Starfish

"It's my story, after all. Maybe I need to make sense of things. Maybe I need to talk about it. And telling my story isn't the same thing as breaking her trust."

I absolutely adored this book. I went in with high expectations since it's one my best friend's favorite books, and they were not disappointed at all. This is a story that heavily deals with parental abuse and sexual abuse and it was such a moving depiction of the mechanisms involved in that and how it's not as simple as "just leave". It also dealt with being part of a culture that one has few actual connections to apart from physical features, and different approaches on how to negotiate that.

Other things I love that Starfish has: Stunning descriptions of the art (paintings and show more drawings) produced by Kiko and Hiroshi throughout the novel, anxiety rep, found families, exploration of culture and identity (or lack thereof), complex sibling relationships, childhood best friends becoming something more ten years later, incredible writing and lots of beautiful quotes.

Apart from all these wonderful elements, I think my favorite part of Starfish must have been Kiko becoming aware of the fact that she cannot rely on other people to save her, but that she must figure the way out herself. She realized her dependence on other people was not a good thing and that she could not rely on others - and especially not a boyfriend - to fix everything for her and protect her. She needed to grow strong by herself, alone, before she would be able to be in a proper relationship.

Review on my blog! show less

I draw a girl with arms that reach up to the clouds, but all the clouds avoid her because she’s made of night and not day.

Starfish is such a beautiful story of finding yourself and finding your place in the world. It’s heartbreaking and hopeful and filled with the beauty of self discovery. We follow Kiko Hirmura as she struggles with her art, her anxiety, and painful secrets from her past. But when Kiko has the chance to tour art schools on the west coast with a childhood friend, she begins to find a courage within herself she didn’t know existed.

Things I Liked
I LOVED the descriptions of her artwork at the end of the chapters. They were beautiful and moving and perfectly captured Kiko’s emotions. I could really connect with her show more as a character, because I could feel what she was feeling so clearly.

Kiko Himura is an AMAZING character. Kiko’s journey is heartbreaking and beautiful! She has such pain and insecurity that you just want to hold her hand and help her in any way you can. But she also has such strength and resilience - she want to be the one to help herself, even when she’s scared. And that makes her one of the most courageous characters I’ve even encountered. - I just love her a lot.

Kiko experiencing Chinatown and seeing other people like her was one of the purest and most joyous things I have ever read in my life. Growing up in a rural town, Kiko’s half Japanese heritage marks her as visibly different from her classmates, but seeing her experience the wonders of her culture and seeing the beauty in herself and others like her, was inspiring.

I really liked that we see Kiko address how horrible and gross it is to refer to people as “exotic.” How she feels othered and like an object to look at, not a person to know or love. She clearly explains why this hurts her and why being seen this way feels demeaning.

I also really liked Hiroshi Matsumoto, who becomes a mentor-figure for Kiko. He was a wonderful character who was caring, inspiring, and encouraging. He lifted Kiko up and helped her grow at her own pace.

Kiko and Jamie were really cute. I loved that they were both artistic and they connect through their art. I love how supportive Jamie was, and he listened to Kiko when she talked about her struggles with her anxiety.

Things I Didn’t Like
Kiko’s mom is the worst! She is poison and darkness suffocating everything around her. She is one of the most selfish characters I have ever encountered. She didn’t have a single redeeming quality and I did not like her.

Kiko’s family life just made me so sad. Her mother was horrid, her father has a new family and wasn't around much, and she never talked with her brothers, Taro and Shoji. It was just so heartbreaking to read about Kiko, Taro, and Shoji having to live in such a toxic environment.

Starfish is a beautiful story of a girl learning her worth. Kiko’s journey is emotionally captivating and her strength is inspiring. The story has such a hopeful feeling, despite Kiko’s pain and unhappiness, that you completely immerse yourself in her world. This was such a great book and I cannot recommend it enough.

Trigger Warning for racism, childhood sexual assault, parental emotional & verbal abuse, suicide attempt

I received a copy of the book from Simon Pulse via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review show less

Kiko wants nothing so much as to get into her dream art school, Prism -- and for her mother to love her and support her and care about her dreams. Unfortunately, she doesn't get in, and now she's staring down the barrel at another year of living at home with her mom, who only cares about herself and takes every opportunity to subtly put Kiko down. As Kiko spirals and things start to get worse, a lifeline appears in the form of her old best friend, Jamie, who disappeared from her life years ago when his family moved to California. Can Jamie help Kiko find herself and her path and escape her mother's toxic grasp?

