This is US

It's unusual that a 45 year old single man decides to adopt three foster children (or adopt in general) The book opens with someone calling the police on him, anonymously, when he takes his kids to a diner. The fact that he has Mexican kids - and he appears Caucasian (he's half Puerto-Rican but is a red-head) evidently seemed suspicious to someone in their vicinity. That's heavy. But it's far from the last time he sees these children discriminated against.

The story focuses on David Marin's 'adoction' saga (little Adriana, his daughter, invents this word) Clearing Mr. Marin for adoption was a slow, ugly process in a bureaucracy that moved like a severely clogged drain. Due to the children's irresponsible, drug sick and abusive parents show more these kids had to be removed from their dangerous environment, no question. But the paper work, the incompetency, the sheer lack of focus by Children's Services was a disgrace. Unfortunately, one gets the sense that, much like the rest of the government, it is probably beyond salvaging, particularly when few seem to care. Best just to deal with it. I would highly recommend this book to anyone considering (or already involved) in the foster-care system, and anyone interested in adopting a child out of it. This country loves to say the phrase: 'Children are the future', but we do amazingly little to put our money where our mouth is. Or to clarify that when we say children- we mean ALL children, regardless of race, religion, or social class. Good luck enacting that truth in today's America.

I liked Mr. Marin's sense of humor (he refers to his kids as 'his three little Snicker's bars') and he really is a champion for their well being. If I had any complaints it would be that he comes across as arrogant at times- and he is very, very concerned with people knowing what financial bracket he is in. I'm afraid this could possibly put off a more blue-collar person from attempting adoption. There were times when I thought: 'Hey- we GET IT' -you make a good living. But that doesn't make you a good person. The way you fight for those kids does.' (Perhaps it was his east coast prep school education?) He also throws me off with one of his 'rules'- he must always wear a collared shirt in front of the children 'for civilizing purposes.' He then goes on to point out his hatred for the politicians who legislate against immigrants and the poor- and every one he mentions wears a collared shirt and/or suit and tie. In fact, it's a stranger- a Harley-Davidson Biker type who is touchingly sweet to his son. I doubt he wore a collar. All I'm saying is that in teaching children not to judge by appearances such a skin color, it's important to note that a man's character isn't always reflected in his clothing)

That being said, my small complaints are cancelled out by the way that Mr. Marin CLEARLY explains the way the adoption system works, the way the Foster Care system doesn't work and how the Immigration laws are detrimental to the freedoms in our country, and to us as an embracing people. I actually adjusted my opinion on several key points- and I'm not easy to sway. Based on that alone, I would recommend this book to friends, regardless of their interest in adopting children. Mr. Marin was a virtual life-preserver to each of these kids, and I can think of few higher or more important endeavors. Through those children, he has literally made the world a better place. That's a pretty awesome thing to be able to say! show less

David Marin always wanted a family. Finding himself unmarried, he decided to adopt on his own from the California foster care system. As a result Marin became a father of three, and by all accounts they created a happy and functional family.

I was expecting that this book would be mostly about the children's adjustment to their new family, and Marin's adjustment to parenting. These were not the most significant issues. Comparatively, they were hardly issues at all. What were significant issues were the challenges of managing the bureaucracy of the foster-care system, and dealing with the absurd reactions of strangers.

The incompetence and resistance of the foster-care system is shocking. To give one piquant example: a social worker who show more was supposed to be doing a home visit spent her time trying to get Marin to sell her his daughter's bedroom furniture rather than checking on the children. The absolute disorganization and incompetence of the foster-care system is completely disheartening. The competent and caring social workers are entirely overburdened and lost in a sea of bureaucracy, and those who aren't competent and caring are a disaster. I hope this book helps bring some changes to the foster care mess. The good news is that the Marins did manage, despite odds against them, to create a happy family. show less

This is Us is a must read for anyone who is a foster parent or an adoptive parent here in the USA.

In this book David Marin tells the story of his adoption journey as a single father. He adopted three siblings, children of color. (Marin is Hispanic and Caucasian, but he looks Caucasian.) It wasn’t easy. On the way, he faced opposition from some social workers, his boss, and the community. The prejudices he faced were varied. Some people didn’t think a single man with a full time job should be allowed to adopt. Some didn’t approve of his children, since their birthparents were Mexican. Some simply didn’t like mixed race families.

The book is also controversial because he openly discusses the problems he had with some of his show more adoption workers. Mistakes were made which threatened to derail his adoption plans. The children suffered increasing abuse for years before they were taken from their birth home, even though social workers were called in many times. It’s heartbreaking to read their stories, and heartbreaking to think about the abuse other children must be facing. He realizes some of the social workers really do care, and he praises those people to the heavens. But he doesn’t pull punches when he talks about those who made mistakes, those who allowed his children to continue being abused. He is a protective father, and he speaks from his heart.

