This was a hard book to read. It's frustrating when trying to engage people in conversation when there is so much that divides us. Plummer does a good job of sharing, via research and personal anecdotes, how hard it is to create and cultivate friendships and relationship across racial lines. ( )

I am so grateful for this book and for the work of Dr. Deborah Plummer. Not only was this an inspirational read, but it was also eye-opening and thought provoking. Some of My Friends Are...is truly an important work that I will be recommending to everyone I know. Gaining understanding of the importance of cross-racial friendships in order to move forward toward racial harmony on any level is critical. Some of My Friends Are... provides relatable anecdotes and clearly explained research that opens our eyes to the view points of those outside our own race and to the necessity to self-reflect on our own habits and insecurities when it comes to cross-racial friendships. Most importantly, with this work, Deborah Plummer has provided encouragement for each and every one of us to expand and strengthen our cross-racial friendships for, not only a more inclusive and harmonious life, but world. ( )

Synopsis: This is a non-fiction book that talks about cross-racial friendships. Author Deborah Plummer discusses why they are important as well as some of the pitfalls that can occur.

My rating: 4/5

I received this book in a Library Things Giveaway however this review is honest and voluntary.

I found this book interesting and enlightening. The topics discussed were important and things that I'd never really considered before. One of my favorite stories in the book was when Plummer spoke of her time as a nun. She was the only white nun which she hadn't expected to be an issue because she expected her identity as a nun to be more important in that situation than her racial identity. Unfortunately, what she found was that the foods served and other elements of life as a nun were culturally white. This created a sort of low key institutional racism that I had never before considered. I had assumed that as long as organizations were welcoming of everyone that was enough but it is different to be non-discriminatory and integrating.

Plummer did an excellent job of bringing her points to life through examples of situations she and her friends had personally experienced. It helped me have a deeper understanding of where she was coming from.

My main complaint about this book is just that it is, for lack of a better word, smart. Plummer is a Phd. I appreciated how educated she was but I thought that her writing made the book less accessible to anyone without a college education. It took me a long time to read this book and I really had to concentrate and struggle with it at times to follow what was being said. I prefer non-fiction which is lighter in tone and easier to read especially because my reading is often interrupted by the demands of motherhood. This isn't the type of book one can easily read when surrounded by distractions. If you don't typically read non-fiction this book is not a good place to start.

I do think this is an important book and overall I think everyone should read it. It has helped me look at cross racial friendships differently. ( )

An extremely readable book on having real friends - not just acquaintances - of other races. In a time when the country seems to be increasingly isolated among "their own kind," this is an important book for all Americans to read. ( )

An excellent, personal, and engaging exploration into the need for, and challenges associated with, cross-racial friendships in America.

The author maintains a firm conviction of the power of cross-racial friendships to help bridge the racial divides and misunderstandings which plague America today. She nevertheless is well aware of the challenges which come in having strong cross-racial friendships.

The author explores, based on her own circumstances, the condition of races in America and their tendency to self-segregate. This is all the more evident in friendships, in which very few people have a truly strong friendship with a member of another race. She discusses the challenges which have led to this situation, and explores the various stumbling blocks which make it difficult to have and maintain cross-racial friendships. She is hopeful that people will do better at intentionally attempting to maintain cross-racial friendships but understands the difficulties involved. She also addresses the various stages of friendship, racial recognition, and other elements which go into making or breaking cross-racial friendships. She has a strong background in psychology which she uses to great effect in the book.

I personally found her example of the class exercise involving the "Suns," "Moons," and "Stars" illuminating, indicating that even if race were not the construct at hand there would be some other means by which those who have a lot and those who are managing to get by will demonize those who do not have enough and will find ways to justify their hoarding of resources. It certainly doesn't justify what goes on in America, but it goes a long way to explaining how it has come to be.

A good read in light of the challenges facing our society.

**--book received as part of early review program ( )