American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics

Dan Savage can never be accused of being shy or quiet. One can’t be and make a living as a sex advice columnist, and a gay one at that. Over the years, he has made a name for himself not only for the advice he gives but also for his rabid following and his impact on the equal rights movement, especially the It Gets Better project. In American Savage, Mr. Savage tackles an eclectic range of topics that include his experiences as a parent, his mother’s death, gay pride, the political left, and others. He provides thoughtful insight into each topic while remaining true to his ideals and manages to insert his unique brand of humor as well.

One of the best things about American Savage is the care Mr. Savage takes to cite all statistics show more and quotes he references throughout the book. Not only that, but he takes the time to explain the context of his chosen quote or statistic. As he posits the dangers of taking facts out of context or of the failure of various news media to fact-check, this is reassuring that he practices what he preaches. This is important given how many hot-button topics upon which he expounds throughout the book – national healthcare, doctor-assisted suicide, sex education, and religion, just to name a few. A reader may not agree with his opinions, but one has to appreciate his diligence at providing the full picture of any given argument rather than just a one-sided rant without data to back up his statements.

Mr. Savage is not afraid to admit his mistakes, nor does he avoid calling a spade a spade. This can make for an amusing, although somewhat crude, dialogue as he discusses how much he has learned over his twenty years of writing his column and sets the record straight for those who might use some of his columns to skew an issue. Those who follow Mr. Savage, or politics, know about his involvement in Rick Santorum’s Google problem. It was all over the headlines last year. In case you don’t know what the kerfuffle is, be warned before you Google it that it is not for the squeamish, easily offended, or socially conservative. For those who already know, or are not afraid of what they are going to find, the chapter in which Mr. Savage sets the record straight on Santorum’s Google problem is sharp, politically aware, and absolutely hilarious. It is a perfect example of how careful Mr. Savage is to make sure everyone understands both sides of an argument.

Mr. Savage not only spends his time writing his column, but he does quite a bit of public speaking as well. This stands him in good stead as narrator for the audiobook. His voice is enjoyable, while his presentation is even more so. He masters the irony and the sarcasm that sneaks its way into the narrative. However, it is when he is discussing his mother’s death and his own son’s “coming out” where his performance truly shines. The emotion he tries to disguise is absolutely heart-breaking and does more to prove how honest and open he is about everything than anything else he could say about his experiences or his opinions. Some books are meant to be read, and some books are meant to be enjoyed as an auditory experience. Given Mr. Savage’s speaking prowess, and the enhanced enjoyment his performance brings to his written word, American Savage is one novel meant to be enjoyed via audiobook.

Just like the Rick Santorum issue, American Savage is not necessarily for conservatives given his very progressive opinions. However, while he has no problem ridiculing the conservative left, he does present their viewpoints and does allow readers to form their own opinions. This speaks to his brilliance in remaining relevant, insightful, and – for all his mockery – fair. He uses his own personal experience but backs up his opinions with scientific data and actual quotes from public sources, but most importantly, he cites everything he uses so that a reader can also do his or her own research. The end product is amusing, informative, tremendously thought-provoking, and definite worthwhile reading in our current political chaos. show less

Dan Savage is just that delightful mix of snark, sex advice, and politics, and his book is a satisfying look at an assortment of social and political issues from gay marriage to death with dignity. Now granted, I'm a big liberal, but there were definitely parts of the book that had me laughing out loud and basking in Dan's smart, swift cuts to bigotry, misogyny, and the crazy Christians out there. But whether you agree with him or not, he raises a lot of good points and makes a well-thought out case for his opinions, backed by examples and studies. And if you aren't in tears reading the chapter about his mom, I don't think you have a heart in your body. Thoroughly enjoyable book and it makes me happy to have Dan's activist voice out show more there sticking it to the Santorums of the world. show less

From my Cannonball Read V review ...

Is it possible that I’m the first Cannonball reader to review a Dan Savage book? That is so, so wrong. His writing seems perfect for this group.

This is the best memoir-style book I’ve read this year, and probably ever. It’s a mix of very personal and very political stories used to discussion issues like gay rights, same sex marriage, religion, death with dignity and feminism. It twice made me tear up, and had both me and my husband laughing, shouting and really thinking about the points being made.

Instead of reading the rest of my review you should really just open a new tab (or run to your local independent book store) and purchase it.

Okay, have you done that? Awesome.

What, two sentences show more isn’t enough for you? Fine. If you still need some convincing, read on.

My husband and I listened to the audio version (read by the fantastic Mr. Savage himself) while driving across Scotland and Ireland on our honeymoon. Given how much time is spent on the Catholic Church and the conservative Christian fight against civil marriage rights, it seemed both appropriate and a little naughty. If you’re not familiar with Mr. Savage’s work, he’s been a sex columnist for the Stranger for years, and hosts a great weekly sex advice podcast (look up Savage Love – it’s wonderful). He is also one of the great minds behind Hump, the amateur porn film festival held in Seattle, Olympia and Portland each fall (http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Hump2013/Page). He is an outspoken advocate for LGBT rights, and, probably most importantly to so many, he and his husband founded the It Gets Better Project, which brings words of hope and comfort to LGBT kids around the world. If you’re not familiar with the It Gets Better Project, get yourself to the internet (http://www.itgetsbetter.org/).

With chapter headings ranging from “At a Loss” to “Bigot Christmas”, Mr. Savage addresses the loss of his mother, the fight against anti-gay hate groups, and some simple rules for when cheating might actually be okay. It’s made even more interesting set against the backdrop of his Catholic upbringing. He makes extremely well-reasoned arguments, addressing issues that so many are passionate about with logic and determination. Yes, I agree with him on most everything, but wow, I can’t imagine how those who disagree with him could even begin to logically address his points. They are just that good.

