"You're in the Wrong Bathroom!": And 20 Other Myths and Misconceptions About Transgender and Gender-Nonconforming People

I actually finished this book weeks ago and put off reviewing it because there was just so much I wanted to say and I wasn't sure how to say it. So fair warning, I have no idea how coherent this review is. But overall this book is freaking awesome, and I really learned a lot, including things I'd wondered about before as well as stuff I had never thought to wonder about at all.

The book offers explanations and information on a variety of trans and gender-nonconforming identities, all of which I had heard before but many of which I knew very little about.

I love that the book talks about sex work in a positive light, that for many it can actually be very empowering and not at all humiliating or something done out of desperation, while at show more the same time noting that the notion that nearly all trans people are sex workers is false.

The book adequately explained how complicated trans people's relationships with their bodies can be, while being very clear that not all trans people "hate" their bodies or feel revulsion towards their bodies. I liked the explanations for the different ways trans people may engage in sexual activities, and was pleasantly surprised to see bdsm referenced in a positive light.

The chapter on the different issues and complications concerning revealing one's transgender status to family, friends, and lovers was very well-written. It also brought up something I've never actually considered, that the reason some cisgender people freak out when they find out their partner is trans is because in certain (narrow-minded, homophobic) ways it might make them look "gay" to outsiders, especially outsiders who don't accept the trans-person's identity. If homophobia wasn't so prevalent, then it wouldn't be such a huge deal if some outsider thought it made you seem gay.

Reading about all the different negativity and discrimination surrounding non-cisgender identities was both very eye-opening and so, so frustrating to read. It definitely pissed me off to read about trans parents losing rights to their children just because they came out as trans. I honestly had no idea that trans-identities are still specified as a mental disorder in the DSM. I knew, because of my own sexuality, that homosexuality had been removed from that manual multiple years ago... I guess I assumed that transgender-ness was removed then as well. While this book makes a rather good point that "gender dysphoria" being a diagnosible "illness" can have the positive effect of causing trans health care to be covered by some insurances, I definitely think that it does more harm then good when it comes to societies perceptions and acceptance of trans identities. As long as a supposedly accurate authority on mental health classifies it as an illness, people will use that as a reason to discriminate.

It's frustrating that actual medical transition surgeries are so restricted and hard to obtain, very expensive and requiring letters of "recommendation", like the individual's own needs aren't good enough and have to be verified by others. I was very interested to learn effects of hormones and myths that aren't always true, like estrogen making you emotional and testosterone making you angry.

It's sort of horrifying to realize that roughly 1/5th of all trans people have been homeless at some point in their lives, and 40% of trans prisoners are sexually abused... It's scary. And yet again shows just how much growing society needs to do, how crucial it is to push for changes.

Frustrating that the book talks about the 2016 action that allowed trans in military, but since the book was published that has changed drastically.

I really liked learning about the history of changing terms, from "invert" to transvestite to transsexual to transgender, and how gender and sexual identities used to be assumed to always be linked. So many other cultures have their own words and concepts for people who may not be simply male or female. It seems that in some ways certain cultures seem to be ahead of the US in terms of acceptance, but it often seems that that acceptance comes with conditions.

The last couple chapters touched on something that's always confused me: Why and how minorities that face discrimination can sometimes be so discriminatory themselves. So-called feminists being outspoken against trans women, the LGB community not wanting to include the "T" in their equal-rights movements, it just makes no sense to me. If you know what it's like to face discrimination and have certain rights denied to you, why on earth would you act that way towards anyone else?

All in all this is a very wonderful, well-written book that explores so many different topics and I would strongly recommend it to anyone who may want to educate themselves. show less

"You're in the Wrong Bathroom" contains a bunch of short essays each confronting different commonly-held myths about transgender and gender-nonconforming folks. It is a very quick read, and quite informative. If you've heard a lot about "bathroom bills" and don't know what the fuss is about, or maybe you've heard about the recent Trump ban on trans folks serving in the military, and you're interested in finding out more about transgender and gender-nonconforming lives, this would be a great first resource. For those with a lot of previous knowledge on the topic, this will not likely contain anything new.

An excellent (and short) book that explains why 21 myths about trans and other gender non-conforming people are wrong and why these myths are harmful. Each chapter tackles one of the myths. The chapters are grouped in four parts: Identity, Sex and Relationships, Health and Safety, and History and Community. The authors are two trans women. One is a psychiatrist; the other a therapist. Both serve the LGBTQ community.

At a time when more people are talking about trans issues from Caitlyn Jenner to bathrooms, this book provides background and context to the reader. The book helped inform my thinking about these issues. (Note: I read an uncorrected page proof edition of the book.)

This is a wonderfully written book. I would have liked a glossary of some of the terms as I got a bit confused on some and had to try and find the explanation in past chapters. Other than that bit, I was well pleased with how the book was edited.
Each chapter is a myth that I know causes consternation in the conservative world. The reader may already know quite a bit, or think they do. But this will help explain in clear concise language what might be going through the transgender person's mind at any given time or fears they feel. The prejudice that is even within the trans community. That surprised me, but I guess it shouldn't. In a struggle to be accepted, support from within should be the norm. But it isn't. I can sort of identify show more with that as a woman in the world of women who can delight in bringing each other down rather than raising each other up.
But I know that I can go into the women's restroom at the store and not have anyone give me any grief. I won't have to fear that someone will tell me that I can't adopt because I am not a 'real woman' or have my children taken from me due to a law. Or fear of losing my job.
I can definitely recommend this book for anyone who wants to learn more about this subject. show less

First off, I have to say that I received this book through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program, and I am grateful to the publisher for the copy of this book.

I will say that I did not have super high hopes for this, mostly because I haven't seen a kind of 'introduction to transgender' done well before, but this surprised me with its nuance! The authors do a pretty decent job of painting trans people as more than a monolith, and always leave room for a lot of difference within the community, which I really enjoyed and found interesting. My one major complaint is that although there are "notes" in the back, these notes are not connected to specific claims in the book, so when I come across something that makes me go "oh???" I can't show more find the exact place the authors got that information. I understand why they might not use foot or endnotes (some readers might find them intimidating) but it was something I missed.

I will also say this isn't really a 101-level book, either; more like 102, maybe. It felt accessible but like maybe there was a little bit of previous knowledge needed. I could be wrong though, as I have a hard time gauging these things.

Overall, I was pretty pleasantly surprised to see how nuanced this book was, and encourage folks who might have questions to seek it out! show less

I received this book as part of the LibraryThing Early Reviewer Program. Overall, I think the authors did a good job of covering a lot of bases, discussing intersectionality (connections between race/feminism/GLBT issues/class/etc), and nicely highlighting concepts like that many of the issues trans people run into are the fault of an intolerant society, not a fault of themselves. (And can society fix itself soon please?)

My only complaint is that sometimes they are frank enough that I would be uncomfortable handing this book to either a teen student or one of my aunts. It has a chapter on sex-workers and another one on sexual practices, and they did a good job with their discussion - they are wonderfully non-judgemental - but they are show more occasionally more open than some people may be ready for. On the whole, though, for a 140 page book it answers a lot of questions.

It has an extensive list of resources - books, organizations, websites, etc - at the end. show less

Good basic guide to current gender identity issues, including historical background and a long list of resources. Valuable information for friends, family and allies as well. Definitely biased in that it mentions but does not give time to theorists who challenge the reality of trans identity. Let them write their own books. If you are curious or uninformed or merely curious about the issue this is a good book to start with.