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Description
A collection of inspirations for the uninspired, this work offers an antidote to the meaningful muses of the New Age. Designed for the natural born cynic, it contains thoughts on children, literature and losing your keys.Tags
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stevenjacks The sequel to Deep Thoughts, this collection of humorous meditations contains "inspirational" lunacy from the Saturday Night Live regular.
Member Reviews
I had never heard of Jack Handey or his deep thoughts before picking up this book. His humour can be an acquired taste but he did have me smiling regularly at his thoughts.
I always laughed aloud when this segment came on Saturday Night Live, and this book brought back a lot of those memories! My favorite then, and still now, is the Disneyland one! I'm snickering right now as I type this! Thanks for the laughs Jack!
".. because, hey, free dummy." Lol!!!
".. because, hey, free dummy." Lol!!!
This is a collection of the "deep thoughts" segment of "Saturday Night Live", and they are a real hoot. A typical one is "I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away." I don't know a lot of people who would like these, but I love 'em.
well, well, whale . . . trip to Dismal Land is the ultimate Dad joke
Hands down one of the stupidest books I've ever read
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NPR Readers Poll: 100 Favorite Funny Books
100 works; 5 members
Author Information
12+ Works 1,493 Members
Series
Common Knowledge
- Original title
- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
- Alternate titles
- SNL’s Deep Thoughts; Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey - A collection of funny anecdotes from the classic Saturday Night Live original; Jack Handey’s Deep Thoughts
- Original publication date
- 1992
- People/Characters
- Comedians; Politicians; Celebrities; Regular People; Imaginary People; Jack Handey (show all 7); Saturday Night Live Cast
- Dedication
- To Marta
- First words
- It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
- Quotations
- If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?!
He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said "Dust to dust," some pe... (show all)ople laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven—with a gun."
If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would no... (show all)t prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.
Marta says the interesting thing about fly fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta. Grow up.
Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again.
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off to go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening, when he came back with some whore he'd picked up in town.
If you're ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear, don't stop and start thinking of what other words have "under" in them, because that's probably the first sign of jungle madness.
I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over, is like the top thing you can do.
It's not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the kid could put it on and really scare you. - Last words
- (Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man.
- Blurbers
- Michaels, Lorne; Hartman, Phil; Handey, Jack; Martin, Steve
- Original language
- English US
Classifications
Statistics
- Members
- 439
- Popularity
- 69,985
- Reviews
- 5
- Rating
- (3.89)
- Languages
- English
- Media
- Paper
- ISBNs
- 2
- ASINs
- 3
