly busy years of a still active Dowager Duchess in her nineties.

The youngest of the famous Mitford sisters, with their wit, intelligence and beauty, Debo had her turn at the pre-war social scene of coming out, being a debutante and all those required convolutions of the upper crust of English society. But her marriage to Andrew Cavendish led her in a direction which was quite different from her sisters’ lives of extreme politics, failed marriages, lives lived away show more from England. When Andrew unexpectedly became the Duke of Devonshire, Deborah and he threw themselves into the restoration and preservation of the ancient Cavendish home, Chatsworth. Debo became, somewhat unexpectedly, a farmer on a grand scale.

The book does not shy away from the more well-known aspects of her life, such as her sister Nancy’s books using the personalities (embellished) of their parents or her sister Diana’s infamous affair with the fascist Mosley (and subsequent marriage and imprisonment during the war), but it is Deborah’s passion for the land and what Chatsworth represents which gives the book its special worth for me.

She is also excellent at conveying the period before the Second World War, ithe effect of the war on life in England, and its devastating loss of life, including the loss of her own brother, Tom. In essence, the war also took the life of her sister Unity , who had formed a tremendous schwarm for Hitler and attempted suicide by shooting herself in the head when England declared war on Germany. Unity lived but much diminished and brain damaged. Their remarkable mother, Lady Redesdale, cared for Unity to the end of her days some eight years later.

Although we occasionally didn’t share the same perspective on things (the beautiful shire horses being killed for dogfood when they were no longer needed, for one), she is a product of her culture and privileged upbringing, and yet she isn't trapped by those facts in her outlook. I liked the “voice” of this book very much indeed. In fact, I couldn’t put it down but read steadily until it was finished because I liked its author so very much. There is something rock solid about Deborah Mitford/Cavendish, something true and honest, as though someone with as profound a regard for every aspect of agriculture, horticulture, animals and the land she lives on couldn’t be any other way. But there is also a dry and quite delicious sense of humour, tremendous energy and no little courage. Rich, famous and privileged, yes, but also disarmingly humble. I came away from her book feeling that if I ever had the good fortune to meet her, I would enjoy the experience very much indeed. show less

I don't read many memoirs, but this one was a real charmer--as is Deborah, Dowager Duchess of Devonshire. (Don't miss her interview on Charlie Rose's Show!) "Debo," the youngest of the famous (or infamous, depending on your point of view) Mitford sisters, is now 90 years old--and what a life she has lived! Her reflections are surprisingly personal, sometimes a bit sad but often endearing.

Debo opens a window onto aristocratic life, which sometimes wasn't as easy as we might expect. Despite the Mitfords' status, for example, they struggled to make ends meet through the 1930s and the war years, as did other Britons. Of course, their reduced circumstances were outshone by the whirl of their social set. Tea with Hitler, dancing with the show more young JFK, trying to pacify grumpy houseguest Evelyn Waugh, chats with Churchill and "Uncle Harold" Macmillan, attending Queen Elizabeth's coronation and Charles and Diana's wedding--the shining names that drop in and out of Wait for Me! are as numerous as drops of rain, and Debo has fascinating stories about each one of them. And, of course, we get the inside scoop on growing up and growing older with Nancy, Jessica, Unity, Diana, and Pamela, each of whom was extraordinary in her own way.

Unlike her sisters, Debo came to writing late in life, most of her books focused on life at Chatsworth and written to help fund the preservation of the great house. The sections detailing the initial restoration of the house show Debo's ingenuity at its best. She scours the lesser homes of the Cavendish family for furniture, china, and accessories, conducts meticulous research into colors and fabrics, and has a great time in the midst of it all. Many attribute Chatsworth's survival not only to her personal restoration work but to her savviness in agreeing to open the house to the public but to launch ventures such as a gift shop, plant shop, tea room, and even, for a time, a meat market featuring beef and lamb raised on the grounds.

