Paul Monette (1945–1995)

This heartbreaking book is the true story of author Paul Monette’s final two years with his partner Roger Horwitz, who died of AIDS in 1986. Monette chronicles their discovery of the disease and the subsequent downward spiral which Roger’s health took, in a time where ignorance about AIDS was rife, and many people just didn’t want to know about it, thinking that it was a problem only for the gay community.

Roger’s symptoms and health problems are described fairly explicitly and the show more anguish of the author comes through on every page, as he describes seeing his soul mate struck down by a cruel and vicious illness. His anger at the lack of government interest in the disease is also palpable – and understandable.

But through it all, through every symptom, every ray of hope, every crushing disappointment, is the love. Paul and Roger were a couple so obviously, so completely in love, so together that Roger says, “…we’re the same person!” Yet there is no shying away from the problems they have been through – the brief affair which Paul had earlier in their relationship, and which he feels guilty about because he believes that that was the cause of Roger getting the HIV virus.

Monette talks about seeing friends struck down with “the plague” and describes the situation as a war. And it does feel like they were fighting a war – against AIDS, against ignorance, against indifference. He is aware that he himself has the HIV virus (Monette died of complications from AIDS in 1995).

The first line of the book says, “I don’t know if I will live to finish this.” I’m glad that he did. It’s honest and passionate, and a beautiful read. Keep a handkerchief handy if you are planning on reading it – you will cry, but it’s worth it.

Highly, highly recommended. show less

14 of 75 for 2015. Difficult to say if I should count this as it's really just a story published posthumously, but it is, strictly speaking, a book, if a very short one. Monette is one of my favorite authors. I have 8 of his works in my library at present, including all three of his AIDS memoirs. Sanctuary was originally intended to be one story in a collection. Like all fables, it is intended as instruction, and is beautifully told. The story of the love between a fox and a rabbit, both show more female, not only shows us how love changes our own nature--the fox becomes a vegetarian, as an example--but also shows how narrow minded outsiders may have difficulty accepting such a "contrary to nature" relationship. The story also is clear on the difference between true power and the illusion of power--something we all need to keep in mind in these frightful days. show less

“What am I going to do without him?”…
“Write about him Paul… That’s what you have to do.”

In a world before triple-drug therapy (HAART) was enacted and allowed individuals to live a normal lifespan with HIV, Monette and his lover Roger Horwitz contracted HIV, which ineluctably progressed into AIDS. Professionally, Horwitz was a lawyer and a lover of literature; Monette was a writer. Both were educated at Ivy League schools. This work is the first personal memoir of someone with show more AIDS.

The secret is that this book is not a story of a disease. Instead, it is a love story as passionate and profound as any written down in human language. In today’s world of marriage equality, works like this demonstrate the deep value of homosexual relationships. Monette beautifully voices his love using floral, expressive language that is expected among articulate heterosexuals… only Monette did so in an America and in a world that did not accept his humanity as fully as they do now. That defiant decency is the brilliance of this work.

Managing HIV/AIDS took over this couple’s lives. They went from vacationing in Greece to making regular stays at the hospital over 19 months. Horwitz dies at the end of this work, and Monette lived until 1995 – both dying of AIDS-related complications. Their love did not falter while being confronted with an evil enemy. It sustained until the bitter end. Thus, this book combines themes of love with those of a noble death.

Dare I say that heterosexuals need to read this book more than the gay and lesbian community? It speaks of the dignity of love in any context. It does not debauch into sensationalism, nor does it cower without decency. It puts to death many stereotypes of gay folk (even more common in the 1980s than in the 2020s). Evocative words draw readers from whatever background into Monette and Horwitz’s relationship and dare them to find something wrong with it. That message of love’s triumph still needs to be heard in 2021 as much as it did in 1988.

Obviously, gay men, who remain disproportionately and cruelly plagued with incurable HIV, and their allies will sympathize with Monette’s plight. They will find themselves and their own stories in the characters of this narrative. This is the natural audience. Nonetheless, Monette’s vivid words, so common to lovers yet glistening in the setting of AIDS in the 1980s, shine brightly for readers of varied backgrounds. They teach humanity inasmuch as they inspire humanity. Perhaps especially those who continue to belittle gay men as second-rate should listen and stand corrected. show less

I bought Borrowed Time: An AIDS Memoir by Monette because it was recommended by a class on AIDS I was taking as research for a book I'm writing. I thought the book might help me better understand the AIDS patient and even AIDS itself. Monette tells a story that is a heartbreaking mix of love, family, and loss. Not just the loss of his life partner but loss of a way of being in the world. He demonstrates eloquently the devastation fear wreaks when knowledge is minimal while showing the show more immense power of love to hold people together. At times, Monette's self-deprecation felt a bit too much, but it showed a glimpse into how insecurities can push us to both our best and our worst. He talked with graphic detail about the physical havoc AIDS brought not only to the bodies of those who suffer with it but to the lives and the communities where AIDS became such an accepted part of life that people talked about when instead of if. Monette talks about his and the gay community's resentment of people's ignorance and particularly their determination to remain ignorant. His love for his life partner, Roger Horwitz, is palpable throughout the book. I felt almost like an interloper in their lives in some of the more intimate portions of the book. Monette writes in a way that had me wishing for Roger to be saved even though I knew before I even began the book that was impossible. Near the end, I also found myself longing for Roger's suffering to end even though the end of that suffering meant death. Monette's description of full-blown AIDS and the suffering of not only Roger but their friends broke my heart and made me determined to support death with dignity laws. Monette downplays his own diagnosis of AIDS throughout the book. Roger is his focus because Roger is the one who is in crisis. I felt Monette's grief throughout the pages. I felt the secrecy in place to try to protect those who could offer support. I felt the love these two men shared. I felt the openness of love and compassion coupled with the anger and despair at a system not moving quickly enough to make a difference in lives. Borrowed Time is a reminder that no matter who we are, how we live our lives, or who we love, the time we have is only borrowed and it will be taken away at some point... show less