How to Save a Life

I'll be honest: I didn't immediately love this book. I liked Jill well enough, but I wasn't sure how to feel about Mandy. She's... different. But, the more I read, the more I came to care for both of these characters.

I found Jill easy to relate to. I think I would have been just as moody and skeptical if my mother decided to adopt a baby just before I went off to college and directly after my father passed away. Truthfully, I think I would have been moody and skeptical regardless of the circumstances.

Mandy wasn't quite so easy to understand at first, but, in retrospect, I think this made the novel better and built a stronger bond between the character and reader. Little by little, Zarr reveals pieces of Mandy's past and, as the reader show more begins to fit these experiences together, her actions and thoughts start to make sense.

I liked how incredibly different Jill and Mandy are. Both have survived horrible things in their lives... and they've both dealt with their experiences in entirely different ways. On the outside, Jill appears tough and independent, but, on the inside, she's falling apart. Mandy may appear naive and soft, but she's much stronger and determined than one would guess.

I loved getting to know both of these characters. There are wonderful friendships in this novel, a hopeful romance, and a fantastic mother figure, but it was these two young women and their strength that have inspired me to recommend this novel. show less

Jill MacSweeney, 17, lost her dad ten months previously in a car accident, and seems permanently stuck in the anger stage of coping. She pushes everyone away who is close to her and every good thing “before it can hurt.” She resents her 52-year-old mother Robin’s scheme to adopt a baby even though she knows Robin is just trying to deal with her own pain. Robin, in spite of the unexpected and horrific nature of the loss of her husband, still wants to believe that good things can happen as well as bad. She finds mother-to-be Mandy on an internet bulletin board, and arranges for her to come to Denver for the final month of her pregnancy. As she said in her introductory letter on the adoption bulletin board, “I will never marry show more again, but I’m not ready to call it quits on love.”

Mandy, 18, was unwanted by her mother and abused by her stepfather, and doesn’t trust anyone, not even Robin who is so good to her. And then there is the matter of Jill, who clearly resents Mandy and doesn’t trust Mandy just as much as Mandy doesn’t trust the two of them.

Dylan, Jill’s on again/off again boyfriend, tries to hang in with Jill but she has done everything she could to sabotage their relationship. When Jill runs into the persistent and patient Ravi Desai, however, she finds out maybe there is such a thing as second chances, if only she can have the faith to trust the world again.

Discussion: Zarr is so good at chronicling the pain and insecurity of damaged teens. She portrays so well the phenomenon of pushing people away out of fear of rejection or abandonment that instead of not liking her angry girls, you feel nothing but compassion for them, even when their fear leads them to behave less than admirably.

The two main male characters in this book, Dylan and Ravi, are each great guys but flawed too in realistic ways – a wonderful change from so many YA books that feature either angels or devils.

Evaluation: If you’ve not yet read Sara Zarr, you really are missing out on a wonderful YA author, who understands teen angst and hope and love and resiliency. Mothers with daughters will especially appreciate this book, because it is as much a depiction of mothering as a book about growing up. show less

Jill MacSweeney is struggling to figure out who she is in the wake of her father's death, a process that doesn't get easier when her mother decides to pursue an open adoption of a baby. Mandy Kalinowski isn't sure what she wants other than to ensure that her baby has a better life than the one Mandy's had so far.

Sara Zarr's realistic YA fiction is always compulsively readable and this novel is no exception. Exploring issues of grief, family, and belonging, Zarr creates two distinct voices that tell equally compelling stories that intertwine slowly as Jill and Mandy begin to form a bond.

What I thought of when I saw the title: The Fray's How to Save A Life.

Reactive Attachment Disorder is an incredibly sad thing because it's the hallmark of neglect, parental and otherwise, sometimes leading to 'excessive familiarity with relative strangers' to fulfil the all-consuming need for love, attention and affection they've never received. Witnessing Mandy forming unhealthy attachments to people she's just met is excruciating. Once you hear her story, you just want to pull her away from her old life and insecurities, give her a hug, take her home and take care of her and her unborn baby.

I felt for each and every one of the characters. They may not be the most likeable in the world but they're real, complicated and going through show more terrible times. I understood why each acted as they did: why Jill rejected the notion of her mother adopting a baby so soon after her dad died, why Robin (Jill's mother) wanted to do this and why she didn't go through legal channels to do so, and why Mandy lied so she could find a loving home for her baby to grow up in, thereby preventing her from suffering the same childhood she did and growing up to be like her or her mother.

I sympathised with Jill. Struggling with her identity, redefining herself after her dad's death and figuring out what she wants and who she wants to be is difficult enough, but then having to accept this new person into your life who'll provide you with a baby sister, puts on even more pressure to come to terms with her grief, with her future and the need to move on, embrace life and take risks again.

