At 88, Lady Slane is widowed, and feels that for the first time in her life, she can live the life she wants, not the life her parents chose for her, or resulted from her husband's career and choices. Her grown-up children, themselves in their sixties, are appalled, but she makes the arrangements and does it, leading to the company of three eccentric men, and a growing interest in her great-grandchildren, who she didn't use to be interested in at all. ( )

Widowed at age 88, Lady Slane spends what is left of her life pondering the road not taken. No longer content to go along with other people’s plans for her life, Lady Slane chooses her own future. She moves into a rented house in Hampstead with her elderly French maid, and she develops companionable relations with other elderly folk of a similarly unconventional outlook. Sackville-West’s insightful prose falls short of perfection from too much telling and too little showing. ( )

Over het leven van Deborah Slane, tijdens het verhaal wordt ze weduwe als ze 88 is. Ze heeft van haar dominante man gehouden en zes kinderen gekregen, maar liever was ze schilderes geworden. Er zijn zeer amusante passages, over haar kinderen (die ze over het algemeen lastig vindt) en over haar relatie tot haar huisbaas en een oude kennis, FitzGeorge, die haar uiteindelijk zijn hele bezit nalaat. Dat schenkt ze onmiddellijk weg, tot grote ergernis van haar kinderen. ( )

About Love, Sacrifice, and Redemption

Upon reflection, Vita Sackville-West seems the perfect person to write the story of a highborn woman who subordinates her life fully to the needs of her husband, the demands of his public office, and to motherhood, because she lived her life in nearly complete opposite fashion. While her diplomat husband Harold Nicolson toiled in offices in Europe and the Middle East, she maintained their residence in England, occasionally visiting him and writing of her journey, as in . Lady Deborah Slane only discovers the independence VSW maintained after the death of her husband, Henry Holland, as she casts back upon her life in Part Two, the beautiful and thoughtful heart of the novel. And why did Lady Slane sacrifice her ambition to live her life as a painter? For the same reason VSW gave up her famously scandalous affair with Violet Trefusis:

"All the parts of her that were not Henry Holland's had pulled in opposition, yet by this single giant of love they had all been pulled over, as the weaker team in a tug-of-war. Her ambitions, her secret existence, all had given way. She had loved him so much that even her resentment was subdued. She could not grudge him ever the sacrifice he had imposed upon her."

Part Two is where VSW displays her strongly feminist (though she would vigorously object to the word, preferring human rights) viewpoint, particularly in Lady Slane's recollection of her internal struggle over the meaning of her impending marriage to Henry. Betty Friedan gave it a name in 1963: The Feminine Mystique.

Part One of the novel in three parts sets the scene. Upon the death of Henry, the Holland children, all in their 60s, and none, with the exceptions of muddling, sweet Edith and solitary Kay, a man who collects astrolabes and such, present themselves as very likable. They conspire a plan spun from their own needs to care for their mother. Then Lady Slane shocks them with her announcement she will take a house in Hampstead, an expression of unexpected independence that most of them see as a bit of senility. As VSW tells it:

"Herbert, Carrie, Charles, and William decided that their mother must be mad. They took a step forward, and from having always thought her simple, decided that old age had definitely affected her brain. Her madness, however, was taking a harmless and even convenient form. William might be thinking rather regretfully of the lost subsidy to his house-books, Carrie and Herbert might remain still a little dubious about the eyes of the world, but, on the whole, it was a relief to find their mother settling her own affairs. Kay gazed inquiringly at his mother. He had taken her so much for granted--her gentleness, her unselfishness, her impersonal activities--and now, for the first time in his life, it was becoming apparent to Kay that people could still hold surprises up their sleeves, however long one had known them. Edith alone frolicked in her mind. She thought her mother not mad, but most conspicuously sane."

After Lady Slane moves, we meet people, in addition to her equally elderly maid Genoux, we do like, namely Mr. Bucktrout, the friendly and caring landlord, and the tradesman of varied skills, Mr. Gosheron, two gentlemen who take a greater interest in her well being than her children. Later, VSW introduces Mr. FitzGeorge, the remarkably reclusive millionaire collector of invaluable art purchased at bargain basement prices, what gratifies him most in life. Each of these individuals enriches Lady Slane's last months. And it is Mr. FitzGeorge who empowers Lady Slane to truly stun her children.

Part Three expands upon her relationship with Mr. FitzGeorge, who met her in India when she was Vicereine. She had forgotten him, simply another of the many faces that passed before her during her years with Henry. She, however, forever captivated him. As the months pass, Mr. FitzGeorge explains himself and makes cogent observations about her life and, really, about the lives of many talented women, two of which will give the flavor of his thinking, doubtless the mirror image of VSW's. He says:

"Face it, Lady Slane. Your children, your husband, your splendour, were nothing but obstacles that kept you from yourself. They were what you chose to substitute for your real vocation." To which, upon consideration, she agrees. He follows with: "According to his [Henry] lights, he gave you all you could desire. He merely killed you, that's all. Men do kill women. Most women enjoy being killed; so I am told. Being a woman, I daresay that even you took a certain pleasure in the process."