The Duchess is astonishingly candid about her 64 years of marriage to Andrew Cavendish, who became duke after his brother, the husband of Kathleen Kennedy, died in the war. While they fell in love at first sight, the marriage was not without its trials: several miscarriages, a child who died shortly after birth, and Andrew's struggle with alcoholism.

As a literary scholar of sixteenth and seventeenth century England, one of the things I most enjoyed was hearing the names of families, places, houses that were so familiar to me. It's hard for me not to hear the name Cavendish without thinking about Ben Jonson's patron, William Cavendish, Duke of Newcastle and his eccentric authoress wife Margaret; or to hear mention of Hardwick Hall without thinking of the famously connected and oft-married Bess; or to hear about the house at Rutland gate without thinking of Sidney's daughter, the Countess of Rutland . . . and on and on and on it goes. I even recognized the familiar pair of legs behind Debo in the cover photo as those of Henry VIII. All of these people and places are obviously just parts of ordinary life for Her Grace--yet so intriguing and significant to me. I was absolutely delighted with Wait for Me!

I don't want to give more specific details and spoil the adventure for other readers. Suffice it to say that the duchess has had a remarkable life and, thankfully, she has either a remarkable memory or a remarkable set of diaries (or perhaps both) from which to draw. Don't miss this one! show less

You wouldn't think the memoirs of a fusty aristocrat could be so gripping. But the Dowager Duchess of Devonshire - formerly Deborah, youngest of the notorious Mitford Sisters - has led a life marked by extremes of rarefied privilege and crushing tragedy. A great read.

This is a wonderful new addition to the Mitford canon by Deborah, The Dowager Duchess of Devonshire, known as "Debo". Her sisters Nancy, Diana and Jessica (Decca) long ago wrote their own books, but being the youngest and only living sibling Debo brings a different perspective to WAIT FOR ME!. Nancy and the other older children hated having to move from Asthall Manor, where they had freedom and privacy because their rooms were in a converted barn, but Debo, then six, loved their new home at Swinbrook. She and Decca spent hours there formulating a secret language in the Hons Cupboard, a linen closet that served as their private meeting place, and Debo began her lifelong love of hens, which she raised so she could sell eggs to Muv, her show more mother.

In other books Muv has been portrayed as vague and cold, but in Debo's depiction she is hardworking, full of understanding and always fair. Two days before Debo's wedding one of London's heaviest air raids blew out the windows of the ballroom where her reception was to be held. Shards of shattered glass covered everything and the curtains were ruined, shredded to bits. Muv shaped gold and grey wallpaper into pretend draperies to cover the glassless windows and convinced a wine merchant to part with some of his precious but diminishing supply of champagne from occupied, or soon to be occupied, France. Thanks to Muv, and the requisite but frosting-less cake (war sugar rationing), the party was able to proceed.

Debo's writes candidly and entertainingly about her courtship and marriage to Andrew Devonshire, who became a duke because his older brother was killed in WWII. The war exacted a heavy toll on the Mitfords who lost many friends and family, including Tom, their beloved and only brother, and though Debo doesn't dwell on tragedy those sections of the book are eye-opening and deeply moving. She writes in the same open and level headed way about her miscarriages, Andrew's alcoholism and Nancy's recently revealed denunciation of Diana while she was imprisoned for her connections to Hitler.

When Andrew's father died Debo and Andrew inherited Chatsworth, a huge 126-room mansion which has since been the setting for two Keira Knightly movies, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE and THE DUCHESS. Chatsworth is beautiful now but was in terrible shape when they were suddenly put in charge. The miracle renovation Debo, and her husband oversaw is even more remarkable because Andrew's father died a few weeks too early to exempt them from an 80% death duty tax that in 1950 amounted to £7 million.

Debo admired Muv's ability to select diverse styles of furnishing that worked beautifully together, and she used that eclecticism as a model while decorating Chatsworth. Eclecticism also seems to be Debo's guide when choosing friends, a group that has included local farmers, Evelyn Waugh and Prince Charles, and Debo has funny or interesting stories about all of them.