It's a deeply moving and depressing read, so much so that I was desperate for the predictable happily ever after. Thankfully, I got it. I would've been pretty mad if I hadn't. A new family and a new beginning is formed from the wreckage of four lives, bringing me to tears with the emotive subject matters of abuse, grief and fear for the future and the truly deep and realistic observations in the writing, together with fact that four lives, not one or two, are saved, make this a rare and favourite read. show less

This book is just plain gorgeous. Zarr describes things in this exact, perfect way—not the easy clichés we writers can rely on too often. She lets both of her protagonists make mistakes, do and say ugly hurtful stupid things, and she trusts the reader to understand, and we do. Both girls—Mandy, who’s pregnant, and Jill, whose father has just died and whose mother is adopting Mandy’s baby—are broken and growing into new, adult selves. Both of them want families and, more than that, the sort of safe childhood haven that a parent’s love can provide. I wanted to hug both of them. It all feels piercingly truthful, with lovely characterization, but it was also a total page-turner as I wondered what Mandy would ultimately decide show more to do with her baby. show less

Sara Zarr is fast becoming one of my most favorite authors.

Where [a:E. Lockhart|173491|E. Lockhart|http://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1267209040p2/173491.jpg](I hate comparing authors by the way) is also writing realistic contemporary young adult fiction but doing it in a humorous light-hearted way, Zarr approaches darker topics and writes in a very emotionally compelling way. I love both Zarr and Lockhart and despite that they are both writing in the same "genre" it is hard to imagine they are actually writing in the same genre. If that makes any sense .... but both authors bring such a realistic flavor and almost tangible reality to their books that it does seem they are contempories of each other.

How To Save a Life centers around three show more women -- a high school daughter (Jill), a widowed mother, and a pregnant high school drop out (Mandy) hoping to give her baby up for adoption to the widowed mother. Jill's father recently passed away suddenly and his loss has left a huge hole in her life and her mother's life. Jill is hurting, has alienated her friends and boyfriend and is maybe interested in a different boy. In contrast, Mandy has been mistreated and neglected by her mother and others all of her life. Mandy has a dark secret and is running from her mother. Each woman is struggling and suffering, but the girl in this story that truly needs saving is Mandy.

The story begins with Jill judging Mandy and hating her. She sees what she wants to see, she judges Mandy for being less educated and seemingly simple. Mandy is desperate to fit in, to be wanted but is convinced she is unwanted. She is struggling with her love for her unborn baby and her belief that she will be a useless mother.

How to Save a Life had me crying at points. It had me unable to turn off the audio book (the narration is great). It had me pondering the effect that parents have on their children even with the smallest interactions. It had me thankful for my bed, my couch, the food in my refrigerator and my mother. We see Mandy's amazement at a leather couch, a soft clean bed, and a refrigerator full of food. And it had me wondering -- how I can help kids who are abused and neglected in the way that Mandy was.

But don't worry, I think if you don't want to be emotionally affected this is still just a good story to listen to or read. If you want the deeper message, it is there. Zarr is great at exploring issues of sexuality and teens. I cannot wait to read her other books. show less

HOW TO SAVE A LIFE seems, at the beginning, to be a fairly straight forward book: Jill has lost her father and her mother has decided to adopt a baby, and Mandy is pregnant and choosing to give her baby up – to Jill’s mother. But it is so much more than that. Jill and Mandy are both going through a very difficult time in their lives, and their paths cross just when they both need it – even if they don’t realize it.

There are a number of difficult topics touched on in this book, and they are handled with care, concern and sensitivity. Sara Zarr doesn’t disregard or skate over their importance but she doesn’t sensationalize them either. What really drew me in to this book is how well characterized Jill, Mandy and the other show more characters are. Jill is so lost without her father around that she’s been isolating herself from everyone. It takes an unexpected meeting with a former classmate, and Mandy’s intrusion on her life, to bring her back to a semblance of her former self – but changed and grown through tough times. And Mandy. Oh Mandy. I just wanted to wrap her up in cotton wool and keep her safe from everything that would damage her. Mandy has not had an easy life, though she doesn’t seem to acknowledge it. It is only as the book unfolds that Mandy’s point of view chapters give us hints and glimpses into how she grew up, and the growing concern that something more is being unsaid about her pregnancy. And can I just say, I loved that Jill had a mom who is present and involved in her life.

HOW TO SAVE A LIFE is a complex, gripping contemporary novel about two girls finding their way in life again, and realizing that family is what you make of it. show less