Bill The Vampire

by Rick Gualtieri

The Tome of Bill (1)

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THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE'S NOT ONE OF THEM. Loud-mouthed gamer Bill Ryder thought the dice had finally rolled in his favor when he met Sally. Sadly, his triumph quickly turned into a critical failure - leaving him at death's door with his throat torn out. Now he's a vampire, trapped in a world of monsters that are stronger, deadlier, and a hell of a lot cooler. They're giving him just ninety days to prove he has what it takes to be an apex predator of the night, assuming he show more doesn't give them a reason to dust his ass sooner. This game isn't over yet, though. Turns out a vamp like Bill hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unexpected allies, and an attitude that's too obnoxious to quit. He'll need all that and more if he doesn't want to end up even deader than last time. Join him in this hilarious tale of bloodthirsty beasts, gory mayhem, and an unlikely hero who's still at the bottom of the food chain. ---------- Bill The Vampire is book one of The Tome of Bill, the quintessential vampire comedy series. Perfect for fans of Shayne Silvers, Steve McHugh, Jim Butcher, and What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from start to finish. Don't miss out on this bloody good time! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to sink your teeth into a world of undead mayhem and gut-busting humor. Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor. show less

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9 reviews
This is not a book that I would typically choose. I am not much of a fan of Vampire reads...
I overindulged years ago with a series of books by a different author. So, why did I pay actual
money to read a book that I wouldn't choose?

Twitter.

This book was hilarious. It was a good fun read for a nice stormy afternoon. ( who knew it
was accompanied by ambiance. The interwebs are fabulous, don't you think?) Anyway. I
downloaded the book and rather doggedly proceeded to the first few sentences. The feeling
was more determination than anticipation, you know? Anyway.. onward. I wanted to read it
and move on to other things. But something strange happened. I found myself trying to read
while I ate, and while I was on the phone. I didn't want to put it show more down. Determination was long
gone, I just wanted to see what happened next.

Bill, ( the Vampire) cracked me up. He did remind me of someone, and that might have been
what kept me going through the first chapter, and it definitely added to my reading pleasure as
tore through the rest of the book. I always like to thank an author who has provided me with a
good read, so hey.. Bill! I mean Rick! This was fun. Thank you !

I will have to read the next one. Resistance is futile, that is clear...
show less
Night Razor, Dr. Death and Dusk Reaper walk in to a bar...
I picked up this book because it was offered at 99 cents. And because of the review that said this book is a good "brain-scrub" after reading a less good book. It worked. This book was easy to get into and it was a very quick read. It was fun to read many of the pop culture references, reminding me that I'm a geek and a movie buff too.
What does my 3-star rating mean then? It means I really enjoyed the book, but it'll fade from my mind relatively fast. The characters are quite one-sided and seem to have a similar personality. They all have fast come-backs, sharp sarcasm and smugness. A little more difference between characters would be appreciated.
That said, I've already show more picked up the next book in the series and I'm about to start reading more about what Bi.. sorry, Dr. Death gets up to. show less
This is just funny. Not deep. Not brain food. Bill is a jerk. Bill made me laugh and stay up past my bedtime because I didn't want to put the book down.

This is probably one of the funniest books I've read/listened to in a long while. I got this as a whisper-sync book, and am so glad I did because I can't stop reading it. It really is laugh out loud funny and totally inappropriate. Not at all PC!
Hysterical! Yes, it's juvenile male humor, but it's damned funny.
This is just funny. Not deep. Not brain food. Bill is a jerk. Bill made me laugh and stay up past my bedtime because I didn't want to put the book down.

Ok so this was interesting and funny but I couldn't get into it not sure if I'll carry on with the series

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46+ Works 936 Members

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Canonical title
Bill The Vampire
People/Characters
Bill Ryder; Sally Sunset; Night Razor; Ozymandias; Tom; Ed

Classifications

Genres
Fiction and Literature, Fantasy, Horror
DDC/MDS
813.6Literature & rhetoricAmerican literature in EnglishAmerican fiction in English2000-
BISAC

Statistics

Members
222
Popularity
144,980
Reviews
9
Rating
½ (3.59)
Languages
English
Media
Paper, Audiobook, Ebook
ISBNs
6
ASINs
3