In only one part did I find myself somewhat disagreeing with Mr. Savage, and that was one point in his Straight Pride Parade (e.g. Halloween) discussion. I won’t go into total detail here, but he and I differ on whether the teeny tiny costume for women thing is a problem. I think his argument (that it isn’t) was mostly fought against a straw man. I support women making the choice of what to wear, and I do agree that too many people judge that choice. However, I thought that he failed to address the expectation that is created around that, and how when the only choices out there are sexy nurse, not only does that create some messed up expectation for women, but for what men expect to see. That’s not the worst issue to disagree on, and I think reasonable people can. But since I fawned over pretty much everything else I thought I should sneak this point of disagreement in there.

Finally, a warning: the book is filled with honest language that can be extremely foul at time. I certainly didn’t mind it, and found that his way of writing sounds extremely natural, but I know some people cringe when they hear someone say “suck my dick.” So, there you go. Mr. Savage is also clearly very progressive so the conservatives among you are likely not going to like the book – although you might find it interesting to see how his ‘side’ views things.

Now. Go get the book. Please! show less

A lot of it is a rehash of what I've heard on his podcast. There were some nice anecdotes--learning about his mother, son, and partner Terry was great--and well-argued points. It was good to finally hear about what happened during Bigot Christmas, though Terry came off as the most sane person there. I guess I only give it 3 stars because it wasn't the most enjoyable read. I got very frustrated during many of the chapters, especially during the chapter about Obamacare, and don't quite know what to do with these angry feelings. Very weird and oddly appropriate to be reading about it during the government shutdown too, all over something that falls very short of truly getting everyone the health care they need regardless of social status.

Summary: In his latest book, sex advice columnist Dan Savage provides readers with a series of essays, providing his trademark pragmatic/sarcastic take on a wide variety of issues. A lot of the essays deal with contemporary issues in politics, religion, and American culture, but there are a few that are substantially more personal. The first essay discusses the death of Savage's mother, and his coming to terms with his faith (or lack thereof), but he goes on from there to cover issues of marriage and being monogamish, the state of sex education, the GGG phenomenon, his challenge to those who think homosexuality is a choice, his adopted son coming out to his fathers as straight, gay stereotypes on TV, the Folsom Street Fair, Halloween, show more closeted anti-gay legislators, the history of his column and his track record dealing with bisexuality, coming out of the closet now vs. 40 years ago, physician-assisted suicide, the Santorum situation, health insurance, gun violence, and the dinner table debate with Brian Brown.

Review: I love Dan Savage. I started reading his column almost 15 years ago, and have been a faithful listener of his podcast since its inception. It's one of the only podcasts that I listen to regularly, so when I got the chance to listen to his new book - narrated by Savage himself - I figured it would be great, and jumped at the chance. I was especially pleased, since I had a big drive coming up, and my backlog of Savage Love podcasts is typical roadtrip listening fare, so Dan Savage and the interstate highway system and me all typically get along splendidly.

So how did it work out for me? In truth, it was sort of a mixed bag. To clarify, I did enjoy the book, without question. I listened to it essentially straight through my drive, never switching over to music or another book. It was funny and provocative and touching in turns. I agree with most of what Savage has to say, and he makes his points passionately but eloquently; his level-headed and pragmatic approach to sensitive or taboo issues is a large part of why I've been listening to him all these years.

So you might be wondering: if the book was so good, what's the problem? And I think the problem is exactly that: I've been listening all these years. Dan's voice has been yammering in my ear since 2006, and so I've heard him make these same points many times before. The essays that I enjoyed the most were the ones that told stories or addressed topics that I hadn't heard about before. In particular, I really liked "Crazy, Mad, Salacious", about the portrayal of gay characters on TV when he was a teen watching with his father, and how it influenced him both positively and negatively, and how he sees similar things in the TV his own son is now watching. But other essays - for example those on Halloween ("The Straight Pride Parade") or "The Choicer Challenge" - come almost directly from his podcast and/or column, so they weren't telling me much that was new.

Further, I've heard him make these points in a much more off-the-cuff, natural sounding way. Dan on the podcast shooting off his mouth sounds a fair bit different than Dan reading his own writing, and I found the latter a bit distracting given that I'm so used to the former. (I totally understand why this is so, of course; most people don't write exactly like they talk, or vice versa, and it's got to be hard to read words that you went over and over during the editing process and make them sound totally fresh - that's just one of the reasons that I thought Kitchen Confidential was such an outstanding audiobook.) Some of the essays fare better than others; the first essay, about his mother, was one of the less successful from an audiobook perspective - it was obviously a very emotional piece for him to have written, and I could hear him flattening out just to get through reading it out loud. (Which, again: completely understandable, but kind of a shame, since it's really a beautiful and very moving piece.) 4 out of 5 stars.

Recommendation: Fans of his column and podcast are going to be the most likely to enjoy it, but they should be aware that some of it's going to sound pretty familiar. If you're a lefty-leaning and not-easily-offended person who is interested in contemporary political and social issues, and aren't already a fan of Savage's.... why the heck not? show less

You don’t have to agree with Dan Savage on everything to like this book. The parts that I remember best are when he has the head of the National Organization for Marriage over to his house for dinner so he can debate him, and the heartbreaking part when his mom dies.

An excellent, thought-provoking, unexpectedly sweet(though not if you pay close attention to Savage's other writings) and often very funny book. I listened to the audiobook, very well narrated by the author.