Not My Father's Son: A Memoir

This was a wonderful memoir, framed around the time Cumming was filming the UK version of 'Who Do You Think You Are?' He goes back and forth in time, recounting the abuse - both mental and physical - he suffered at the hands of his father, and the contemporary story of trying to discover the truth about his maternal grandfather and other family secrets. Cummings' intelligence and wit comes through clearly, as does the pain and alienation brought on by the abuse. It's a very well-done mix of "then" and "now," but anyone looking for a juicy celebrity memoir will be disappointed. He only mentions some details of his career in passing. The focus here is on the damage that people can suffer, often in silence, and the redemption to be found show more in speaking up and speaking out. show less

Not My Father's Son isn't a typical celebrity tell-all. Instead, Alan Cumming uses his appearance on the genealogical reality show Who Do You Think You Are? as a hook around which to explore his family history: both the mysterious death of his maternal grandfather in 1950s Malaysia, which the show investigated, and his off-camera grapplings with the fall-out of a childhood spent in fear of an abusive and rage-filled father. Cumming is admirably clear-eyed, honest without being self-pitying or maudlin, and shows a remarkable ability to turn lemons into lemonade.

Alan Cumming wrote this memoir from an apparent place of utter vulnerability and honesty and compassion. I was surprised and moved by the empathy Cumming expresses, not just for his beloved mother and older brother, but also for a grandfather he never knew, and, most astonishingly, for a father who did nothing but wreak psychological and physical torment on him as a child. The adjectives "honest" and "brave" come to mind for me, which are both words that I would not usually associate with celebrity autobiography as a genre, but they are apt for this one. I trusted the person Cumming wrote himself to be. I felt honored that he shared his story so honestly. I'm glad to have read this book, and I'm glad he wrote it.

In “Not My Father’s Son” actor Alan Cumming tells two stories; one about his father and one about his maternal grandfather. Cumming grew up in the Scottish highlands of Panmure where he was terrorized by his unpredictable and violent father. There's a horrific passage about his father holding him down and shaving his head with a rusty old razor, like he was an animal being shorn. In spite of his mother's love and support, Cumming writes, “there is not one memory from our childhoods that is not clouded by fear of humiliation or pain.”

After appearing in Hamlet, Cumming found himself in a state of depression over his own inability to confront his father about their relationship. The stories he tells about his violet and unstable show more father are just heartbreaking. The second story stems from his appearance on “Who Do You Think You Are?” where he goes on a search for what happened to his maternal grandfather, Tommy Darling, who was accidentally killed in Malaya five years after World War 2.

The actor excels at describing his relationship with his father in a raw edged and painful way. While it's very sad, I believe it could also give hope to those who struggle with overcoming a difficult childhood. This story is testament to people everywhere that your past may shape you, but it certainly doesn't have to define you. show less

In “Not My Father’s Son” actor Alan Cumming tells two stories; one about his father and one about his maternal grandfather. Cumming grew up in the Scottish highlands of Panmure where he was terrorized by his unpredictable and violent father. There's a horrific passage about his father holding him down and shaving his head with a rusty old razor, like he was an animal being shorn. In spite of his mother's love and support, Cumming writes, “there is not one memory from our childhoods that is not clouded by fear of humiliation or pain.”

After appearing in Hamlet, Cumming found himself in a state of depression over his own inability to confront his father about their relationship. The stories he tells about his violet and unstable show more father are just heartbreaking. The second story stems from his appearance on “Who Do You Think You Are?” where he goes on a search for what happened to his maternal grandfather, Tommy Darling, who was accidentally killed in Malaya five years after World War 2.

The actor excels at describing his relationship with his father in a raw edged and painful way. While it's very sad, I believe it could also give hope to those who struggle with overcoming a difficult childhood. This story is testament to people everywhere that your past may shape you, but it certainly doesn't have to define you. show less

This is my first foray into the celebrity memoir, and I have to say, I couldn't have chosen better. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Cumming and I shared a similar UNpleasant childhood. Even though I know many people have dealt with a cold-blooded, authoritarian father, it seemed refreshing to know that a famous person dealt with it too. He also deals with it in a realistic, matter-of-fact way--- lacking the sensationalism of say, Mommie Dearest. Good for Cumming (and for all of us) for becoming a better, stronger person in the end. I really liked his having investigated all of the skeletons in the familial closet. The story of the grandfather was intriguing albeit tragic for the family. I liked that the "my celebrity life" stuff show more was kept to a minimum. I probably wouldn't have listened to it if there was more to it. It was a really good book, I highly recommend it to fans of Cumming as well as those of us who have dealt with family "issues". show less

Not My Father's Son is a roller coaster ride of a memoir. It's shocking and compelling in equal measure. What makes the story truly memorable, though, is Alan Cumming's indomitable sense of humor and the wisdom he takes away from his experiences.

It's hard to believe everything he went through in the summer of 2010. I'd be just as fascinated by this story even if Mr. Cumming weren't a celebrity.

I don't want to risk giving away any of the twists and turns, so I won't summarize the plot here. Suffice it to say, I know very few people who have gone through such a fundamental crisis of identity.

I tend to be wary of celebrity memoirs and autobiographies. Too often, they're too narcissistic, too self-aggrandizing or apologetic. Too often, show more artists who I admire turn out to be terrible writers and I'm left disappointed.

Not My Father's Son suffers none these problems. Mr. Cumming is intelligent and erudite, funny, insightful, and essentially humble but without false modesty. I've long admired him as an actor—now I admire him even more as a man.

Really, the only bone I have to pick with this book is that he talks about something at the very beginning which more-or-less gives away one of the big secrets later on.

Except for that one misstep, Not My Father's Son is a very good memoir and a fascinating tale. show less