There is a lot of love in this book. The reader can feel the love of Marin for his children, and his children obviously adore him. It’s inspiring to read about the children learning to trust again – their healing process and their attachment to their new dad is a joy. I also loved the humor of a rookie dad learning child care through trial and error, all on his own. Highly recommended. show less

As an adoptive mother of a sibling group of five and a special needs adoption advocate, I couldn’t wait to read David Marin’s “This is US: The New All-American Family”. I am drawn to stories about older adopted children, and this book is a winner both as an adoptive parent’s memoir and as a peek into the frustrating world of foster care and social services adoptions. Marin, a single man, sets out in 2003 to become to a father, and what follows is a heart-wrenchingly beautiful story about tenacity, unconditional love, and three little Mexican children who, against the odds, finally find their own “forever family”.

Marin weaves two themes into his poignant story-telling: his fierce love for his new children and his navigation show more of the bureaucracy that holds the key to their future. The first is inspiring, while the second made my stomach churn in desperation. This writer, however, faces obstacles with such a huge measure of humor and levity that it made his arduous journey a delightful one to follow. Marin makes his often-bumbling first go at parenting a winsome, page-turning tale. He is also living proof that a less-than-perfect childhood often makes one resilient and open enough to handle special needs children. Though Marin is now a successful business man, his honesty about his own father’s death and his troubled youth lend enough humanity to him that he becomes more than a shallow do-gooder.

One of the great strengths of Marin’s work is his focus on the big picture. He generously sprinkles his book with statistics and information that go beyond his own experiences and delve into the travesty of tens of thousands of children waiting for permanent homes in the United States. He provides a wealth of information on the lingo, practices, classes and procedures in dealing with social services. And while he is clearly dedicated to the three kids he adopted, one can sense his burden for all the others who still wait for homes. Were there more people like him, we could virtually empty the current list of kids waiting for a mom and/or dad.

If I had one complaint about “This is US”, it would be Marin’s subtle arrogance which I chalk up to his being an attorney. For example, he tells about his legal battle with a firm that dismissed him after learning he was planning on adopting and admits, “For sport, I contacted a muckraking writer…” to publicly discredit his enemies. Later, when he is caught lying on a resume, he unabashedly defends his behavior to the reader. And lastly, when he discovers his foster care license has expired before the adoptions are final and he is facing re-licensing, he boldly claims, “I had no intention of taking any classes or spending two days breathing into the rubber mouth of a blown up doll” to ensure his children wouldn’t be removed from his home. These statements were a grave disappointment to me.

Personal ethics aside, however, Marin is a hero. He is a hero to the three children whose lives he changed. And he is a hero for shedding light on the vast need in this country for a system that makes waiting children a priority. I highly recommend “This is US” to anyone who has felt the heart-tug to pursue special needs adoption or for anyone who needs a dose of encouragement to move courageously in his own world. show less

I’ve dealt with the bureaucracy Marin is writing about, so I was eager to see if he had similar experiences as my family. He did. This book provided a very real, often heart-breaking look at the struggles of children in the foster care system and of the people trying to help them. It was very honest and I would recommend it to anyone.

This a really well-written account of a single man's 'adventure' in adopting three children. It's an adventure, but not in a good sense. While he tells us about the heartwarming moments and the funny moments, and his joy at being a new father, a good part of the story is about the stupidity and cluelessness of the people in the county children's services department and in his place of employment. He gets demoted at work because he's adopting kids. He finds racism at every turn and suspicion that he couldn't possibly be a good father. Children's services drags their feet and makes a series of missteps - one starts to wonder if they are intentional - in helping him adopt his children. But the book does have a happy ending, in its own way. show more He adopts his children and tells the reader about the kind of people they are, and you can hear the love and awe in his voice. His story is well-written and I stayed up late over to nights to read it. I highly recommend it. show less

This book could have used some serious editing, but don't let that stop you from reading it. David Marin tells of deciding to adopt after coming to the conclusion that he might not come to parenthood the typical way. What he didn't expect to do was adopt three children as a single parent, and kids that didn't look like him, at that. Even though I don't have children, and never had the desire, his descriptions of the rewards in being able to take care of his children moved me. He also raises some points to ponder about how we address immigration and immigrants.

The downsides? It felt like he took the chapters, threw them in the air, and published them in the order they fell, and his melding of statistics in with his own story was clunky. show more One again, don't let it keep you from this very special experience. show less