I didn't know much about this book going into it -- not sure why I bought it for Kindle years ago -- but I'm glad I read it. show more Bowman's prose is strong and I couldn't help but root for Kiko as she deals with some truly awful stuff as a teenager. Her mother is a detestable villain, but in a realistic way -- I'm sure this horrible woman really exists. There were a few parts that almost made me cry. 4 stars. show less

Family and relationships during the teenage years are never an easy time, so it’s no wonder that there are so many books out there which explore the intricacies of these pivotal years. Starfish may be just one more novel in this never-ending oeuvre of distraught emotions, personal growth, and self-reflection, but author Akemi Dawn Bowman’s characterization and prose are so enthralling that it doesn’t really matter if all of these themes have been covered before. Following high school senior Kiko Himura we explore her life engaged with art, and the chaos that ensues when she doesn’t get into Prism art school in New York. This conflict may be the overlying catalyst for the story, but what makes us keep turning the pages are show more Kiko’s conflict with her narcissistic mother (a relationship that most of us would find absolutely infuriating and absolutely alien) and her struggle to find independence and make her own choices. Underlying everything is Kiko’s strange relationship with her heritage (her father is Japanese) and a debilitating self-hatred that Kiko must ultimately overcome if she is going to be her truest self as an artist and as a person. Ultimately a heart wrenching story, yet one that is filled with an artistic beauty that comes from Kiko’s (and the author’s) soul. Protip: this would make an *excellent* illustrated novel! show less

There’s some challenging subject matter touched on in this one, abuse, suicide, and a particularly heinous mother, but there’s also art and romance and that sometimes too elusive feeling of belonging.

Kiko is distant from her brothers, her father has a new family, and her mother has always made her feel ugly and unloved, as though everything, including the breakup of their family, is Kiko’s fault. But Kiko loves to draw and paint, she loves the childhood friend who has recently reappeared in her life, and little by little, with the help of those things, and a family she wasn’t born into, maybe she can learn how to love herself.

There were so many things about this one that impressed me, particularly how Kiko’s anxiety is show more handled, how it doesn’t magically go away, she progresses and regresses and progresses some more, and though she falls in love with a boy, there’s acknowledgment that falling in love won’t fix everything. While things work out easier for Kiko than maybe they would for some of her real-life counterparts, I actually liked that, too, I liked that her story offers hope.

And I loved what this has to say about beauty, Kiko most definitely is not alone in her daily battle to look in a mirror or at a photograph and see someone beautiful, it’s beyond good for every reader to be reminded through art and words that the definition of beauty is not as narrow as other media sometimes makes us feel. show less

This is a book I really wish my younger self could have read. There are so many deep, important subjects here that I feel are covered in a healthy, realistic way. Kiko is a biracial girl living in an overwhelmingly-white town who finds herself dealing with the intersection of several different issues: racism (both from her classmates and her white mother), abuse (both emotional and sexual), and mental illness (severe social anxiety).

I felt that Akemi’s portrayal of sexual assault and social anxiety were both spot-on. Of course, everyone’s experiences are different, but I really saw my own reflected here, which made me feel understood and validated. My one issue being that both Kiko and her friends tended to joke about and/or accuse show more her abusive mother of being bipolar or narcissistic. It was definitely a bummer to see an author attempt to destigmatize one form of mental illness while at the same time continuing to stigmatize others.

I loved pretty much everything else about this book. I found myself hooked into the plot right from the beginning. In short, I loved this book and I cannot recommend it enough. I’m so glad that I got my hands on a copy and I really can’t wait to see what Akemi puts out next. show less

**contains spoilers"
I have complicated feelings about this book - while I'm really glad Kiko found a warm, accepting chosen family, and a completely unrealistic romantic partner in the end, this to my knowledge rarely, if ever happens.

Damaged people will generally end up with other damaged people. Those warm, loving, well-adjusted families will avoid you like the plague. They will be friendly but they will not welcome you into their fold, nor will they ever really understand you.

****and why is there a jellyfish and not a starfish on the cover?