Family Romance

John Lanchester is one of those authors that I keep forgetting that I love. Every one of his books is like a fresh, delightful new voice in my head and then I remember that I have admired his work before. Part of the reason for this may be because each of his books is quite different. I still recommend [b:The Debt to Pleasure|169510|The Debt to Pleasure|John Lanchester|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1312009160s/169510.jpg|163686] often as though it came out yesterday rather than 15 years ago. It is a sly and witty mystery about a cookbook writer who is not quite what he seems.

Family Romance is a smart memoir about a complex set of parents. Lanchester discovers his mother's past after her death and spends the book unraveling the show more person that she was from the person that he thought he knew. Absolutely filled with witty, observent asides about the choices that we make in life. I just loved this book on so many different levels. My poor husband had to listen to me read paragraphs aloud at least ten times, and that is a rare enough occasion to distinguish the book as a new favorite. show less

I've read a couple of John Lanchester's novels, but this autobiography (which I encountered when mentioned by Paul Theroux) is completely fascinating even if you've never heard of him.
Lanchester opens up with information he discovered after his mother's death....she had been a nun for a number of years before 'escaping.'.And she was ten years older than her faked records showed...
Lanchester gives a quite gripping account of her Irish upbringing; the approbation when she took orders...and the strong disapproval when she abandoned it.
He then describes his father- reserved, dutiful, plodding along in the world of banking...and his colonial upbringing.
And lastly he tells of his own life; the often tense family dynamic, full of things show more unsaid, which maybe contributed to a mental breakdown in adulthood. show less

After John Lanchester's mother died, he found out that she had been keeping a secret about her life since before he was born. In this book, he tells the story of her life, and his father's, and comes to an understanding of his parents as they were, why his mother had felt the need to keep the secret, and how the influence of that secret spread through her life.

It's a fascinating story, and the book is sensitive, thoughtful, and honest - you sense that Lanchester has pored over all the scraps of evidence that his parents left behind.

At the same time, though, I found it a little too intellectual - for example, the part about how his mother's life was limited by her secret is very moving - but only when you put the book down and think show more about it. His writing is so meticulous and detached that it's almost a barrier to emotional connection. show less

Well written but perhaps a bit too much of it. Feel he is looking for something, but not quite clear what. Gives a sense of how the British character seems to have changed in our lifetime, from the repressed, dutiful, obedient, conforming, to the emotionally expressive, perhaps more selfish, modern. Confluence of the poor Irish catholic stream with the English professional colonial is intriguing. The best is the detailed portrait of what it was like for his mother as a nun: the physical, mental, verbal, sartorial constraints. And how hard it was to get out.

Fiction fans often suppose that a novel’s plot reflects the writer’s life. Readers of Lanchester’s dark satire Debt to Pleasure will be relieved that this truism is not always the case, and intrigued by the relaxed tone of this engaging memoir. In lesser hands, the family secrets revealed in Family Romance, might have been presented in a more sensational style. In this treatment, the family revelations are more emotionally involving for the reader because of the restraint shown in the telling. Recommended.

I found this absolutely fascinating. It is primarily the story of John Lanchester's parents who both in their own ways led lives that were sometimes quite extraordinary. I wasn''t totally convinced by all the explanations Lanchester gives for his own and his parents behaviour and personality traits but I remained glued to the book throughout. A very thoughtful and thought provoking story.

A rather wordy story based on family history in late 1900s John Lancaster the author was born ib 1962 in england and he has done a commendible job of researching and retelling his heritage