Rich Merritt

Gay guys who become porn stars are very interesting to me. Their stories, I suppose, are all very much alike, and very much like the stories that drive women to pornography...low self-esteem, a sense of failure in one's life, a desire to capitalize on physical beauty while it lasts, greed, the usual. But those driving forces aren't unique to these people, they're common to all of us in some degree or another. Why do these folks do this (to me) very scary and risky job?

Start with a damn-near show more fatal upbringing in the grasp of an Evangelical family; proceed to the Bob Jones-ing of his entire education, all the way from kindergarten (there is no link to the non-University of Bob Jones due to, um, controversies shall we say) to time in seminary; waking up and realizing he can not pray the gay away, subsequent substance abuse, two deliberate decisions to end his life.

This author pilots us through his decisions made...he didn't have sex with anyone until he was twenty-three! and he was sexually repressed to the point that his first sexual encounter predates the first time he ever masturbated!...and accepted; this with a degree of skill and a commendable lack of embarrassment that surprised me. I was expecting a defensive tone to creep in to the reports. He instead simply informs the reader of his choices and seems, while not endorsing them with hindsight, not to disavow the life he lived, either. The sense I get is of a guy I'd enjoy kickin' back with a beer, some nachos, and a bunch of good jazz CDs on shuffle with.


Plus he's really so very pretty to look at. show less

Really fascinating info on life at Bob Jones (oh, I mean "Bob Johnson") University. Through a friend who attended and then got better (to be fair, I think she felt it was a crazy cult when she was there, but now she is quite certain of her convictions) I know some of the underlying story. Only 3 stars because the writing was not very good -- I have read worse, but still. The main character has an epiphany about BJU rather suddenly. Sex and good conversation can open up a lot of vistas, but I show more don't think turnarounds for people fully indoctrinated happen quite that speedily. Also, notable, the points about the evilness of Jones and his henchmen were driven home a bit too hard. Let the story make your point, not the exposition. Still worth the read if you are interested in fundamentalism. show less

Not as provocative or the cover would lead you to believe. Well thought out autobiography of a gay marine and his life. Follows from childhood growing up in South Carolina and going to a fundamentalist school to his life as a marine and then following the marines a lawyer. A very personal look at his life and how and why he did what he did with his life.