In the end, Mr. FitzGeorge provides her with something of a second chance. He enables her to upend the selfish plans of her children, delight Edith and Genoux, and allow her great-granddaughter, Deborah, to escape an ordained marriage to pursue her creative dreams, as Lady Slane could and did not.

Highly recommended for its graceful beauty, insights into love and personal independence, and its forward-looking viewpoint. ( )

About Love, Sacrifice, and Redemption

Upon reflection, Vita Sackville-West seems the perfect person to write the story of a highborn woman who subordinates her life fully to the needs of her husband, the demands of his public office, and to motherhood, because she lived her life in nearly complete opposite fashion. While her diplomat husband Harold Nicolson toiled in offices in Europe and the Middle East, she maintained their residence in England, occasionally visiting him and writing of her journey, as in . Lady Deborah Slane only discovers the independence VSW maintained after the death of her husband, Henry Holland, as she casts back upon her life in Part Two, the beautiful and thoughtful heart of the novel. And why did Lady Slane sacrifice her ambition to live her life as a painter? For the same reason VSW gave up her famously scandalous affair with Violet Trefusis:

"All the parts of her that were not Henry Holland's had pulled in opposition, yet by this single giant of love they had all been pulled over, as the weaker team in a tug-of-war. Her ambitions, her secret existence, all had given way. She had loved him so much that even her resentment was subdued. She could not grudge him ever the sacrifice he had imposed upon her."

Part Two is where VSW displays her strongly feminist (though she would vigorously object to the word, preferring human rights) viewpoint, particularly in Lady Slane's recollection of her internal struggle over the meaning of her impending marriage to Henry. Betty Friedan gave it a name in 1963: The Feminine Mystique.

Part One of the novel in three parts sets the scene. Upon the death of Henry, the Holland children, all in their 60s, and none, with the exceptions of muddling, sweet Edith and solitary Kay, a man who collects astrolabes and such, present themselves as very likable. They conspire a plan spun from their own needs to care for their mother. Then Lady Slane shocks them with her announcement she will take a house in Hampstead, an expression of unexpected independence that most of them see as a bit of senility. As VSW tells it:

"Herbert, Carrie, Charles, and William decided that their mother must be mad. They took a step forward, and from having always thought her simple, decided that old age had definitely affected her brain. Her madness, however, was taking a harmless and even convenient form. William might be thinking rather regretfully of the lost subsidy to his house-books, Carrie and Herbert might remain still a little dubious about the eyes of the world, but, on the whole, it was a relief to find their mother settling her own affairs. Kay gazed inquiringly at his mother. He had taken her so much for granted--her gentleness, her unselfishness, her impersonal activities--and now, for the first time in his life, it was becoming apparent to Kay that people could still hold surprises up their sleeves, however long one had known them. Edith alone frolicked in her mind. She thought her mother not mad, but most conspicuously sane."

After Lady Slane moves, we meet people, in addition to her equally elderly maid Genoux, we do like, namely Mr. Bucktrout, the friendly and caring landlord, and the tradesman of varied skills, Mr. Gosheron, two gentlemen who take a greater interest in her well being than her children. Later, VSW introduces Mr. FitzGeorge, the remarkably reclusive millionaire collector of invaluable art purchased at bargain basement prices, what gratifies him most in life. Each of these individuals enriches Lady Slane's last months. And it is Mr. FitzGeorge who empowers Lady Slane to truly stun her children.

Part Three expands upon her relationship with Mr. FitzGeorge, who met her in India when she was Vicereine. She had forgotten him, simply another of the many faces that passed before her during her years with Henry. She, however, forever captivated him. As the months pass, Mr. FitzGeorge explains himself and makes cogent observations about her life and, really, about the lives of many talented women, two of which will give the flavor of his thinking, doubtless the mirror image of VSW's. He says:

"Face it, Lady Slane. Your children, your husband, your splendour, were nothing but obstacles that kept you from yourself. They were what you chose to substitute for your real vocation." To which, upon consideration, she agrees. He follows with: "According to his [Henry] lights, he gave you all you could desire. He merely killed you, that's all. Men do kill women. Most women enjoy being killed; so I am told. Being a woman, I daresay that even you took a certain pleasure in the process."

In the end, Mr. FitzGeorge provides her with something of a second chance. He enables her to upend the selfish plans of her children, delight Edith and Genoux, and allow her great-granddaughter, Deborah, to escape an ordained marriage to pursue her creative dreams, as Lady Slane could and did not.

Highly recommended for its graceful beauty, insights into love and personal independence, and its forward-looking viewpoint. ( )