Though Debo has never been as political as her one-time communist sister Decca or her fascist leaning sisters Diana and Unity she has had close connections to some of the world's most politically powerful people. Debo's brother-in-law married Kathleen (Kick) Kennedy so she attended both John F. Kennedy's inauguration and funeral as a family member. Former Prime Minister Harold Macmillan is Uncle Harold to Debo and she is also related to Winston Churchill. In 1960 her husband Andrew was made Parliamentary Under Secretary of State for Commonwealth Relations and she traveled to Africa, Asia and the Caribbean as he represented Britain during a time that coincided with the independence of eleven British colonies.

Books by and about the Mitfords are full of the demand "Do admit" and WAIT FOR ME! finally reveals its source. The cover of HORSE AND HOUND carried the endorsement, "I freely admit the best of my fun I owe it to Horse & Hound" which, when shortened to "Do admit", was used by the five younger sisters, Debo says, to get the attention of witty and sophisticated Nancy. show less

I've heard snippets about the six Mitford sisters over the years but not enough to create a cohesive picture, probably because the scandalous sisters were so diverse. In 2010, when she was ninety years old, the youngest, Deborah, Duchess of Devonshire wrote her biography that includes details about her family and involves much of the history of the last century. Practically everyone of note from the era makes an appearance from movie stars to world statesmen, art and literary luminaries, royalty, the Kennedy family, even Hitler. Her husband's elder brother who would have inherited the title, was married to Kick Kennedy, the sister of childhood friend Jack Kennedy. The Devonshires attended President Kennedy's inauguration and funeral, show more described in two appendices. She was amazed at how Americans handled the inauguration so informally compared to the minute planning of Queen Elizabeth's coronation.

Her life was interesting, with many achievements. The deaths of Andrew's elder brother in the war and his father not long afterwards, incurred enormous death duties that were not fully paid until 1974. They transformed Chatsworth into a profitable business, now one of the biggest tourist attraction in Britain and employing 600 locals.

I suspect Debo wrote this frank detailed biography to provide the last word on her life and family, thus curbing inaccuracies in other renderings. It's a complex story arranged by topic rather than chronology, giving it depth although it appears to jump around. It is not simply name-dropping on her part but a history of the world she knew and naturally, the people involved. This is Downton Abbey on a grand scale, combined with an international Who's Who of the 20th century.

Among her other books are Chatsworth: the house and The Garden at Chatsworth both of which I've also enjoyed browsing as companion reading. show less

I love reading about the Mitford sisters, with their eccentric childhood, family nicknames and larger than life personalities, but the only trouble with Deborah 'Debo' Devonshire's memoirs are that I think I've read it all before! Jessica Mitford's autobiography 'Hons and Rebels' covers much the same territory (until she elopes with her first husband and moves to America), and the Dowager Duchess' books about Chatsworth settled my curiosity about what it must be like to live in such a grand house. Still, 'Wait For Me' does not disappoint, and the Mitford writing style is just as entertaining as ever, although the later chapters, filled with anecdotes about visitors to Chatsworth and the Devonshires' celebrity friends, are not as funny show more as Debo's youthful escapades and memories of her family. Perhaps being the youngest Mitford sister, as the subtitle states, means that Deborah Mitford lived her life in the shadow of her older and more controversial sisters, but at times her own memoirs tend to become more of a potted family history, talking about everyone but the author! The Dowager Duchess has few bad opinions of her many and varied acquaintances over the years, and describes nearly everyone as attractive, talented and good fun, but she is also honest about personal subjects such as her late husband's alcoholism, which I didn't expect (coming from a class and generation which didn't wash their dirty linen in public, and rightly so). The final chapters, with the loss of four of her dear sisters and her husband, are naturally very sad, but Deborah comes across as a survivor who enjoys life and her family and friends. I shall have to get around to reading Nancy Mitford's novels, and the Duke of Devonshire's memoirs, 'Accidents of Fortune', also sound fascinating. show less